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The Sexiest (And Unsexiest) Date Movies

09/03/2013 04:36 EDT
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Couple watching television on sofa

So you’ve decided to commit to two hours of darkness and privacy with your date. Congratulations! But don’t think that you’ve successfully locked down a breakfast date as well; the wrong movie can kill a mood quicker than the worst dinner conversation, and leave you alone in the glow of your TV. No matter the genre, from comedy, to romance, to thriller-horror, there are good and bad decisions. Here are some examples to seek out, and others to avoid. Follow our advice, and your movie date will be the first act of a night to remember.

The Sexiest (And Unsexiest) Date Movies

A Romantic movie to set the mood:

Love, Actually: Here’s the deal about romantic comedies: stay away from epic tales of lifelong love (see below). You’ll either set an unrealistic standard for yourself, or you’ll absolutely creep out your date (who was just looking to have fun until you brought marriage into it). This flick covers a whole range of relationships, moves from comedy to tragedy, and is romantic without being clingy; just like you.

And a Romantic movie to kill it:

The Notebook: So, what’s sexiest about this movie? Is it the revelation that ultimately everyone you love will die? Or maybe it’s the fact that no matter how good of a couple you end up being, you and your date will never be on the level of Gosling and McAdams? Save yourself the sadness and sense of inadequacy and stay away from this well-worn tearjerker.

A Comedy flick to get you laughing together:

Bowfinger: A joke is less funny every time you hear it, and the same goes for comedy movies. The trick is to find something fresh enough to surprise your date, but not so obscure that the humour won’t translate. Enter Bowfinger, thought to be one of the funniest comedies of its time, starring Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy in a hilarious send up of Hollywood phonies -- and Scientology, years before Tom Cruise went all weird on us. Give them something new to smile about, and treat yourself to a hidden gem of comedy.

Or a sad joke of a Comedy film:

Good Luck Chuck: Remember Dane Cook? During his brief heyday, he starred in this movie, about his power to let any woman who sleeps with him find her true love after dumping him. It’s as unfunny as it is unsexy, and you do not want to plant the idea of “dumping you and finding someone better” in your date’s head. Also, seriously: Dane Cook.

Get your blood pumping with a Horror movie:

The Cabin in the Woods: Horror films are a delicate balance: too scary, and no one wants to make out afterwards. Too cheesy, and you’ve got yourself a bad comedy. This movie succeeds because it’s as unpredictable as it is entertaining. Directed by Joss Whedon (of Avengers fame), every horror movie cliché is addressed and subverted, and you’re left with a movie that will get your date into your arms, but won’t leave them traumatized and shivering once the credits roll.

Feel your blood run cold with this Horror dud:

Slither: This is a quaint horror movie about a penis-shaped alien that impregnates a man, and proceeds to burrow itself inside the residents of a small town. It’s gory, gross, and ridiculous. It’s entertaining, but it’ll put the average viewer off sex for a while. On the same topic, avoid any and all horror movies with phallus-obsessed monsters (Alien, The Thing, and Prometheus are guilty offenders here).