Suri's Burn Book: Attention Getter

The Huffington Post Canada     Posted: 11/24/11 11:22 AM ET

It's a big world out there, with plenty of things clamouring for our attention. But there are the things we keep returning to, the ones we can't get enough of. Each week, Attention Getter shows you what's charming the Huffington Post Canada Living team and what we think will charm you too.

Enter Suri's World

In a world where every other person (alright, 5 per cent of people) puts their child on Facebook and Hollywood's baby pictures fetch upwards of seven digits, some backlash is inevitable.

We're thankful it's come in the form of Suri's Burn Book, a brilliant Tumblr account written from the perspective of Suri Cruise, complete with all the inside jokes and less than-thinly veiled insults one could hope for from this queen of the toddler set. Making the rounds since July and currently searched more than ever, Suri's Burn Book numerous fans include Time, Jezebel, and of course, HuffPost. The author of the page remains a mystery, but 'Suri's' sense of humour and knowledge of the minutiae of celeb lives is unsurpassed.

Some Choice Excerpts

On Harlow Madden's ballet outfit:

The tights are too big, the sleeves are unflattering, and if she's trying to channel Natalie Portman here, let's just be honest -- in the celebrity child realm, I am the White Swan and the Black Swan.

On Honor Warren with a pinata:

I'm onto you, Honor Warren. I think lately she's been calculating photo-ops to make herself appear aggressively fearless in the press. I mean, taking out a pinata at the ankles while wearing fashionable mid-calf boots? This girl is clearly challenging me.

Why We Love It

Is it mean? Oh yes. Is it preying on innocent kids whose parents just happen to be famous? You betcha. But it's also speaking to that huge portion of the population that is simultaneously drawn to and disdainful of celebrity culture, taking all of that pop culture knowledge that clogs up our brains and turning into a daily laugh that just happens to dole out some handy fashion tips along the way.

See the (fake) Twitter accounts of Hollywood kids:

Beyonce And Jay-Z s Unborn Child
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Beyonce/Jay\'s Fetus
There better be a fresh pair of Timbs or Louboutins on the other side waiting for me.
With hilarious tweets and a snarky voice, BeyonceJayFetus wins for most creative of the Bey Baby Twitter handles. These Tweets ("My baby shower will be bigger than William and Kate's wedding. Whatever.") will make the next few months until baby's birth go by faster than Beyonce can shake her... you know.

Parents: Beyoncé And Jay-Z
Twitter Handle: BeyonceJayFetus
Description: Didn't I look good at VMA's?
Following: 43
Followers: 5,162
Frequent Tweeter
Total comments: 1 | Post a Comment
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Fake Celebrity Baby
Going Gah-Gah

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Fake Celebrity Babies
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