Erica Diamond

5 Steps to Get Off the Fence, Get Unstuck and Thrive

2013-05-15T21:52:19-04:00

It is with anticipation, excitement, a ton of nerves and great hope, that I announce the launch of something that has lived in my heart for a VERY long time.

I will be honest with you today. There is no fancy PR firm. No marketing pitch prepared. In fact, there's no big plan. None. Only a seed. Only a spark. This is an infant, coming into the world with very little experience. This baby is small, and my hope is that you will help me raise it. My greatest wish is that you will connect with this Movement, and be inspired to take action in your own life. To get off that fence. To get unstuck and take the leap to thrive.

I give you, the Get Off The Fence Movement. Please turn up your speakers, and make sure your settings are on HD.

Along with this video, please visit the new site GetOffTheFenceMovement.com and TAKE THE PLEDGE to Get Off The Fence, and commit to your goals. Commit to thriving in your life. If there is anything we've learned from witnessing the recent tragedy in Boston, it's that life is too short to be living an unfulfilled existence. The time is now.

Next, just as these people above shared their story, I urge you to SHARE YOUR STORY with our Facebook community. Here you will connect with other fence jumpers, IN REAL TIME, all the time. Upload YOUR poster today: http://Facebook.com/GetOffTheFenceMovement. This Facebook community is where you will check in with others who are also working toward their goals, discuss challenges, triumphs and more. We are building a judgment-free zone to share your story, and motivate others. So don't forget to share your ON THE FENCE/OFF THE FENCE poster, video, inspirational quote or message, or anything that either holds you accountable to your goals, or helps someone else. Because sharing your story is the first step to taking the leap...

So, if you've been perched on the fence getting splinters, unable to make a decision, paralyzed and afraid to take the jump toward your happiness, I am coming for you. I'm coming for you with the frying pan! Today, you're getting your mojo on. Today, you're making plans. Today, you're deciding to get off that fence.

Let's get right to it.

Here are the 5 Steps To Get Off The Fence. It's time to make a plan to get happy and thriving:

Step 1 -- Determine Where You're Stuck

The first step to get off the fence and live a fulfilling existence, is self-awareness. You have to know where you're blocked, stuck or not thriving. This takes time alone, and the ability to be still and quiet to think about where you are not happy. Exercises like making two lists: One list called CHANGES/IMPROVEMENTS I WANT TO MAKE, and the other list is called the OFF THE FENCE/HAPPINESS ACTION PLAN. So, for example, if you want to start your own business, on the left hand side, you would write, "Start my own business," and on the right hand side, it would read, "Moonlight my start-up on the side, working ninety minutes at night and four hours on the weekends until I am revenue bearing and can quit my day-job to focus on my business full time."

The trick is, the more detailed your two lists are, the better. Post your list in a visible spot. It holds you both accountable, and keeps your eye on the prize.

Step 2 -- Commit to Doing the Work

Know that nothing will work unless you do. My grandfather used to say, "Nobody ever drowned in their own sweat." It was a borrowed expression, but it always stuck with me. Happiness doesn't come without a commitment to happiness. Without work. Your happiness is a choice. You getting what you want out of life is YOUR DECISION. And the same holds true for your unhappiness. So, commit to doing the work. Whatever your goals are, commit to hustling to make them happen.

Know that sitting perched on the fence is paralysis. To live stuck is like residing in purgatory. Most people stay stuck because it's a comfortable place to not have to commit and see something through. But you can't manifest your highest self without making a decision, no matter how small. It's about that first baby step. You MUST take it.

Step 3 -- Expand Your Skills

Yes. Expand your skills and commit to learning something new. Often we stay stuck and on the fence because we don't have the necessary skills and knowledge needed to move forward. So acquire that knowledge and expand your skills. This could mean taking up a new hobby, enrolling in an accounting course, volunteering, or simply giving away your expertise for free. What I mean here is, if you want to become a PAID speaker for example, speaking for free is a great way to get your name our there, and gain experience and expertise. If you want to start a consulting company, offer coaching or consulting for FREE at the beginning, both to get your feet wet, AND to build a customer base.

Expanding your skills does not only mean enrolling in courses and acquiring new knowledge, it also means putting the current knowledge you have to work.

Step 4 -- Get Out There and Meet NEW People

Commit to taking up a new hobby, volunteering, getting more involved in your kids' school, or joining a networking group -- for the purpose of meeting NEW people. What happens is, we often meet the people we need through the law of attraction. For example, I was sitting on the fence about developing a mobile app for my readers and audience. I started to ask my networks if they know anyone who develops apps, and I put it out into the universe. Simply because I reached out to new people and asked them for help, I acquired more knowledge, it helped me get off the fence, moved me me closer to my goals, and voila, the app now lives.

If you allow yourself to be open, and join places like your local Chamber of Commerce, BNI, writing groups, or just traveling alone, or finding a mentor, I promise, you will attract the people you need who will help propel you closer to your goals.

Step 5 -- Make More Time for the Things You Love To Do

When you do the things you love to do, it helps boost your serotonin levels (the happiness hormone), which aids in fighting depression, and other mood disorders. Doing the things you love can put you in a state of euphoria, lowering your cortisol levels (the bad hormone), which clears your mind and allows you to make good, quality decisions. For me, I love spending time with my girlfriends -- we laugh, I mean gut-busting laughter, and it does my mind and body good. I also love spending time alone in a bookstore, perusing the aisles with a coffee. It calms me and regroups me. What is it for you?

When you do what you love, you are being good to yourself. You are spoiling yourself. And spoiling yourself is your right. Feeling good allows you to make clear decisions. Do it, guilt-free.

In the same vein, I cannot stress the importance of these four factors in sharpening your mind for effective and strategic decision making: good restorative sleep, an active lifestyle, healthy nutrition and meditation.

So I wish for all of you, to jump the fence as soon as possible. I hope you'll join me.

And I can finally announce -- You wanna get off the fence? THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT! Yes, please download the Get Off The Fence FREE APP on iTunes, and start getting off the fence TODAY. Create your custom OFF THE FENCE plan to track and monitor your goals, get daily inspiration, video, and more.

My goal is for this Movement to spread like a virus -- you get off the fence, and grab your sister, your mother, your husband, your friend, your child with you. It's like the CHEESE TOUCH in Diary of a Wimpy Kid -- once you've been touched, you have the 'cheese touch,' and it passes to every person you touch. My goal is through YOUR STORIES, you will inspire someone else who is stuck in their life, to take the leap with you. Because once you know that someone else can do it, it makes it more real for yourself to get off the fence and just do it.

I hope you'll join us.

With love and gratitude,
Erica

38 Things I've Learned in 38 Years

2013-04-06T00:00:00-04:00

Well, I'm turning 38 this weekend. Not quite sure when THAT happened?! I'm pretty sure it was just yesterday that I kissed my husband for the first time at 19 years old while watching lesbians make out at Beaver Lake (a park here in Montreal). But clearly, it's NOT yesterday. Not even close. I've got more wrinkles, more cellulite, and honeys... more wisdom.

So as an ode to approaching 40, and having you girls (and yes, a few guys) by my side, I thought I'd share the 38 things I've learned in my 38 years. I've learned these life lessons from my friends, family, and from you.

So here goes. In honor of turning 38, what I've learned:

1. I've learned that your name will stick with you for life. Make sure that name is good -- and synonymous with integrity, kindness and truth.

2. I've learned that you must be a person of your word. This comes back to integrity. Your word must be honorable.

3. I've learned that you must know what you need, and give it to yourself whenever possible. That means eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, regardless of what any clock tells you the time is. When you listen to your body, good things happen to it.

4. I've learned to always cut the cloth according to the measure. If you don't know what that means, Google it.

5. I've learned that if I do the same thing, day in and day out, I become a zombie walker of this earth, and not a liver of this earth. Passion and happiness comes from trying new things, venturing scarily into the unknown, and pushing yourself to your own personal limits. Walt Disney said it best: "It's kind of fun to do the impossible." Try the impossible. Just try it once.

6. I've learned that God doesn't give us what we want, he gives us what we need. Every time. And although it may not seem like it in the moment, and we may be frustrated or angry, in the end, it's always what we need to grow. And I've also learned we shouldn't cry over spilled milk. Learn the lesson and then move on, but don't stay stuck in the past. It's a sure way to live the most unfulfilled and immobilized existence.

"So, ask every failure--and this is what I do with every failure, every crisis, every difficult time -- I say, what is this here to teach me? And as soon as you get the lesson, you get to move on. If you really get the lesson, you pass and you don't have to repeat the class. If you don't get the lesson, it shows up wearing another pair of pants -- or skirt -- to give you some remedial work." -- Oprah

7. I learned the true meaning of life the day I walked into Canyon Ranch on a retreat with Dove. The sign hanging in the front said, "BREATHE DEEPLY and appreciate the moment. Living in the moment could be the meaning of life." I've come to accept that as truth.

"All you have is this moment. BE IN IT FULLY. When you are driving, be present, and focus on your driving. When you are having dinner with your family, be there. Don't be on your business, or on tomorrow's agenda. Be at the dinner table, with your family. Because otherwise, it's as if you were not there. It's as if the experience never happened." -- Wise words someone once told me

8. I've learned that it's OK to try bad things, just don't make a habit out of it. Like when I tried smoking at eight years old and my dad bought me a pack of Craven A's for a Kibbitz! Again, if you don't know what Kibbitz means, Google it.

