"If you love your body and are more familiar with your body, your partner is more likely to follow with increased comforts levels," she tells The Huffington Post Canada. "Give your partner directions. Often we avoid sexual activities at which we don’t feel adept. Show your partner how you like it and offer positive feedback and you’ll be more likely to find yourself on the receiving end of oral."
For people who are new to oral sex, O’Reilly says some of the biggest concerns people have is that they are too shy to ask for feedback and directions, and they don't relax.
"Work your way toward their hot spots slowly, you don’t have to dive in for the kill right away," she says. "Pay attention to their peripheral areas like the pubic mound, inner thighs and lower abdomen. You’ll draw awareness to the area and create anticipation which can intensify orgasms once they arise."
Below, O’Reilly has come up with 15 steamy moves to change up your oral sex game. From the simple "Side Wrap" to taking your deep-throat game to the next level, here are some new moves to add to your roster.
How to: This one is best performed on a vulva because the penis doesn’t generally bend to accommodate this type of arrangement, says sexologist and author Jessica O’Reilly of Hot Sex Tips, Tricks, And Licks. 1. One partner lies on their back with their knees bent and feet flat on the mattress. 2. The other partner lies atop also on their back with their crotch in the bottom partner’s face. Top partner can lean back against the lower partner’s bent legs/thighs.
How to: "Though some people swear by it, many of my clients complain that the traditional 69 position can be frustrating and uncomfortable," O’Reilly says. 1. Switch it up a little by lying on your sides facing one another so you can give and receive pleasure simultaneously without having to support one another’s body weight.
How to: 1. One partner lies on their side with their top leg bent. 2. The other partner lies on their side facing into their partner’s crotch with a pillow to prop up their head. 3. The first partner lifts their bent leg over the lower partner to give them easier access.
How to: "Just because this position is pretty self-explanatory, it doesn’t mean it’s a bore," O’Reilly says. The Dog allows your partner to access your hot, pulsing nether-regions from both the front and back, and makes it easy for you to control the pressure and depth. 1. Get down on all fours (hands and knees). 2. Your partner can approach from behind or lie beneath you on their back.
How to: Are you more of a taker or a giver? "As a lover, it is imperative to know how to play both roles and the Gimme More position encourages you to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride," O’Reilly says. 1. Sit on your bum with your back resting against the wall or headboard. 2. Bend your knees and spread your legs open with your feet flat against the floor or mattress. 3. Enjoy the view or ask for a blindfold to heighten your touch, smell and sound sensations.
How to: Giving directions is about more than just spewing orders. "You can easily communicate your wants, needs and fantasies using your body language alone." 1. Sit upright in a chair with you legs spread apart. 2. Place a pillow at your feet and guide your kneeling partner's hands and mouth toward your sweet spots.
How to: Feeling lazy, but still want to get it on? Then this is the position for you. "It not only combines the excitement of a rear-entry approach, but allows you to experience new sensations and play with the vulnerability of being pleasured from behind," O’Reilly says. 1. Lie on your stomach with your hips propped up by a pillow. 2. If you’re a screamer and want to stay on good terms with your nosy (and jealous) neighbours, you may also want to put your face in a pillow to muffle some of your more explicit sounds.
How to: "This position forces you to take a more passive role," O’Reilly says. However, you can always get active with some sultry dirty talk while you’re lying there. 1. Lie on your back and spread your legs. Seriously. That’s it!
How to: This position is a slight variation of the Lie Back and Take It. 1. Simply lie on your back with your legs spread open and place a pillow under your hips to prop them up while holding onto your ankles with your hands. Feel free to bend your knees. This will allow easier access to your lower genitals, perineum and bum hole.
How to: Not only is this position sizzling hot in terms of the view for both parties, but it’s great for the “sitter” because s/he can control the amount of pressure, speed and/or penetration depth, O’Reilly says. "If you like to play with a little dominance and submission, the Sit on My Face position is a sexy way to receive oral sex while maintaining a dominant role." 1. Have one partner lie on their back and get comfortable with pillows to support the head, neck and knees as needed. 2. Have the other kneel over their head facing up toward the top of their head.
How to: "Standing up for sex not only varies your body’s interpretations of sexual pleasure, but makes for great opportunities for sex outside of the bedroom," O’Reilly says. 1. Stand with your feet hip-distance apart while your partner gets on their knees between your legs 2. Don't let those knees buckle!
How to: "Your bedroom should be a playground for erotic exploration and what playground would be complete without a Swing Set?" 1. Lie on your back with your legs hanging off the side of the bed. 2. If you’re feeling particularly chivalrous, place a pillow on the floor between your legs to protect your lover’s knees.
How to: Some sexual techniques are just better when you approach them from the side. "If you’re going down on a woman, it may be easier to play with the grooves of her sensitive labia and if you’re going down on a man, a sideways approach can give your tongue easy access to one of the most sensitive parts of his penis: the frenulum," O’Reilly says. 1. Have your partner lie on their back with a pillow propping up their hips. 2. Lie on your stomach at a 90 degree angle and bury your head in their crotch.
How to: If you’re into real estate, then the Reverse Rider has everything you could possibly dream of: a great view, a convenient location with easy-access and top value for your sex play dollar, O’Reilly says. "The best part about this position is that it maximizes pleasure for both of you to promote dual-orgasms." 1. One partner lies on their back while the other straddles over their chest facing toward their feet.
How to: "Deep-throating gets a lot of press in the world of porn and popular culture magazines, but the reality is that it really is more of a novelty than a necessity," she says. However, if you do want to get deeper during a blow job, elongating your neck may make you more comfortable. "With some practice, relaxation, confidence and a little help from the Giraffe position, taking him deep can become a sexual pastime you both enjoy." 1. Lie on your back with your head falling off the side of the bed. 2. The person with the penis stands on the floor in front of you while you place your hands against their thighs to control the depth of penetration.