It's a big world out there, with plenty of things clamouring for our attention. But there are the things we keep returning to, the ones we can't get enough of. Each week, Attention Getter shows you what's charming the Huffington Post Canada Living team and what we think will charm you too.
Enter Suri's World
In a world where every other person (alright, 5 per cent of people) puts their child on Facebook and Hollywood's baby pictures fetch upwards of seven digits, some backlash is inevitable.
We're thankful it's come in the form of Suri's Burn Book, a brilliant Tumblr account written from the perspective of Suri Cruise, complete with all the inside jokes and less than-thinly veiled insults one could hope for from this queen of the toddler set. Making the rounds since July and currently searched more than ever, Suri's Burn Book numerous fans include Time, Jezebel, and of course, HuffPost. The author of the page remains a mystery, but 'Suri's' sense of humour and knowledge of the minutiae of celeb lives is unsurpassed.
Some Choice Excerpts
The tights are too big, the sleeves are unflattering, and if she's trying to channel Natalie Portman here, let's just be honest -- in the celebrity child realm, I am the White Swan and the Black Swan.
I'm onto you, Honor Warren. I think lately she's been calculating photo-ops to make herself appear aggressively fearless in the press. I mean, taking out a pinata at the ankles while wearing fashionable mid-calf boots? This girl is clearly challenging me.
Why We Love It
Is it mean? Oh yes. Is it preying on innocent kids whose parents just happen to be famous? You betcha. But it's also speaking to that huge portion of the population that is simultaneously drawn to and disdainful of celebrity culture, taking all of that pop culture knowledge that clogs up our brains and turning into a daily laugh that just happens to dole out some handy fashion tips along the way.
See the (fake) Twitter accounts of Hollywood kids:
With hilarious tweets and a snarky voice, BeyonceJayFetus wins for most creative of the Bey Baby Twitter handles. These Tweets ("My baby shower will be bigger than William and Kate's wedding. Whatever.") will make the next few months until baby's birth go by faster than Beyonce can shake her... you know. Parents: Beyoncé And Jay-Z Twitter Handle: BeyonceJayFetus Description: Didn't I look good at VMA's? Following: 43 Followers: 5,162 Frequent Tweeter
If you want Perez Hilton for the Hollywood under-ten age group, turn to Suri Cruise's "Burn Book". The Twitter account notifies followers when there has been a catty update about any celebrity baby's wardrobe. Need we say more? Parents: Tom Cruise and Katie Homes Twitter Handle: @surisburnbook Description: A study in Suri and the people who disappoint her. http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com Following: 0 Followers: 4,258 Frequent Tweeter
Our other favorite Tweets: "I'm the only kid in my class that can spell "kombucha" #goldstar" and "You know how hard it is to get on the damn karaoke machine in this house? Glad mom's in LA. Gonna get my Wiz Khalifa on. #blackandyellow". How does this only have two followers? Parents: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Twitter Handle: @mosespatrow Description: I am the son of Gwyneth Paltrow and that dude who sings for Coldplay (that's what my mom calls him) Following: 3 Followers: 2 Last tweet April 27
Kourtney Kardashian's son, Mason Dash Disick, is a Bravo reality TV star in the making -- which might explain why the almost 2-year-old already has multiple fake Twitter accounts. Masondashdisick hasn't been updated since January, so our fingers are crossed that it will he'll start tweeting again soon. Parents: Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick Twitter Handle: @masondashdisick Following: 9 Followers: 2,085 Last tweet Jan 14
The interesting part about this Twitter is that it was made by the baby's father, Gary Shirley and not some fan run amok. You might remember Shirley from MTV's Teen Mom -- yeah, he's guy who got beat up by Amber Portwood on television. Parents: Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley (from Teen Mom) Twitter Handle: @leah_leann Following: 27 Followers: 16,629 Regular Tweeter
We know, we know -- Justin Bieber isn't exactly a celebrity baby, but he is a baby celebrity. Parents: Does it matter? Twitter Handle: @justinbieber Description: NEVER SAY NEVER FANCUT out on DVD NOW!! I GOT SO MUCH LOVE FOR THE FANS...you are always there for me and I will always be there for you. MUCH LOVE. thanks Following: 116,426 Followers: 12,582,838 Regular Tweeter