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Danko Jones

Musician

Danko Jones sings and plays guitar for his eponymously named band. Conversely, he also dabbles as a music journalist writing for Close-Up Magazine, Rock Zone Magazine and Burning Guitars.

The Weird Stuff I Got Myself For Christmas: Part 3

During the holidays, my face hurts. It hurts from wearing a fake permasmile around family and friends so much that it takes about a week or so to get even the slightest facial sensation back. My face...
01/21/2015 12:15 EST
Danko Jones

I Never Thought I'd Be Lucky Enough To Meet Robin Williams Twice

We passed each other and stupefied, I could only muster a "Hello, Mr. Williams" to which he politely nodded. When I played that moment over and over in my head, I wished it could've played out differently. I realized what I should've said but thought I'd never get a second chance. I got my second chance.
08/12/2014 01:06 EDT
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Don't Be Precious About Your Vinyl Collection

I've heard the argument that the vinyl revival is the collective urge to return to the "organic" and to get back to what's "real." Vinyl records are made up of polyvinyl chloride which is the third most used plastic in the world. That doesn't sound too "organic" to me. If that isn't enough, the damn thing gets shrink-wrapped with, you guessed it, more plastic. It's like keeping an unpeeled banana in a ziplock bag.
05/02/2014 08:44 EDT
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The Day I Met Johnny Cash (and Sold Him a Nirvana Record)

Watching Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson perform "The Highwayman" during the Grammys last week, signature song of their country supergroup, The Highwaymen, conjured up the one lone memory I have of the band when I met fellow Highwayman, Johnny Cash, and sold him a Nirvana record.
02/04/2014 04:29 EST
Martin Philbey via Getty Images

In This World of Perishable Rap, 16 Songs That Will Never Expire

I can't turn anywhere without rap music blaring into my ears. Before hip hop got elected into popular taste to a level where it's now synonymous with pop-culture, there was an era that preceded this current one that might be doomed to obscurity. Here's hoping rap can finally realize, during its unwavering drive to be "fresh," it had long created music without an expiry date.
01/20/2014 12:01 EST
shutterstock

The Weird Stuff I Got Myself For Christmas Part 2

Although Christmas is supposed to be a time for giving and spreading good cheer, it's also the yearly chance to find out just how little family and friends know you by the worthless gifts you get. Sometimes, carelessly chosen presents are enough to add additional layers of outstanding familial issues that are already as thick and leathery as leftover roast beef on Boxing Day.
01/06/2014 12:49 EST
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Honestly, I'm a Little Bummed KISS Got in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

Look, Paul, Gene, Peter, Ace, Bruce, Vinnie, Mark, Tommy and the two Erics, I'm glad you guys are getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Congratulations, fellows. You all deserve it. I know you need to do this and I know, regardless of its staff, the hall induction is most esteemed but who am I gonna champion as my outsider/popular band now?
12/20/2013 12:13 EST
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Soup Will Never Be An Entree -- Period

I've never been a humongous soup fan. Not once did I ever come home from school salivating waiting for my mom to serve up some lip-smacking soup. The idea that soup can still get away with being served as an entree baffles me.
12/02/2013 12:35 EST
Danko Jones

Rob Ford Memes: Sometimes All We Can Do Is Laugh

Out here on the road, we're getting laughed at for being Torontonians. Thanks, Rob Ford. There's nothing else to do but dive in with these jesters and join them so with all the downtime that is afforded to us during the day while on tour I've managed to assemble a few homemade memes at Rob Ford's expense.
11/15/2013 12:24 EST
Huffington Post

Don't Support This Heavy Metal Racist

Kristian "Varg" Vikernes, lone member of the band Burzum, is the most notorious figure in heavy metal. In 1994 he was sentenced to 21 years in prison for murder and his participation in the burning of several Norwegian churches. Every day, kids sport Burzum shirts that are quietly sold at head-shops and rock booths all over the world, without so much as a raised eyebrow for wearing something so affiliated with racial hatred.
11/13/2013 05:51 EST
Danko Jones

