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Take it From a Widow: Friendship and Grief Don't Always Mix

Posted: 11/27/2012 12:17 pm

I am a widow. I suffered a tragic loss and my life changed forever. I went from married to widowed in the blink of an eye. My kids went from two parents to one parent in the blink of an eye. I became a widow, a single mom and a woman that lost her way. I joined a sisterhood that no one wants to belong to. I became a statistic that no one wants to be a part of. I lost a huge part of my identity and struggled to face each day. I lost friends that I assumed would be there to help me as I struggled to regain my life.

Friendships, I learned, are not immune to grief. Despite what you may think, some friends will leave you when you need them the most. Perhaps they don't know what to say or how to act. Maybe they are afraid to deal with your sadness and grief. Maybe they're afraid that widowhood is contagious and will happen to them. I do not know the answers. All I know is that I am surprised at how friendships changed when I needed them the most.

I decided to ask some widowed friends about their friendships. Did friendships change after their spouses died? Did people treat them different now that they were widows?

I quickly learned that I am not alone. The other widows faced unique but also similar circumstances with their friends. Following are quotes from a couple widows that I spoke to:

"...my friend admitted a feeling of guilt after my hubby died."


"...my cleaning lady lost her husband and now she will not talk to me."

"I've stopped telling people that I am a widow."

"You really find out who your friends are and aren't. Family too. It is quite the eye opener. Breaks a lot of trust."

"You remind your friends of what can happen. Also you are technically single now and they see you are a threat to their husbands."

"It is hurtful how people disappear."

"I have a friend that is afraid that her life will end up like mine."

The following comment came from a woman that lost her son:

"I did lose friends. I was told they 'couldn't handle it' and did not know how to act around me."


After speaking to people in similar situations, I now realize that in many cases, friendship and grief do not mix. Whether you have been friends for six months or 30 years, you do not know how your friendship will hold up during a crisis. Some friends step up and the bond becomes unbreakable while other simply disappear from your life.

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  • Dalai Lama

    "It is worth remembering that the time of greatest gain in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of greatest difficulty."

  • Eleanor Roosevelt

    "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

  • Henry Rollins

    “Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength; move on.”

  • Jean de la Fontaine

    "Sadness flies away on the wings of time."

  • John Steinbeck

    "Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens. The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away."

  • Red Skelton

    "No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds."

  • Alexander Graham Bell

    "When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."

  • Lord Alfred Tennyson

    “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

  • Napoleon Hill

    "Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit."

  • Robert Frost

    "In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: It goes on."

  • Dolly Parton

    "If you're feeling low, don't despair. The sun has a sinking spell every night, but it comes back up every morning."

  • Anonymous

    "If someone you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it."

  • Len Santos

    "Letting go has never been easy, but holding on can be as difficult. Yet strength is measured not by holding on, but by letting go."

  • Oprah Winfrey

    "You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on."

  • Sufi Epigram

    "When the heart grieves over what is has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left."

  • Dr. Seuss

    "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

  • Byrd Baggett

    “Look at life through the windshield, not the rear view mirror.”

  • Kahlil Gibran

    "March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life's path."

  • Victoria Holt

    “Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”

  • Difficult Times

    <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Kate_Crisp"><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="http://graph.facebook.com/605537370/picture?type=square" /></a><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Kate_Crisp">Kate Crisp</a>:<br />"The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves." — Pema Chödrön (When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times)

  • William Shakespeare

    <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/oliverw"><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="http://s.huffpost.com/images/profile/user_placeholder.gif" /></a><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/oliverw">oliverw</a>:<br />Come what come may, time and the hour run through the roughest day!

  • Helping others

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    <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Greg_Popiel"><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="http://graph.facebook.com/100000351840270/picture?type=square" /></a><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Greg_Popiel">Greg Popiel</a>:<br />The heart heals with the anticipation of meeting another soul.

  • Pure Bliss

    <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Greg_Popiel"><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="http://graph.facebook.com/100000351840270/picture?type=square" /></a><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Greg_Popiel">Greg Popiel</a>:<br />Pure Bliss is living your dream: a life of purpose, contribution, service.

