Casual Sex: Whether A Booty Call Or Buddy, Casual Sex Has Rules

Couple In Bed

First Posted: 12/01/11 02:59 PM ET Updated: 12/02/11 10:42 AM ET

TORONTO - Casual sex isn't just called casual sex any more.

A University of Ottawa researcher says young people have their own codes to describe sexual encounters outside of committed relationships.

Jocelyn Wentland, a doctoral student in experimental psychology, looked at the various types of casual-sex relationships among people aged 18 to 27 and how they are termed.

"We now have names to describe these things in ways that wasn't the case say 20, 30 years ago," Wentland said Thursday.

The four most popular terms used by those in the focus groups included "booty call," "friends with benefits" and "one-night stand." The remaining term has a profanity in it, but can be politely translated as "sex" buddy.

All the terms used to describe the encounters have subtle nuances of meaning, said Wentland.

For instance, a booty call is an invitation from someone you already know who wants to meet for impromptu sex, according to the study's authors.

The booty call is made "usually by text and often late at night," said Wentland, adding alcohol may also be involved.

On the other hand, the one-night stand is usually the classic case of two people who meet at a bar and then hook up for the night, she explained.

"Somebody probably sleeps over but they leave right in the morning. There's no breakfast, there's no hanging around."

As for friends with benefits, they are people who were friends before they became sexually involved. Those relationships, Wentland says, are the most complicated.

See Hollywood's modern casual sex films ... story continues below

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  • No Strings Attached

    The first of 2011's casual sex flicks, No Strings Attached starred Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher as old friends who decide to start having sex. Will they get together in the end? We can't even guess.

  • Friends With Benefits

    Next up on the f**k buddy train were Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake in Friends With Benefits. Was it a coincidence that the two stars of Black Swan would end up making basically the same movie? Perhaps, but if they were handing out Oscars in this genre, Kunis would be the one holding the statue.

  • Knocked Up

    Big burly guy meets leggy blond, and guess what? She wants to have sex with him, just like it would happen in real life. Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogan turn a one-night stand into so much more -- and we can't help but admit we sort of love it.

  • What's Your Number?

    A woman who's willing to admit she's slept with more than four men? We can get behind that kind of plotline, particularly when it involves Anna Faris and her ridiculous antics.

  • Love and Other Drugs

    This movie starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway supposedly has more to it than some romps in the sack, but you don't get that from this trailer. So we'll just pretend that these two good-looking actors spend most of their time onscreen in bed, without any attachments at all.

  • The People I've Slept With

    The lesser-known The People I've Slept With is a bit grungier than the more mainstream Knocked Up, but it follows a similar premise -- have casual sex, get pregnant, feel badly about your sex life. It does, however, seem to follow a more nuanced path.

  • Bridesmaids

    Kristen Wiig's Bridesmaids may ostensibly be about the nutty antics of getting married and the women that make it even crazier, but one of the best storylines has to be around Wiig and Jon Hamm's terrible casual sex relationship.

The friends might be part of a group and not want the others to know about their sexual relationship, she said.

How relationships were defined depended on the frequency of sexual contact, how much personal information is shared, and emotional attachment, among other things.

Wentland's study looked at factors such as how the partners knew each other, whether they added each other to Facebook, and if they discussed the ending of the relationship.

Her study showed both males and females know the rules of conduct for each relationship type.

Other terms that were discussed during the study that did not make the top four included: boy toy, fling, fooling around and no strings attached.

Wentland's article, "Taking Casual Sex Not Too Casually: Exploring Definitions of Casual Sexual Relationships" is published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality.

