BabyPost2013-05-25T00:15:48-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.ca/author/index.php?author=babypostCopyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc.HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for BabyPostGood old fashioned elbow grease.How the Internet Can Make Us More Gullible and Less Informedtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.32537262013-05-11T01:00:01-04:002013-05-11T01:00:09-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/
Last week rumour spread like wildfire around Facebook that beloved and yet controversial brand Johnson & Johnson had their license pulled by the FDA. I probably saw it shared about eight times in two hours, including in one of my close-knit moms groups.
The news was shocking. J&J has for a while now, been facing criticism and suspicion for containing carcinogens. While many studies say that you'd have to bathe in vats of the stuff (not mixed with water, just the soap) for days, weeks or even years, before the load in the products would be of any risk to users, people everywhere still say it is a risky soap to use to and should be avoided. So if they had their license pulled by the FDA, surely it would be covered by all of the major news outlets.
But I couldn't find it anywhere. I looked and looked for major news sources to substantiate it. I looked at everything from CNN to the Toronto Star to the Mayo Clinic. Nothing.
At first I was only looking to find more news about it, but I slowly started realizing there wasn't any news at all.
One friend, who also happens to be an Arbonne rep, posted the "news" to her wall saying, this is why I use Arbonne! It's safe! So I politely pointed out the news wasn't substantiated at all and that no news outlet had actually said the license had been pulled. The story that was circulating was dated three days prior. Certainly if it was true SOMEONE would have covered it by now!
Five minutes later she posted three links to prove it was "true."
One link was dated 2010, another 2011 and the last link was for a publication called the New Indian Express. All her link searching proved was two things. One, that people read news without reading the facts, including the year it was published, and two, that as it turns out it was the Maharastra Food and Drug Association in India had withdrawn J&J's license. Not the U.S. Food and Drug Association, as the lead of the story, which has since been edited, would have had readers believe.
Regardless of the fact that the news turned out to be wrong, or, at least irrelevant on this continent, my Arbonne-rep friend still used it as a platform to prove that J&J is evil and Arbonne is safe. Without debating whether or not Johnson & Johnson products can pose a risk to the long term health of our children, the reality is that this "news" wasn't news at all and proves that people are so quick to find substantiation for their cause that they rely on one source as gospel. It's the opposite of the Internet making us smarter. It's making us complacent, gullible and ill-informed.
It's where people go for self-diagnosis (let me save you the time Googling: whatever symptoms you are looking up, are indications for cancer. You're welcome) and where people go to find out who that guy who started in that movie was. We use the Internet to keep in touch and access information, but maybe people need to take a step back and look at the sources of information before they rely on it, believe it, and share it.
When it comes to the Internet, it's best not to trust the first source you see. Even if (or maybe especially) it's coming from a friend.
UPDATE: After contacting Johnson & Johnson Inc., we received the following statement from Shelley Kohut the Director Communications, Public Relations in Canada.
We would like to assure all of our consumers that the JOHNSON'S baby powder that was sold in India was safe and did not pose any health risk at any time. The regulatory authority in Maharashtra, India, raised questions about a sterilization process used on a small number of batches of baby powder for a brief time in 2007. All of the product in question expired in 2010. There were no adverse events or consumer complaints of any kind reported. We are working closely with the regulatory authority in India to resolve the issue. Canadian parents and caregivers can be assured that none of this product was sold outside of India.
More from BabyPost Rebecca Eckler: I Suffer from Post-traumatic Pregnancy Memories Are Three-Kid Families More Stressful for Moms? 7 Things You Probably Shouldn't Do Now That You're a Parent]]>While My Kids Are Young, Mother's Day is More Like Family Daytag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.32199622013-05-06T11:29:44-04:002013-05-06T12:38:54-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/
I don't need any grand gestures on Mother's Day. Maybe when my kids are older (they're four and two now) they'll help daddy cook me terrible tasting pancakes and make freshly squeezed orange juice with way too much pulp in it. And that will be awesome. But for now, while they're so young, my expectations are similar but different. I don't expect flowers and jewelry. In fact, by far my favourite gifts every year from my daughter have been whatever craft she made for me at daycare.
I won't lie, the Tiffany necklace my husband got for me two years ago that had my kids' initials, when my son was a newborn and my daughter was two, was the perfect gift at the time. I treasure it as we had just completed our family the month before. But my kids were really too young to do anything, and that was more a gift from my husband than my kids.
But my kids are both old enough now to contribute to some handmade-with-love art work, and so my husband is divested of the role of gift purchaser. I look forward to seeing what they come up with this year.
For my family, Mother's Day is more like Family Day. We have been going to my brother and sister-in-law's for a big family brunch every year to celebrate our moms and, four years ago, I got to be celebrated there too. I look forward to that brunch every year, because it's nice to be with my mom, and my children, and the mom of my niece, and her mom too. It's special to me to be surrounded by the moms of some of the best ladies I know. I enjoy being celebrated among them. It makes the day special for me, which is really what Mother's Day should be about.