A Lifetime Of Fandom For Death Angel

Death Angel is one of my favourite bands of all-time. To this day, the band have an overarching presence in my life. Whenever I sit down to write one of these Huff Post columns or pick up my guitar to write a rock riff, my autographed Death Angel "Frolic" band promo photo hangs framed above my work desk at home as motivation.
10/28/2013 12:25 EDT
Getty Images

Stop Singing "Hallelujah" So My Ears Can Stop Bleeding

Everyone from Bon Jovi, Axel Rudi Pell, Bono, Tangerine Dream, Willie Nelson, K.D. Lang to even Adam Sandler have performed and/or recorded it. There are hundreds more who've taken their stab at it and it always sucks balls to me. Slowly, as each new take on "Hallelujah" has hit my ears, my initial fondness for the song has devolved into absolute loathing.
10/15/2013 05:54 EDT
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Want to Win an Award? Become a Canadian Musician

How do you procure distinctions if you only have a modicum of talent? Join the Canadian music biz. I honestly can't tell you the exact number of distinct music award ceremonies there are in Canada because I lost count at 33. I've watched almost every person I know snag one. It's almost like when each kid gets a prize at a children's birthday party.
09/30/2013 05:43 EDT
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52 Weeks of Blog Comments

When you put yourself out in the public eye, you have to be ready to take a few slaps across the face. I believe this kind of public flogging is the well-deserved balance needed that allows cretins, such as I, who play power chords for a living, to sometimes be given adulation beyond our station. However, sometimes I want to slap back. This is one of those times.
09/16/2013 06:21 EDT

Crowning The King Of Rock N' Roll

Beyond the music itself, Rock N' Roll has always stood for freedom to me. Its lead characters embody this freedom the music only attempts to describe. So huge are these personalities that often one name is all they need. And now on the eve of his long-awaited debut solo album, simply titled "Dregen", the man stands poised, ready to assume his rightful dominion.
09/10/2013 09:20 EDT
Tony Barson/FilmMagic

I'm Sick of Seeing Your Disgusting Feet

Why is it that the people who need a pedicure the most are the ones flaunting their ghastly hooves? Clean your feet before you decide to show them to the world in a pair of sandals, dammit! Despite what you might think, there's a good chance you have feet only a mother could love.
08/31/2013 03:51 EDT
Danko Jones

Does a Band Rock Harder With Makeup, Or Without?

The first time I heard Eddie Van Halen I finally relented and gave in to the notion that you didn't need to wear make-up, fancy clothes or assume some otherworldly alter ego to be taken seriously as a band. As the years passed, most bands, including Kiss, ceded to the idea of dressing down to give more credence to the music over spectacle and let it do the talking.
08/16/2013 05:21 EDT
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How Dare You Call Jagger Too Old to Rock

I was appalled after reading Andrew Romano's column for The Daily Beast titled, "Is Mick Jagger Too Old To Rock?" In it Romano implores Jagger to retire. It's all disgustingly ageist. Forget for a second that he's "Sir Mick Jagger", iconic rock n' roller, and what you're left with is some writer telling an elder to "know his place" and stay there.
08/02/2013 08:53 EDT
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I've Always Been a Rocker

I never had much success holding on to mementos. My mom was anything but a hoarder and I was always encouraged to purge. But there is one relic from my childhood that I refused to part with that substantiates all claims that I've been a rocker my whole life. I was never NOT a rocker and this proves it.
07/26/2013 08:29 EDT
Alamy

I Don't Care That It's Your Birthday

Having to slavishly work towards making somebody else feel special 364 days a year is drudgery. Birthdays are making all our lives a living hell. If we did away with the obligatory birthday rigmarole in favour of the morale of the greater good, I bet we'd all live longer and consequently avoid even more birthday wishes because of it!
07/19/2013 08:02 EDT