9. I learned that 400 degrees is the right temperature to cook your food, from chicken to steak to fish to potatoes to ANYTHING. And to stick a thermometer in your food, and pull it out not before, or after 165 degrees. That's your magic number.

10. I've learned it's always important to have fun and be silly. The funnier and sillier, the happier.

11. I've learned not to take no for an answer. I have never taken no for an answer if I believe in something, and it has served me well. Very well. Fight for what you want. And don't you be lazy! Never be afraid to DREAM BIG, and put it out into the Universe. If you work hard enough, the Universe will listen.

12. I've learned to always know your financial situation at any given time. Know what you have. Know what you need. Knowledge is power.

13. I've learned that if my hubby and I go too long without sex, wonky things happen to our marriage.

14. I learned that a great massage, a great glass of wine, a great song, and a great workout are a few of life's greatest treats. And again, as I pointed out in #13, great sex doesn't hurt either.

15. I've learned that success comes at a cost- there is no free lunch. I will leave it at that.

16. I've learned that self-esteem and confidence are not bad words. They're important words. It takes a lot of work to get there, but it's the foundation to thriving.

17. I've learned not to spend next week's paycheck.

18. I've learned to always face the music, no matter how dark it may sound.

19. I've learned that family comes first. Period. No exceptions to the rule.

20. I've learned to love what you have, and have what you love.

21. I've learned that music is often the perfect solution to a bad mood.

22. I've learned that the line is thin between pushing your child to the limit in order to not raise a quitter, and pulling back so as not to turn them off from life. I struggle daily.

23. I've learned that you can never kiss your kids too often. And I've also learned that nurturing your child is the way to raise a winner.

24. I've learned you can't just live off the fat of the land. It's crucial to give back. Give back in any way you can... with time, with ideas, with suggestions, with money, with WHATEVER. Give back. Give what you can, and much more will be received.

25. I've learned that change, while scary, is necessary to grow. We must adapt to change, and swim with the flow of the current, not against it. I've learned it's important to venture outside of your own backyard.

26. I've learned that every one of us was put on this earth for a purpose. Find that purpose. Whether you're a trust fund baby or a homeless man living on the streets, we all have a purpose.

27. I've learned that inspiration comes in the rarest of forms. I have learned much from my little children, much from people I don't particularly like, and much from severely troubled souls. Inspiration comes in many forms... find it.

28. I've learned to love the haters. We all have naysayers, or doubters, or haters. Their words can hurt us, haunt us, and tickle our insecurities. The important thing in life, is to take from it, learn from it, but NOT let it stop you. Haters and doubters often make us want to quit or even question our entire life plan. I can only say from experience, just work hard, and prove them wrong. Success comes from doing what you love, and working at it daily. Listen to the critics, because there's much to be learned, but follow your heart. And trust your instincts.

29. As I told you above, I've learned never to take no for an answer, but then again, I've learned: Don't beat a dead horse. The key is to know when to walk away. That just comes with age, practice and experience.

30. I've learned to always give 100 per cent. Give 110, 120 whenever possible.

31. I've learned that I have a love affair with music and food. If my hearing goes early in life, it will be worth it. And if I put on 5 more pounds but ate everything I loved, well, that'll be just fine. Life is about doing what you love.

32. I've learned that every day will not always be great.

33. I've learned that Life is too short to put up with bullshit. I now do the things I want to do, when I want to do them. I'm impatient with small talk, and sometimes it may come across as rude, but, well... um.. I don't know.

34. I've learned that we must speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves. Represent them. Help them.

35. I've learned we all have to be accountable for our own actions. It's easiest to blame others and not take personal responsibility for our own actions. But at the end of the day, it's the only way to live free.

36. I've learned that we should plan like girl scouts, but always leave room for the unexpected. Sometimes it's the unplanned that bears the best fruit. So therefore, I often go where the wind takes me.

37. I've learned that trying to keep up with the Joneses is a recipe for misery. Stop paying attention so much attention to what others have, and focus on your own path. Look at you, you beautiful thing! You've got the world by the balls! Now, go make your own shit happen. ;)

38. I've learned I still have SO MUCH more to learn.

Many blessings to you. Thank you for spending another birthday with me. I'd love to know, what have you learned about life?

Leaping in

2013-03-12T17:07:39-04:00

I'm leaning in, Sheryl Sandberg. Oh no excuse me, I'm leaping in. I'm jumping in. I'm diving in! Why? Because for all the critics who say Sheryl Sandberg is too "out of touch with reality," "too rich," or "too down on women," I say she is one of the best role models we have for working women right now, and so, you bet I'm leaning in.

And while I'm not second in command of a Fortune 500 company, I don't live in a 9,000-square-foot home, nor earn $30 million per year as does Sheryl Sandberg, I ask you, haters: Why would we not take career advice from a woman at the top? Someone who has built everything she has with her own bare hands. A Harvard graduate who worked her way to the top, and earned that seat. A mother who leaves work at 5:30 p.m. to be a present parent. Someone who's telling us women, that we must lean in, step up, and fight for our seat at the table. That women cannot have it all, but we sure as hell can fight to try and create a meaningful life of happiness, balance and passion.

Call me out of touch too, and I will be blunt here, but don't you find that it's those who want the world, but don't want to work for it, which are the most critical? Yes, after working with thousands of women around the world as a success coach, speaker, author, and entrepreneur, I can tell you, it's the people who are out there risking and failing, who judge others the least. Anyone who risks, is humbled by life.

But I digress...

My goal today isn't to rehash all the issues newsmakers have been examining the past 24 hours -- it is simply to remind us that yes, we women do "leave before we leave." That yes, we women do "lean out." I leaned out when I sold a thriving company in 2006. I couldn't hack it. I leaned out, and threw in the towel on my successful career, because I just wouldn't cut myself any slack, and wouldn't struggle as, aghast, an imperfect leader and imperfect mother. I leaned out.

But thankfully, in 2009, I leaned back in. And now, as I dive in to most everything I do, I echo Sheryl Sandberg's message. We women cannot have it all; you tell me one person who has absolutely everything. Perfectionism is an illusion of the mind. I'm here to represent the women who think they can try and have it all, and then end up in therapy on the brink of burnout (as I did) when they realize that's virtually impossible.

But here's what smart women know: Most of the successful "jugglers" understand that things don't come together at the same time. Meaning, the three components of balance and success -- fulfilling relationships, personal rejuvenation and meaningful work -- rarely happen at the same time, and without stress. Superwoman may be able to juggle 10 things in a movie, but that's just what she is... a fictional character. Life is both a juggle and a struggle, and it doesn't only take a village to raise a child. It takes a village to raise a woman.

Therefore, we must lean in, together. We must lean in, and lift each other up. We must be each other's cheerleaders. And we must fight. We must not be afraid to fight and succeed, fight and fail. For I know with certainty, that with every failure, comes great wisdom, and great life lessons. I believe it is your destiny to fail, for it sets you up for your next ace.

So today, I lean in. After leaning out, I lean in again, and most recently, am completely out of my comfort zone, as I am getting ready to launch my third venture -- a Global Movement of leaning in and getting off the fence. Yes soon, the GET OFF THE FENCE Movement is coming, where I too, am encouraging the world to both lean in, and take the leap off the fence. Unstuck and off the fence to your best you. To a thriving you.

And if I could close today with my two favorite quotes. because my WomenOnTheFence.com readers know, I love a good quote more than I love a good glass of Cabernet, I leave you with my two favorites:

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -- Anaïs Nin

May you risk, albeit in a calculated way, but may you dare to live the life you were meant to live. And live it fearlessly.

And my second favorite:

"Alis volat propriis" -- A Latin saying for "She flies with her own wings." I wish for you, women everywhere, to open your wings, take flight, and soar. To fight for your happiness, to work hard, and to lean in to your life.

With love and gratitude,

Erica Diamond

How to Get Comfortable Being Alone

2013-02-17T00:41:22-05:00

I'm off to a late start today. I skipped the gym and snuggled in bed with my man who came home late last night after a four-day business trip. I even watched my favorite Grammy performances all over again this morning. The Grammys are MY Super Bowl, and honestly, if it weren't for the music, I don't know where I'd be. Call it cheesy, but whenever times have ever been rough, it has been my music that has saved me.

But back to being alone. I wrote a Facebook post yesterday that seemed to resonate. Many of you related. It wasn't meant to show off, it was meant to inspire you to revel in your aloneness sometimes. It went as such:

"Let me set the scene: My kids slept out at the grandparents'. My husband has been away on business since Thursday, and is coming back today -- I attended an engagement party alone last night on our behalf for a close family friend. And I opened my eyes, alone, in my own bed, at 9:11 this morning. It's been 10 years since I slept in until 9 a.m. I'm now having coffee quietly alone in my own bed. And I'm thinking: some peace and quiet every now and then is really not a bad thing. ;)"

Being alone. How comfortable are you at being alone? When was the last time you went to see a movie alone? When was the last time you went to a cafe, brought a book or magazine, bought a tea or coffee, and sat outside under the umbrella and read quietly? When was the last time you brought your gorgeous self over to a bistro for lunch, treated yourself to a glass of wine, and ate a delicious meal, alone?