I distinctly remember the first Mother's Day gift I ever went out and bought my mother independently with my allowance money. It was a cheesy picture frame that says "I love my mommy" in a messy crayon-looking text, that I put a pretty bad picture of myself as a baby being held by my mom. I remember feeling such pride in giving her that gift. Oddly, it's the one she remembers getting the most, and still has it displayed in her house, original-chosen picture included, 25 years later.
]]>Does It Really Matter If Your Second Baby Wears Hand-Me-Downs?tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.31797412013-05-02T12:21:59-04:002013-05-02T12:22:04-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/
The survey found that one fifth of parents reported that they spent, on average, $300 less on their second children than they did on their first. The cost difference in the study is attributed to mothers saying they learned what they needed and what they didn't with their first child, as well as having the ability to pass on items as hand me downs, especially pricey essentials like car seats and strollers.
The Daily Mail reported on the study and a blogger commented on it, admitting that if she were to have a second child, she would feel the need to re-buy things, even if they are not necessary, so that her second child wouldn't feel like they got the shaft.
My children are 26 months apart, and are different genders. I bought precious little for my son when he was a little baby. Most of the newborn stuff I received for my daughter was gender neutral because we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl before she was born, but honestly, the stuff that wasn't gender neutral we used for him anyway. He didn't know his sleeper had flowers on it when he was three months old. And honestly, even now that he's older (he just turned two) I still don't think he'd care. My daughter's car seat was still years before its expiry, her stroller still functional, her infant clothes in great shape given that she spurted through sizes every month it seemed. So why not reuse them?
No, I wouldn't re-buy items to replace perfectly good ones to apparently spare my child's feelings. And I don't think not getting my child new things when it's not necessary is giving them 'the shaft.' In fact, I'd hope, if he was old enough to care, he'd learn that recycling is a good thing and that reusing is responsible. I'd hope it would mitigate materialism. At the very least, it shows that I'm not going to throw out money to get the newest and coolest, just because.
Babies don't know -- and don't care -- if they are using their older sibling's hand me downs. They don't have it worse than their older siblings, just because they don't have a fancy new bouncy seat. The only person who knows or who cares that it's the same stuff is the parent who passed it down.
Says the blogger: "But as the mom of a seven-year-old, if I ever were to have another child -- I think I'd feel guilty giving him or her the shaft and not spending quite as much as I did on my son. Yes, I realize that sounds pretty materialistic and slightly crazy. Let me explain." She goes on to explain that, seven years later, some items might expire and others would be woefully out of date.
The expiry date issue is a safety one, but as far as the items being out of style? They're babies. Who cares? My daughter's clothes weren't really stylish anyway. She mostly lived in two-piece sets from Carters and hand-me-downs from my niece, who is four years older. I wasn't too good for hand-me-downs and neither is my daughter. I'd much sooner save gobs of money by not buying new clothes when I can get perfectly good clothes from my niece who no longer fits in them.
I'd say 75 per cent of my daughter's wardrobe up until this point, at the age of four, have been hand me downs from my niece. And she's my oldest child. So my first got the shaft too, I guess.
I don't think the measure of kids having it good or getting the shaft is based on the new stuff they get when they're too young to know the difference. And if you have the money and desire to replace perfectly good items for your second child so that they don't feel like they don't have it as good as their older sibling, then go nuts. But you doing so won't be a service to the younger child and it won't be giving them a sense of fairness. Because as babies, they won't know the difference anyway. Call a spade a spade and acknowledge that the only person who would think the younger kid is getting the shaft, is you.
It is not news that divorce rates are on the rise. Single parent and blended families have become the norm in recent years. Divorces are never easier, even more so when children are involved and tend to affect children the hardest. Tammy Daughtry, CEO of Co-Parenting International and Co-Parenting Coach has advice to ease the divorce process on your children. Based on her book, Co-Parenting Works! Helping Your Children Thrive After a Divorce, she offers the top 10 ways to keep your children happy during a divorce.
1. "Don't say mean things about your ex-spouse in front of your children. Your children love both of you," explains Daughtry. By talking badly about their other parent you are making it harder on your child, not your ex. It puts your children in an awkward situation. Your children have their own relationships with each parent; do not try to corrupt their opinion of the other parent.
2. "Criticizing your ex-spouse usually works the opposite way you intend it to," claims Daughtry. "Children are very loyal and by criticizing their parent it makes your kids angry with YOU!" Children are the innocent bystanders in divorces. Criticizing can cause stress, anger and conflict for your children. Being a child in the middle of a divorce is difficult enough, why not make it as easy as possible and keep your opinions to yourself.
3. "Don't make your kids pick who they want to spend time with - it's not fair and your children are the ones who will end up hurt," she says. "And don't 'keep track' of their time with the other parent like they are 'on the clock' - it can't always be 100% fair. Just love your children when you are together and don't make them feel bad about not spending the same amount of time with each of you."
4. "Handle your financial conversations in private," Daughtry pleads. Your kids do not need to be involved in aspects of the divorce that do not concern them. Going through a divorce is a stressful time for all involved, try to limit that stress on your children by only involving them in conversations that will have a direct impact on them.
