Marjorie Raymond Suicide: Quebec Teen Was Tormented By Bullying, Says Her Mother (VIDEOS)

CP    
First Posted: 11/30/11 02:09 PM ET Updated: 12/01/11 06:55 AM ET

MONTREAL - A flip comment made on Facebook several weeks ago cut chillingly to the heart of a debate on bullying raging Wednesday in Canada.

"Suspended 5 days! ahahaha! Not bad," the teenaged alleged aggressor of Quebec schoolgirl Marjorie Raymond wrote on Facebook on Nov. 1, apparently unperturbed by the penalty handed down by her school.

Within a month, Raymond had killed herself.

Cases like this one were the inspiration behind legislation tabled Wednesday in next-door Ontario. Following other high-profile teen suicides in that province, the McGuinty government introduced a bill that would allow schools to permanently expel students for bullying.

The Facebook post was one of several referring to the teen's run-ins with Raymond, who became severely depressed over the torment she faced at school.

When Raymond committed suicide, someone posted on the other girl's page: "You must be proud of yourself with a death on your conscience. . . .Pathetic."

Raymond took her own life on Nov. 28 in the tiny town of Ste-Anne-des-Monts, Que., telling her mother in a suicide note that she couldn't endure the physical and psychological abuse any longer.

The bullying had apparently been going on for three years and Raymond said in a suicide note made public by her mother that, "it's the fault of jealous people who want to wreck our happiness."

Chantal Larose, the teen's mother, urged teens and school officials to take bullying seriously and act upon it, saying she doesn't feel her daughter's plight was taken seriously enough.

She also said the aggressors should be aware their actions have consequences.

"I don't want anything bad to happen to her," Larose said of her daughter's alleged bully.

"(But) I hope she understands that what she did wasn't nothing. I want her to understand that the things she said to my daughter brought her to this point."

Raymond's death sparked outrage in Quebec on Wednesday, grabbing headlines and sparking debate in the provincial legislature.

Premier Jean Charest said he was saddened to hear of Raymond's suicide and expressed his sympathies to her family.

"When these sad events happen, of course, we all ask ourselves if there are things we can do differently to avoid them," Charest told reporters.

"We've already initiated a number of things to deal with this issue of intimidation in the schoolyard and we've done a great deal of work. These issues are often difficult issues and we'll look at whatever we can do that can be more effective."

Parti Quebecois Leader Pauline Marois said news of Raymond's death brought tears to her eyes when she heard about it and she insisted bullying policies have to be reviewed.

"We, collectively, have a responsibility," she said. "Our institutions have a responsibility."

There was even a lengthy debate on the alleged bully's Facebook page, although she didn't weigh in. Some teens blasted the girl, asking, "Did you enjoy beating her?"

The debate in Quebec came on the same day that Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty tabled his new anti-bullying bill in his provincial legislature. The legislation would allow schools to permanently expel students for bullying, instead of being limited to suspensions, McGuinty said after visiting students at L'Amoreaux Collegiate Institute in north Toronto.

The suicide of 15-year-old Jamie Hubley, a boy who was targeted as an openly gay student at his Ottawa school, touched a nerve, with teens from around North America flooding the Internet with tribute songs, videos and messages in response.

Even pop megastar Lady Gaga joined in the efforts at a Toronto-area school, sending a video message of support to an anti-bullying rally. She said the effort was important and pointed out that one of her teen fans had committed suicide after being intimidated.

By Nelson Wyatt, The Canadian Press
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MONTREAL - A flip comment made on Facebook several weeks ago cut chillingly to the heart of a debate on bullying raging Wednesday in Canada."Suspended 5 days! ahahaha! Not bad," the teenaged alleged a...
MONTREAL - A flip comment made on Facebook several weeks ago cut chillingly to the heart of a debate on bullying raging Wednesday in Canada."Suspended 5 days! ahahaha! Not bad," the teenaged alleged a...
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04:09 PM on 12/02/2011
Slander. Assault. Harassment. Manslaughter.

