Carol Mott2013-05-23T08:02:37-04:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.ca/author/index.php?author=carol-mottCopyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc.HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Carol MottGood old fashioned elbow grease.Watching the Nightmare Unfold in Newtowntag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.23131182012-12-17T12:25:05-05:002013-02-16T05:12:01-05:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/He Said...
Outraged and hurting, in desperate need of answers, a grieving, wounded society is on the attack...again.
While he may have acted alone, the sick young man who rained evil upon Newtown, Connecticut, apparently had "accomplices."
It was 20-year-old Adam Lanza who opened fire at Sandy Hook Elementary, snuffing out the lives of 20 small children and six adults, before taking his own life. But, he, in the minds of many, striking out on Twitter and Facebook, isn't solely responsible. There are others to blame, from God to the NRA, to society's ignorance of mental illness. It's now obvious the boy was disturbed, but the signs were missed, misread or ignored.
And where was this loving God? Was he too busy that fateful Friday to attend Sandy Hook? How, in his name, could he possibly allow this!?
Then, there's the "gun lovers," those who believe in the right to bear arms, and who oppose legislation that would severely cripple that right...those who are mocked for stating, "guns don't kill people, people kill people."
But, finger pointing aside, the fact is, the deadliest "weapon" in Newtown, was Adam Lanza. Had there not been the convenience of mom's guns, would he have sought them elsewhere, or employed other means to wreak havoc?
We'll never know.
Like most, I'm not opposed to gun control, but even the strictest laws would be no guarantee, that we'd never see a repeat of the nightmare that's Newtown.
After so many tragic incidents, (Ecole Polytechnique, Columbine, Virginia Tech, etc., etc., etc.) if the answer to the question, "how do we protect our schools?" isn't obvious by now, I fear, it may never be. Unfortunately, the ONLY answer is, turning our schools into armed fortresses. It may be a dear price to pay in a free and open society, but a necessary one.
Had young Mr. Lanza faced pistol packin' guards at the school's front door...odds are pretty good, that 20 little ones would get to grow up. But, there are those who take comfort, in believing these small souls are in a much better place. I truly envy you, and sincerely hope you're right.
She Says...
I am thankful that our hydro went out last Friday evening. I just couldn't take any more and knew that I wouldn't turn it off. Mesmerized and sickened by what I was watching from Newtown, Connecticut I was feeling so sorry for the families joined in tragedy. It was too much to bear to watch, how will they cope?
One little girl talked about her friends who had stomach aches after the days horror. Tell me why members of the media were talking to children six and seven years old after so many of their classmates had just been gunned down in cold blood. I don't care if this child's mother was standing right behind her. They were all in shock and weren't thinking clearly. Believe it or not, they do teach ethics in journalism school.
Just now we are getting to know the people behind the numbers. Twenty-six dead, but who are they? The stories of immense courage are coming out, teachers running toward the sound of gunshots, some shielding children with their bodies.
We hear so much about the awful people in this world. Every day the news is filled with the ones you don't want as your neighbours. In the midst of this we are hearing about the lives of wonderful people who made a mark on these precious little children and who truly loved them.
Who could do this? Why? A picture is emerging of someone with mental health issues and far too easy access to weapons. There were signs. It seems in retrospect there always are.
American society, as wonderful as it is, has some fatal flaws. Many are saying it's not the time to have a debate about guns. It's precisely the time to have that discussion. If not, these children and their incredible teachers will just be the latest in a growing list of tragedies.
I don't know if anything can make this worse, but that this happened at a time of year that fills that age of innocence with such excitement and wonder just adds another level of heartbreak.
The Motts can be heard weekdays from 11 until noon at themotts.ca, Erin Radio 88.1FM, and Stouffville Radio 102.7FM. "Motts Weekend" is heard on radio stations CKTB, CKNX, CHOK & CJBQ.]]>Stop Treating Two Prank-Calling DJs Like Killerstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.22677682012-12-10T12:02:52-05:002013-02-09T05:12:01-05:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/Aussie DJs, who they believe are responsible for the death of a London hospital worker... time to take a pill, people!
When MC and Mel, of Sydney's 2Day FM, placed a crank call to London's King Edward VII Hospital, there's no way on earth they could have foreseen, that it might play a part in a tragic event like this.
Pretending to be the Queen and Prince Charles, the two inquired about the condition of the Duchess of Cambridge, who was battling a severe case of morning sickness. Apparently fooled by the pair, nurse/receptionist, Jacintha Saldanha, put the call through to the nurse's station on Kate's ward.
What followed was a conversation, more silly than funny, with a still unnamed nurse, updating "The Royals" on Kate's condition... information that had already been made public.
Subsequently, a mocking world pointed and laughed, incredulous, that anyone was dumb enough to fall for the gag... the twitterverse was a-giggle, and comedians and talk show hosts feasted on the "stupidity."
Three days later, the laughing stopped.
Early Friday morning, Jacintha's body was found in her home near the hospital. It appeared the 47-year-old mother of two teens had taken her own life. Now, the world has a new target -- those two heartless DJs at 2Day FM!
The social media surfers are crying out for justice -- they must be punished, persecuted and prosecuted! Australia's communication authority has launched an investigation, and the nation's Prime Minister has expressed her regrets.
Meanwhile, a devastated MC and Mel have been be benched, their careers on hold.
But what are these two actually guilty of? Crank calls on radio have been around for at least 50 years, maybe, since Bell met Marconi!