Being alone is something I really want you to think about today. Truly being alone. Comfortable in your own skin. No distractions. No cell phones. No husbands. No kids. No girlfriends. Just you.

I recently watched Eat Pray Love again on the dish. And funnily enough, when I read the book years ago, I found myself bored to tears throughout most of it. But something in the movie completely moved me. I loved it. Something resonated so deep down inside that I cried on and off for two straight hours.

Besides watching the beautiful scenery of Italy (for Eat), India (for Pray) and Bali (for Love), it was Julia Roberts who brought Elizabeth Gilbert the author, so much to life. And while I couldn't identify with most parts of her story, parts of it were scarily so very ME.

For those of you that forget the premise, it's about a burned-out successful female writer living in an unhappy, unfulfilled marriage who decides to leave her husband and travel the world alone for a year to find herself, and document her experiences. And while I couldn't identify with living unhappily in a marriage, if I can be honest, which is where I am the most honest, here on my Blog with you, I identified with sometimes wanting to run away and be alone.

The thought of peace and tranquility and clearing your mind from the daily grind. From homework, from work, from chatter and noise. To clear your head from routines and ruts, from schedules and carpools, from events and obligations. To just up and leave, and let the world be your oyster. To meet up with other bright and dynamic women strangers and sit and chat for hours and learn about other cultures. To not have to answer to anyone, nor be accountable for a period of time felt so free, and I escaped in that feeling for two hours.

Now, I am an only child, so being alone is a very comfortable place for me. It's when I do most of my thinking, growing and learning. It's not to depress you or sound dark, but I am truly my most comfortable alone. This is not to say my most cherished moments are not being with my adoring husband and wonderful children and incredible family. My happiest thoughts are of us laughing, hanging out, playing and being a family.

They are my life, my reason for getting up in the morning. But I also love to be alone. Those of you who live in Montreal can often spot me anywhere ALONE. I shop alone. I often eat alone. I can peruse through a library or bookstore for two hours alone. I like to take my own car everywhere I go. I like to be able to slide out the back door if something bores me. I like moving at my own pace... which on some days is snail-pace, and on other days, is a catch-me-if-you-can pace. I guess you could say I'm a loner, despite being a very talkative, outgoing and loud person. And despite having many wonderful girlfriends.

But I know from experience that being alone can be wonderful. And I don't mean being a divorced, single woman alone. I mean being alone as a married woman or in a committed relationship. I mean taking moments, your own moments, to re-discover yourself. Does that make sense to you?

I mean getting comfortable with yourself without distraction. Closing your eyes and listening to your Ipod. Reading without any distraction. Heading downtown shopping without needing the approval of anyone to tell you if something looks good or not, if you look too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall. I can tell you from experience, every successful decision I have ever made, has come to me while being alone.

And I think we often underestimate our own capabilities. Whenever I have been on the fence in my life, I have been the one to uncover the answers. Not my husband, not my parents, not my friends. So what does all this mean for you? It means that there is only one person in this world who has all the answers to your questions. That person is YOU. And you will discover those answers to your questions if you learn to be alone and spend the time.

Watch this. Don't laugh. It can seem weird or funny. But watch it 'till the end. I'm sure if you allow it to, something will click inside and you'll understand why being alone is imperative to your happiness.

I'd like to challenge you to something today, HuffPost readers. As I give my coaching clients homework, I would like to give YOU homework for this week. I'd like you to pencil one hour alone with yourself between now and Sunday. No cell phones, no friends, no distractions. Do whatever it is you like to do.

Take a walk in the park, go to the bookstore with a coffee, lay on your bed and listen to soft music. Whatever. One hour to FULLY clear your head. Try it out, and let me know how it goes. I hope you come to make some big life decisions, on your own, and figure out how you will get off the fence and thrive in your life.

I'm not saying not to bounce your ideas off of the people you love, but really, all the answers lie within you. So get comfortable getting to really know yourself. I encourage you to reach out to me either in the comments section below or via email and let me know how you made out.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Do you ever spend time alone? Are you COMFORTABLE being alone?

Until next time,

Who Is on Your Fantasy Dinner List?

2012-11-26T18:19:00-05:00

Happy Monday! I figured many of you would be sluggish returning to the grind today after a long Thanksgiving weekend, so I wanted to keep things light. Today, we're off the fence.

For some odd reason, I have been asked this question a lot lately: Who is on my fantasy dinner list?

It's actually a very fun exercise, especially with the holidays just a few weeks away. Ya know, kind of like the fantatsy exercise: If you won the lottery, what would you do? Oh, that one is a reeeaaaalllly fun one.

But for the sake of easing into Monday, here are the rules for your enjoyment. Let's imagine these people on your fanatsy dinner list are all dining with you, and together. It's a dinner party, and you're making the menu.

The rules:

Choose five to eight people
They can be dead or alive (but must be real people. No movie or fictional characters).
They can be on your list for any reason -- you think they'd be fun at a dinner party, you want to pick their brain, you want them in your bedroom -- gulp -- whatever floats your boat.
Create the menu. What are you serving?

Ok, I'll start.

On my list:

(Obviously you could guess my first guest...)

Oprah Winfrey. Simple... I love her. I admire what she's built on her own name. I'd love to be mentored by her. She's traveled the world and met interesting people, so I imagine she'd also have some great stories and contribute to the conversation.

Either Jimmy will do: Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel. I love these Jimmys. They would add humor and, I'm hoping, keep the laughs going.

Simon Cowell. I already met and spoke with him in Barbados a few years ago when he was new to the American Idol scene. He sat on the beach daily, smoking cigarettes, sunbathing in oil and sitting in his spa bathrobe most of the time. But when we chatted, he was the loveliest guy. Honestly. I said to him, "You're such a jerk on TV. You're so nice in real life. How come?" He replied with a laugh, "That's entertainment." I kind of get the feeling he was half telling the truth, but I admire his life story. He accomplished, he lost everything, he rebuilt himself again. He's interesting. He also is great at spotting talent, which makes his business sense razor-sharp. This is someone to learn from.

Stevie Wonder. Because he rocks, is my favorite singer and, if he was coming to my party, I'd make sure to supply a grand piano and ask him to play a few tunes -- "Ribbon in the Sky," "Master Blaster," "Sir Duke," "My Cherie Amour," "Do I Do."

Anthony Robbins. 'Cuz who wouldn't want to learn how to better their life and reach their maximum potential? I always thought this guy was a snake oil salesman 'till I saw him in Toronto at a taping of Oprah's Lifeclass. I'm a Belieber, um, I mean, Tony-liever. This guy is the real deal.

Richard Branson. If you read this blog, this won't shock you. I wrote about him in my book, met and interviewed him, and love his balls. Oh, that does not sound good! I mean, I love his fearlessness, how he attacks life with gusto, and how he's always thinking outside the box. He's lived a full life, and therefore I think he'd make a great dinner guest.

Steve Jobs. Okay, maybe he wouldn't be the most fun at a dinner party, but I'd still want one of the most relevant human beings of our time sitting at my table. Surely, there'd be something to learn.

Phil Knight. Are you sensing a pattern here? In the room, I'd have Apple, Virgin, Nike. But seriously, I am fascinated by people who have mastered their craft and have kept their brands relevant decade after decade. If you ever hear Phil Knight speak, he is humble, a visionary and a great story teller. He'd be someone I'd want at my dinner party.

And if I had room for more people: Maya Angelou, Ellen Degeneres, Hillary Clinton, Steven Spielberg, Ralph Lauren and, yes, maybe Marilyn Monroe. As for the menu, whoops, I'm a horrible cook, so perhaps invite Martha Stewart to the party, and to cater?!

Now that's smart thinking.

Happy Monday. I'd love to know, who's on your fanatsy dinner list?

My Interview With Soledad O'Brien: On Career, Motherhood and More

2012-11-17T08:31:27-05:00

When I met Soledad O'Brien for the first time in August at Blogher in New York City, I was truly intrigued. She is the CNN anchor we watch daily cover hurricanes, disasters, and important news. Yet, when you speak to her in person, she has this other side. This aura to her. A sweet, fun-loving, and exceptionally charming side. To top it off, she's a mom of four children. I loved her essence, and so I asked her for an interview. Her response, "I will never forget Women On The Fence. You have my word, I will give you an interview."

And so here we are. Soledad was on her day off when we chatted. She was leaving the gym, and en route to do some errands as a multi-tasking career mom. Just a regular gal trying to fit it all in.

Without further ado, I give you my interview with the brilliant and charismatic, Soledad O'Brien.

Soledad, as a long-time fan and follower of your career, it gives me great pleasure to interview you here on WomenOnTheFence.com. As a mother of four children, what is your secret to balancing the requirements of your career (travel, late nights, etc.) with the demands of raising a family?

I don't know that balance is a word I use. I think it's more about prioritizing. Sometimes my work falls first. During a hurricane or a tsunami, for example, my job comes first during these particular times. If it's the first week of school, my children come first, and I'm all about binders, labeling and hearing about new teachers. For me, it's all about prioritizing your life in the right way. Not about balance.

It's also about support and relying on good people at work and at home. My husband, my in-laws, sometimes a babysitter, sometimes one of the college girls -- these are people that are extremely supportive and that I reply on. I'm aggressive about help at home, and I try not to drive myself crazy.

