Dear Tinder: we want to love you because you've successfully matched soulmates. But we also hate you because you let dudes like this abuse the swipe right option and troll women.
This week, a woman named Ashley Nicole took to Facebook to share the horrifying experience her best friend went through on the dating app. Sharing screenshots of the exchange between her friend and a guy who matched with her on Tinder, Ashley explained how her bestie was brutally fat-shamed.
"She connected with this pure hearted gentleman, Connor. He purposely connected with her just so he could tell her how overweight he thought she was, how she should not reach 'out of her league' to look for guys and how unattractive he thinks she is," Ashley wrote.
Among the horrible things the user said? "You are one fat mother f**ker damn," and "Did you think you could ever get a chance with me?" He also told the woman she should be "humble" and "stay in her league."
"THIS IS WHY so many people feel horrible about the way they feel, look or how they see themselves. THIS HUMAN BEING is one of the reasons why someone could start truly hating themselves," Ashley continued. "My best friend is one of the most beautiful people I've ever met, inside AND out, and she did not deserve any of those disgusting words."
Tinder says it is a space to "meet interesting people nearby" but the company doesn't warn women that they can sometimes meet men who will make them feel ashamed of their bodies. Connor abused the dating platform to tear a woman down, and we're sure he isn't the only one who does this.
Additional reporting from a local Charlotte television indicates that the name and image associated with the abusive account was lifted from another user, who told the station he was not responsible for incident.
“Somebody used my picture and my name to go out and create another Tinder account. My picture was depicted as this character who did all the body shaming even though it was not me,” the man explained.
Following the public outrage over the incident, a representative from Tinder reached out to The Huffington Post Canada to share that the company had banned the user as part of their "zero-tolerance policy for disrepectful behaviour."
“As we stated in our blog post earlier this month in response to those that behave like Connor, we have a zero tolerance policy on those that harass and disrespect fellow Tinder users. Now more than ever, we want to make sure that all of our users know that this type of behavior is not welcome – or allowed – on our app."
"I guess what we can take from this is that unfortunately, you can't control how awful another person can be to you. Or how much of a bully someone can be. All you can do is take control of how you react to it, and remind yourself that these words from a stranger mean nothing," Ashley said.
What should be noted here is how gracefully the young woman kept herself together, giving Connor a very mature response. She released the rest of the conversation to Elite Daily.
"You don't have the slightest clue about me or what I do," the young woman wrote back to the man. "Whatever you want to assume is your prerogative but for you to swipe right on me and just comment on my looks calling me fat and such isn't necessary. You telling me who I should or shouldn't be with based off of looks doesn't make a difference."
She also told Elite Daily, "Being called fat hurts, but there are worse things I could be called, and I know that I bring to the table a lot more than he will ever realize because I treat people kindly, with love and respect, regardless of their appearance."
Good on you, girl!
And as for Connor? Well, we just have one message for him:
UPDATE: March 27, 2017: This post has been updated to include a statement from Tinder.
UPDATE: June 6, 2017: It has also been updated to include local reporting from North Carolina that indicates the abusive account lifted its profile from another user.
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