And was it really this gag that led to Saldanha's apparent suicide? Did she tell someone or leave a note? Did she suffer emotional problems and this nudged her over? Could the timing of her death be just a coincidence?
I have no idea, but all I've heard to this point is a lot of speculation and assumptions.She killed herself, ashamed and embarrassed over being fooled.
Few of us escape life without being pranked at some point, but, fortunately, most of us have the ability to laugh at ourselves. It's not only an admirable quality, but a necessary one.
Maybe Jacintha could take a joke, but maybe, for her, this one was just too big to handle. Again, who really knows for sure? What I do know is, these two young DJs don't deserve the pummelling they're taking.
If you're torn up by this tragic event, just imagine how they feel, standing accused of pushing a woman to take her own life!
Hang in there, MC and Mel...
The Motts can be heard weekdays from 11 until noon at themotts.ca with podcasts available anytime. "Motts Weekend" is heard on 610 CKTB, CKNX in Wingham, CHOK in Sarnia and CJBQ in Belleville.
]]>The Real Victims of Teachers vs. Dalton McGuinty? The Studentstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.19137992012-09-25T16:07:45-04:002012-11-25T05:12:01-05:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/He Said...
It's not often I agree with the Premier of this province, but this time I'm onside. As most are aware, the Liberal chief has slapped our educators with a two year, "no strike/wage freeze," and the teachers are screaming, claiming he's pumped a slug into the collective bargaining process.
McGuinty's argument is, sorry about that, but times are tough, the coffers are bare, we're in hock up to our ears, so a Preem's gotta do what a Preem's gotta do!
But the question is: is Dastardly Dalton flaunting the law, stomping on the teacher's constitutional rights? They believe he is, and have taken their fight to the courts. (I can't wait to see the bill for that battle!)
The teachers, of course, fairly or unfairly, have been tagged as "greedy," their critics trumpeting, they have no cause to whine. They sound off, that in this economy, teachers are far better off than most, pointing to their handsome holiday breaks, excellent benefits and retirement packages.
The teachers, meanwhile, fearing no further loss of favour, have backed up their beef with a pointless, mean spirited tactic -- a complete withdrawal, or intermittent involvement in extracurricular activities. While this childish stunt may annoy their political foes and piss off the parents, the only ones hurt by it, are the kids!
I would suggest, that the big thinker who came up with this bit of strategy, isn't smart enough to be involved in education. How was this supposed to play out? Were distraught students expected to cry to mom and dad, who in turn, would tear the big, nasty Premier a new one, forcing him to back down?
It was a dumb move, and now the teachers are the bad guys in everyone's eyes. The Premier was right when he pointed out to the teachers (rather sad that he had to) that their beef was with him, not the students, and the place to deal with him was at the polls.
If our teachers aren't mature enough to see their hissy fit as silly and grossly unfair, maybe their next move should be holding their breath.
She Said...
The kids are just back to school and already much of what they enjoy in extra-curricular activities is being whittled away. Once again they are pawns to be used in a political game. Some teachers decided not to attend the curriculum night used to introduce parents to the education line up for the year. It's a night where they hope to engage the parents and inspire the kids. What does a no-show say about that?
We often hear teachers say that there is little respect given to them in the classroom. That has to be tough and we always tried to instill in our children a respect for their teachers. We expected a certain standard of behaviour and if they didn't meet it, which happened on occasion, we knew we would hear from the school which was fine with us. We would back them up. It will be difficult to develop a rapport with the students and parents when you withdraw an important part of their school life.
What do you remember from your school days? I'd venture to say that many of the memories come not from what happened in class but from those extra-curricular activities, the life lessons learned and the great teachers who supported you in that quest.
Teachers make a very good living, as they should. Since McGuinty came to office, average salaries are up by 34 per cent, teachers are making on average $83,500, and they retire with a very handsome pension -- far better than those in the private sector. To ask them to accept a wage freeze, a ban on strikes and to give up sick day pay outs at retirement isn't outrageous. To be facing the prospect of a sanitized school experience, coming as this does on the heels of a long hot summer off, is!
The Motts can be heard weekdays from 11 until noon at themotts.ca, on Caledon Radio 102.7FM, Bolton Radio 105.5FM, Erin Radio 88.1FM, and Stouffville Radio 102.7FM. "Motts Weekend" is heard on 610 CKTB in St. Catharines and CKNX in Wingham.]]>So Long Summer!tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.9668452011-09-17T09:18:27-04:002011-11-17T05:12:02-05:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/He says...
I don't know about you, but it seems that the last time I checked my watch it was half-past May, and I was still grumbling about the long, cold winter.
We had just had a conversation with Environment Canada's Dave Phillips who was promising months of glorious days ahead!
Wha' happen!?
Here it is September already, and my summer 'bucket' list has hardly been touched!
I accept the fact that as we get older we tend to gear down both physically and mentally, and that the passage of time appears to accelerate, but this is ridiculous! It seems like Father Time has put the pedal to the metal, and I'm shuffling along at warp speed!
Yikes! Premier Dad, get me a helmet!
While I still get around unassisted ( I'd throw in the abbreviation 'LOL' here, but Carol hates it so I won't), have all my own teeth, a full head hair and pretty good recall, that nomination to the Ole' Farts Club isn't too many years off.
There was a time when it seemed like summers were never-ending, an unlimited number of warm, sunny days that would roll on forever, that dreaded return to school far beyond the horizon. They passed slowly, every one seeming like a week... and the weeks like months.
