Police in Windsor, Ont., are on a disgusting stakeout — they're waiting for a man accused of stealing and swallowing a $20,000 diamond to have a bowel movement.
The 52-year-old man allegedly swallowed the diamond when he realized a sharp jewelry salesperson and police were on to him at Precision Jewellers.
Sgt. Brett Corey said the man is being kept in a special cell, without a toilet.
"We are monitoring his bowel movements, if you will. Our forensic identification people are the lucky ones who have to go through the waste to obtain the diamond once it passes," Corey said.
The man is charged with theft over $5,000 after he allegedly stole the diamond May 10.
Dan Thomas has been in the jewelry business for 25 years, and he has never seen anything like what happened at his store when the man allegedly tried to switch the diamond with sleight of hand.
Luckily, he had an alert clerk.
"She noticed that he had fumbled with the stone and she thought right away that he had switched the stone, so when it was handed back to her, she said, 'I don't think this is the stone I gave you.' And he said, 'No, no, this is what you gave me, I don't have anything on me.'"
But the clerk, who declined to be interviewed, didn't buy the man's claims. She recognized the man from a wanted poster circulating among jewellers. She asked the jeweller to check the stone. He determined it to be a fake and not the $20,000, 1.7- karat gem she originally gave him.
"And they just kept stalling him, and at that point, the jeweller came in and pretended to get a coffee and locked the door," Thomas said.
The saleswoman, meanwhile, wrote on a note "call the police" and passed it to a fellow employee who did just that.
Thomas, who has reviewed security footage from the day, said the man started to look uncomfortable and saw him allegedly "swallow the stone."
"You can see it on the video camera," Thomas claimed.
The police eventually arrived and arrested the man. Response time was six minutes. The savvy saleswoman said it felt longer.
Now, police wait.
But the question for the jeweller is what to do with it once it passes. There are ways of moving diamonds in the industry other than selling them to the public.
"But you never know, people might want it, saying, 'There's a whole story behind this diamond and I want it,'" Thomas said.
What these two Tennessee <a href="http://www.tennesseecriminallawyerblog.com/2009/11/men_use_permanent_marker_to_create_burglary_disguise.html" target="_hplink">would-be robbers</a> taught us by trying to "disguise" themselves by covering their face in black magic marker is that there is never, ever a good reason to apply black anything to a white face.
<a href="http://www.irishcentral.com/news/news_from_ireland/Woman-in-sumo-wrestler-suit-assaults-ex-girlfriend-after-waving-at-man-dressed-as-Snickers-bar-97262439.html" target="_hplink">This headline. That's all</a>.
In a scene that sounds like more like a Monty Python sketch than an actual news item, an Amish teen led a <a href="http://www.aolnews.com/2010/07/21/amish-teen-leads-police-on-horse-and-buggy-chase/" target="_hplink">low-speed police chase on his horse and buggy</a>.
Bad news: A Florida man was pulled over and arrested after the police searched his car and found marijuana and drug paraphernalia. Good news: In the process, the police found a bong that the man had been looking <i>everywhere</i> for -- <a href="http://www.aolnews.com/2010/10/20/arrested-man-thanks-police-for-finding-long-lost-bong/" target="_hplink">and thanked the cops for their help.</a>
If you're anything like a woman in Sweden arrested for drunk driving, you may think you can get out of the case by <a href="http://www.thelocal.se/15320/20081030/" target="_hplink">covering up one eye to avoid double vision</a>, as she claimed in court. Unfortunately, it won't work (neither the method nor the excuse).
There's a reason that billboards don't say, "Drink. Drive. Go To Jail. Next time, get <a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/buy-dad-brain" target="_hplink">your 10-year-old son to drive instead</a>." But one Tennessee man found out the hard way that it might not be a great idea after the car crashed (everyone is fine).
You gotta hand it to a Dallas man who tried to cash a f<a href="http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/050108dnmetbillion.b623795f.html" target="_hplink">ake check for $360 billion</a>. Why not?
When a 14-year-old Tampa Bay boy dialed the wrong number, he quickly apologized, then offered to sell the person on the other end of the line some drugs. Unfortunately for him, <a href="http://www.wtsp.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=56634" target="_hplink">that other person was a cop</a>. As Maeby Bluth might say, "That was a freebie."
A Colorado man went to a video store and claimed that as a part of the <a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/phony-porn-inspector-popped" target="_hplink">"age verification unit" of the local police department</a>, it was his duty to confiscate DVDs of pornography to ensure that all the actresses (and actors, presumably) were over 18. As foolproof as this plan was, he was arrested by the cops deployed from the Creepster Verification Unit. Apparently he had never even heard of the Internet.
Since when was it a crime to try to resuscitate a long-dead armadillo on the road? Who knows, but a <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8591303.stm" target="_hplink">drunk Pittsburgh man who tried</a> was arrested anyway.
Here's a great way to get arrested: 1. Commit bank fraud; receive over $200,000 in credit. 2. Flee the country. 3. <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8306032.stm" target="_hplink">Brag about your new lifestyle on Facebook.</a> 5. Accept friend request from DOJ official. 6. If you've made it this far, you don't need our help.