"There's something about a mass-market Luxury Cruise that's unbearably sad," wrote David Foster Wallace in his essay "Shipping Out." Published in 1996 in Harper's Magazine, Foster Wallace's piece is filled with detail upon detail -- most of them describing banal and saccharine moments -- of life aboard mega-liners, vessels the author dubbed "floating wedding cakes."
For critics of the cruise industry, Foster Wallace articulated through satire and keen observation all the reasons we dislike massive ships that manage to take you somewhere and nowhere at the same time. The argument is that even if nothing goes wrong, cruises don't actually give you a travel experience so much as a contrived and shellacked slant on luxury and excess. If you could capture the modern cruise experience in a photograph, it would be of an overweight and aging model whose cellulose, frowns and wrinkles have been Photoshopped away, creating an attractive and marketable vision. When a cruise passenger is confronted with the reality that his or her purchase is fake, superficial and achingly blah, then Foster Wallace's words resonate. The sadness sinks in with the knowledge that your money would've been better spent on a multi-night stay at a luxury hotel exploring one of the world's great cities and attractions close to it, or on a riveting experience like an African safari, or being satiated by a culinary adventure where you get to taste fresh food and culture, rather than dishes prepared for the Western palate and sometimes reheated multiple times because it's difficult to obtain fresh supplies once a ship has set sail from its main port of call.
The best cruise ship experience I enjoyed had everything to do with the activities on land. During a cruise of the Galapagos Islands, I visited eight of Darwin's islands, trailing a naturalist who informed an intimate group of passengers about the delicate ecosystem on each. The boat was a small luxury yacht susceptible to the Pacific's mighty waves, which would assault the ship so hard it sent it into the kind of spastic motions you only want to encounter at an amusement park. I never got sick, but most others on board needed Dramamine or some other aid to keep their guts from spilling over. Still, the rocking ride was part of the experience, and not enough of an inconvenience to make the trip regrettable for anyone. Seeing the Galapagos is an event of a lifetime and one of the few reasons why I am glad cruises exist.
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I travelled with Ecoventura, which has also hosted Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and their kids. It is a superb company with a stellar record and as accommodating a staff as you will encounter.
Foster Wallace's trip was aboard Celebrity Cruises' m.v. Zenith, a 47,255-ton behemoth he nicknamed the Nadir. That name would also fit the Carnival Triumph, which crawled into an Alabama port over the weekend after being stuck powerless in the Gulf of Mexico following a fire on February 10. Its toilets overflowed, its passengers panicked, its record of mechanical troubles made headlines. After last year's sinking of the Costa Concordia off the coast of Tuscany and other cruise incidents in recent years, the industry is facing greater and greater criticism.
Like all forms of luxury travel, a cruise isn't inherently dangerous. Since 2005, there have been 48 fatalities aboard large cruise ships, and 32 of them occurred during the Costa Concordia disaster. Considering there have been more than 120-million cruise passengers during that timeframe, the fatality rate is low. But those of us who observe the travel industry point out that luxury hotels like the Ritz-Carlton and Kempinski have rarely, if ever, faced questions over safety and crime. That fact is relevant because the amount of money cruise passengers spend on a sailing often equates to a stay at a fine hotel.
CruiseMarketWatch.com says the average cruise passenger shells out $200.85 US per day while on board. That's lower than the average nightly rate at a five-star hotel in most North American cities, but on par with what a four-star hotel room would cost, with breakfast included. You can get deals on cruises just as you can on hotels. Believe it or not, you can book a four-night sailing on the Carnival Triumph starting at $479 (or $120 per day) for a May 16 departure to Cozumel, Mexico.
Something tells me, the cruise line won't be able to give those cabins away. These days, buyers need to be more aware than ever when making their cruise purchase. My advice when someone asks about going on a multi-day cruise aboard a mega-liner is always the same: Don't go. Find a better, more authentic and ultimately more rewarding travel adventure elsewhere. But if you do insist on going on a cruise, Vacay.ca has advice to save you money and potential aggravation.
Visit Vacay.ca for 5 Tips You Must Follow Before Booking a Cruise
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When we got to the bottom and went to the dock to take the water taxi back to our hut, using binoculars, we were admiring the flag we planted at the top of the mountain. A couple was behind us and asked what we were looking at. I pointed, and told him about this hike. He told me he and his new wife were given a cruise as their honeymoon gift, but they LOVE hiking. They've gone all over and hadn't stayed in one place long enough to go for a good walk. They hung their heads in dejection and I felt so bad for them. It was then I promised my wife we'd never go on a cruise.
She had no problem with that.
As a coworker once said, "cruise ships are like big petrie dishes."
Picture that the next time you book your cabin.
Excelsior!
- To each their own - yes the trip to Galapagos islands is more up my ally for travel but then there are others who can't handle rocky seas and who love seeing multiple locales while getting a familiar pampered room to come back to. Time is of the essence so one week to recharge your batteries on a cruise seems fantastic and you can truly say you can unplug from the world since you are on a ship (satellite internet/phone price/speed would deter me from even attempting contact back home)
- Safety first - even all inclusive resorts, you have to contend with theft and muggers when you venture into town. With any travel experience you should always be aware of your surroundings.