Sadly, this summer is all but gone. The kids are back in class complaining about the homework load and we bid welcome to autumn on Sept. 23.
Now, if I pick up the pace, I could still achieve what I wanted to this summer. Like fix those Dutch doors in one of the barns, re-do some window frames, slap some paint on this and that... and maybe hold the yard sale I was planning!
But, hey, no rush, it'll all keep till NEXT summer... which I know at the time will seem like a WEEK from now!
Merry Christmas!
She says...
Your right! I can't believe our summer is almost over but I refuse to acknowledge that the older you get the faster it goes.
Time flies because we are so busy that one day runs into the next and then before you know it a months' gone by and then two and three. On a few things I would like to be granted a do-over, just so that I would savour the moment rather than barrelling on to the next chapter.
I remember people saying to me when our children were young that you should enjoy every moment because they grow up so fast. That's so true but it's not until they are older that you really appreciate those words. Like the song says, "Slow down, you move too fast!"
Every year at this time I have a reality check in the form of The Children's Wish Celebration at the Canadian Show Jumping Tournament (on from Sept. 21-25 at the Caledon Equestrian Park, Palgrave, Ontario). I love this event and have had the pleasure of being the MC for a number of years now. It's so uplifting and it gets your priorities back in place if you've been swallowed up by the day to day routine.
We meet families who have had their lives turned upside down by their child's diagnosis of a life threatening illness. For them the priority has been the health and welfare of this most precious gift, but these children have their own hopes and dreams and topping the list is a horse or pony!
The partnership between the equestrian community through the Canadian Show Jumping Tournament and the Children's Wish Foundation will realize another dream this year. It's not to be missed!
To see these children looking at one of Canada's Olympic greats, Ian Millar also known as Captain Canada as he rides into the ring with them is priceless. It's their dream come true!
These children live their lives in the moment. They have to. We can all learn from them.
We'd love to have you join us for this celebration and you can enter the contest to be at our table. Details at themotts.ca.
Paul and Carol Mott can be heard discussing the issues weekdays from 11 until noon streamed through their website themotts.ca.
]]>Last Word on Jack Laytontag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.9406392011-08-29T14:51:51-04:002011-10-29T05:12:02-04:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/He Says,
On a beautiful, sun-drenched, Saturday afternoon a nation bid farewell to NDP boss, John Gilbert "Jack" Layton... the Leader of her Majesty's Official Opposition laid to rest with all the pomp and pageantry that a state funeral offers.
While there were those who felt that Jack wasn't deserving of such a send off, an honour normally reserved for prime ministers, cabinet ministers and governors general, the vast majority of Canadians thought otherwise. According to an Angus-Reid poll, released just prior to the event, a full 81 per cent of us supported the idea!
In waving the qualifier for Jack, it was obvious the prime minister had made the right call. He saw a country in shock, mourning the loss of a popular politician... a man who was liked, and highly respected.
Even though our politics didn't jive, Jack, well to the left, and me, to the far right on many issues, I'm one of the great many who did like the man. As an open-line host, half of the talk team, "The Motts," I had the pleasure of dealing with Jack over the years... and locking horns from time to time.
Jack Layton had strong beliefs, fought hard for them and was always available to do battle. The man made the phones ring... he was great radio!
I don't believe Jack feared taking anyone on, with maybe the possible exception of his wife, Olivia.
A number of years back, we were broadcasting from a cultural event in downtown Toronto and Jack was booked to join us for a few comments. Shortly after rolling up on his beloved bicycle, he took me aside and asked, "Paul, could I bum a cigarette?"
Noting my surprise at the discovery Jack Layton smoked, he quickly explained that it wasn't a regular habit, but something he did enjoy every now and again. He added, even more quickly, that he'd appreciate it if I didn't mention it on the air... that if Olivia found out, he could be in for some grief!
I gave him my word that I would treat it as an "off the record" smoke, adding that as a married man myself, I fully understood not wanting to rile "she, who must be obeyed."
I'm not a big believer in this whole "afterlife" thing, but this, I'm sure of. If Jack is someplace where a voice can be heard, his will be.
He'll make the phones ring!
Bon voyage, Jack.
She Says...
A lot has been said about the kind of grief Canadians have been showing. Is it contrived? Why such public spectacles? Is it a true outpouring of emotion? For some it seemed clear they wanted their 15 minutes of fame and would grieve publicly and put on a performance for the cameras.
But most seemed deeply touched by a man they had never met, who most in this country had never voted for, and, had he achieved the heights of prime minister of the country, many would have been worried. They want to be close to celebrity such as Jack Layton and touch the aura that surrounds him.
My heart broke for his wife, Olivia Chow who stood with others and yet seemed so alone. She took comfort from the people who made the trek to pay their respects as did his children. It seems to me that Olivia has been the epitome of stoicism and dignity, comforting others.
Jacks' was a voice that we all needed to hear, even for those who fought so hard against him. Eventually he tried to bring his party closer to the centre realizing the far left would never appeal to the majority.
Watching what transpired through the week and culminating in what was a very motivating, touching send off, I couldn't help but think that if that were for almost any other politician people would be claiming it was crass politicism. But unless you were over the top in your admiration you were attacked.
As I think more about some of the reaction we've seen, it seems a little sad. So much plays out on the public stage now. Years ago grief was a more private thing with family and friends supporting each other. Today this is how many people connect, at public events, or on Facebook or Twitter.
