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'Bachelor Canada' Season 2 Finale Part 2 Recap: Tim Picks His Bride

11/19/2014 08:50 EST | Updated 11/19/2014 08:59 EST
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*** WARNING: Contains spoilers. Do not read on unless you've seen "The Bachelor Canada" Season 2 finale, Part 2. Unless you like spoilers, then go right ahead! ***

So…that’s it, I guess?

I suppose I’m not really surprised. After all, if you read back to my first post, I called April from the beginning, right? I just a) thought I’d like her more or care more by now and b) didn’t expect her to have a full-blown meltdown about not being "ready" the day before she gets "engaged." Yes, I was right, but somehow, there’s little satisfaction in that fact.

Really? He picked April?

After being left last week wondering if his best forehead press/dimple combo was enough to save their relationship, she just decided to stay, totally get over all her fears and agree to marry the guy? Um, OK sure. I’m not saying I don’t believe it was really her decision. Because I do. I don’t think for a moment that it was the producers pressuring her or anything-- really I don’t -- because I think the crew on this show are a really hard-working, good-hearted bunch of people who really believe in our homegrown version of this madness. I just think she drank the Kool-Aid and the whole thing is ridiculous.

Again, maybe it goes back to the curse of the one-hour time slot, where we have limited time to really get to know the cast and truly see their relationships building, or maybe it’s just that I think April and Tim are a ridiculous match. After the debacle of April meeting Tim’s fam, the complete epic fail in the hotel room when she almost left ... Tim really meant it when he said that day in Tahiti was his last chance to see if it can work with April. This was his chance to ask the burning questions like: “Are you ready to get married?”, “How do you think I look in aviators?” and “Have you ever heard of hair product? Like ever?”

Of course, we barely got the chance to hear her answers and pray that Tim doesn’t fall off the tree limb he’s perched himself on to read her letter. Because shame, we only have one hour to get through a finale and an After the Final Rose (a THIRD of the time we get for American seasons.) Let’s just assume she answered the questions well enough...?

And then there’s his last date with Trish, who at this point I’m totally pulling for (as his GIRLFRIEND, not WIFE) because a) she’s fun, b) she makes him laugh, c) her rapport with him is like a trillion times less nervous than his with April and d) she doesn’t have a moustache. Despite their slightly awkward almost-embrace at the lock bridge (not feelin’ so special right now, are ya, Paris?), they share an intimate moment with her opening the lock wide, and him penetrating it with vigour. He finishes off their date with a kiss and the ultimate forehead press (I mean if that didn’t prove it’s love, what does?), which I think would send April running to the cops, and with that, he’s done and only the decision remains.

Then there's the obligatory visit from the jeweller -- this time Michael Hill, who’s not quite as refined as Neil Lane but sort of badass so it’s all good. I sort of thought the rings all looked similar, but I’m certainly not about to go hating on any diamonds. My heart pounded more watching Tim sit so close to an open body of water, with a three-carat ring dangling precariously, than it did when he tried to convince us that he’s found the love of his life. Then we move to the getting ready/product placement portion of the evening, where the gals put on their fancy dresses, April reveals her chipped nail polish and we all try to calm our nerves.

As soon as I saw Trish come out to Tim first, I thought “Oh cool, they’re doing things differently this time. The proposal first.” My feelings were further solidified with Tim’s total and utter glee at seeing her and telling her how amazing she looked. A guy about to break up with you should just not be this happy to see you -- right? But to my complete and utter shock he doesn’t pick her and before we know it, Trish is gone, April’s there and they’re swinging each other all over the beach, pledging their love to each other and ENGAGED. Sigh.

All I can picture in my head is the next year of their relationship as they try to figure it out. First she’ll stay in Wasaga and he’ll ride his motorcycle out to see her as often as he can. Then she’ll decide to take the big leap and move to TO where all of her insecurities will peak under the pressure of the big city. She’ll wait at his apartment for him in a sea of burgundy long-sleeved Henley T’s, and what starts out as a "So when will you be home?" convo here and there, will eventually lead to her breaking down, moving back to Wasaga and us spotting Tim as the newly available red carpet reporter du jour. I can only imagine what his parents were thinking when they were watching. “Oh…you picked…that one…how lovely…”

Yes, there were many, many moments this season where the most intimacy occurred between April and Tim. The shark-swimming and the … well … those other moments that only the two of them seemed to have, but at the end of the day, like so many "Bachelor" couples past, I’m just not ready to make this relationship official. Think about it -- on After the Final Rose, when Tim talks about meeting Trish he’s like, “Trish is everything I’m looking for in a woman; Bubbly, confident and fun.” Um, find what you’re lookin’ for, Tim?

I think Trish handled herself very well (and looked great to boot) in the hot seat with Tyler on After the Final Rose. Maybe the camera adds ten hots because she seemed to be obsessed with how hot Tim and April are as a couple. Tyler welcomed her back (back?) with open arms and before long we got to watch her cry on a tiny little screen as she relived the painful demise of her relationship with Tim. Good times, right?

I almost missed the (less than a) minute Tim spent on the couch with her (well, my wine isn’t going to refill itself, is it?) but I did see enough to know he worked really hard on his solemn face. Even Trish probably wanted to tell him to take a chill pill. Was I touched when Tim teared up talking about how he has fallen hopelessly in love? Of course. I’m not made of stone, people! And was it nice to see April almost make eye contact with her fiancée when she joined him in the hot seat? Sure was! And yet…

We kiss the season goodbye with the breaking news that there are wedding plans in the future (in some countries, that’s actually what ‘engaged’ means, you know) and wish Tim and April a wonderful life together, however short-lived it may be.

Happy "Bachelor" to all and to all a good night!

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