I think the key to being a working mom, is to have a sense of humor about things. I always say, "Both of us can't be losing our shit at the same time." Yup, when I'm in crazy work mode, my husband comes to the rescue. And when he's insanely busy, I make sure to be there for him. It's not good for the well-being of our family when we're both "losin' it" at the same time. We support each other, and that's important.

So it the end, it's not about balance, in my opinion, it's about prioritizing.

While reporting on Hurricane Katrina, you witnessed unspeakable tragedy and human suffering. What did this experience teach you about the resiliency of the human spirit? What do you know as truth about hardships in life?

What I've learned, is that hardships provide wonderful lessons for people. While you're going through it, it's difficult to understand why. But it makes people better and stronger when they come through on the other end. It's a long and tough process though. People sometimes think that suffering is heroic, or they glorify suffering, but when you're going through it, it feels anything but heroic.

Look at Hurricane Katrina seven years later. The people there are tougher now. I think after you have experience any hardship, when you've lost everything that is valuable in your life, you appreciate what IS valuable in life. That experience makes you tougher, more resilient. If you can make it through to the other side, you will be so much stronger. That I know.

Your parents were forced to marry in another state because interracial marriage was illegal -- how has this intimate knowledge of the human rights struggles faced by many Americans impacted your work and your worldview? Also, as a woman of Afro-Cuban, European, and Australian descent, did you experience challenges growing up due to your mixed background?

My parents always talked about our background. It wasn't something that was repressed or not discussed. I grew up in the North Shore of Long Island in a predominantly white community. We were one of the only black families in town. But my parents talked to us about their challenges, and I think that was a good thing.

It must have resonated for me, because to this day, in my work, I am always interested in telling the stories of people whose stories have gone under the radar -- stories of people who would otherwise be forgotten. My parent's story was easy to forget -- a middle class family, suburbia, etc. But where they came from is part of history, and I think these stories are important.

What are some of the things that you wish you knew at 20?

Geez, I'm so glad to be done my twenties! I've learned so much over the years, and I'd have a lot to say to my 20-year-old self. At 20, I wish I'd known that hard work pays off. Had I known this, I wouldn't have stressed so much. Investment in good people, a good boyfriend, a loyal friend, always pays off. Having good people around you is the key to a happy life.

And that means INVESTING in good people too. Investing in good people pays off. I would have said "no" more often. I no longer say yes to everything and everyone. Learning to say no, comes with practice, age, experience, and wisdom.

There is a quote by Maya Angelou that I love, "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." I think we often talk ourselves into people or situations. We con ourselves into believing they aren't what they show us, that they are better. Now I go with my gut. I'm more objective. If something feels off, I walk away.

You have interviewed many fascinating people, and experienced tremendous moments as a reporter and journalist. Is there a favorite interview, moment or highlight in your career?

I have met and interviewed so many great interesting people. I would have to say, covering Katrina or natural disasters, they have been the highlight of my career. I feel a special sense of duty and responsibility to be there. Not everybody can be there, so you go there, show up and try and do the best job you can.

Also doing Black in America -- and turning that into successful a series. We are going into our sixth year. I am proud of that show.

For a woman looking to break out into the media, what piece of advice would you give her?

I think it's important to learn how to express yourself, and not just verbally. Today to break into media, you need to have a lot of skills. People talk about skill-sets, "What is your skill-set?" Today, you need to learn ALL the skills to stay relevant. You need more than just a prayer. You need to diversify those skills -- so for me, I thought my personal skill-set was my biggest attribute. But today, I write, I do documentaries, breaking news, I edit, shoot, write for the blog, etc... You need a lot of skills.

The good news is, there are lots of great opportunities to get those skills. So my advice would be, to diversify your skill-set and constantly work on that skill-set. I give speeches, I write those speeches, I'm on Twitter, I try to have a presence everywhere I can. That's what you need today.

In your work with the Foundation, you speak about the 'starfish' story. What other valuable life lessons have you received in unexpected ways and places? Can you also shed a little light on your mission with the Soledad O'Brien and Brad Raymond Foundation.

At the Soledad O'Brien and Brad Raymond Foundation, we provide young women with a bridge between obstacles and opportunity, by giving them the resources to overcome barriers and reach their highest potential. In my work and philanthropy, I wanted to make a difference and have an impact. I want my foundation change a life, to make an impact. I want "her" stories to matter and that is why I strive to do a good job.

As for the Starfish story -- this is how I feel. I wanted to make a difference. I had met many young women whose life plans had been stagnated by terrible disasters, compounded by generational poverty, some were just down on their luck. If I could help ONE of them, do my part, and maybe launch a successful young woman into a brighter future. Then they could go off into the world and help others.

What I know in life, is you need a lot of prayer... and a lot of hustle (laughing). Both strategies together, make for a great plan.

When you look to the future, what does the future look like for Soledad O'Brien?

I've been so lucky. I've enjoyed my life. It feels crazy busy at times, for sure. When I look to the future, I'd like to be less crazy busy. The kids are getting older, more independent. The girls run off, the boys need more help. I'd like it to be not so frenetic -- maybe more "me time" would be nice. I'd like the future to hold more time for myself and my husband.

I like to ask my interviewees, what are the top three things on your Bucket List, since I like to inspire my readers to dream, write it down, and then move to action.

It's not so much a Bucket List, but maybe rather a to-do plan.

I'd love to be fluent in Spanish.

I'd love to learn how to dance really well. It's hard to find the time. I'd love to be able to go out and enjoy, and dance!

Travel around the world without it being for work, rather for pleasure. I'd love to spend the winter somewhere -- perhaps live in another country and spend half of the year experiencing something else.

That's about it!

Soledad O'Brien is an American broadcast journalist. She is the anchor of CNN's morning news program Starting Point, a wife, an activist, and mother of four children.

I'd love your feedback. Did you learn anything new, possibly about yourself in this interview? Do you agree with Soledad that it's about prioritizing, not about balance?

My Interview With Denise Richards

2012-11-10T10:29:12-05:00

I spent the afternoon in New York last week with long distance friend, mom, and actress Denise Richards. We chatted over tea and scones, and then I decided to ask her some questions and find out what it's like to be a single, working mom in the spotlight.

Denise was candid, honest and sincere about her life. I give you, our interview...

ED - Denise, can you tell us a little about your upbringing? Did you know from a young age that you wanted to be an actress? When and how did you get that lucky break?

DR - I grew up in a small town outside outside of Chicago. I grew up very differently than how my girls are growing up today. My mom was a stay-at-home mother. We were actually a Nielsen family -- we were your all around typical American family. Family of four, very close. My father, my sister and I were part of a father-daughter group called The Drifters. My mom had dinner on the table every night at six o'clock. Everything was about family growing up.

From a young age, I knew I wanted to act. But growing up in a small town, I didn't think it would be possible living in Illinois. My dad was tired of working outdoors in the cold winters, and decided to move us to California. From there, I started modelling, then getting into acting. I started taking acting lessons, and landed a few guest spots. I was lucky -- I was able to support myself even with those little jobs.

My big break was Starship Troopers -- it was so cool. My first movie in a movie theatre! From there on in, I became a working actor.

ED - Breaking into Hollywood can be an uphill battle. Were there ever moments where you felt as though your dreams were impossible? How did you stay positive and motivated in your career?

DR - There's always that little word called REJECTION. It happens to everyone. There were many times that I got discouraged when I didn't get a role, but I loved what I was doing so much, it was this love that kept me motivated. I had a passion for acting, and I wouldn't give up. To this day, I love being on set with filmmakers, the actors, the crew. I love working. It has always been my passion that has kept me motivated through rejection. When you have a passion for something, you MUST keep at it. It sounds very simple, but I know it to be true.

ED - What does being a single woman and mom mean to you? What advice can you offer to other single, working moms when life gets overwhelming? How do you balance it all?

DR - I think moms, single or not, put a lot of pressure on ourselves trying to balance it all. It's NEVER going to be perfectly balanced -- the sooner you know this, the sooner you can relieve some of the pressure you put on yourself. When you're working, you will miss some moments with your kids. When you're away with your husband, you'll miss some moments at work. When you're with the kids, you'll miss moments there too. I think it's about prioritizing, not about balancing. It's more about juggling, in my opinion, than balancing. Keeping things running as smoothly as possible, and managing all those balls in the air as best as you can.

The secret to balance for me, is about living and being in the moment. Otherwise you're simply never enjoying life -- when you're with your kids, you're worried about work, and so on.

About being a single mom -- I don't think of myself as a single mom. I just think of myself as a mom. I think even if you have a nanny (depending on your financial situation), or grandparents to help out, at the end of the day, you're the one raising your kids. And that's a tough job. My children are my priority and I want to be the one raising them. The best gift you can give your child is your time. We don't get these moments back. When my girls were babies, there were incredible jobs that I didn't take, because I didn't want to miss all those moments. Life is always about making choices.

ED - You are known world-wide as a sex symbol, and you've been ranked as one of the most beautiful people alive. How do you deal with such close scrutiny of your body? Describe your relationship with your body and with food, and do you have any tips for staying in the shape that you're in?

DR - I have been lucky enough to be thin my whole life. But I take good care of myself and I think clean living makes a difference. I'm careful what I put in my body, I try and stay out of the sun. I'm lucky that I didn't feel the pressure to be thin in this business -- I can probably credit good genes for that.

