Taking a few extra vacation days around Christmas this year? Then we have some suggestions as to how you might want to spend them — and no, your family is definitely not invited.
This year, why not slip a few naughty items into each others' stockings along with the other gifts? It's the perfect way to give back to one another, and ladies, it could change your world.
"Women aren't having the sex they want," says sex expert Dr. Trina Read. "It astonishes me that we're inundated with sexual information, but we don't understand how our bodies work."
Dr. Read notes that a woman's vaginal canal is about six inches long, and most of the nerves are in the first third.
"When a woman becomes aroused," she explains, "it takes the area about 10 to 15 minutes to engorge with blood, and there's a much bigger surface than men, which is why every sex expert says 'foreplay, foreplay, foreplay'."
And the way to enjoy that foreplay for both of you? Toys — the best ones you can find. We've pulled together some options for every personality, because we know one size certainly doesn't fit all in this area, but adding some, er, stimulation can certainly help everyone out. As Dr. Read puts it, "research proves that women love sex just as much as men, but the quality of the sex needs to change."
So here are some choices for wrapping up and handing out this holiday season. Might we just recommend some discretion when it comes to where you open it?
For The Large Home Dweller
It's not everyone who has space for sex furniture, but for those who do, this ramp-like device from Love Bumper can come in handy. They have a variety of options, all of which impact the body in different ways. The site even has a handy guide as to which positions would most benefit from using the Tilt. Tilt Love Bumper, $89.
For Those Who Like Control
Why get a whip? It gives a sense of control in the bedroom, for those who like that, and using one that isn't too harsh can be a great wayt to start. Floggerella makes leather whips in a variety of colours from real leather, "where a gentle touch is desired." Come As You Are, $22.
For The Traveller
Really don't want to leave home without your vibrator — or get caught with it by the airport scanner? This clever little compact created by OhMiBod's Bedroom Kandi line by Real Housewife Kandi Burruss passes itself off as a makeup case, and no one should ever be the wiser. Oh, and it boasts textured reasons for extra pleasure. Make Me Over, $89, Babeland.
For The Patriot
There are actually quite a few Canadian sex toy companies, but Sinvention's speciality is bondage — you know, the stuff that's become so popular thanks to "50 Shades of Grey." Try out these high-quality, soft cuffs to test your own boundaries. Sinfully Soft Restraints, approximately $85, at these local retailers.
For The Long Distance Relationship
A sweet, naughty way to send your sweetheart a love note, these postcards have a few tawdry things going on in them, but look like they're simple little scenes (so the post office worker won't ever suspect). Naughty Little People Postcards, $9.95, Chronicle Books.
For The Gadget Lover
Bringing technology into the bedroom is half the fun of sex toys, but Lelo's Lyla 2 takes it to the next level with a remote controlled vibrator that has plenty of range — and lets both partners in on the fun (check out the cheesy, but explanatory video on this page). Lelo Lyla 2, $139.
For The Super Rich Guy (Or Gal)
Why yes, that is a 24K gold-plated vibrator you're looking at. Besides the obvious "because you can" answer, the advantages of this toy apparently include the ability to adapt to both hot and cold temperatures and five pre-programmed modes. But really, who's ever going to shell out to find that out? Inez, $15,000.
For The New Mom
Alright, it's not the sexiest gift (so perhaps it's something one sister gives to another?), but these pelvic weights from Je Joue can help with those Kegel exercises you always hear about, whether it's during pregnancy, after or just to have stronger orgasms in general. Be sure to check with your doctor about post-birth use for safety. Ami Vaginal Exerciser Set, The Pleasure Chest, $49.95.
For The Flexible
Yes, we've all heard about Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's sex swing, but for those who have thought to themselves, 'I bet that could create some pretty cool positions,' this could be the gift for you. We particularly love that it's so easy to up and take down, meaning no awkward moments when the in-laws come over.
Sportsheets Door Jam Sex Sling, $35.99 (on sale), pinkcherry.ca.
For The Beauty Bombshell
This one's a two-in-one treat — the Vanilla Craving Edible Shimmer Powder will give the lady (or gentleman) a lustrous glow, while also creating a bit of a body treat to lick off. Vanilla Craving Edible Shimmer Powder, $15.
For The Guy In Search Of Adventure
There's no delicate way to put this — this is a masturbator for men. The same way vibrators work for a woman's clitoris, this toy vibrates the head of a man's penis, apparently to great effect. Fun Factory Cobra Libre, $160, Come As You Are.
For The Stress Case
Yes, sex and stress can go hand in hand — but they shouldn't. So for those for whom massages are merely a break at the end of a long week, this tool can act as both a back soother and sensual foreplay. Contour M Ceramic Massage Stone, $25, JimmyJane.
For The People Who Love A Mess
Be honest — have you ever been able to think about sex and body paint without considering how gross your sheets would get? Cleanliness notwithstanding, it could be fun to throw caution to the wind one evening (or four) and get messy with this chocolate body fondue. And then, of course, lick it all off. Melt Chocolate Body Fondue, $16, Booty Parlour.
For The Researcher
Not everyone wants to find out about new positions through experimentation ... which is why books like "Sex Position Sequences" exist. Giving different options for each position to make it "even hotter," as well as step-by-step instructions. Sex Position Sequences, approximately $20, Amazon.ca.
For The Eco-Couple
Combining a rechargeable unit with eco-friendly materials (like phthalate-free medical grade silicone), as well as a gadget that works for both members of the couple on six different vibration modes, the We-Vibe 3 puts on a pretty good show. Oh, and did mention this Canadian-made product has recyclable packaging too? We-Vibe 3, $159.99.
For The Commitment-Phobe
For those only starting to dip their tiptoes into sex toys, one of the most well-known condom companies has created an option just for you. The disposable vibrator from Durex goes around the penis and can last for 20 minutes — not by any means as good as a more durable model, but a nice starter option. Durex Play Vibrations Vibrating Ring, $5, Well.ca.
For The Natural Experimenter
We know all the usual suspects — chocolate, oysters and alcohol — but testing out a new aphrodisiac drink could be just the nightcap the doctor ordered. This one contains damiana leaf, which is meant to stimulate the libido, along with almost all natural flavourings. My Aphrodisiaca, $5.99, drinkintuition.com.