Until we stop treating this issue as child's play it will continue, evolving along the way, as it has with social media. Regardless of age or gender, aggressors need real consequences. We fail victims (on average every 7 minutes) as parents, teachers, and policy makers by not supplying and enforcing consequences.

Adults can manage a horrible environment by changing jobs, neighbourhoods, partners... Young children and teens are forced to face their aggressors daily for years on end, by their parents and their government. They do this without the experience, maturity, strength, voice, authority, and resources of an adult.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem but children don't always have the foresight to realize it. No wonder, with the prevailing ignorance on the topic and so many adults without solutions.

Even regular kids become bullies. Imagine the heady power as you elevate your self esteem and social status. Consider how many adults would drink and drive, or speed, or not quite pay their taxes if it were acceptable to their peers and they knew they were immune to the law?
01:16 PM on 12/02/2011
I won't deny reading this and watching the video has brought tears to my eyes and upset to my stomach. Bullying has been tolerated for years, but we are smarter now, we know better. I have children her age, and I could not imagine the loss of a child. And even more so, I couldn't imagine being the parent of a bully, knowing each day that my child went to school to bully someone else's child. The children are to blame for causing such pain to the other children, but the parents and all other adults who are aware and sit back and do nothing, should be ashamed. How terribly sad...
12:57 PM on 12/02/2011
I've been bullied, and I know what it's like. They are scum, incapable of shame or empathy, they should be publicly immolated!
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topkatnc
Give a stray cat or dog a chance .
10:29 AM on 12/02/2011
I don't know what it is going to take for kids to start listening .. Bullying is getting worse , not better .. I know of a case first hand , where finally the parents took their son out of middle school ... their son who was born with one lung was getting bullied .. the teacher and the school nurse talked with the students about why this young man , couldn't do or play games like the rest of them .. it didn't do one bit of good .. Their son now is home schooled .. the generations that are coming up , are going to be big problems .. We ain't seen nothing yet .
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GiaMTL
09:36 AM on 12/02/2011
I am terribly saddened by this. We all have a responsibility to talk to our children from a very young age about bullying. Budgets must be allotted to schools to hold anti bullying campaigns starting at Kindergarden and every single year following. I recall in my years in my primary school and high school years we had guidance counsellors whose doors were open, and was it coincidence that suicides were far fewer? Today, there are more and more career counsellors and fewer guidance counsellors due to budget cuts...how is that working for our society? I don't claim to have the answers, but I sure wish I had one to help prevent this epidemic of teen suicide due to bullying... RIP Marjorie.
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David Balmer
01:23 AM on 12/02/2011
My tough, buddhist father, who was constantly pushing the "RESPECT" button, would basically sit us down on a chair and talk it into us for maybe an hour. That was really tough, and much more effective than physical abuse. We were 9 kids, all very fit and extremely sporty. We were bullied sometimes, but it would usually end really quickly. But, my father never allowed us to do the bullying. Respect the fat kid, the Mormon kid, the Jehovas Witness kid, who were basically being targeted often. I actually got to the point where I could protect my other co-students who were being bullied. Not by punching or beating them, but it was more about finding a little moment in time to make them aware of what they were doing. I lived all over America from Phili, to Portland, Maine to Telluride, Colo, Sun Valley Idaho, Seattle, Eugene, S.F....and on and on..no matter how big the school was, or how small, there were always some nasty kids, doing nasty things. The co-students or friends of these bullies are the ones with the best chances of cleaning up the mess.
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StephenBP
What's he building in there?
09:39 AM on 12/02/2011
I love your story and the wisdom in it. It is like there is an role in the modern school system that is not being filled.
Any suggestions on how to fill it?
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David Balmer
12:43 PM on 12/02/2011
Goodness, I would like to think that the kids today are not any different than what I had back in the 70s and 80s, but honestly it really could be a bit too much, with all of the telephones, emails, computer world, full of exceptional possibilities for mobbing and emotionally tearing people apart. But at the same time you could say that due to the wonderful information out there about this problem, that more kids would be sensitive to it. Even more than we were? Crazy world it is, and not easy for kids who are unpopular within the school. Very difficult to point a finger at who is responsible for it all. Parents? I guess so, but many parents just dont have a clue about anything going on with their kids. I have 6 here in Switzerland and I honestly dont know everything about their daily experiences. I am always ready to go and kick some ass!! Just kidding!!
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pab08
Partisan agendas can't compete with objective fact
11:35 PM on 12/01/2011
1) When Raymond committed suicide, someone posted on the other girl's page: "You must be proud of yourself with a death on your conscience. . . .Pathetic."
Now that sure sounds like bullying too.