But, after my mom passed away, I gained 10-15 pounds, which was a lot for my frame. And I think it was TMZ that posted my weight gain (it was splashed all over the Internet), and I was shocked! I had never experienced such scrutiny and cruelty about my body. The tabloids had no idea everything that was going on in my life, and it was really mean, and very hurtful. I try to never read things in the media, but "Oh look at fat Denise," was difficult to read.

During this grieving period, was the first time I experienced emotional weight gain. I don't even think I changed my eating habits -- the weight just stuck to me 'cuz I was so grief-stricken over losing my mom. But after some time, I decided to buckle down -- I wanted to feel better emotionally and get back to the way I looked physically, so I started getting back into my pilates routine, and being really consistent. I started to feel better.

My secret to staying in shape is consistency. When I consistently stick to my routine, that is when I feel my best. I also think you need to work out for your own body. Just because something works for someone else, doesn't mean it will work for you. So I believe you should continue to try different activities until you find out what works for you. I have tried everything out there you can imagine -- weights, classes, everything, and for me, the best thing my body responds to is pilates.

ED - Your marriage and divorce with Charlie Sheen were plastered all over tabloids for months and you endured invasive prying by the press into your personal family life. How did you maintain your sanity during this ordeal?

DR - I maintained my sanity by knowing what's important, and what was important was taking care of my two babies. I knew over time it would pass. It didn't pass as quickly as I would have liked (laughing), but I knew I had to stay focused on really blocking a lot of that stuff out and being the best mom I could be. My kids were too little to understand what was going on during my divorce, which was a blessing. They were babies. It was all about being a mom and being there for them.

ED - What is your advice to other women who find themselves in a toxic relationship? It is not as easy as it seems, to just get up and walk away from the family unit. Women sit on the fence for months, often years before leaving a toxic relationship. Can you touch on this?

DR - I think the advice I would offer to women contemplating leaving their partner, is to answer these two questions: Would I want this partner for MY daughter? And would I want MY son to grow up and be like this person? If you answer no to these questions, then he is not the right person to continue on with.

About drawing the strength to leave your marriage, that is so different for every person. Everyone's situation is different. It's so personal for each individual and no one should judge a friend or another woman, and say things like, "She should leave her husband immediately," or "I can't believe you lived miserably in that marriage for so long."

I always say, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, and we don't know the ins and outs of anyone's relationship except the people involved. All we can hope for, is great support around us, and support to get us through whatever decision we choose to make.

ED - You speak often of your great love and respect of your mother, who passed away too young from cancer. What was the best life advice that you received from your late mother?

DR - She gave me all kinds of advice. She gave me advice on how to be a mom, advice in my career. But I think her best advice she ever gave me was the importance of living in the moment. The gift that comes with being in the moment. And she herself always lived like that. She was always that way. I also think it's really good advice, because when you let your mind wander to the past or the future, you're not present. You're not there. It's as if you didn't experience that moment. You end up missing a lot of wonderful moments.

ED - Tell us, what are you working on at the moment in your career? And for a woman looking to break out into the media today (you were a Bond girl, my goodness), what advice would you give her?

DR - I just finished the 100th episode of 90210 which was fun, and I'm now filming a new TV pilot called Socio.

For anyone looking to break into the business, I think many underestimate the importance of hard work. Rejection and roadblocks are part of the job, but if you believe in yourself, nothing will replace that "pick yourself up, and dust yourself off" attitude, and work ethic. If this is truly what you want to do, and if it's your dream, then never give up and keep at it. But that goes with anything in life when pursuing your career -- keep plugging away.

ED - What inspired you to choose to adopt your youngest daughter? Three daughters! What is that like, a house full of girls? In fact, you're an avid animal adopter and rescuer too. What is it about your need to rescue? My psycho babble is showing its face.

DR - I just knew I wasn't done. And I have always wanted to adopt. I decided to pursue it on my own -- I just knew that my family wasn't complete. I think that children choose their parents -- and Eloise just found me a different way. I can't explain it. I just knew there was another soul for me.

We didn't know she was a girl until three weeks before she was born. So, we weren't sure if Eloise was going to be a girl or a boy. My sister has three boys, so it was so delightful to find out that I was having another girl. To have a house full of girls is the best, and I love it.

As for the animals, I have no idea where that came from. Ever since I was little, ever since I can remember, if there was a stray dog, I would bring it home and care for it, and try and find its owner. My sister is the opposite -- she doesn't have any animals. I gravitate toward the ones who are in special need of care, who have been abused, and who need medical attention.

And again, back to the adoption, there is no difference in me giving birth or adopting. AT ALL. I feel like I gave birth to Eloise.

ED - And finally, if you could offer your 20-year-old self advice, what would you tell her?

I would tell her not to sweat the small stuff in life. That everything in life has a time and place, and not to be in such a rush to do everything. There is beauty in taking your time, and enjoying each stage and phase.

And to all the people who have been affected by the devastation of Hurricane Sandy (including Denise who is in New York at the moment), my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Are You Struggling With Burn Out?

2012-11-07T12:18:11-05:00

The year was 2001. I was 26, newly and happily married. I had managed to turn my passion into my paycheque. My business was flourishing. I had just been featured on the cover of the business section, and numerous other publications and TV shows. Life was rockin' -- I had the world by the balls.

Except, one little thing. I wasn't sleeping. I was anxious. I was consumed by obsessive thoughts. I was crashing. I was on the brink of a burnout.

I have never blogged about this dark period, I have only loosely touched on it. I have blogged many times about the incredible birth of WomenOnTheFence.com but never about this time in my life.

I am telling my story today in hopes of a few things. One, to explain the warning signs of burnout, and two, to tell you how to turn things around. I thankfully turned it around with help and support.

What a burnout or onset of a breakdown feels like, is the inability to feel at ease, happy, and restful. It feels like constantly being agitated. Everything pisses you off -- traffic, lines at the bank, phone calls. You get into bed at night, and your thoughts come at you a million miles a minute and consume your brain, and you are unable to shut them off.

Because of this, you do not get restful and restorative sleep, which leads to more anxiety and worry. I became so fixated on growing my business, that what happened was, the more I grew, the more I stopped appreciating it. Every high became no big deal. I was monopolizing our marriage with talks of both daily work stresses and accomplishments. Everything was do or die, life or death. I mapped out and planned every minute of every day, and managed to become a highly functioning and successful MESS.

I thank my mother who saw the wackadoodle I was becoming. She told me that maybe I should speak to somebody professionally, and not her (despite being a wonderful therapist herself). I was working out at the gym at the time with a lovely psychotherapist. I loved her aura... we got to know each other as we pushed through our workouts every week. I asked her if she'd see me.

Slowly but surely, with her help, and the support of my amazing husband and family, I started to return to myself. I have shared a few of the symptoms above of burnout (and imagine, I hadn't even had my kids yet). But, sometimes, the pressures of work, motherhood, marriage, finances, and everyday life become too much. Too overwhelming. So, if you feel you're headed down a dark path, here is what brought me back.

Get help. If you find yourself on that slippery slope, find a therapist or someone you can speak to. An objective ear, and a shoulder to unburden my thoughts was the first step for me. Getting into therapy for one year was the greatest gift I could have given myself. I even started to LOVE and enjoy it. Yup, I did.

Don't diminish your gifts, but rather balance them. One of the greatest things my therapist said to me, was not to diminish my talents. She told me I didn't have to stop doing what made me successful in life. She said, "Don't eliminate your gifts. Be your authentic self, but complement it and balance it with a calmer lifestyle." My aha and light-bulb moment. I didn't have to change who I was, I just had to balance my hectic pace, with calming activities. That was the birth of yoga for me. For you, it may be the gym, meditation, walking, a nightly bath, a massage. But something that calms your mind, body and spirit.

Create a "Worry List" and leave it on your nightstand. My Worry List worked as follows: When my thoughts kept me up at night, the idea was to transfer them from my head and onto paper, to worry about them at another time (not during my sacred time, when I deserved to sleep). I still do it today. Off your head, onto paper to worry about tomorrow.

Learn your limits and know what you need. And that doesn't mean what your friends, or neighbour, or society needs. It means what YOU need. It means that I listen to myself, not to what is the "norm," or "standard." It means that lunch is sometimes at 10:30 a.m. 'cuz I'm starving, or it means I got to bed at 8 p.m. with my kids, because I'm fatigued. I give myself what I need and not what the rest of the world is doing. It has made all the difference.

Sleep is your biggest immunity booster and stress fighter. Arianna Huffington, founder of The Huffington Post, recently started advocating for sleep. But I know, good restful and restorative sleep is my secret weapon. If you struggle with sleep, obviously the basics -- no caffeine after 1 p.m., exercise so your body feels physically tired at the end of the day, and go to bed early -- you'll have to Tivo Letterman! You'll function better for it. I have, for sure.

So, I thank my mother for suggesting that I needed help. I thank my therapist for carrying me and preventing me from crashing and fully burning out. And yes, I thank myself, for respecting my needs and limits and not pushing myself too far anymore. I ain't doin' that shit again! Nuh uh.

"It may seem admirable to work yourself sick, but the longer you burn the candle at both ends, the faster you'll burn out." - Martha Beck

Have you ever been close to burnout, or burned out? What were your strategies and survival tips that helped you come back to yourself? Please share with our community.