5. "Don't use money to win their love - be a stable and loving parent and your children will love you no matter who has the "most" money," she explains. Kids are smarter than they are often given credit for. While they may love getting gifts, it will not be lost on them why they are suddenly getting a present every time they see a certain parent.
6. "Don't keep your children from seeing the other parent - if you do, your children may grow up to resent you," Daughtry points out. While keeping your child from their other parent will certainly hurt your ex, it will undoubtedly hurt your child more. Your kids will likely not understand your reasons, they WILL understand that YOU are the reason they cannot see their other parent.
7. "Get a counselor to help you with your problems - your children need you to be strong and stable for their well being," she says. "They don't want to hear about your dating and your disappointments. They don't want to hear about your problems at work or how much you are struggling financially. Talk to someone else. Your kids need you to be their parent and mentor and lead them in the way you want them to grow up. Don't make your children be YOUR parent."
8. "Don't make you children your messenger," Daughtry continues. Keep lines of communication open between you and your ex-spouse. This will not only help avoid conflict, but it also ensures that they will be no confusion and miscommunication that often comes when a third party is involved.
9. "Laugh and smile - your mood has a direct impact of that of your children," she explains. Stress breeds stress. "Find a way to be happy and enjoy your life - your children need to have fun and enjoyable memories with you," she continues.
10. "Don't forget that your children have a divided heart now and they live between two completely different houses, rules, traditions and attitudes," Daughtry reminds parents. "Be patient with them when they forget things or need some time to adjust from house to house. Help you children not to have to feel like a visitor when they are with either parent. Things like tooth brushes, shoes, clothes, their favourite cereal, and having cool décor in their room - these all help them feel welcomed and 'at home' in both homes. Make it as easy on your kids as possible!"
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]]>Would You Sedate Your Baby on a Cross-Atlantic Flight?tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.30921992013-04-16T12:24:50-04:002013-04-16T12:13:40-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/
Last week on the Daily Mail (a U.K.-based publication)'s chat forum, someone posted an article written by a U.K. blogger who admitted she gave her daughter a sedative on a cross-Atlantic flight, just to get some peace and quiet.
Cue chat room critics who preached the gospel I've heard many times on the chat board I frequent.
"It's just wrong. Take a sleeping pill yourself, fine, it's your body to do with what you will, but medicating children unnecessarily in order to have a more convenient flight is something I'd never do."
"It is never acceptable to drug children unless it is for medical reasons and then only under medical supervision."
And my personal favourite: "If I had them, ABSOLUTELY NOT. It is totally wrong in my opinion. Discipline is the key to keeping children behaved on a flight."
The last one sticks out particularly to me given that the baby in question in this blog was ONE. Not sure how one can effectively discipline a one-year-old to behave on a plane. But, I digress.
Based on the comments in the forum, it's clear the original blog writer, Shona Sibary, has a bit of a reputation for shock-value blogging. I gathered this from a number of comments that were variations on this one poster's comment that "Before I go and read the article.... It's HER.... AGAIN???"
Sibary doesn't say what medication she gave her daughter Flo, only that it was sedating. I'll go ahead and assume it was Gravol or Benadryl.
I'll confess that I've done it. I didn't do it so that I didn't annoy people on the plane and I didn't do it for my comfort (well, maybe for my comfort a little). I did it because altitudes can wreak havoc on my ears, let alone on my child's ears and given how uncomfortable and antsy she is in a car, I knew the plane would be a disaster, and it was.
Of course, in my case it turned out that the warning that some kids have the opposite reaction that's intended and can end up hyper was true for us. So that certainly didn't help us. But I personally don't think that giving her a (small) dose of a children's medication to make her more comfortable at high altitudes makes me some terrible parent worthy of ire.
Sibary did herself no favour saying:
"It was the looks of hatred on their faces -- glares saying: 'Can't you do something about that dreadful noise, you ineffectual mother?' -- that made me reach, in desperation, for the bottle in my handbag." I mean, really, surly she knows that the finger pointing about her being an ineffectual mother will be far greater admitting that she gave her child medication she didn't actually need.
I don't believe for one second the poster who said she has never been annoyed by a baby on a plane. Even I'm annoyed by other babies on planes, even when I'm carting my own. I feel empathy for their parents but it doesn't make me dread take-offs and landing and top altitudes on a long flight any less.
You're pretty much damned either way. Either you'll be judged, according to those moms anyway, for lack of proper discipline or entertainment to keep your (ONE-YEAR-OLD) baby in check, or you'll be judged for making efforts to keep them more comfortable.
Unless we're talking about large doses or medications not specifically made for children, I really don't see what the big deal is. Maybe in Sibary's case, the issue is more to do with why she did it (because clearly she doesn't REALLY care what other people think, except for maybe when she's not behind a computer screen) and her reputation. But given the choice between my child being uncomfortable and antsy and screaming and squirming an entire flight, aggravating everyone and making my child upset, I'd do the same as her. And then everyone will be comfortable.
]]>How to Have a Baby Without Going Broketag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.30698602013-04-12T17:59:57-04:002013-04-12T17:25:02-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/ Adjust your spending -- and expectations
You can start to prepare as soon as you've got that positive pregnancy test -- or sooner!