But to say you can't go on. That all hope has been lost. Really! That was one of the headlines. Give your head a shake! Although Stephen Lewis may have set him up for sainthood with his eulogy, he was a man, a good one, a passionate one, with a certain vision for the country, not a God.
]]>Somalia's Image Deficit: Helping or Hurting Aid?tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.9082122011-07-25T11:06:25-04:002011-09-24T05:12:01-04:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/He says...
In case you haven't noticed, the war-torn state of Somalia has a PR problem... not one of those warm and fuzzy nations, thought fondly of by most.
With a weak, corrupt, UN-backed central government, large areas controlled by pro-al Qaeda Islamist rebels, and ports, home to pirates who terrorize innocents on the high seas, many in the civilized world find it a hard place to warm up too.
And let's not forget those 'Black Hawk Down' images from October '93, the tragic result of a UN effort to restore order to the stricken land, and allow the world to feed its starving people. Those disturbing pictures on the eleven o'clock news of the naked bodies of downed U.S. chopper pilots, dragged through the streets of Mogadishu... assaulted by mobs and eventually set ablaze.
But, no matter, here we go again.
Famine has returned to the Horn of Africa and Somalis are starving, tens of thousands dropping like flies and, as expected, the Western nations are kicking in. It's what we do, regardless of politics or how despicable those in need may be. We're a caring, compassionate lot, blessed with an obligation to alleviate suffering... despite how despised we may be by those with their hands out.
For our part, we in the Great White North are coughing up $50 million relief dollars, in addition to Ottawa matching donations from individual Canucks. This, by the way, (puff up that chest) makes Canada the largest per-capita donor to the relief effort!
Wow! That should score us some big points on the world stage... a humungous hug from the UN!
But let's not forget our new BFF's in communist China and those good folk in the Arab and Islamic states. I'm sure like always, we can count on them to do their part... look for some BIG coin!
Sarcasm aside, we all realize, of course, that throwing millions at the Somalias of this world is like slapping a band-aid on a cancer patient. The only real hope is radical surgery... a costly, painful operation that at least for now, no-one is willing to perform.
But, hey! Cut that cheque. As the saying goes... "If it feels good, do it!"
She Says...
There are pictures that galvanized the world. We couldn't look at them without being moved and feeling a little guilty that just by the chance of birth we happened to be here in a land of plenty. Once again the pictures of little children starving in Somalia break your heart. But this time there are other pictures that come to mind too.
Warlords, pirates, radical Islamists and the dead American soldier dragged through the streets with ordinary Somali's cheering and kicking him then torching his body.
We spoke with Nick Moyer co-ordinator of the Humanitarian Coalition an umbrella group of aid organizations...Care, Oxfam, Plan, and Save the Children. They are pleading with us again to help Somalia.
Our guest did admit that Somalia has "an image deficit". I guess that means it's hard to put together a sympathetic story for the region. Many will remember when the world was there to help and just how badly it turned out. You can hear our discussion on our podcast for July 21.
A child is dying from starvation every six minutes in drought-hit Somalia according to aid workers. In 10 years it wouldn't surprise me if they are asking the world to respond again. Here at home we have aboriginals fleeing their homes because of wildfires. They left with the clothes on their backs. They too need help!
We've been told that summertime pursuits like our fascination with Will and Kate (who raise millions for charity), or fretting over the end of Harry Potter for that matter is something to feel ashamed of when there are people starving.
Of course the famine is more important but insulting our more mundane interests is hardly the way to encourage philanthropy.
Some of the harsh realities of life in Somalia can turn you into a cynic but to look into the eyes of those poor little children makes you just want to get them out of there. Give them a life, some opportunity. That would be a picture to cherish.
The debate continues. Is Canada giving enough? Take part in our poll at www.themotts.ca/
Paul and Carol Mott can be heard discussing the issues weekdays from 11 until noon streamed through their website. Download the Motts App for your Blackberry & listen anytime!
Under section 174 of the Criminal Code of Canada, going bare butt in public or exposing one's self to public view while traipsing about naked on private property, is a criminal offence. I'm paraphrasing of course, but you get the idea... if we can see your 'stuff' you're committing a crime.
While most would agree this is a good law, there are those who oppose it and claim it's unconstitutional!
One such person is Brian Coldin of Bracebridge, Ontario.
A self-described nudist, Mr. Coldin is fighting charges after his eye-popping appearance at two drive-thrus... the window workers at a Tim Horton's and A&W, treated to the sight of Coldin in his birthday suit!
Nader Hasan, one of Coldin's lawyers, told the court:
"The purpose of the criminal law is to protect us from harm, not to protect the sensibilities of the most prudish among us. These laws violate freedom of expression and they are overboard such as to punish all kinds of conduct that is completely harmless and shouldn't be criminal."
I don't know about you, and I'm no prude, but the sight of some dude out for his evening constitutional, 'pendulum' a-sway for all to behold, is something I can live without!
Now, there are those who will tell you that the human body, no matter what shape it's in, is a beautiful thing... Horse pucky!
It could be said, that some human bodies are beautiful things, but sadly, the reality is, most are not! In fact, upon viewing a few of the less fortunate, you might beseech your maker to strike you blind! A glimpse of Brad Pitt in the buff may put a smile on a woman's face, but encountering someone like me in the raw could be terribly traumatic!