I've also included a Burnout Self Quiz where you can check yourself.

Lance Armstrong: The Fall From Grace

2012-10-17T09:59:45-04:00

I awoke to these headlines: Lance Armstrong Stepping Down as Chairman of Livestrong charity.

My reaction: shock and sadness, if I will be honest.

CNN:

Lance Armstrong is stepping down as chairman of the Livestrong cancer charity he founded in 1997 after recovering from the disease, a spokeswoman for the organization confirmed.

The move comes a week after the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency said it had uncovered overwhelming evidence of Armstrong's involvement in a sophisticated doping program while a professional cyclist.

...

Armstrong found out he had testicular cancer at age 25 when he was emerging as a rising star among cyclists. He started a small group to raise money for cancer called the Lance Armstrong Foundation in 1997. Since then, 84 million bright yellow Livestrong wristbands have been distributed.

It appears Nike has dropped him as well.

I just read on Twitter: "Livestrong, fall hard."

Ouch.

The 'On the Fence' debate here today: Many elite athletes use some sort of performance-enhancing drug. Lance was there, he competed, he won all 7 Tour de France titles. He raised $500 million for cancer research. He is a hero.

Versus:

He cheated. He lied. He is a cheater. He is a liar. This offsets all the rest.

What is your take? I loved Lance, I still respect Lance, and I feel sad on many levels. He is a cancer survivor and one of the greatest American athletes of our time. Do we forgive him and accept that he is human, part of the human condition? Or is he a fake? Do today's headlines negate all the races he won, and all the good he's done? I don't believe entirely.

Are you on the fence? What's your take?

September Is National Yoga Awareness Month

2012-09-06T15:10:00-04:00

When I look at how I manage the everyday juggle and grind, there is one thing that keeps me most grounded through it all. There is one thing, that no matter how stressed I am, or how frazzled I may be, that literally transforms my entire aura.

That's yoga.

About 11 years ago, I was close to burning out. I don't think anyone knew just how close I was. I owned a successful company, with sales growing by the quarter. I was named one of the Top 30 Under 30 Entrepreneurs. Top 40 Under 40 Nominee. I graced the cover of multiple business sections in newspapers. I was named a Profit Hot 50 Company. One of Canada's 50 Emerging Growth Companies. I was the only female CEO on the list. And more. I was newly married. I had no kids.

But the more my company grew, the more I burned out. I wasn't sleeping at night, and my mind was consumed by the business 24/7. I started to see a therapist who told me to create a "Worry List" on my nightstand. The Worry List worked as follows: When my thoughts kept me up at night, the idea was to transfer them from my head onto paper, to worry about them at another time (not during my sacred time, when I deserved to sleep).

She also told me to try something else: yoga. And so I did. I hired a private yoga instructor to come to my house twice a week. I did prenatal yoga throughout both my pregnancies. I now do yoga at my gym or at home. And ever since that near burnout, I have never stopped doing yoga.

So, in honor of National Yoga Awareness Month, I wanted to perhaps turn YOU onto yoga. And give you some tips. Yoga could change your life.

If you think you won't enjoy it, or that it's not a workout, or that you won't get toned, or if you think yoga is for freaks, I want to leave you with five reasons: Why yoga?

Simply put... yoga will make you feel better. And not just right after you finish a class or your own practice. This feeling carries you throughout your day.

There are many different yoga practices. Try them and find a practice that you enjoy. I have linked you to different types and styles of yoga -- click here. I have yet to try Bikram yoga, or hot yoga, which I am dying to try. The yoga practice I have mostly done for years is called ashtanga yoga or power yoga. But there are benefits to all the different types.

You don't have to spend lots of money on yoga to rebalance yourself. You can create your own yoga space. All you need is a good yoga mat, a space to call your own, some water, perhaps a nice smelling candle, and a good DVD. I discovered yoga for stress relief purposes, and a friend of mine who did the same told me about this yoga DVD for stress relief. But there are a ton on the market, and if you turn on your TV in the early am, chances are you can catch one live. I find TV yoga quite easy, so if I'm too lazy to go to a yoga class at the gym, I will do the 30-minute TV yoga and add some harder poses at the end to further challenge myself.

Yoga is truly for EVERYONE -- young and old. Besides making you feel better, yoga will build your strength and flexibility and, I say it again... decrease stress! Yoga promotes a balance between the mind, body, and spirit for all who practice it regularly. And I will be honest, yoga can give you a longer, leaner body, and promote better posture (if you combine it with healthy eating). So even if you do yoga as your "workout" (another reason I did yoga at the beginning), over time you will feel all those other benefits as well.

It takes time, so give it a chance. It WILL feel weird at the beginning. You're gonna laugh, and you're gonna feel uncomfortable at the beginning. It's pretty much a guarantee. You might feel very inflexible and very tight in your muscles and joints. But give it time. It just takes time. Be open.

So Happy National Yoga Awareness Month readers!

As the Buddha says: "There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting."

I'd love to hear if yoga has helped you in any way. Feel free to leave any yoga tips for our readers, or any ways yoga has helped you in your life.

Erica Diamond

For more by Erica Diamond, click here.

For more on yoga, click here.

Meditation: The Secret to Fighting Stress, Anxiety and Overwhelm

2012-08-27T18:15:13-04:00

There is something I've been meaning to tell you HuffPost readers. And my husband. And my mom. And my friends. So here goes...

I have been secretly and quietly meditating for the past few months. Most recently, I've been doing it before bed to relax. It all started when I returned home from Canyon Ranch with Dove a few months ago. I signed up for a meditation session simply out of curiosity while at Canyon Ranch. It changed my life.

Please don't stop reading. This is not some voodoo, organic, spiritual, granola blog post. This is something very real making a significant difference in my daily life, and it can be doing the same for you.

So I ask you. When you think about meditation, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Bogus? Boring? Ineffective? I'd never do it?

Well, let me ask you another few questions: Are you overwhelmed? Are you stressed? Are you short-tempered? Has the joy been sucked out of your life? Does life seem a lot like groundhog day? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you should meditate. Yup, you should.

Before I get into the nitty gritty, click here to read about the physiological benefits of meditation.

But here's what you need to know about meditation -- there is no single way to do it, no right or wrong way to do it. Today, I'm giving you the 411 and the 101 of meditating for you to try. These tips are a combination of mine and experts', so please try what feels right for you.

And one more thing. When you first start meditating, it will feel weird. Yes. Your mind will tell you it's a waste of time. Why sit there and think about nothing? You will twitch and you will itch (gee, that sounds very Dr. Seuss). You will get annoyed. May I say, stick with it anyhow. It gets better.

How to Meditate In 9 Simple Steps

1. Commit to 5-30 minutes a day. To begin, start with five minutes. Most people find 15 minutes optimal, but literally five minutes of meditation is beneficial. As for how often, it is said that meditation should be aimed for daily, like brushing your teeth. I don't meditate daily, but I probably should.

2. Eliminate Distractions. Obviously, if you're a mom, the 3-5 p.m. bewitching hour would not be a good time. Choose a time in your day where you have the least amount of distraction. Maybe it's in the early morning. Maybe it's lunchtime. For me, it's been before bed when I am actually lying in my bed.

3. Relax and get comfortable. Some like to stretch before meditation, as it loosens the body and helps you relax. Remember, if you are a beginner like me, it's hard to sit still, so stretching and relaxing gets your mind in the zone.

4. Choose Your Position. As for your position, whether lying down or sitting up, that is a personal choice. Some like to sit, some like to lie down. The only rule is you should be comfortable (with a straight spine and not slouching). If you are sitting, relax and rest your hands on your lap. You can sit on the floor cross-legged with the support of a cushion or on a chair with your feet resting on the ground. It's not necessary to force yourself into a lotus position if you're not comfortable.

5. Focus Your Mind. Be prepared for your mind to wander. The key in meditation is to keep your mind on the present moment and not in the past, nor on what you have to do in an hour. This is your time to be still, to relax, to literally heal yourself. Once you've chosen the optimal time, you are comfortable and relaxed, and you will be ready to focus your mind on your breath. You can meditate with your eyes open or closed. That is a personal choice. Sometimes listening to relaxing music can help in meditation. If you like meditating with music, then go ahead. There are many CDs you can buy. I am actually going to purchase a few on ITunes and try them out.

6. Breathe slowly and deeply. Close your eyes softly. Begin by taking a few slow and deep breaths -- inhaling through your nose and exhaling from your mouth. Don't force your breathing. Let it come naturally. The first few intakes of air are likely to be shallow, but as you allow more air to fill your lungs each time, your breaths will gradually become deeper and fuller. Take as long as you need to breathe slowly and deeply. When you are breathing deeply, you will begin to feel calmer and more relaxed.

7. If you mind wanders, bring it back to your breathing. If your mind wanders, know that this is normal, and gently try and bring it back to the now -- to your breathing. Your mind may wander as often as every five seconds. That's totally okay. As you meditate more often, your mind will wander less, and your body and mind will truly relax. My mind still wanders almost every time. It's hard to sit still and focus on your breath, but make that gentle conscious effort to bring your mind back to the moment. That is what meditation actually is -- bringing your awareness back to what you're doing. On a side note, if you are falling asleep, consider changing positions (from lying to sitting).

