"Always a bridesmaid and never a bride, hey?" I was on the receiving end of that a couple times. Despite being in law school, despite having lots of friends, despite having travelled and by all accounts being pretty damn happy with life, the insinuation was that I wasn't successful because I wasn't married.
These kinds of scenarios are more common than you think. I see them all the time in practice: an "innocent" opposite-sex friendship on the part of one spouse begins to drive a wedge between a married couple. Yet instead of prioritizing the marriage and ending the friendship, the married partner defends their friend.
It all began as an occasional after-hours and work-related text from one of her husband's female co-workers. Soon, the texts began to come more frequently, often late at night. Then she found several naked pictures that the female co-worker had sent to him.
I often hear people say that their partner's affair or request for separation came "out of the blue" and that they had "no clue" their partner was that unhappy. Yet when the situation stabilizes a bit and they're able to look back with the clarity of hindsight, they usually admit that there were little cracks beginning to show.
When it comes to marriage, emotional and sexual intimacy are two sides of the same coin. In successful marriages, we see a pretty decent balance. We see a couple who is going through life as best friends, and who just happen to think the other is pretty damn hot. Sex is a "use it or lose it" kind of thing.
If your husband is having a destructive midlife crisis, I encourage you to see the situation more objectively. You need to see it for the self-focused power play it can be. Because when one spouse's "crisis" creates a crisis in the life of the other spouse, or in the marriage, there comes a point when you need to wise up.
Finding out that your husband or wife has been unfaithful isn't just a time of profound heartbreak and shock, it's also a time of intense confusion. There are so many unanswered questions and so many overwhelming emotions. Unfortunately, not all unfaithful partners will react with honesty, humility or empathy when their betrayal is discovered.
Your partner wants you to stop checking your Facebook feed at the movie theatre. To stop getting that glazed-over look in your eye, the one you get when you're in the middle of an actual face-to-face conversation, but you feel that itch to check your phone. Your partner really, really wants you to stop ignoring them or half-listening as you check your emails for the gazillionth time that day. Your partner wants you to stop texting your "friend" while you're lying in the privacy of your bed.
You don't need to fix your problems because Christmas is coming. You need to fix them because they're chipping away at your happiness and well-being, and they're probably chipping away at the happiness and well-being of your kids, too.
Many people feel that marriage counselling is ineffective, yet it remains the prevailing approach to relationship troubles, even in the majority of situations where psychological problems are not present. It's time to think outside the box.
Got a minute? Good. Let's see how you can start to improve the dynamics in your marriage right now. It's like this: There are sixty seconds in your day that are absolutely pivotal in terms of how you and your spouse will relate to each other for the entire day and night. Ready?
If you don't know who the other woman or man is, you may be painfully curious --iIs the other person more attractive than me? What did my partner see in him or her? You may think that confronting them will make them back off or that they might tell you certain details of the affair that your spouse will not reveal. But it's never that simple.
When does a wife become an Alpha Parent? When they become the person who hovers over her husband when he changes the baby's diaper or prepares a meal, just waiting for him to do something wrong -- or rather, something different than she does -- so that she can correct him, criticize him or just take over with an exasperated, "Oh, I'll do it."
Too often, an unfaithful spouse whose affair has been discovered will continue to see and/or contact their affair partner. Sometimes this is done in secret. They may assure their spouse that they've ended the affair; however, their lack of transparency and untrustworthy behaviour indicates otherwise.
The truth is, many opposite-sex friendships are sustained because of a simmering attraction between two people. If circumstances were different, they could easily be sexual partners. And they know it. This underlying current of attraction makes talking, texting and spending time together as "just friends" all the more exciting. It has an erotic edge to it.
At first glance, you might think that "following your heart" and "trusting your gut" are similar. They're both about listening to your intuition, right? It depends. I think our heart -- and, by that, I mean our desires and hopes -- can definitely help us become more intuitive and make an intuitive decision or choice.
Have your formerly grand romantic efforts dwindled to a half-hearted, "So, you wanna?" Well, today is your -- and your partner's -- lucky day. Here are eight easy ways to class-up a sex life that has fallen out of fashion.
Ah, we all love a fresh start, don't we? But between charging up that new Fitbit and vowing to stay on budget, be sure to make a few promises to your sweetheart. Here are eight relationship resolutions every couple should make.