Personal finance guru Gail Vaz-Oxlade has helped countless new parents solve their financial woes. She suggests that couples learn to live on the income they'll have while they're not working during maternity or parental leave. "If your income will drop by $250 a week while you're on mat leave, take that $250 and slide it into a savings account while you're both still working. You'll get used to living on less so you're prepared for the change in income. And you'll be building a nice emergency fund for those just-in-case situations."
This not only makes the financial transition easier, but helps you adjust your lifestyle expectations. Getting into more frugal habits early in the pregnancy will mean one less major adjustment once your bundle of joy makes his or her debut. Think Netflix at home instead of going to the movies, and board games with friends instead of restaurant dinners. It's natural to want to take advantage of your remaining months of freedom and couple-only time, but it's also wise to get ready for life with less disposable income.
Avoid consumer credit at all costs
Whether it's getting started on decorating the dream nursery or one last pre-baby holiday, there are all sorts of reasons why expectant parents start racking up charges. Gail says "there are just as many dumb daddies are there are moronic mommies. But there is most certainly an impact on the whole family when the financial duckies aren't all in a row. Most often people turn to consumer credit -- their credit cards and lines of credit -- to fill the gap in their cash flow from their lack of planning." This is especially disastrous because once the family's income level resumes, they have to deal not only with the debt they've amassed, but also the added expense of childcare.
Think second-hand first!
Gail's number one money tip for new parents is to buy used... "everything if you must. There are loads of places where you can get stuff for pennies on the dollar. But before you lay out a cent, tell all your friends and family what you'll need and see what people have stored in boxes. It's amazing how much stuff people have tucked away. Use up what's there before hitting any stores, even second-hand ones."
If you've never been to a kids' consignment shop, you might be surprised at the good quality and quantity of gently-used clothing and gear that's available. Kijiji, Craigslist, and eBay are also great sources for baby gear. And who knows -- if you take good care of your purchases, you may be able to sell them later for a little extra cash!
It's a lot of fun to get away with the family, but before you can hop a plane and kick back you have to figure out where to go. Not every get-away is kid-friendly, so you'll want to do your research and plan ahead. You can find family-oriented activities to do just about anywhere, but there are some destinations that are particularly well set up for families with young kids. Here are some ideas.
Orlando, Florida
This is one of the most obvious choices with its Disney offerings, but Orlando has more to offer to vacationing families including tons of other attractions and lots of family-sized condos and houses to rent (check out VBRO for options). For on-site Disney resorts there are accommodations for every budget: Deluxe Polynesian Resort; mid-range Port Orleans Resort; value Pop Century Resort.
Riviera Maya, Mexico
With sun, sand, amazing ruins to explore and several beautiful all-inclusive resorts in the area catering to families, Riviera Maya is the perfect sun basking family vacation. For luxury family all-inclusive visit Azul Sensatori. The resort takes care of all the essentials (they provide cribs, change tables, strollers and high chairs) and even has a playroom designed by Fisher Price!
Kauai, Hawaii
Lush landscapes and spectacular scenery combine to make Kauai a fantastic family adventure spot. Hiking, kayaking, sailing and cave exploration are all popular tourist activities on the 'Garden Isle'. Check out family favourite Marriott Kauai Resort.
West Edmonton Mall, Edmonton, Canada
Theme rooms, an amusement park, water park, ice rink, movie theatres, mini-golf course and of course shopping (among other things) - all housed under the roof of the largest mall in North America. The mall offers two options for accommodations: Fantasyland Hotel and the West Edmonton Mall Inn.
Prince Edward Island
Check out Anne of Green Gables' stomping grounds in the charming province of PEI. With its themed businesses, stunning beaches and rolling hills you'll feel as if you've been transported into the story. Stay at the charming Kindred Spirits Country Inn and Cottages in Cavendish.
Niagara Falls, Canada & USA
Whether you check it out from the Canadian side, the American side or both, the falls and surrounding area are an impressive spot for families to explore. Where to stay: Great Wolf Lodge caters to families with an indoor water park, fun activities and is located minutes from downtown Niagara Falls Canada.
San Diego, California
The laid-back vibe, famous zoo and incredible food come together to make San Diego a wonderful choice for families looking for a casual and fun trip. Enjoy breathtaking views, surf, sand or just lounge by the pool at the family fave Pacific Terrace Hotel.
Costa Rica
Fantastic prices, waterfalls, volcanoes, exotic animals and lots of side-trips for thrill seekers are just a few of the reasons why Costa Rica is a great vacation spot for families. Hotel Villa Belmar in Playa Hermosa is an inexpensive, but great family hotel. And the calm Pacific waters in Playa Hermosa make it enjoyable for kids of all ages.
Jamaica
With loads of amazing resorts for families, the Jamaica is a good choice for sun- and sand-loving parents and kids. The sparkling white beaches and water sports are a major draw. Looking for a little R&R time during your holiday? Stay at the parent favourite Franklyn D Resort where every child is assigned a personal nanny for the duration of their stay.