8. Ending your meditation. When you are ready to end your meditation, open your eyes and stand up slowly. Good job. You did it!

9. Practice Makes Perfect. It's not a race. Maybe you can only meditate for three minutes now. With time, you'll increase your time, therefore increasing all the benefits you will experience from meditation.

The difference over time is remarkable. You will begin to feel peaceful, calm and happy. Stick with it -- it will feel frustrating at first, and that's okay. As a multitasking, busy career woman and mom, it has made all the difference for me. All the difference in the world.

I'd love to know: Do you meditate? Would you try meditation after reading this post? Any tips for starters would be helpful. Have a blessed day.

Erica Diamond
@EricaDiamond

For more by Erica Diamond, click here.

For more on meditation, click here.

BlogHer: Martha, Katie, Soledad and Female Domination

2012-08-07T18:00:45-04:00

I'm back at Huff Post after a three-week blogging hiatus. It was a gift I gave myself.

During my three-week blogging break, I had a chance to relax, ~~unWINE~~ unwind and rest my brain so that I can continue to add value to the blogging community. It is no easy feat to manage an engaged audience as smart as YOU and continuously provide fresh, captivating content. In order to do so, this mama needs to engage in stimulating activities, such as reading ~~Fifty Shades Of Grey~~ War and Peace.

So... I relaxed by the lake.

I watched my kids play happily on the beach in Maine.

I worked. A LOT actually.

I went on a few dates with my hubby.

AND THEN.... BloghHer!

What is BlogHer, you might ask? Well, it is three days of magic. There is really no other way to describe BlogHer as anyting other than magical.

I quote Huffington Post blogger Darryle Pollack, whom I actually met at BlogHer this weekend in New York, and her article. THIS is what makes BlogHer so unique...

Created in 2005 by three women as a gathering for women who blogged, BlogHer has multiplied in size -- and importance -- every year since. Now a successful website, advertising network and TV channel the annual BlogHer conference is the jewel in the crown -- where bloggers, marketers and sponsors come to connect. Four smaller conferences have also blossomed from it.

Twitter, blogs and social media channels have been buzzing about BlogHer for weeks. There's advice, lists of tips-- even lists of the lists of tips.

So, why such a big deal about BlogHer?

I can't tell you.

Seriously. There's something for everyone, so BlogHer means different things to different people...

In a world where the Kardashians are the gold standard of success, for me, BlogHer represents a kernel of reality, a source of inspiration and an island of sanity where people are appreciated not for what they look like or what they have, but for who they are. Sometimes that feels like a rare thing.

And for me that's a big deal. Maybe Martha Stewart and Katie Couric (speakers at Blogher) understand the power of that, too." -Darryle Pollack

So, to give you a recap of my past 3 days, I blog to you in photo. I apologize the for less-than-adequate quality on most of the pictures. What can I say? I'm the last person on earth still using a Blackberry (I can't let go of the damn keypad). Please also read the photo descriptions...

BlogHer is legendary for its parties. Who can fit all the shoes and dresses into one suitcase? It wasn't easy closing this puppy up

Power session with my buddy Adam Keats (who works in PR) discussing Women On The Fence and brand relationships

YES, WE BLOGGERS ARE THAT POWERFUL, THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA TALKS TO US! 4000 BLOGGERS AND BARACK.

An old friend I met in the Twitter community -- Ted Rubin. This guy is a gem.

Me, maternity empire pioneer Liz Lange, and bestselling author and speaker Samantha Ettus at New York Times Bestselling Author Gretchen Rubin's book launch

Laura Mayes (founder of Mom 2.0 Summit), me, Liz Lange, Samantha Ettus, and Jen Singer (MommaSaid.net)

Jen Singer, Samantha Ettus and me

Getting ready for a BlogHer photo shoot

Live from Blogher 2012

Hanging with Canadian Bloggers, Nadine Silverthorne (left) and Gossip Blogger Kelli Catana (right)

Anything goes at BlogHer. How ridiculously adorable are these moms?

BlogHer brings Power Women. By far, my favorite part of the weekend.

Martha Stewart snapping a photo of the audience for Twitter as she walks in...

Discussing Martha Stewart Omnimedia, and what it takes to run an empire

Thanks to a family friend, I got to meet one of my favorite female entrepreneurs, Martha. Obviously an amazing moment for an entrepreneur like myself. Now that's Oprah, Richard Branson and Martha Stewart in 12 months. Not bad!

Yes, now I've seen it all. Trojan giving out VIBRATORS at BlogHer. Yup, that's what 4000 'power' women brings (no pun intended)

My Milk Moustache at 'Got Milk?' with the milk men!

With one of my favorite women in our blogging community, Whitney Wingerd, at the Best Buy booth

Having a Bethenny Frankel SkinnyGirl margarita

My oldest and dearest Social Media/Digital Mom buddies Kimberley Clayton Blaine (TheGoToMom.tv) and Beth Blecheman (TechMamas.com)

My doppleganger (don't we look alike?) blogger extraordinaire, Liz Gumbinner (Mom-101.com)

Me and the amazing Amy Windsor (TheBitchinWife.com) having dinner

One of those legendary parties. Crazy bloggers on the dance floor at Sparklecorn (yes, that's the name of the yearly party)

Because I'm the geek that enjoys the sessions the most. I always love perfecting my craft and trade

At the "Getting Gorgeous" event with my girls Vera Sweeney (left) and Audrey McClellan (right)

At "Getting Gorgeous" with Nicole Feliciano of MomTrends.com

At "Getting Gorgeous" with Joni from Mom Pulse, a new YouTube channel for moms that I am thrilled to be part of

I was asked to describe what Inner Beauty means to me. "Inner beauty is..." This is my answer.

One of my favorite journalists, Katie Couric (left) being interviewed by BlogHer co-founder Lisa Stone

Katie's famous legs! You go girl!

A video I shot of Katie Couric discussing her new fall daytime talk show, The Katie Show

CNN Reporter Soledad O'Brien interviewing Supermodel and Activist Christy Turlington

Malaak Compton-Rock (Activist and wife of comedian Chris Rock), Christy Turlington and Soledad O'Brien discussing the challenges of non-profit organizations

Three exceptionally dynamic women

This picture is "Beauty and the Beast," I swear. I also recently interviewed Christy Turlington on WomenOnTheFence.com, and here we are meeting in-person for the first time. She called me out in the audience and thanked me for helping her 'Get off the fence.' Really nice.

Me and Soledad O'Brien who promised me an interview for WomenOnTheFence.com. Yay! She also told me, "I'll never forget Women On The Fence." Love it.

Hanging with the nice peeps at RetailMeNot.com- the largest coupon site in the world. I am a Brand Ambassador for them.

New York City - one of my favorites in the world

And if that doesn't give you the vibe, this has got to be the BEST TWEET I've seen on Twitter. ;)

It was truly an incredible weekend. If you're a regular reader, you know that I never go anywhere without a lesson learned, or a take-away to implement into my life and pass on to you. After spending 72 hours with other moms, most of them who are also building businesses from scratch, I have come to realize a few things:

I am more independent than I thought I was. This has served me well.

Despite being more independent, I am nothing without my family, namely my role as wife and mother.

If you always remain OPEN, good things come.

If you're cool going anywhere alone, good things come again.

If you plant enough seeds, eventually something sticks.

I realized that not all women are catty. At least not the ones I have allowed into my life. Give and you shall receive friends for life.

Work hard, but play hard too. Passion is the place to live.

Success comes from following your dreams. I read on Twitter this morning, "If you don't follow your dreams, you'll work for someone who did. Find time to make your passion a reality." Amen to that.

Whether you're working out of necessity, or are a trust-fund baby who doesn't have to work at all, you can't simply live off the fat of the land. Give back. Every woman needs to find something to call her own- for me, that was finding this community. Life is nothing without purpose.

What do you think?

xoxEDxox

RIP Nora Ephron

2012-06-28T14:14:46-04:00

Nora Ephron (May 19, 1941 - June 26, 2012)

Yesterday, we lost a beloved legend, American filmmaker, screenwriter, director, producer, novelist, playwright, journalist, and author, Nora Ephron.

Nora Ephron was best known for her romantic comedies and was a triple Academy Award nominee for Original Screenplay for three films: Silkwood, When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle. Her last film was Julie & Julia.

Nora Ephron, Meryl Streep and Amy Adams, Julie & Julia

I have been a long-time fan of Nora Ephron's work, and today I would like to honor her by showcasing her words. A magnificent craftsman of words, she taught us much...

She was wise:

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.

She was honest and bold:

I don't care who you are. When you sit down to write the first page of your screenplay, in your head, you're also writing your Oscar acceptance speech.

She was bang on (and funny):

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

She was a romantic, but still always funny:

When you're attracted to someone, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match. -- Sleepless in Seattle

In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind.

Nora Ephron: Life Dreaming

She was on the fence, like so many of us here:

Here are some questions I am constantly noodling over: Do you splurge or do you hoard? Do you live every day as if it's your last, or do you save your money on the chance you'll live twenty more years? Is life too short, or is it going to be too long? Do you work as hard as you can, or do you slow down to smell the roses? And where do carbohydrates fit into all this? Are we really all going to spend our last years avoiding bread, especially now that bread in American is so unbelievable delicious? And what about chocolate?