Should Mr. Coldin win his case and our nudity laws are struck down, I, for one, for your sake, will continue to cover up. It's not that I'm terribly bashful -- just considerate.
Mr. Coldin returns to court on Sept. 28 when a date will be set for judgement.
She Says...
We are on the same page on this one. I think it's a waste of the court's time and our money hearing this case. We spoke with Coldin's lawyer Nader Hassan on our show July 6. ( Hear the podcast at www.themotts.ca/listen.php) A wonderful guest with a great sense of humour, Hassan did feel there was a serious issue of freedom of expression at play here. Far be it from me to curb that, but I would say there is a time and place to express yourself. Not in the drive-thru where the servers are usually teens. Personally I wouldn't want some naked man outside my child's school either. Hassan did say that there could be reasonable restrictions placed on where you could be nude. So, walking near the daycare put your pants on, in the park take them off, the corner store? What will happen to no shirt, no shoes, no service?
Remember, Gwen Jacobs of Guelph, Ontario who decided she wanted to go topless and win the right for all of us some years back? Not something we were clamoring for. Try fighting for equal pay, helping to break the glass ceiling, paying the same as men for dry cleaning and I could go on. You get my drift. There are far more important issues deserving court time and money.
As beautiful a country as this one is, it's not conducive to living life in the nude either. We have horse flies, deer flies, black flies and mosquitoes just to name a few! You are definitely a daredevil if you're running around naked in Canada.
Once in a while it's an inadvertent glimpse that gets everyone talking. Most of you will be aware of a picture caught at the end of the royal tour. It was a windy day in Calgary when cameras caught an unintentional flash of the royal fanny. A little embarrassing for Kate, but she certainly left a lasting impression. (If that were me, looking like that, I would be proud. Wills will likely frame it!) That debate is over the propriety of the photographer's choice to post the show. You can take part in our poll on the issue on our website.
Paul and Carol Mott can be heard discussing the issues weekdays from 11 a.m. until noon streamed through their website themotts.ca.
]]>Time Flies for Parents of Graduatestag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.8898712011-07-05T07:50:35-04:002011-09-04T05:12:01-04:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/He Says...
Four years ago our daughter Jessica gave us one of those 'proud parent' moments. There have been more since, but this was a big one.
Clad in her robe and hood, she marched across a stage at Guelph University and received her degree... the first on my side of the family to achieve such an accomplishment. For some time later I'm sure I bored many with yet another 'my kid' story.
Well, recently we got to relive that experience as our son Garret followed in his big sister's foot steps... and I scored my second diploma!
I say "I," because they are mine! I laid claim to them when the kids were young.
Whenever they were granted a privilege, received something special, I would remind them of what they owed me... a university degree.
Both promised I'd get it, and they've kept their word.
Now, on our living room wall, hang two handsomely-framed university degrees! Should you ever visit, odds are pretty good I'll proudly point them out.
All parents, I like to believe, want their kids to far exceed whatever they have accomplished in life... I have little doubt that our two will do just that.
The other day, as I stood admiring my two diplomas, my mind wandered back. Back to the little tow-headed girl who was crazy about horses and the boy band, New Kids on the Block. And the small red-headed dude who loved his video games and whose sole goal in life was to be an NHL goaltender... preferably for the Toronto Maple Leafs.
I miss them.
If only, I thought, I could make a deal with the gods, and turn back the hands of time... I'd swap those prized degrees in a second.
Unfortunately, for all parents, time marches but in one direction... double time.
She Says...
Graduation! What a moment of pride but there is something else there too, a nostalgia for the time when he was just a little tot who needed our guidance and wanted to hold our hand when new things were upon him. I have to say, mixed in with this great joy that he'd made it through (and so had we) was a little regret that it had all gone by so quickly. The four years he was at Guelph University were a blur. (That's likely as much a factor of the tears that were about to spill as the time that flew by.)
After getting his first year degree in partying 101, it was time to straighten up and get to work and he did. In graduating with distinction he proved to us that our mantras of "buckle down" and "put your nose to the grindstone" and a few other universal parent-isms were worthwhile.
It wasn't long ago that he was telling me that kissing him at the bus stop was out. If I wanted to kiss him good bye each morning it had to be before we left the house. He'd still hold my hand but kissing was not happening. I shed a tear then too.
We spend the early part of our lives wishing we were older, able to hit those all important markers sooner. We spend the rest of it wishing time would slow down, so we could savour the really sweet ones.
Thank you to a wonderful University that prepared both our children for whatever life has to offer them. From day one when the welcoming committee took each of them under their wing helped them move into the dorm and passed out tissues to parents and gently sent us on our way, to the graduation ceremony when they wished them well as they embark on a new exciting chapter in their lives so much better prepared for it after spending four years with them.
Barbara Coloroso author of the best seller, Kids Are Worth It, is a delightful woman who has been a guest on our talk show many times. She has often said our job as parents is to give our children roots and wings. I thought about that as I sat in Memorial Hall and watched our son. No one ever said it would be easy or that you wouldn't cry when they spread them.
Paul and Carol Mott can be heard discussing the issues weekdays from 11 until noon streamed through their website themotts.ca.
]]>Rob Ford Has a Better Idea? Picks Cottage Over Pride Paradetag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.8852532011-06-28T08:03:47-04:002011-08-28T05:12:01-04:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/He says...
If I were the Mayor of Toronto (frightening thought) and had a cosy cottage up in the Muskokas, what would I be doing this July 1 weekend, the first long weekend of the summer? Chances are I'd be there with my family.
