2013-05-22T10:18:55-04:00 Alexis Sciuk http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/author/index.php?author=alexis-sciuk Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Alexis Sciuk Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2170203 2012-11-21T08:26:44-05:00 2013-01-21T05:12:01-05:00

Alexis Sciuk http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alexis-sciuk/
The details of the property didn't matter as much as having my name on the deed. For me this was the ultimate prize. I read books and magazines on the topic of mortgage rates and I followed the newest trends in design.

My plan was to live with my parents, work two jobs and save for a down-payment. In my free time I walked through open houses and combed MLS listings.

My future vision included hosting dinner parties, choosing paint colours and imagining a master ensuite. I was ready to be an adult. After years of extra shifts, non-existent weekends and few vacations, I found my dream home when I was 25-- a small townhouse in a community well east of Toronto.

I had that fabulous dinner party and chose designer colours but didn't bank on the major roof repair and increasing property taxes. My dream quickly met reality.

In between watching my savings dwindle and researching night courses in plumbing, sometimes I would ask myself, what was I thinking? I could free up this money to travel the world, get another degree or rent in the big city. After all, most of my friends were world travelers living interesting lives, was my decision the right one?

I spent five years in that house, and in a way, I grew into my adult self there. I learned slowly how to manage my finances, how to be accountable and self-sufficient. Every now and again I would complain about the sacrifices I had to make, such as living further away from my friends and commuting longer hours to work, but I never really regretted my decision.

About a year ago I decided to sell my townhouse and move to the city. I had built up some equity and could start my search for the elusive Toronto condo. I would return home on weekends discouraged by my real estate options. Condos were so small and so much money!

After multiple failed bids I took a step back to re-evaluate. Eventually, I landed in the Toronto real estate market with a condo that fit my needs. Despite a bidding war, I managed to go just above my budget.

In order to maximize the profit on my townhouse, I decided to sell privately. Even though I had a good friend who is a realtor (sorry Mike). With a "For Sale" sign from Staples and a balloon bouquet, Mom and I held an open house. Within four days I had an offer on the table and a good lawyer to hold my hand through the close. The real estate savings added to the affordability of my downtown purchase.

All I can say at this point is no regrets and the dream continues...

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Alexis Sciuk http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alexis-sciuk/
Rape was reclassified as a type of assault in the Criminal Code of Canada in the early 80s. Prior to this, sexual assault was referred to as rape, indecent assault or gross indecency, depending on the type of crime.

There was a need to broaden the definition of rape to include other sexual acts which didn't include penetration but were a violation of a person's sexual integrity. The law also made the wording more gender neutral to reflect the reality that women were not the only one's being violated, but men and children could be victims as well.

Fast forward to 2012 where there are now a few categories of assault: sexual assault, sexual assault with a weapon, threat to a third party or causing bodily harm, and aggravated sexual assault. This continuum of violence as it is referred, can include inappropriate/unwanted touching, forced kissing and rape.

As a result of these amendments, lawyers cannot bring up a woman's sexual history or reputation to use against her in trial, husbands can now be charged with sexual assault and men can get equal treatment under the law. Personally, I could never argue against these changes.

However, I believe society has a case of disassociation when it comes to the term "sexual assault." It is problematic when ten people give you ten different definitions of a crime. I want details. I want specifics and I want the word rape brought back into the lexicon of everyday discussions.

I want this change because rape means something different to me than inappropriate touching. I may change my route home or mode of transportation if I know there is a rapist on the streets. But more importantly having those details gives me a sense of the gravity of the crime.

I want to hear the police describe the crime as a sexual assault: rape. Sexual assault: inappropriate touching. Sexual assault: forced kissing.

Sexual assault seems like the last frontier when it comes to divulging details. We discuss at length how a person was murdered, tortured or bullied. Regardless of our comfort level we are told the excruciating details of the crime.

We describe murder as first or second degree, what instrument used to kill them and how. We describe fires in terms of five or three alarm. We describe the severity of earthquakes on a richter scale. All across our vernacular we give the level of severity. Yet for some reason, I never know when someone has been charged with sexual assault, what that actually means.

Although this topic is more complex than what I have described, I believe by providing society and frankly providing women with more details about sexual assaults, we impart
more control. We allow women to control how they use the information. Ultimately, isn't this issue all about control?

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