2) When a child that believes suicide is an acceptable response to temporary difficulties, that child's parents need to take a good look at themselves and how they failed to communicate and teach their values.
Bullying has been around forever. Most of us were bullied, and nobody that I know ever killed themselves because of it.
Bullying is the result of bad parenting.
Teen suicide is a result of bad parenting.
But that doesn't mean that teen suicides are the result of bullying. You can't blame the words of another person for someone deciding that murder is acceptable. In no legal case of which I am aware has the law decided that WORDS were an acceptable reason to take a life. And suicide is no different than murder.
06:34 AM on 12/02/2011
I get what you're saying but bad parenting isn't always behind teen suicide. And bullying may not be the lone cause behind her killing herself, even though that may be how she saw it (understandably). Major depression, and the abject sense of hopelessness that comes with it, isn't always easily recognizable -- or imaginable! -- even to parents, even to professionals.
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GiaMTL
09:23 AM on 12/02/2011
"Teen suicide is the result of bad parenting"? That is by far one of the most ignorant statements I have ever read in my life.
08:44 PM on 12/03/2011
I agree..Perhaps the conclusion of a bully?! Stating a child took her life because of being tormented, is stating a fact the other teen with have to live wh, and it's not bullying. Heave to face the consequences. And if she feels bad?!? She did this to Marjorie and didn't care, laughing about her suspension. No, it's not bullying in return...Andy hope to a day goes by that she gets to forget what she did to Marjorie when she was here...and that she never does t to anyone else.
10:05 PM on 12/01/2011
true incident...my grandaughter by chance (11yrs)told me that she ate lunch by herself in the cafeteria,so l asked why that was,she said another girl didn't like her and she told the other girls if they sat at lunch with my grandaughter that she wouldn't be friends with them...sooo l told my daughter,you better do something about this...so the next day my daughter waited after school to talk to this girl...this girl saw my daughter and knew why she was there,so my daughter asked her why she was telling everyone not to sit with my grandaughter,she denied it..started crying..denied it again..my daughter told her that she was going to tell her mother what she was doing..the girl really started crying!..said please don't tell my mom!.that she wouldn't do it anymore..my daughter said ok,if l hear about it again my going straight to your mom!...well it stopped...sometimes we need to be an advocate for our children
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Fenrir Lokison
I luv the sci fi of Evolution and the Big Bang
11:49 PM on 12/01/2011
So true.
04:12 PM on 12/02/2011
That's the missing item. Consequences.
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Robert A Hayes
-commentclarity-
09:17 PM on 12/01/2011
bullys are the first hurt.. and the least capable to deal that.