]]>Seven Ways to Keep Your Sex Life Steamy After Babytag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.30210092013-04-05T17:21:16-04:002013-04-05T17:18:01-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/ 1. Embrace Your Body
The first step to bringing the sexy back is to feel sexy. Your body is different now but different isn't always bad. You may be curvier than before but your body has just undergone one of the most beautiful processes of all time. You have given life. Be proud of that hard work. Your body may be fuller but a few extra inches in your bust line is never a bad thing so look in the mirror and appreciate what you see. A little confidence can go a long way.
2. Put on Sexy Lingerie
Head to the store and find something that flatters your figure and that you feel really comfortable in. Just wearing a sexy outfit will make you feel more attractive and will certainly get your partner in the mood.
3. Mom and Dad are Important Too
Although your newborn is the most beautiful child in the world and you love him or her to pieces, it's not at all selfish to give yourselves some alone, baby-free time. Once in a while, get a relative or friend to come over after you've tucked baby in and head to a hotel with hubby for the night. Keeping your intimate life steamy is also important for your emotional connection and ultimately, your relationship. If everything you say begins with the words, "The baby," then you definitely some time alone.
You're a new mom and you've been breastfeeding all day. Dad has been up all night for feedings and working all day. Needless to say, your current lives may be a little less "sexy" than you would like them to be. So next time you and your partner decide to get intimate, give role-playing a try. You'd be surprised how quickly you can forget how "unsexy" you have been feeling when role-playing begins.
5. Try New Positions and Places
As soon as your doctor gives you the go-ahead to have sex again, try something different. You may not reinvent the wheel, but having sex in a different position, or in a different room (like the living room instead of the bedroom) will spice things up a little bit. And you can never have too much spice in your love life.
6. Practice Kegel Exercises
While Kegel exercises are usually performed to control urine leakage after delivery, they can also be used to tighten the muscles in the vagina and make for better orgasms, too. On an empty bladder, lay down on your back and contract your inner pelvic muscles for 20 seconds at a time. Repeat this 10 times in a row, three times a day.
7. Have Sex Right Now
Maybe not right this second, but some time today. Be spontaneous and just do it. Forget planning it for the perfect night. There's no time like the present.
]]>When it Comes to Car Seats, Almost Isn't Good Enoughtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.30093832013-04-04T12:42:39-04:002013-04-04T12:43:23-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/
I cannot count the number of times I have had people, some close to me, dismiss my feelings on car seat safety. I have often heard the ol' "I didn't have X and I survived" line. I have also heard "I'm a safe driver. I can prevent accidents."
They are called accidents for a reason.
It could happen to anyone. And after reading this blog post of how a family narrowly escaped injury, it hit it close to home.
"I was doing just under the speed limit (yeah, I'm that kind of driver -- sorry!) and going through an empty intersection, we were smashed into by another driver doing almost double the speed limit."
How can you prevent that? How can you avoid that?
"There are no skid marks, no signs he saw us, tried to stop... or even looked up from his phone."
You can't avoid that. The best you can do is protect yourself as best you can to survive it.
I am often told by family members that I make the car seat straps too tight and the children are uncomfortable. I will let the other blogger, the one who survived a serious crash, explain why I don't care if my kids whine that the straps are tight.
"As always, my daughter hollered that the straps of her car seat were too tight, asked to have her arms to have 'more space'. My alter ego, Mean Mom -- she is immune to tears/crying/whining and can just do what has to be done, takes over here and squashes that small voice in my head that says I'm being to rough, that having the straps a bit looser might be more comfortable -- don't worry, that voice will never be heard again! If your child can talk, you know this feeling -- stick with your guns!!! Do.not.loosen the straps!!! Car seats are designed to be tight."
As long as their chests can rise and fall to breathe with ease, the straps are not too tight.
Car seats save lives. This not my opinion. This is something countless crash tests, both controlled and in every day life, have proven over and over again.
I am not paranoid. I am not hyper vigilant. I am not the safety police. And my suggestion that people make sure their car seats are installed and used properly isn't something that should be met with annoyance or an eye roll.
I'm the kind of parent who let my 22-month-old master the steep stair case in my new house by letting him climb them on his own (with me right behind him, but I didn't touch him unless he asked for help or seemed to need it). I am not petrified my child is going to hurt himself every minute of every day. I take (calculated) risks so that my kids learn how to do things safely for themselves. But car seat safety is on a whole other level. There are no calculated risks when it comes to car seats and there is no "almost" when it comes to it being done successfully. Almost, when it comes to car seats, is not good enough.
The seat being 'almost' secure enough, 'almost' upright or reclined enough, the chest clip 'almost' at arm pit level, is not good enough. And it's better to find that out from a manual or a website or a car seat clinic than on the road.
This blogger's children survived, in part due to their mother being vigilant about car safety. They story would have ended quite different and much more tragically, had she not been.
Celia, who posted the photographer's blog, put this forward on it. She said it better than I ever could. Using a car seat safely is not that hard. And it is more than worth the effort.
