I'm new to Tinder and feeling like a true Tinderella. It took three weeks to convince myself there is nothing to be ashamed of and sign up. I'm single, not a leper. A friend of mine recently confessed he is Tindering and swiped past my roommate whilst swiping one afternoon. This was the moment he realized, with terror, that other people can see him as well. My roommate has no shame about Tinder-ing it up in a big way. She is looking for love and theorizes it comes down to the process of elimination -- there has got to be one guy on there for her.
In a world full of insecurities, I feel like I'm good at Tinder. I feel like I'm winning at something. I've always looked down on video gamers. It looked to me as a massive waste of time, spending hours gaining knowledge about phony worlds and missing out on real life. I've watched excessive video gaming ruin sex lives and relationships due to one partner becoming obsessed and unenthusiastic to engage in reality.
Tinder is shallow and depressing -- but still I find myself thinking about it, craving a good swiping before bed.
But I think I'm getting it now. Tinder is the new video game for single and non-monogamous adults and couples. Swiping is the game: two points for a match, five points for a super-like, eight points for an initial message, 15 points for meeting in real life and 25 for closing the deal Tinder is so well known for. I'm not sure what the accumulation of points gets you other than a venereal disease and a tainted spirit, but I'm treading lightly and hiding behind my phone for now.
I'm not ignorant to the obvious truth -- Tinder is shallow and depressing -- but still I find myself thinking about it, craving a good swiping before bed. There's a great big sea of men in Vancouver and I must go through every one and judge them accordingly.
Suddenly it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm staring into a small, bright screen in a dark room feeling powerful as ever. Tinder is similar to marry, f#$%, kill. Swiping right is f#$%, left is kill (because they're dead to you now) and marry if you don't end up banging on the initial "hang out," as apparently dates are so out these days.
So similar to addiction, I couldn't see the obvious answer until I hit a breaking point of guilt, shame and interference with my day to day life.
After a great deal of swiping and a descent collection of points, I've become overwhelmed by the sheer volume of messages coming in. I have guilt for not having the time or energy to reply to all of them. It finally occurred to me I could simply stop swiping and the messages would stop pouring in. So similar to addiction, I couldn't see the obvious answer until I hit a breaking point of guilt, shame and interference with my day to day life.
I've always been fond of pick-up lines, as such I encourage them. As long as the lines have humour and aren't straight up suggesting sexual activity or talking about my vagina, I think it's a good way to break the ice. When I deliver lines to guys on Tinder (and I do), if they don't reply with humour or at least amusement it tells me we likely won't mesh and they are possibly devoid of personality.
Due to boredom and excessive swiping, I've received way too many messages in one evening asking how my night is going, accompanied by a compliment about my eyes. How many times can I write how my night is going in one evening? Twice, maybe. Sadly, it does not matter how cute your dog is or how big a fish you caught, I'm bored already.
With advances in singledom such as Tinder, being single has never been more entertaining. I've decided to not waste the pretty and to fully enjoy being young, single and mostly free of societal and hormonal pressures. Still, I haven't quite decided if I'm part the solution or the problem. More research is needed.
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