" it hurt going in huh?... just as much in as you want it to coming out"

"you cry all night huh?... let the fists fly though in the daylight"

"somebody violates you in your bedroom huh?... get you some payback in the classroom"

...bet if somebody could make it stop for you... hear you, save you... that could change you.
06:04 PM on 12/01/2011
Did some digging around and found the girl responsible, doesn't look like she's from a bad background either. Wonder how these things start

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1291595668&sk=wall
06:57 PM on 12/01/2011
These things start by kids being kids.
08:18 PM on 12/01/2011
desBlackmore = parent of the year
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All Seeing Guy
Center of the storm
08:20 PM on 12/01/2011
No problem then, eh.
04:13 PM on 12/01/2011
I am so sorry on your lost. My grandson was bullied at school. The way the principle dealt with it was to send the victim up to the class room in isolation and take the bully to McDonalds to ask him why he did that. What a pile of crap!
I say take that bully to court and make it mandatory for them to get counselling. Also make the parents of that child go to counselling, they may or may not be aware of the bulling. Most time a bully does what they do , because they are themselves being bullied.
I guarantee that there would be a major change in attitudes if we did this. To give a child a holiday from school is not an answer, believe me for them a suspension is a holiday from school to do what they want. So stop giving them what they want.
04:00 PM on 12/01/2011
The problem with bullying legislation is this: The harder you try to curb bullying, through legislation, the more likely it will be that normal incidents between kids will be labeled as harassment and blown way out of proportion.

For example, I believe in America, one state attempted to classified the act of leaving kids out of games as "bullying". Moreover, some schools and school districts have banned tag, because they believed tag was being used as an excuse to hit, or touch people.

Our culture (America's, and Canada's) is too over reactionary. Passing anti-bullying legislation will not help to stop bullying. You know why? Because it cannot be stopped, at least through legislation. It's human nature. Just like how crime legislation doesn't stop murderers from killing, unfortunately, it's in our nature.

The dirty little secret, which I believe most Liberals do not want to admit... is this: The only way to stop a bully, is for the victim to punch him in the face. Bully's cannot be reasoned with. It worked for me, when I was the victim, and it worked for countless generations before us.

That is my rant, thanks for reading.
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Fenrir Lokison
I luv the sci fi of Evolution and the Big Bang
04:34 PM on 12/01/2011
Legislation, if we REALLY stop and look at it, IS NOT about stopping anything, though that is the intent and goal, but to really have a system of what happens when people do not follow the law.

We can never stop bullying, or assaults, or thefts, or rapes, or murders, or abuses, but what we can do is hold a person accountable for these offenses and let the world know...We will not stand for it in our society and this is what will happen to you should you make the choice to go down this path.
07:56 PM on 12/01/2011
you are correct! Check out youtube...."Bully Beatdown"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKBh80SDox0

and I vote Liberal.
03:03 PM on 12/01/2011
Parents have to teach their kids to TELL SOMEONE about bullying. Tell your parents, tell your teacher, tell your principal, tell your priest, tell your couch. Just keep telling until someone does something about it. If the first person you tell doesn't help, tell someone else. You don't have to take your life.
02:57 PM on 12/01/2011
Expelled? When did that get to be a punishment? When do we put bullying in the criminal code? When do we sentence these limitless brats like adults? When do we teach them that their actions have consequences for others and for themselves? This problem is another extension of the culture we have created in which everything is someone else's responsibility and personal liberty is placed above personal accountability
04:27 PM on 12/01/2011
Couldn't have said it better myself.!!!
02:49 PM on 12/01/2011
So now that its all to late everyone gets involved. Please people! I have from day one educated my children and mt step childen on being a bully, and what its like to be bullied. When all the comotion from Colimbime happened I found myself sympathising somewhat with the "bad guys". I was picked on in high school so bad that I fantasized aout hurting my tourmentors. Had I have had access to weapons I honestly think that at the time I would have used them. That thought scared the heck out of me! 4 children now, all the what ifs haunted me. Well the best thing I can think to do is educate my children. Not only so I dont have a bully on my hands one day, but also so if I have a child being bullied they feel free to communicate about it. I dont want them to hurt themself or others as a reasulof the way I taught them. I every year get commended by my childerns teachers for having such strong and posative children. It is the parents responsibility to know what their child is up to and stop them from hurting other people!
Help is almost always to late, but still always needed! Dont let this girls death go without lessons learned! Educate your children!