PARENTS

New Mom: What NOT To Say To Bottle-Feeding Mamas

05/04/2015 03:19 EDT | Updated 11/22/2016 04:54 EST

In my first few months as a parent, I ran the universal new-mom gauntlet of advice. Some was life-saving, some was unwanted and some was downright silly.

I was able to smile at the old lady who chased me down the street to tell me my baby wasn't dressed warmly enough (Nonna, she was!).

But the one that I still pick at like a scab was the woman who told a friend of mine that I could have breast fed if I'd tried harder. Oh, did I mention this is a woman I'd never met? And she was wrong.

I've always known that for some reasons that are nobody's beeswax that I likely wouldn't be able to breastfeed. But why did I let her remark bother me? Why does it bother me still? Because the subtle and not-at-all subtle message that many bottle-feeding moms get from the world is that they don't care as much about their babies as do breast-feeding moms. And that's just mean. And untrue.

So, listen up. No matter how much you're dying to share your opinion with a mom you see bottle-feeding, here are some things you must never, ever say.

What NOT to say to a bottle-feeding mama