Does it compare to an African Safari, no, but that's like comparing playing football with shopping on Rodeo Drive.. They're two totally different things.
In addition to unlimited food, all day, every day, there are activities, seminars, gambling in the casino, and the ability to see a different place every day without unpacking.
Of course, the itinerary and cruise line make all the difference in the world but I would recommend a cruise to anyone.
Try it and if you don't like it, then don't do it again, but to each his/her own, and you'll never know the truth until you try it for yourself.
p.s. And for someone like David Foster Wallace to refer to cruisers as an "overweight and aging model whose cellulose, frowns and wrinkles have been Photoshopped away" is offensive. I work out 3-4 times per week, including when I'm on the cruise at the great fitness centres they have on board. People like that need to stop the 'holier than thou' attitude and stop generalising.
So for the writer, keep writing your adventure pieces and know that you cater your words to a small group and not the 3 million tourists who go on cruises.
I prefer the smaller cruise ships
I have never done Carnival because it has the reputation of being geared towards the "no frills/party crowd". I've been on Costa twice (prior to the Concordia incident). Cunard was my favorite. Kind of the polar opposite from Carnival.
Some people will find anything to complain about. I heard 1 woman claim her Cunard cruise was spoiled because the selection of rolls with dinner was not to her liking. First world problems.
Like most holidays, you do research before. Just because you're on a ship doesn't mean you let your guard down. You make sure YOU know where YOUR lifeboat is and how to get off the ship if need be.
Yes, crimes happen on board. In short, don't do things you wouldn't do on shore.
The great thing about cruising is that you unpack once, and see snippets of places that give you an idea if you want to go back to investigate further. I'm done with the Caribbean and Mexico, but can hardly wait to explore more of Turkey and the Galapagos Islands and Antartica are on my list.
There are different cruise lines and different ships. As a relatively experienced cruiser, it's my observation that the larger the ship and the more mass market the cruise line, the less fulfilling the cruise experience is going to be. Give up the skating rink and the rock climbing wall and multiple days at sea and the bottom of the barrel pricing "deal" and choose cruises with interesting itineraries and smaller passenger capacities. Some cruise lines are known for catering to 'travellers' rather than 'tourists'.
Then there's the notion that you'll get out of a cruise what you put in to it. Many people just view them as an an excuse to eat and drink and loaf around the pool. If those are the main goals of your vacation and you are not real interested in seeing the sights or getting to know the culture or learning new things, then you're just as well off going to an all inclusive resort in puerto plata or the mayan riviera.
But as we reported in our article Cruise Lines, FBI & Coast Guard Caught Altering Cruise Crime Law, the FBI and Coast Guard - acting to promote the cruise lines' interests - undercut the Congressional purpose of the new cruise crime law. The cruise lines and these two federal agencies changed the language of the law to eliminate most cruise ship crimes from being reported.
Originally all cruise ship crimes were required to be disclosed to the public. But with the altered language, cruise crimes not reported to the FBI, or those crimes reported to the FBI and still under investigation, do not need to be disclosed to the public.
http://www.cruiselawnews.com/2012/06/articles/fraud/cruise-ship-rapist-pleads-guilty-and-sentenced-to-jail-but-the-fbi-refuses-to-post-crime-data-for-public-viewing/
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I stayed in old Paris for $100/night once (off-season for the tourism season) and explored the city for the next few days, seeing things like the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Notre Dame cathedral etc. But I also saw things that weren't on tourism maps, things local Parisians mapped out for me. My experience was unique but it was also very affordable too, my hotel was beautiful, safe and huge. For approx. $500 U.S., I saw the city for 4 days the way it was meant to be seen and I don't regret it at all.
http://www.internationalcruisevictims.org/LatestMemberStories/Sexual_Assaults.html
Here is a snippet of one story:
During the dive, the instructor took me (alone) to a depth of approximately 60 feet. I did not want to go that deep. We stayed under water longer than I wanted and I became tired. While still under water, the dive instructor began to rub his hands over my body and molest me. He grabbed my buttocks and ran his hands up and down my legs. I shook my head “NO” and began to panic, but I tried to maintain my composure. I motioned to return to the surface. I grabbed the rope to get back up to the boat, trying to get away from him, but he grabbed me and began to pull me back down. I tried to fight him off, but he persisted to molest me. Then, he turned off the air on my tank! He pulled my top down (I was wearing a two-piece bathing suit) and bit my breast. I was terrified. At this point, we were about 30 feet under water. I feared that I would die, my body would never be found, and no one would know what happened to me.
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Paul Trotter, 34, pleaded guilty to a string of sexual assaults and taking, making and possessing indecent images of children, most of whom were under the age of 13 at the time.
The supervisor, who worked in the play zones, made films of himself abusing the children on three cruise ships, including Queen Mary 2 and its sister vessel Queen Elizabeth.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2132699/Cruise-ship-horror-Cunard-worker-admits-carrying-sex-attacks-13-boys-working-children-s-supervisor.html
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http://cruisevictims.homestead.com/icv_Updates/icv_jan24p.pdf
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