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Anna Wallner

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Hey Dudes, Pull Up Your Pants

Posted: 03/18/2013 3:12 pm

Kristina and I took a break from the Vancouver rain recently and turned a meeting in LA into an excuse for a full weekend in the sun, complete with other gal pals, shopping, chardonnay and pool time. Fun!

Of course we decided in advance which restaurants to hit and like many women who care about fashion, I put some thought into what to wear to the various hot spots, not to mention my shopping and pool outfits. My wardrobe weaknesses are shoes and dresses and I spend more then I care to admit on both, so I don't ever want to miss an opportunity to wear a favourite frock or sky-high heels to a swish dinner.

After a day of serious shopping, we all raced back to our hotel to hit the showers. There were blow dryers, flat, curling and clothing irons going all at once. Eyelashes were groomed, outfits debated, make up applied and nails quickly painted before rushing out the door. A serious effort was put in by all.

And when seated at the five-star establishment where we were dining, I looked around at all the other women in the room who had clearly made a similar effort. Nice work, ladies.

And then my eyes wandered to the boys, I mean men, in the room.

There were sweatshirts everywhere. Too-long pants sitting below the butt crack (really? are we still doing that?), scuffed sneakers, and yes, baseball caps. Some even turned off-centre. (I have never understood this look. To me it screams, "Helloooo I'm a dumb dumb." Why would one want to advertise that?)

Benicio del Toro was at the next table, big poofy hair sticking out from under a baseball cap. He looked like an old man who really really doesn't want to grow up.

And shopping along Robertson? There's a guy barking into his cell phone wearing a too-tight, soiled t-shirt and shuffling along in flip flops -- no pedicure there -- next to his perfectly put-together better half.

Now, I know men's fashion in L.A. is decidedly relaxed, but things have gone too far. There is a difference between casually chic and sloth-like. Buy a belt. And an iron. Wear clothes that fit. Buy entire outfits at a time if thinking is too hard for you. Keep a collection of new white T-shirts.

And take off that f-ing baseball hat!

If you plan on going shopping (and you should), remember that stripes and bold colours are in for spring, navy looks good on everyone, and you can never have too many nice socks.

We all want our fashion to look effortless. But that takes a lot of work! And if you insist on doing none, then you should pay for dinner; your honey probably spent all her money on shoes. I know I did.

This post originally appeared on AnnaAndKristina.com.

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  • Oversized suits

    The average American guy is wearing a suit that is one or two sizes too big. Larger clothes do not make you look more muscular or powerful, they make you look smaller and sloppier. .

  • Square-toed dress shoes

    I believe in the philosophy "never say never," but square-toed dress shoes never look flattering. Your feet are not square, so your shoes shouldn't be either.

  • Tie too short or too long

    The tip of your tie should just touch the top of your trousers. Anything else looks sloppy and shows a lack of attention to detail.

  • Fake distressed/Overly embellished jeans

    A man's jeans should be simple, unembelished and natural looking. Avoid cheesy fake distressing, outlandish back pocket details, and, of course, anything with rhinestones. .

  • Sloppy trouser break

    Nothing makes a pair of trousers look sloppier than an excessive amount of fabric spilling over the shoes. Have your pants tailored with a light break, hitting about halfway down the back of your shoes. .

  • Ironic T-Shirts

    We get it: you're a funny guy. You don't need to announce it to the world with an obnoxious "That's what she said" T-shirt.

  • Hybrid shoes

    There are loafers and there are sneakers, each great for certain occasions. Cross-breed them, however, and you have a shoe that isn't appropriate for anything. .

  • Office shirts worn untucked for a night out

    The ultimate "bro" look that you see at every college bar: a business shirt worn untucked with jeans. It either says "I don't know" or "I don't care." Neither are going to help you at the bar.

  • Tie bar wider than tie

    A tie bar should be the same width as the tie it's fastening. Slightly narrower is okay, but never wider. As far as vertical placement, it should be worn around the sternum, just below the chest muscles.

  • Overstuffed wallets

    Lose the unsightly bulge in your pocket. Streamline your look with a slim card case that holds a few bills, a credit card and a couple forms of ID. You definitely don't need all those old receipts and business cards from people you don't remember.