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TORONTO - Casual sex isn't just called casual sex any more.A University of Ottawa researcher says young people have their own codes to describe sexual encounters outside of committed relationships.Joc...
TORONTO - Casual sex isn't just called casual sex any more.A University of Ottawa researcher says young people have their own codes to describe sexual encounters outside of committed relationships.Joc...
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03:30 PM on 12/05/2011
Casual sex is such a great topic because it cuts across humor, science, pop culture and more. Plus sex of course can be great fun and this sometimes unfortunately gets lost in long-term relationships that are having problems! My belief is that casual sex is great as long as both parties know it's casual sex. Whey they aren't both on the same page, then that's when it can get messy. (No pun intended.) The cliche issues are for men to mislead women into thinking it's more than casual sex and/or women hoping it's more even though they've been told it's not. If you're interested I talk about casual sex in my relationship book "The Four Factors." See http://bit.ly/9ZzEjp In any case, great article and topic!
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12:02 PM on 12/04/2011
I think the subject is just as complex and puzzling as Israel and Palestine. There is heat, and there is Love, and our movie culture tends to mush them together so people get programmed to think just because there is heat there is love, so they fall in and out of heat all the time. Personally, after seeing a number of hot and loving relationships run their course, I prefer to not marry. It seems like a fact marriage tends to ruin relationships. If I were lucky enough to find the right person for me, and there was chemistry, mental and physical, I would prefer to wake up every day and make a decision to be with that person or not, and I think I would gain more comfort in knowing they were choosing to be with me, not obligated.. Plus, it keeps you on your toes, doing your best The idea and theory of marriage and then live happily ever after sounds appealing, I have just never seen it. Yet people seem to expect that.
01:15 PM on 12/31/2011
Israel/Palestine is not particularly puzzling if you know anything about the history, human rights, or international law. As with any subject, there are many facts one can learn, but the "complexity" you feel the situation has is probably almost entirely a result of your having learned what you know about it from the US corporate news media.
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03:24 PM on 12/31/2011
I hear you. I know the media is highly scutinized. I guess what i meant was 'connundrum'....hard to find a solution for.
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piceaglauca
The picture says it all....
11:18 AM on 12/04/2011
If I had to do it over again I would skip marriage since there is too much negotiating and I am tired of waiting. Can't stand the guessing each night and talking about it so it is just better to leave it alone. I like the four categories but I think it existed before just wasn't labeled. The other neat thing is if you get bored you can move to girl B or girl C and so on. Don't tell me they don't do the same thing. They are players as much as men are.
02:06 AM on 12/04/2011
I think this makes total sense. What's the point in wasting time fighting and feeling low from negative energy that forms in every relationship, when you can just fill that connective 'emptiness' with a few hours of good ol' casual sex? Now you can skip all the bull and just have the good.
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CharlesBivona
Poetic Writer, Professor Activist
04:23 PM on 12/03/2011
"We now have names to describe these things in ways that wasn't the case say 20, 30 years ago," said Jocelyn Wentland, a doctoral student in experimental psychology (who clearly wasn't sexually active 20 years ago.)
02:33 PM on 01/25/2012
no, of course not! the universe only started in 1972. The sixties are just fairy tales!
08:49 AM on 12/03/2011
Why would any one want to take thier cothes off to a stranger....he or she could be a sick in the head, have a decease, commited hateful crimes or worse... not to mention how gross it is..That may look clean or smell clean, but are they really.....to boot, you don't know them!
02:34 PM on 01/25/2012
are you talking about bay scallops or sexual partners?
05:04 AM on 12/03/2011
Fascinating article, and a valuable result of the scientific method vigorously applied. I hope the dedicated student next turns her attention to analyzing trends in the terms used by young people for reproductive organs. You know, still real cutting edge stuff.
07:53 PM on 12/02/2011
'Casual' is sensual . . a smoothie for two . . .
01:15 PM on 12/02/2011
What ever happened to actually dating and developing a relationship? Maybe it's because I have "been there and done that" that I find this kind of disgusting as the norm now. My best friend, a male in his late 40's claims to be so lonely and wants a companion and a life partner yet all he does is chase after the floozies on the dating sites based on their looks and it doesn't matter that their profile flat out states that they are looking for nothing more than casual sex. Since when did sex become a recreational sport? I am more open then most people I would bet but I would rather stay alone then to go back into the void of emptiness that casual sex brings with it.
02:56 PM on 12/02/2011
There results a "void of emptyness" only if you expect there to be more. If you go in knowing it's about satisfying the natural urge for sex, and nothing more, then you come out satisfied, not yearning. Sounds like that is not for you, which is fine. Don't play the game.
05:41 PM on 12/02/2011
And at what point do you realize that you are letting the ones that will be life partners slip by? I have talked to alot of people that used to fool themselves into thinking it was no big deal and they realize they wasted many years and now they are seeking a life mate and they have given away too many chances and too many good people
11:51 AM on 12/02/2011
what about knocking boots or the late night box lunch...
Mochilero
Have backpack, will travel
11:18 AM on 12/02/2011
Got it on :-). Actually hot it on sounds good too.
Mochilero
Have backpack, will travel
11:17 AM on 12/02/2011
Silly me. In the sixties and seventies we hot it on when we felt like it, and didn't call it anything in particular. It seems like these days these poor kids look for a rationalization. This is not progress.
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Kojak007
10:32 AM on 12/02/2011
It's not very surprising that there are so many terms for these things. Life has evolved for humans in the 21st century but our biology hasn't. For most of us, these types of relationships are sort of a right of passage, something we all do before we settle down. However, what has changed in the last 40 years or so is that women are in the work force just as much as men now. And on top of that the fact that we are all working more hours than ever before. And it seems that each year we work just a little bit more. We simply don't have time to foster relationships the same way we used to so we're forced to create new compact, comercial sized relationships that satisfy us on some level while remaining uncomplicated.

www.currentlychicago.com
10:28 AM on 12/02/2011
S T D alert!
10:21 AM on 12/02/2011
Front page....Really?!!!