Yes, I would have that invite to take part in the big Gay Pride Parade, but I might need a break, a little down time, and the annual family get together would be just the ticket.
I wouldn't be dodging the parade because I'm 'homophobic,' as I'm sure some would claim, as I have gay friends, support gay rights, including gay marriage. No, on that particular weekend it would simply be a case of putting family first.
I suppose I would be shirking my 'duty' to some extent, but come on, would the world end if I didn't show!
The lads in chaps and Dykes on Bikes wouldn't give my absence a second thought... and the parade, as always, would be a huge success!
My critics, I'm sure, would play a little politics with my choice, try a little arm twisting and name calling, hoping to bully me, but it's doubtful I'd change my mind. I'd sooner anger them than disappoint the family.
It's highly unlikely, that on my death bed, I'd have regrets about missing one parade... but I might regret missing that weekend.
Fortunately, for the city of Toronto, I'm not the mayor and it's not a call I have to make... but Rob Ford does.
While he has chosen the cottage, he may be forced to rethink his decision in the face of mounting protests.
I sincerely hope that come that July weekend, he's enjoying the call of the Huntsville Loons... and ignoring those in T.O.
She Says...
Well I hope you are wrong, and Paul what you do doesn't matter to the city of Toronto. Rob Ford so far is sticking to his decision, albeit a bad one, not to participate in any Gay Pride celebrations. I can hear it now if does reconsider: "He bowed to political correctness," "They forced him to do it," rather than he had a change of heart and decided that an event like this that brings in thousands of people and enormous revenue to the city was worthy of an appearance by the mayor.
The Gay Pride parade takes place on the Canada Day long weekend this year. I'd think that the mayor would want to make an appearance at that one too. Take his family, and his children will learn how proud he is to be the leader of such a diverse city as the ceremony takes place.
He's the mayor. It is what he signed up for. You pitch your city, you take part in very large events you welcome people, and pray they spend money so with more revenue you can take a greater burden off the taxpayers. Isn't that what Ford is all about? It doesn't mean that you personally endorse every event but you're the mayor.
There is an upside (which clearly he knows because he ran for that office) and a downside to being mayor. Part of the downside is the demands on your time are huge and they may conflict with some of your families traditions but he knew that, and his family knew too!
I don't believe that Mayor Rob Ford is a homophobe. He has said things in the past that some haven't liked but that doesn't make him someone who fears or hates gays.
Okay and the chaps? A complaint over the years at the parade has been the exhibitionism displayed by a small group that for god knows what reason is allowed to walk around in chaps with nothing underneath. I wear chaps too. I'm an equestrian but we always wear something underneath. Too much chafing!
Rob Ford has lost an opportunity here to show that he is the mayor of all the people. He had said on the night of his election, "To the people that didn't vote for me I will work hard to earn your trust and I will deliver the change you can be proud of." I hope he changes his mind.
If I were a member of his family I would certainly understand if he were to beg off the "family weekend" because he had some pressing city functions to attend and try to find another during the summer when the schedule wasn't so demanding because after all he is the mayor.
The debate continues.
Paul and Carol Mott can be heard discussing the issues weekdays from 11a.m. until noon streamed through their website themotts.ca. Joining them Tuesday, former Sportsnet host Damian Goddard, who was the focus of a previous blog on his firing. For a podcast of the show, click here.
]]>Vancouver Rioters: What Punishment Would Fit the Crime? He Says, She Saystag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.8802762011-06-22T09:13:58-04:002011-08-22T05:12:02-04:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/He Says...
I've always viewed Vancouver as a beautiful, welcoming city, the big jewel of our Canadian West Coast. And what transpired post-game of the seventh tilt in the Stanley Cup finals, did nothing to damage that image.
The riot that followed the Bruins cup win was no more Vancouver's fault than it was the NHL's.
Unfortunately, like all cities, Vancouver has an A-list of a-holes and last Wednesday night they were in fine form!
They wreaked havoc on the downtown core; cars burned, stores looted and a number of people wound up in hospital.
The next day, words like 'shame' and 'embarrassing' were employed in headlines and the scribes queried as to who was to blame. At whom should we point the finger?
The obvious answer, of course, is the rioters. They, and they alone are responsible for their deeds. Not the City, not the cops, nor the parents of latch-key kids.
But if we must find fault beyond the perpetrators, what about the courts? A seeming lack of will on the part of our judges to come down hard on idiots like this.
For crimes like assault, arson and vandalism, the law allows for severe penalties. Maybe it's time they were doled out. It's time to send a message. Heavy fines and a healthy stretch in the hoosegow can be a deterrent.
Now, some will argue that we shouldn't be too harsh because most of the rioters were young, and the young make mistakes.
What a load! Burning and looting are conscious choices, not mistakes! They knew they were doing wrong!
The bottom line is Vancouver has nothing to be ashamed of. It's still a great city!
What should make ALL of us blush, is a system too timid to dispense real justice.
No-one's been punished yet, but I'll say it now... I told you so.
She says...
What a pathetic sight that was. The golden glow of the Olympic experience is well behind us. What a shame! Who do you blame for this? Were they hockey hooligans or a bunch of malcontents just looking for any excuse to create havoc?
As you looked at many of the clean-cut kids smashing windows, starting fires and flipping vehicles did you hold your breath wondering if you might see your child in the melee? How embarrassed would you be if you identified them?