 

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Kristina and I took a break from the Vancouver rain recently and turned a meeting in LA into an excuse for a full weekend in the sun, complete with other gal pals, shopping, chardonnay and pool time. ...
Kristina and I took a break from the Vancouver rain recently and turned a meeting in LA into an excuse for a full weekend in the sun, complete with other gal pals, shopping, chardonnay and pool time. ...
 
 
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littlebrowngirl
Brevity is the soul of wit - Shakespeare
01:19 AM on 03/24/2013
Pull the pants up or don't wear pants at all. If your pants are below your rump, they are just leggings.
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10:20 AM on 03/21/2013
I see a baseball hat, I see 50 lower I.Q. points except maybe outside on a sunny day. Oh, and guys - hats are not supposed to be worn in restaurants at all.

I used to see men wearing sweats everywhere in Calgary - another clue, fellows - sweats are for home and the gym only. If you have to walk or take a bus to the gym, wear your jeans and change when you get there.
04:05 PM on 03/20/2013
I take great pride in lookin good so I agree to an extent. Men AND women have been slacking (yoga pants & Uggs everywhere!).
This article, however, sounds like a couple gals playing dress up in LA and being disappointed by their idea of Cali glamor not being lived up to. Benicio del Toro in a ball cap probably better than the frosted tipped bobble heads in distressed boot cut jeans and blazers I see all over Vancouver though.
12:58 PM on 03/20/2013
I wish Mrs. Wallner had better things to do than to gossip about Benicio's wardrobe. Of course, we all know how important it is to project the right image when working in the medias, or is it? Perhaps Benicio and most other men living in L.A. believe they are worth more than the clothes they wear. Reading this article, I could sense the pride Mrs. Wallner feels talking about her high heels, but fashion is something very personal and I personally believe that high heels are better left to cheesy porn chicks.
Practicality and comfort are more important to some of us.
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12:13 PM on 03/20/2013
There is a point to this article, only you have to wade through some awfully shallow character in every direction to get there.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
jabrwock
I'd ask for a demonstration, but my power of disbe
11:34 AM on 03/20/2013
One is there to eat. One is there to be noticed.

Could the slobs take a minute to tidy up? Absolutely. Does every meal out need hours of preparation? Sorry, no.
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10:30 AM on 03/21/2013
Did anybody say 'hours of preparation' are necessary?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
kmom4kids
10:35 PM on 03/19/2013
Thankyou so much for that article. I was beginning to think it was just me. I looked around the restaurant the other day &'noticed the same sloppy look. I asked my husband since when did guys eat with their baseball hats on. Guess they are too lazy to even comb their hair let alone get dressed decently. Maybe they just can't admit that they should act their age & like adults. Sad.
12:31 PM on 03/20/2013
As a kid, that was a big no-no. Nowadays, it seems that, like good manners, proper etiquette went out the window. It's sad.
07:42 PM on 03/19/2013
Thank you! I think men should look a little differently from going to the car wash than when going to a nice dinner. This doesn't mean you have to spend more than you can to look good. It doesn't mean 'women want to change men into women'. It isn't 'male bashing' for a woman to want to be on a date with a man who won't be confused with a homeless guy. It doesn't make a woman shallow to say men should look like they have maybe showered this week.

Is it really too much for a woman to ask that in addition to all the wonderful things that make you a great man, to brush your hair too? Or maybe leave the ball cap for your buddies?
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09:15 PM on 03/19/2013
You know why men get to dress how they like on the date? Because they foot the bill 90% of the time.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
JScott
John Galt's last name is McGuffin-Smithee
06:07 PM on 03/19/2013
I don't understand the misfit pants either, probably because as a kid clothes didn't fit right a lotta the time and mom always calling me droopy drawers, then having to wear suspenders.
06:22 PM on 03/20/2013
we all share the same mother
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
etsi
love life & life will love you back
04:36 PM on 03/19/2013
guys.....wearing your pants 'below' your butt is not a style-it is an invitation.

ps wearing your ball cap on backwards or sideways is only cute on 4 year olds.
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01:44 PM on 03/19/2013
I thought this was going to be humour. It started like satire. Then it just became a vanity piece. Your website is cool but I still can't figure out what you're on about. There seems to be less substance than presentation. Keep it up though, the format has promise. Name dropping is sort of, well gauche. "One notable Hollywood star" is way classier than deciding to Joan Rivers obscurely, especially if you don't context it -- power lunch, shake and grab, sign off, script pass, lunch with kids, part owner -- for your readers.
10:36 AM on 03/19/2013
this entire post makes me sad... albeit not for the same reasons as Anna Wallner.