"Tether your forward-facing seats (even if they're in tight without being). Keep your child rear-facing as long as your car seat allows. Make sure the straps are tight enough (even if your child complains, like mine). Position the chest clip at armpit level. Make sure your car seats are installed correctly (read the manual again if you're unsure, and find a car seat tech to help you if you're still unsure after!). Adjust the straps as they grow (when RF the straps should come from under the shoulders, for FF, from above). I'm as free range a parent as any, but car seat safety is not something to be taken lightly. It's fine if your child is not secured properly if you never get in an accident. But you just never know. This could be you tomorrow. Take your time and make sure your children are safe."
It's true that many children back when cars and car seats were less safe than they are now lived to tell the tale. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who has heard that as a reason for not taking the importance of their proper installation and use more seriously.
Yes, you may have been lucky enough to survive. The many kids who didn't can't raise their hand and say "but I didn't."
Written by Leslie Kennedy for BabyPost.com
]]>10 Surprising Facts About Pregnancytag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.29937092013-04-02T12:56:03-04:002013-04-02T12:09:42-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/BabyPost.com
1. You may not get pregnant the first month you decide you are ready for a baby
Women spend so much time ensuring they are protected from getting pregnant that many assume that once they are ready they will get pregnant right away. This is often not the case, in fact, in general there is only about a 20 per cent chance of getting pregnant each cycle. Combine that with a body that is possibly re-adjusting to life without hormones from the birth control pill or shots, and it is easy to see why getting pregnant can take a little time. Don't stress, the vast majority of women get pregnant within six to 12 months of actively trying.
2. You should begin taking prenatal vitamins before you begin trying to conceive
A fetus starts developing major organs before many women know they are pregnant. When a woman is about four weeks pregnant, her baby, or blastocyst as they are called at this time, is beginning to develop their neural tube. By five weeks the heart, stomach, liver and kidneys are forming. It is for this reason that women trying to conceive should be taking prenatal vitamins containing at least 1000 mg of folic acid.
3. You are more likely to have twins if you are tall
While multiple fetus pregnancies have been on the rise, most are due to fertility treatments. A woman is far more likely to have twins if she is taking fertility drugs or using In vitro fertilization (IVF) due to the fact that more eggs are being released and/or implanted. However, there are also many genetic factors that can lead to multiple births. A woman is more likely to have twins if she is over the age of 35, has a history of twin pregnancies, has twins running in her family, or is tall.
4. Most women don't get morning sickness
The bad news is, most get more of an all-day sickness. Around week six of pregnancy, the hormones are kicking into full gear and so is the nausea. While a lucky few women escape sickness all together, most experience "morning sickness" to some degree. Good news, many women feel nauseous without actually getting sick. Many experts believe that sickness subsides between twelve and fourteen weeks when the placenta begins producing hormones on its own.
5. You should give into (most) of your pregnancy cravings
Cravings during pregnancy are one of the most common symptoms. Many believe that cravings during pregnancy are your body's way of telling you that you may be lacking a certain nutrient or vitamin. For example, a woman craving an ice cream sundae may be lacking calcium. So, go on give into to your craving! There is, however, a time when you should not give into your cravings. There is a rare disorder called Pica, in which women crave unhealthy, even unsafe products such as paint or wood.
6. You may not "feel" pregnant during the second trimester
Many women spend the first trimester sick, exhausted and counting down the days until the long-awaited second trimester. Gone is the morning sickness and trips to the bathroom every five minutes (at least until the third trimester), and hello 10 p.m., haven't seen you in awhile, your energy has finally returned! You should not worry when all your early symptoms disappear even though you might not feel pregnant. The second trimester is generally regarded as the most enjoyable of the three. Plus, another bonus of the second trimester, you begin to look pregnant and get to feel the long awaited first kicks.
7. You only need about 300 extra calories
Eating for two? Not quite. It is important to eat healthy and not diet or cut calories during pregnancy, but experts tend to agree that only an extra 300 calories a day is required during the second and third trimester. The calories could come in the form of cheese, crackers and an apple, or a banana and some peanut butter. Putting on too much weight during pregnancy can cause problems for you and your baby, not to mention make it that much harder to lose the baby weight afterwards.
8. Your baby can give you butterflies, in more way than one
You may have had butterflies since the moment you first saw a positive pregnancy test, but sometime around week 20 your baby may be giving you a different type of butterflies. Your baby starts moving around very early on in your pregnancy; however, those movements are not strong enough to be felt until around the halfway point. While you may be awaiting the first kicks, some women miss what is often described as "butterflies" or "flutters" that prelude more concrete kicks.
9. You shouldn't worry about your water breaking in public
Pregnancy is a time of joy, anticipation and excitement. It can also be a time of fear, stress and anxiety. Since you first discovered you were pregnant you have probably been imagining (and possibly dreading) labour and delivery. Having your water break in in public is a common fear. However, in the majority of women, it is much more likely for your water to break once labour is in full swing, after some heavy contractions. In some women, their water never breaks on their own and must be broken by their doctor.