Some families have turned in their children after seeing them on television mugging for the cameras after their disgusting displays. They did the right thing.
What should their penalty be? If that were my kid, he would spend a long time working to pay back the money for the damage he did. He would apologize to the owners of the stores damaged and write a letter to the city.
Hopefully our complete disappointment in his behaviour, for the lack of respect he showed for his city would weigh heavily on him. His regret and remorse would carry on long after all the talking heads on radio and television had finished eviscerating him.
One is the 17-year-old son of a doctor who is so very sorry for what he did. He is a water polo star who has been suspended and there are calls for him to lose his scholarship, too. Are the penalties too harsh? I don't think so, he has to learn and so do the others that your privilege won't protect you from consequences. His father is paying the price too, having had to suspend his medical practice because of threats.
And one other thing, standing around and videoing this for posterity was just as bad. For the thousands who will say they had no part in it. You were the audience for the fools. They played to you, they played for you. So it's your fault too.
The fallout continues and so does the debate. Paul and Carol Mott can be heard discussing the issues weekdays from 11 until noon streamed through their website themotts.ca.
]]>Squeegee Clean? He Says...She Says...tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.8751092011-06-13T12:14:51-04:002011-08-13T05:12:01-04:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/Paul Says...
The light turns red and suddenly they're upon you... like a zombie NASCAR pit crew, they pour onto the road, providing intimidated motorists with an unsolicited 'service.'
They're the infamous 'squeegee kids,' a bunch of lazy, ne'er-do-wells armed with buckets of brown water and black-sponged squeegees.
They muddy your windshield, maybe scratch your car and assault your wipers and aerial. And for their 'work' they want to be paid. Say no, and you run the risk of retaliation... anything from foul verbal abuse, to a keying.
In Toronto this week, a man waved one of them off. When ignored, he got out of his car, and was beaten about the head... the young 'service' provider adding blood to his swampy sponge. He's fine, but he's lucky... it could have been worse.
Should he have gotten out? No. Police advise, play it smart, and stay in your vehicle.
But should he and the rest of us be forced to endure these pushy punks? Absolutely not... and Toronto's Deputy-Mayor, Doug Holyday agrees... he wants them gone... outlawed!
Other cities have run them off, and if the political will is there, Toronto can do it too.
In a state of aggravation, I once surprised one of the little weasels, driving off when the light turned green... sprawling him across my hood.
While Carol cussed me out, screaming, I came close to hurting him, I enjoyed the thumbs-up from other drivers.
Besides, 'close,' only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades.
Go get 'em Deputy-Mayor!
Carol Says....
Well it's true. There were a few choice words uttered when you nearly drove the kid over. For their safety and ours, they have to go. Roads in Toronto aren't safe for law abiding pedestrians, when there is an average of six to seven struck in Toronto every day, let alone those you would like to drive off the road.
Doug Holyday says that it's time to get the squeegee kids and panhandlers out of the city. The Deputy Mayor of Toronto joined us on The Motts on June 8 (you can hear a podcast of the show) He has tried for years to move them out, but believes that only now is there the political will to do it.
The squeegee kids seem to be a different breed than panhandlers who are often mentally ill and really look down and out. Many have a chip on their shoulder and are aggressive.
What surprised me when we first came to Toronto was that the panhandlers seemed so invisible to most people walking the street. How can a civilized society allow those citizens to fall so hard and fend for themselves, when it's obvious they're incapable of doing so? Shame on us!
Just as an aside. Do you grab your camera as the first order of business when you've been assaulted? That's what the victim did in the case Paul referred to. Personally I think I would have been holding my head together and trying to clean off the blood. It's a good thing he did as that will be evidence in court... it just wouldn't have been my first order of business.
Now I'm not one that feels any great affinity for my car. It gets me from point A to point B and isn't that clean most of the time. It's sort of like my rolling purse. But still, if I haven't asked you to clean it, don't.
To the squeegee kids, next time we meet just hope I'm the one behind the wheel, not Paul!
The debate continues.
Paul and Carol Mott can be heard discussing the issues weekdays from 11 until noon streamed through their website TheMotts.ca.
]]>Rihanna's 'Man Down' Video: He Says, She Saystag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.8708632011-06-06T09:52:38-04:002011-08-06T05:12:01-04:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/Paul Says...
It's not a great piece of music, but it does send a message... a strong one! Abusive men could pay the ultimate price.
R&B/hip-hop artist, Rihanna has released a new video that has media watchdogs screaming foul.
The title of the video is 'Man Down.' In it, a woman (Rihanna) approaches a man in a crowd, points a gun and shoots him in the back. With the man's body lying in a pool of blood, horrified on-lookers scatter for cover.
As the story unfolds, and the woman belts out a confession to her mother, we learn the motive for the shooting. Revenge. The man, apparently her boyfriend, had assaulted her the night before.
Shortly after "Man Down" premiered on Black Entertainment Television, the 'guardians of good' were all over it, demanding that BET pull it off the air.
One who sounded off was Paul Porter, former BET programmer and co-founder of Industry Ears. He described the video as "an inexcusable, shock-only, shoot-and-kill theme song." He said "I have never witnessed such a cold, calculated execution of murder in prime time."
I can only assume Mr. Porter doesn't watch a lot of television.
Personally, I didn't find the video all that shocking. But then again I've always believed that men who abuse women deserve what they get. While I don't condone vigilante justice (in most cases), I have little sympathy for bullying cowards who prey on the weak.
