MP's Christmas Parody Rhymes Off Political Battles

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Liberal MP Rodger Cuzner appropriated "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" for the purposes of political parody. | Adrian Wyld, CP

Liberal MP Rodger Cuzner (Cape Breton-Canso) partook in a time-honoured tradition Thursday of appropriating "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" for the purposes of political parody.

Cuzner posted his version of Clement Moore's Christmas classic on his website Thursday and read the altered poem aloud in the House of Commons, just hours before the House was to rise for its Christmas break.

Here is the text of his rhyme:

'Twas the week before Christmas and all over the Hill

The humbuggish Tories were imposing their will.

The stockings in Muskoka were stuffed to the brim

But life for First Nations remained woefully grim.

And at the North Pole, Santa's problems abound

There was much work to do but no workers around.

How can we do Christmas with no reindeer or elves?

The sleigh is a wreck, there's no toys on the shelves.

Costs have just spiralled, the elves threaten strike

They won't work this Christmas without a pay hike.

Tory payroll taxes have taken their toll

Now unemployed elves populate the North Pole.

Federal money for deer feed and vets

Has just been reprofiled for big jails and jets.

Heartbroken children would spring from their beds

For the first Christmas ever shut down by the feds.

No presents for Christmas, Tories felt the frustration

So they saddled the elves with back-to-work legislation.

No reindeer or sleigh to fly our roof-topper?

No problem; just send in a Cormorant chopper.

The moral I share: Tories lack rhyme or reason

Nonetheless, all the best for a great Christmas season!


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