  • Bobby Warren

    <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Bobby_Warren"><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="http://graph.facebook.com/100001310458116/picture?type=square" /></a><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Bobby_Warren">Bobby Warren</a>:<br />Life isn't about consistency its about change

  • Bobby Warren

    <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Bobby_Warren"><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="http://graph.facebook.com/100001310458116/picture?type=square" /></a><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Bobby_Warren">Bobby Warren</a>:<br />Life isn't about consistency its about change

  • Bobby Warren

    <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Bobby_Warren"><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="http://graph.facebook.com/100001310458116/picture?type=square" /></a><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Bobby_Warren">Bobby Warren</a>:<br />Life isn't about consistency its about change

  • 2nd Lt. Jose Delfin Estenor Khe

    <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Alexis_Estenor"><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="http://graph.facebook.com/1037687601/picture?type=square" /></a><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Alexis_Estenor">Alexis Estenor</a>:<br />Soldier may fall, but Heroes will live forever.

 

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11:03 AM on 11/28/2012
My deepest condolences Ann. I too lost my husband not quite 2 years ago. Thankfully my few close friends stayed close by and were in retrospect total troopers, I'm so thankful. I did begin thinking about dating again, not easy for a young 60, but then when I really sunk into the thought I realized losing a loved partner is one thing, but losing oneself is much much worse. I can admit now I feel lost. Now I'm grappling with language that doesn't make me feel like 'baggage' or becoming a 'project' for someone. Tiny steps.
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Ann Bacciaglia
04:13 PM on 11/28/2012
Thank you Daisee and my deepest condolences to you as well. Your words about losing oneself really hit home for me. I am at that stage right now....trying to determine who I am and what my future is going to be. I hope you find happinesss again.
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tan2123
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11:01 PM on 11/27/2012
As a teen, a friend's younger brother had a sudden heart attack at the age of 13. I felt useless to help, I thought they were better off with the space to grieve. I thought my presence, and lack of real understanding would only be a bother. I imagined that if they needed me they would reach out and iniate communication.
I now see that I likely did more harm to our friendship then any good, but those weren't my intentions.
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Ann Bacciaglia
04:16 PM on 11/28/2012
A heart attack at 13? On my....such a tragedy. I am so sorry to hear about that. It is very common for people to be afraid to say the wrong thing.....or they don't know what to do. To be honest, before my husband died, I had to idea either.
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tan2123
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08:48 AM on 11/29/2012
Yes, in retrospect I very much regret keeping my distance. I have since lost people close to me and have come to realize that any gesture is better than none. I would recommend to others to reach out if they value their friendship, or at in any least care for the other person.
Sorry for you loss.
09:26 PM on 11/27/2012
It's not just grief that can cause friends to come and go. Any large event in your life can have that same impact. Weight loss or gain. Marriage. Children.
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Ann Bacciaglia
09:52 PM on 11/27/2012
Very true. There are different life events that can have an impact on our friendships.
04:39 PM on 11/27/2012
Well the sad truth is once you became a widow your' life changed drastically from your all your friends after a while you have nothing in common. And having a woman that emotionally needy around your' husband , in harsh truth, is not a good idea as men become attached to women in need. They like to be the hero & if your' marriage is going through a rough patch or has fissures (all of them do) then you leave your' family exposed to infidelity. Just saying.
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Douglas Sinclair
sufferin' succotash!
06:04 PM on 11/27/2012
Bingo. Happens with both sexes.
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Ann Bacciaglia
09:33 PM on 11/27/2012
I am a widow yet I am not emotionally needy and I would never have an affair with a friends husband.
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tan2123
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11:04 PM on 11/27/2012
I think that flying free is rally insecure, and her relationship can't be all that solid.
11:08 AM on 11/28/2012
You're a widow with children and you don't believe that makes you emotionally needy? Wow. You have a long way to go.

And we are all human, therefore susceptible to betrayal, the right (or wrong) circumstances makes all of us vulnerable to poor choices.

My comment is more about the rights and responsibilities of being married and having a family: they are our number one priority not our friends. We have to protect our marriages by not inviting trouble.
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agsterino
Less stuff . . . more meaning
03:46 PM on 11/27/2012
Perhaps "acquaintances" don't mix with grief, but true friends are there for you. If a "friend" deserts you, then it just turns out they were an acquaintance after all.

A friend is a person who knows you behaved like a complete fool on Tuesday night, but are still your friend on Wednesday.

The wise thing in life is to learn how to distinguish the two.