Abused women have every right to protect themselves when the system can't. Restraining orders don't stop bullets, deflect knives or fists.
Fortunately, most abusive men, like Rihanna's ex, rapper Chris Brown, get the message and stay away.
I see 'Man Down' as a heads up, a warning to all the heroes out there who take pleasure in slapping their women around. If you do it, you're taking a chance.
She may prefer to be tried by 12... than carried by six.
Carol says...
Believe me I wouldn't be holding any pity parties for an abusive spouse who meets a nasty end, but that's not the way we do things. We have laws that are there to punish the perpetrators and a system that is there to help rehabilitate them. For the most egregious of offenses, if the system does its job offenders won't be out on the streets for a very long time.
Obviously Rihanna knew this would get attention for her. Her history with Chris Brown guaranteed it.
This video has trivialized the situation some women have endured for years before they are pushed to the point of killing their partner. When their children are finally threatened, or a restraining order hasn't worked for the third time and they know the police won't be able to offer them full-time protection, their fear overcomes the reluctance to take the law into their own hands.
This may be a case of Rihanna working through some very difficult times and putting it to music. Artists often do that. It may be cathartic to envision your abuser dead. But, she sent out a tweet saying it would have a strong underlying message for girls like her.
What does that mean? Her character had regrets for killing him, or that killing him was the right thing to do? You may want to kill him, but don't? That was a cold-blooded premeditated murder when there was no threat against her. If that video were the whole story, the woman portrayed would end up behind bars.
With anger management, some abusers have changed their behaviour. Sometimes just being out of a relationship with a person who brings out the worst in you makes all the difference. So there are a number of steps in advance of killing the abuser. And when you leave, you don't go back like Rihanna did. There is a responsibility on the part of the abused to get out and stay out, as difficult as that may be.
To take a song like this (all of three minutes showing one instance of assault) and use it as an anthem for battered women is dangerous.
The debate continues....
Paul and Carol Mott can be heard discussing the issues weekdays from 11 a.m. until noon, streamed through their website www.themotts.ca.
]]>Unjust Dismissal?... He Says... She Says...tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.8687732011-05-30T13:37:59-04:002011-07-30T05:12:01-04:00Carol Motthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-mott/Paul says...
A few weeks back, NHL bad boy Sean Avery was in the news again, not for being an idiot this time, but for something totally unexpected... something "Un-Avery", like. Sean, it seems, had taken up a cause... advocating for gay marriage!
In public service announcements for "New Yorkers for Marriage Equality," the rebellious Ranger opines, "I treat everyone the way I expect to be treated, and that applies to marriage. Committed couples should be able to marry the person they love. Join me in supporting marriage equality".
While many were shocked to learn that Sean may care about something other than Sean, others, like NHL player agent, Todd Reynolds, took exception to his point of view. Risking being busted by the politically correct constabulary, he tweeted, "Very sad to read Sean Avery's misguided support of same-gender 'marriage.' Legal or not, it will always be wrong."
As Reynolds endured the boos and hisses, and was dealt the 'homophobe card,' another celebrity jumped in to the act... Sportsnet host, Damien Goddard! He tweeted, "I completely and whole-heartedly support Todd Reynolds and his support for the traditional and TRUE meaning of marriage."
More boos and hisses! We invited Damien to join us on our show, but he declined, saying he was staying low and moving fast... maybe some other time. We were disappointed, but understood. He had a job, and people to answer too. A few days later he was fired. How sad.
How sad that the rights we once enjoyed in this so-called free and democratic society, have been so easily trumped by political correctness... fall in line, or fall out!
Disagree if you will, be offended if you must, but Reynolds and Goddard should be allowed their views without fear of harassment or persecution.
Do we not recall the words attributed to that famous French philosopher, Francois-Marie Arouet... pen name 'Voltaire?'
Apparently not.
Carol says...
On this one, Paul and I pretty much agree! As an individual you have the right to hold any opinion you like. It's one of the freedoms we enjoy in this country but, if your opinion shared liberally and publicly begins to affect your employer there may be consequences.
Damien Goddard, should have the right to say how he feels. He just said that he doesn't believe in gay marriage. So! That is his opinion. The venom and vitriol that was spewed in his direction was hateful.
If you are hired for your opinions you shouldn't be fired for them if they aren't the popular ones or don't reflect being in lockstep with management. Look at Don Cherry! It really does take an employer with backbone to support their staff when complaints are lodged. We know what that's like and over the years have worked for very supportive employers and others not so much.
I think where Todd Reynolds dove offside was in a follow up interview to his tweet where he says. "But the majority, I think, of Canadians would say that they don't agree with gay marriage -- that man and woman were created to be married, not man and man or man and horse, you know?"
Why would he suggest a consensual relationship between two same-sex individuals is comparable to bestiality! Please! It drives me nuts when people do that.
Will we only tolerate speech we agree with and opinions that match our own? We will be living in a very boring country where real conversations take place away from the spotlight, debate will disappear and only government sanctioned discussions will be allowed.
When what you do for a living is share your opinion, you become pretty touchy when you see others losing their livelihood for sharing theirs. There may be a day when you disagree with me. Nah, more likely Paul!
In any event I hope you'll call to enhance not stifle the discussion.
The debate continues.
Paul and Carol Mott can be heard discussing the issues weekdays from 11a.m. until noon streamed through their website www.themotts.ca.