10. Only about 5 per cent of babies are born on their due date
You will spend your entire pregnancy counting the days until you get to see your baby's sweet, little face. However, like many women, especially first time mothers-to-be, you may continue to wait well past your due date. While pregnancy is generally considered to last for 40 weeks, most first time pregnancies average just over 41 weeks, some longer. Doctors may decide to induce a labour that has not started spontaneously, generally between 7-14 days after the due date, unless a medical reason exists.
]]>Should You Avoid Popular Baby Names?tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.28760502013-03-22T12:58:45-04:002013-05-22T05:12:01-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/BabyPost.com
When you pick the names for your babies, do you care if the name made the most recent "most popular baby names" list? Is that a bonus? Is it a detriment? Do you go out of the way to avoid using a name that anyone you have ever known or ever could possibly know could have or sound like, or remind you of?
I am trying to decide how I feel about my daughter's name falling out of the top 10 this year. I feel like I should have a feeling about it. I don't really.
My daughter's name, which we picked when I was about six months pregnant, was in the Top Ten list the year she was born. My husband and I totally thought we were being original. We had no idea it was a popular name. Somehow, despite being #6 the year she was born, I only have ever encountered one other child with her name, and it's my friend's daughter who was born just weeks before mine. I still gave my daughter the name. CRAZY. Even crazier is that I wasn't mad at her for "stealing" the name and she wasn't mad at me for copying her.
Fast forward two and a half years. We give my son an Anglicized version of a family name, thinking it was rare. That year it was. Remarkably, it's in the Top 30 this year.
I have heard countless people complain of other people "stealing" their name or weighing whether to use a name because it sounds like a third cousin's daughter's name. I have never understood that. Maybe it's because my cousin and I share a middle name and I have a first cousin with the same first name as my brother. It's never even occurred to me to care.
Topping the list of boys names in 2012 was William, Jacob, Liam, Nathan and Noah. Personally I'd argue that Liam and William are the same name, but regardless, the top five boys names are classic names, none that I would consider trendy. And like years previous, the names in the top 10 did not change significantly from last year's list. They rarely do. Give or take a trend.
Then we have the girls' names. Maya/Mia/Mya, Sofia/Sophia, Olivia, Emma and Emile/Emily. Top girls names tend to change significantly every year. Trends seem to come and go far more quickly. Those names all sound classic (and are) but growing up, I never knew a Maya, a Sophia, an Olivia or an Emma.
People are trying to get more creative, to keep their child from being one-of in a classroom, and to give them an identity. Some of the uniqueness manifests in nothing more than changing up a spelling, using a "ph" instead of an "f," a "y" instead of an "i".
And then, there's Hashtag. Poor poor baby Hashtag.
Thankfully, that name didn't crack the top 100 and hopefully never will.
Whether you want to give your child a classic name or a trendy one, the choice is yours. Charlotte, Pearl, Sarah. All names. William, Connor, Xavier, also, all names.
]]>Let's Talk About Gwyneth Paltrow's Miscarriage Like She's a "Real Person"tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.29156122013-03-20T12:57:39-04:002013-05-20T05:12:02-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/
I have known far too many women who have suffered miscarriage and loss. For all of my friends who have shared news of their losses, I'm sure many more friends have also suffered and not shared.
Every time I hear about a celebrity divorce or break up I roll my eyes. It seems like, in Hollywood, marriages are just another form of dating, and just as expendable. But really, I'm sure there is heartbreak and I'm sure there is also humiliation with the world knowing your business at one of your lowest moments.
I can not begin to imagine how hard it would be have the world know about suffering a tragic loss of a much wanted pregnancy.
Gwyneth Paltrow announced to the world this week that she suffered a loss at some point in her pregnancy that was so severe it almost took her life.
I get that she's a celeb and is basically asking for critics to question her choice to share the news and the manner in which she did. Commenters on the People article about the news suggest she's exaggerating the severity and questioning why she'd try again at the 'advanced' age of 40.
I keep vacillating between "you're no different than millions of other women who have suffered miscarriages. What makes your news 'news?'" and then thinking "a loss is a loss and it's sad and terrible when it happens and I'm sorry it happened to her."
That's the problem with celeb news. These people aren't real. Not really anyway. People feel entitled to make comments on life choices, like "I don't get it. If you already have two children and nearly died the last time you attempted to add to your family, why in the world would you even THINK about trying again?" that they would never make to someone they care about in their real lives.
That's the rub of celebrity gossip and celebrity news. These people are real people with real lives and real feelings. But they are more often seen on screen than in the flesh and so people feel entitled to say "Women over 35 should not have kids as it's unfair to the child." When you say that you're not talking about Gwyneth Paltrow. You're talking about countless women who are over the age of 35 who want to start or expand their families.
I feel badly for Paltrow but I don't at the same time. She shared this news with the world. That was her choice. But a loss is sad no matter who it happens to. Even if it's someone people don't realize she is 'real.' Because ultimately, she very much is.
]]>Facebook Pics Can Be Happier Than Real Life, and That's OKtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.28844392013-03-18T12:11:08-04:002013-05-18T05:12:01-04:00BabyPosthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/babypost/Parenting.com got me wondering, are the lives we present on Facebook real? And should they necessarily have to be?