Friends are like leaves, they fall everywhere. TRUE friends are like diamonds, so precious and rare.
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Ann Bacciaglia
07:37 PM on 11/27/2012
very wise words....thank you.
02:57 PM on 11/27/2012
My friend's father died this spring (we're 29), and she's experienced this a lot. Many of her friends did not come to the funeral and she was really upset by that. Four people (including my sister and I) went.

She still talks about her dad and issues with her loss, and I'm always there to listen. I don't say "I know how you feel", because I don't, but I say "I understand" and I sit and I listen. It's not hard. And it means the world to her to have someone care about her.

If someone abandons a friend when death occurs, It's the most selfish and reprehensible thing you can do to abandon someone because you don't know how to act. You simply tell the person "I am sorry, and I am not sure how to handle this. I am here if you need me," and then give them a call now and again and say "How are you doing?" and let them talk or not talk if they so choose.

It's not hard, but some people are incapable of being decent human beings.

Also, when my mother went through multiple major surgeries, the same thing happened. Those who came to visit her and asked how she was doing remained friends, those who never visited and skirted around her health when they spoke to her, she has lost respect for and doesn't often speak to. Some abandoned her because apparently having multiple knee replacements is contagious.
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Ann Bacciaglia
07:40 PM on 11/27/2012
You sound like a wonderful friend. You are right...just being there for your friend speaks volumes. It is nice to know that people care and sometimes no words need to be spoken. A hug can express a thousand words.
12:19 PM on 11/28/2012
Hopefully you have a number of people willing to offer that hug wether you've asked for it or not.

I'm going out with that friend tonight, so I'll be thinking of you, as well. I hope that every day is a little brighter than the last.
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Douglas Sinclair
sufferin' succotash!
12:54 PM on 11/27/2012
"You remind your friends of what can happen. Also you are technically single now and they see you are a threat to their husbands."

That's part of it in how your relation can change with respect to other "couples friends" but I think also its because you're a reminder of they're loss of a friend and they're a reminder of your loss of a partner.

I drifted away from many previous "couples friends" for both reasons. Introducing a new partner down the road can be problematic too. It can take a very long time for other people and yourself to move on. Sometimes we don't. PTSD I think partly covers it.

Very good article.
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Ann Bacciaglia
02:04 PM on 11/27/2012
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. At this point, I can't even imagine dating again but I can certainly understand how introducing a new partner cound be problematic.
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Douglas Sinclair
sufferin' succotash!
05:20 PM on 11/27/2012
Its true what they say about dating again too soon. All of it.
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Douglas Sinclair
sufferin' succotash!
06:11 PM on 11/27/2012
P. S. Note to friends of the bereaved: Don't try to set them up with someone who "would be just perfect" too blatantly. Introducing people at larger mixers though is great...most times.
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EagleFliesInSky
Artist at work.
12:49 PM on 11/27/2012
"The following comment came from a woman that lost her son:
"I did lose friends. I was told they 'couldn't handle it' and did not know how to act around me.""

Found the same. It was as though he had never existed. They never asked how I was doing, or if I wanted to talk, nothing. Now, after 4 years, I will bring up his name in conversations when appropriate. Asked how many sons I have, I always include the darling boy I lost and also say that he passed away.

It's taught me something. To always ask others how they are contending with their grief.
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Ann Bacciaglia
02:09 PM on 11/27/2012
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I am glad to hear that you include him in your conversations and life. I can not imagine the pain of losing a child. Hugs to you.
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EagleFliesInSky
Artist at work.
10:30 AM on 11/28/2012
Thank you, Ann.
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agsterino
Less stuff . . . more meaning
03:50 PM on 11/27/2012
And remember that no two people handle their grief the same way, so never judge anyone as to how they "should".
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Ann Bacciaglia
07:41 PM on 11/27/2012
Exactly! We all grieve differently....there is no right or wrong.
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EagleFliesInSky
Artist at work.
10:29 AM on 11/28/2012
The word "should" never entered my mind. Nor do I judge. That was a lesson also. I can only remind others to ask, at the very least. If it's terribly uncomfortable for others, I understand that as well.
12:09 PM on 11/27/2012
When my mother passed away, a friend who had recently lost her dad said 'be prepared. death rewrites your address book.' and she was SO right. But in hindsight, it's not a bad thing. At the time devastating. But now, I know the people who are with me are the real deal.
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Ann Bacciaglia
02:07 PM on 11/27/2012
Thank you for sharing Sara. What your friend said is so true....death does rewrite your address book.