Are you trying to turn men into women? so we can all buy in to the beauty industry and make the economy grow?

Look , ask around to men you trust what they like more a girl whol looks ''fabulous'' but takes an hour and a half of preparation before going out or the same girl who looks ok but clean and can be ready to go in 10 minutes... 100% of them will tell you its the second one.

Makeup, hair , shoes , matchon handbags and earings , eyelashes, eyeshadow , foundation and whatnot , time to realise that all that is superfluous and only encourage people in general to live in a superficial world where look counts for more than content. This is what you want?

i repeat this whole article makes me sad... because it appears some people will never learn that looks don't matter in the long run and that the opinion of strangers is worth less than nothing...the author may be a good person i don'T know her but the views expressed here are whats wrong with society.
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lakat
Haiti lives.
02:33 PM on 03/19/2013
Neatness and cleanliness DO mean something. It's not so much with looks but how you carry yourself. If you don't care about your appearance it really says something about you. These guys who show up at a 5 star restaurant looking like a bum have scads of money and know they can get away with whatever they do or look like. I remember the good old days when studios wouldn't let one of their stars go out in public without being well groomed, women in make-up, hair coiffed and dressed appropriately. They also had to act like ladies and gentlemen. I miss that. They were bigger than life and now they are just like us only famous and rich. Whatever.
07:51 AM on 03/20/2013
If you don't care about your appearance maybe its because you care about other things who are more important... i think were on to something here...

you can be clean and not be dressed to impress.

In my experience people who look casual and lets say sloppy are much more fun to be around and easy going than the stiffs who look like they could be on the cover of GQ, because for some reason fashionistas like the auhtor and their male counterparts usually come with attitude surgically grafted on.
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carledgar
I thought I heard Buddy Bolden say
08:04 PM on 03/19/2013
Nope! Just suggesting that men be neat and clean. It doesn't take any effort . . . just a little self-respect and respect for one's partner
07:46 AM on 03/20/2013
What the author suggests goes much beyond neat and clean.
I repeat if you want to spend a fortune on clothes and hair and shoes and makeup , if you want to dress to impress, then go for it but don't expect others to fall for your stupid scheme and live in your superficial world.

You can be clean and neat and not wear a suit and tie and not look like the cover of a magazine.
10:34 AM on 03/19/2013
"After a day of serious shopping..." This is probably not a line that many men would ever write. And perhaps this is why we men have few decent clothes to wear. But seriously, why don't fine restaurants have dress codes anymore?
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01:19 PM on 03/19/2013
Perhaps the "five star" is awarded for reasons other than the ambiance, clientele, and fare. Perhaps it is just trendy and attracts power lunches on the spur of the moment. Don't know, don't care. What I am impressed to all get out with are people who don't dress to impress, either themselves or others, and the vast numbers of people who are beginning to recognize that a display of wealth is about as tacky as it gets. Demanding that others comply with your sense of dress at any given moment is fantastic if you happen to be supreme overlord of the universe, otherwise a little self-centered.
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colpy
09:51 AM on 03/19/2013
Here's a bulletin for you:

WE DON'T CARE!!!!

Thank God.
03:42 PM on 03/19/2013
Hey, dude, appreciate you speaking on my behalf, but you're wrong, I care. I must be the one you missed asking, sorry to disprove your response. And there is nothing wrong or unmanly about taking the slightest bit of pride in your appearance. Not everyone wants to look like a little kid.
01:27 PM on 03/20/2013
And not everyone wants to be a Mr. GQ either.
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Cael
09:38 AM on 03/19/2013
How about you stop the male bashing and stop trying to change males. Females hate when males try to change them, so enough.