The writer of the blog opted to not post an adorable picture of her children because they looked far happier than they actually were, and suggested a far more congenial relationship than actually existed at the time.
"I thought about posting it on Facebook because I was proud of our little snowman and I wanted to tag my cousins who got us the awesome snowman kit but then I thought...nope, can't do it. The kids look too cute and happy and sweet. And they honestly were none of the above at that moment. More importantly, nor was I," said the blogger.
My knee jerk reaction was 'fair enough.' But then I thought more on it and thought 'really, who cares?'
I am pretty honest in my photo representation of my life with my children on Facebook. I posted many pictures of my screaming newborns, and when my children are doing something particularly impertinent, I'll post that too. I'm the kind of person who is OK with the good the bad and the ugly sides of parenting and representing them truthfully. So who cares if one picture suggests a rosier picture than reality? I'd probably post an adorable picture of my son pretending to pout in between bouts of hysterical laughter. I won't be concerned he world will think my kid is miserable. It's just a picture, a snapshot, a second in time. It doesn't represent more than that.
"What if a mom who was having a bad day with her brood saw my status update and thought, sh*t, I should be outside with my kids or I should be building a snowman. If that mom can do it, so can I. Well, I couldn't do it. And so I didn't post it."
Thankfully my friends know me well enough to not be influenced by a utopic picture and look at it and think that I am some Martha Stewart-Carol Brady mother. Maybe if I routinely present my life differently than I actually live it I'd care more about the lies seeping through pictures of happy-looking children. And really, if one of them sees a picture and thinks 'I should be outside with my children' then is that such a bad thing?
Even if those kids in those pictures were miserable and misbehaving, even if everyone was mad and frustrated, that picture is sweet. That mother was able to capture a moment in time where everyone looks happy and proud of the snowman they created. And for that reason, the picture should have been posted. It doesn't matter about the minutes leading up to that picture and the minutes immediately following. All of that frustration culminated in a pretty sweet picture of her children and that makes her efforts having them outside worth it.
There is something to be said for capturing the small moments in an otherwise hectic and harried life. Who cares if it wasn't as it appeared. Years from now the frustration of that day will be forgotten and the moment captured treasured.
It's not lying to post a happy-looking picture that isn't really representative. It's not misleading. It's saying 'that's right, my life is hectic. But we get these moments too, and this moment, the one in this photo, is kind of sweet.'
I post the crying pictures, I post the happy pictures. I will post the pictures of the first time my daughter gives herself a hair cut and when the kids find the Sharpies and decorate our walls. I no more assume people will look at those pictures and think my life is a constant gong show devoid of happy moments than I would assume a happy picture suggests life is like that all the time.
Sometimes it's nice to see a happy moment captured in an otherwise messy scenario. Because the fact you can proves it's there. And that is worth sharing.
1. Michaela: The girl's form of "Michael," it boasts various spellings that still evoke the strong, classic aspects of this perennial favourite. In terms of Irish baby names, either "Michaela" OR "Michael" are perhaps the ones you've heard before.
2. Ailbe (pronounced all-bay): A name that works for either gender, "Ailbe" comes from the old Irish word for "white," as well as the saint who blessed a river with fish, feeding countless residents who lived in County Tipperary.
3. Fiona: "Fair" and "beautiful" are just two of the words that define Fiona, the feminine form of "Fionn." It's not just for Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona anymore.
4. Oona: The name "Oona" comes from "lamb," or even from the Latin word for "one" which can be translated into "unity." Irish legend sees Oonagh (pronounced the same) dubbed the "Queen Of The Fairies" who was married to Finn Mac Cool.
5. Saorise (pronounced sear-sha): Translated into "freedom" and "liberty," Saorise is an Irish baby name that's yet to see the mainstream in North America. Likely because it came to prevalence in the 1920s, "Soarise" is currently gaining prominence overseas.
1. Conor: Simple and classic, if you've been scoping out Irish baby names, you've no doubt already come across this one. Gaelic for "hound lover," its traditional spelling is "Concobhar," so if you want to make a unique impact, you can negotiate the way it looks on paper.
2. Ciaran: Named after two patron saints, "Ciaran" is pronounced as "Keer-an," and also translates into "black." Evidently, it's been around since the fifth century, so you certainly don't have to worry about this Irish baby name going out of style.
3. Ronan: The name of a king (The King of Leinster, to be specific), Ronan also means "little seal" and is of Gaelic origin. As of a few years ago, it was still relatively underground (for a North American baby name), but considering it's maintained centuries of longevity, you can't help but think we'll be seeing more boys named Ronan in the near future.
4. Padraig: You've heard it as "Patrick," but you probably haven't heard that "Padraig" is the national name of Ireland. From the Latin word for "noble," it's the name of kings -- so the perfect Irish baby name if you're hoping to have a "regal" son.
5. Jack: "Jack's" popularity soars by the year, and that's probably because it's a form of "John" -- a hugely popular name since most of us (and our parents and grandparents) can remember. In Hebrew it means "God has favoured" and various forms include Eoin, Seon, Shuan, Shawn and Shane.