She was delicious:

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." -- When Harry Met Sally

RIP Nora Ephron. You will be sadly missed, and greatly remembered.

What was your favorite work of Nora Ephron's?

xoxEDxox

My Interview With Arianna Huffington

2012-05-30T14:04:22-04:00

I am still on a high from meeting a true pioneer and leader in her field, Arianna Huffington, founder of The Huffington Post. This woman is the real deal. When you talk to her, you can FEEL her energy. She gives you direct eye contact (which I love), a firm handshake and lets you know she hears you. Arianna is open, and oozes creativity. It is palpable.

When I got word I was granted an interview with Arianna, I was excited. If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that entrepreneurship is very near and dear to my heart, so to be able to chat about all things life and business (and to pick her brain), was quite thrilling.

Without further ado, some life and business wisdom from Arianna Huffington...

On launching any new venture with The Huffington Post
AH: We don't cut corners on anything. Not our people, not on a launch. We will delay a launch to get it perfect. We have no problem delaying things until they're right. The idea is to get something great the first time.

On being an entrepreneur
AH: Being an entrepreneur means being able to fail and be discouraged and keep going. There will always be obstacles along the way, but that is expected. Staying power and perseverance are the true keys to success.

On the next business idea she would launch
AH: Something related to stress reduction and well-being. I believe that is where the future is headed and will be a big trend.

On the importance of human connection in a world surrounded by technology
AH: The more we are surrounded by technology, the more we value human life. Face-to-face is crucial to stay connected. I am very connected to the people I work with, and to people in general. Computers don't replace face-to-face connection. I still very much value and cherish human connection.

On her latest venture, the app called "GPS for the Soul" that is in the beta-testing phase
AH: I am thrilled to announce our latest project. "GPS For The Soul," is a new free HuffPost app (for Blackberry and iPhone users) to detect your stress level throughout the day. I kept thinking, I'd love to create an app that detects your stress level so that we don't end up with heart disease, stroke and other health conditions caused by stress. The app is designed to detect stress and then it gets customized to make you course correct.

It is the nature of the beast to get anxious or stressed. The key is how to tap into the things that help us de-stress and find peace and joy. We all need a "GPS for the Soul" to help us find our bearings when we lose them. How the app works is the camera detects your stress level through the blood flow in your thumb. If the app detects you are stressed, it gives you bio feedback exercises on the spot to reduce your stress -- yoga exercises, meditation, music, pictures, poetry, prayer, etc -- all customized for you. We hope to launch it in the next two months.

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On her other latest venture, her partnership with Oprah Winfrey and OWN TV

AH: At HuffPost, we just announced a partnership with Oprah and The Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) around content and engagement. It's very exciting. The Huffington Post Oprah section will contain a mix of articles, blogs and interactive content that will connect with the audience on an emotional and spiritual level. The site will provide practical advice and resources encouraging people to discover their best selves and to lead happy, fulfilling lives by taking steps to attain their goals.

On the importance of sleep
AH: People do not realize the importance and value of sleep in their lives. Sleep is fuel for joy and creativity. We all need enough. Sleep is one of your most important tools.

On the whole Facebook IPO craze
AH: Facebook's IPO is a moment for celebration. Just think, one little idea to a multi- billion dollar evaluation. It's a very American phenomenon. Sheryl Sandberg is also an amazing addition to that team.

On Huffington Post then and now
AH: I am Greek and Greeks love to talk. We love conversation. Conversations have been a part of my entire life -- conversations in the kitchen, on the street, everywhere. When I started, conversations were moving online, so my vision was to move the conversation online too. Today, we have 500 editors at the Huffington Post and we just won our first Pulitzer. A milestone indeed.

The one piece of advice she would give to someone starting up in the digital world today
AH: Find out what the world needs, no matter how small, and provide it. Find a niche that hasn't yet been exploited. Once you figure out what that is, go do it!

So there you have it. What I have learned from interviewing entrepreneurs from around the globe -- from Richard Branson to Craigslist founder Craig Newmark to Liz Lange, and many more -- is that creativity and the ability to generate ideas is in their blood. It's in their veins. They never stop creating. They're not happy with the status quo. Their brains rarely shut off and they don't rest easily. Entrepreneurs see the invisible, and they make that invisible come to life. They pave the way. They aim to serve and make a difference.

And for this, I'm inspired to learn more. To do better. To up my game. To be an agent of change.

Are you?

23 Secrets to Improve Your Life

2012-04-19T15:22:16-04:00

I don't even know where to begin. I am still on a high after a magnificent weekend with my mom in Toronto attending Oprah's Lifeclass Tour. So many of you have tweeted me and Facebooked me asking for all the juicy details. So today will be a mixed bowl of those details, life lessons, and what I learned. Hold on tight, and come along with me on a ride of fun and education...

It all started Sunday. My husband was leaving on a business trip, and I was leaving for Toronto. We kissed our two boys goodbye, and headed to the airport for our respective flights. Walking in, I had to laugh. My mom and I showed up at the airport in the exact same outfit, completely unplanned. Quite typical of us. We were excited, and off on our first mother-daughter trip in almost a decade!

Mom and I at the airport en route to our mother-daughter getaway

After being delayed two-and-a-half hours, we finally touched down in Toronto. No kids for two days. Only one person to care for -- myself. I gotta admit, it was nice. I missed afternoon tea with the OWN Network. They had graciously invited me, but my delayed flight prevented me from attending.

Mom and I had dinner and went to bed early Sunday night, knowing that the doors opened at 7 a.m.

We woke up Monday morning EXCITED! We were goin' to Oprah, baby!! I tweeted to Miss O that morning.

"Show day! Out of the shower and getting ready for #OinTO at 7:30! Woo hoo!! @Oprah @IyanlaVanzant @tonyrobbins @DeepakChopra exciting!" - @WomenOnTheFence

If I tell you, I tweet Oprah ALL.THE.TIME to no reply. But all of a sudden, BING, Twitter reply.

OPRAH TWEETED ME!!

And with that tweet, we were off to the convention center. It was 6:50 in the morning, and we walked down the street to Starbucks for a quick breakfast to go. It was as if Oprah Winfrey owned Front Street. Women EVERYWHERE, all going to see Oprah.

At Starbucks before Lifeclass

After a lineup around MANY blocks, we were inside. My mom was immediately snapping pictures. She couldn't get enough.

We then entered the auditorium -- 8,500 women in one room is nothing to sneeze at. We were guided to our seats -- fourth row center. GULP!

The electricity, the synergy, the buzz in the room was palpable. Everyone was there by choice, not out of necessity, to learn and to self-improve. It felt as if this was a sacred place, a place to be your authentic self. That was the bond that connected all of us. And you could feel it -- 8,500 women thirsty for a better life. Thirsty for transformation and change. How cool.

And with that feeling, the day began. They called the first speaker to the stage -- a great Canadian entrepreneur and philanthropist, and star of the hit show, Dragon's Den. Lo and behold, it was my buddy Brett Wilson! I had no idea he was going to be there, so when he took the stage, I waved to him. Next thing I know, he called out in front of the entire crowd, "Oh wow, there's Erica Diamond!" In the words of Fifty Shades of Grey, I flushed scarlet. I ducked in my seat.

Next we heard from four incredible teachers, for about 30 minutes each: Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Iyanla Vanzant and Bishop TJ Jakes. Alright, I expected Tony Robbins to be like a used-car salesman. But if I tell you, HIS TALK WAS LIFE-CHANGING. He was by far my favorite speaker. If you haven't read his books or attended his conferences, I urge you to do so. This guy is the real deal.

The set

All four speakers taught us some incredible life lessons. I wanted to share them with you. Here they are, in no particular order:

"We're all born with infinite potential and creativity. We all have it in us. Each and every one of us. That's the only truth" - Deepak Chopra

"The three things you can offer your children to change them: attention, appreciation and affection." - Deepak Chopra

"None of us are imprisoned emotional or mentally unless we allow ourselves to be." -Iyanla Vanzant

"Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes for you." - Tony Robbins

"Change your state, change your happiness. We use drugs, sex, eating, smoking, drinking to change our state. You don't need to this." - Tony Robbins

"Wanna keep your marriage in that same state of bliss you felt at the beginning? Then, DO you what you did at the beginning of your relationship -- you gave everything to this person. Do those things again and you will see the change and the reconnection with your partner." --Tony Robbins

"Your story is what blocks you from your breakthrough. We believe the stories we tell ourself over and over again." - Tony Robbins

"We all have our own story. And we stay attached to our story. This can stop us from growing and living. You wanna make your life better? Change your story, change your life." - Tony Robbins

"When you fail at something, you say you've tried everything cuz that makes you feel better. How have you really tried everything? If you had, you woulda found a solution. Bullshit!" - Tony Robbins

"You get what you tolerate." - Tony Robbins (ONE OF MY FAVORITES OF THE DAY!)

"Success leaves clues. Go figure out what someone who was successful did, and model it. Improve it, but learn their steps. They have knowledge." - Tony Robbins

"No one talks about failure. Let's talk about it. Why did you fail? I always hear 'resources' as the excuse -- not enough time, money, energy, technology. People blame resources as the excuse for failure. It's not the lack of resources that cause failure, it's the lack of resourcefulness that causes failure. Resourcefulness is the cure to failure. Successful people are resourceful and find a way to make it work." - Tony Robbins (MY SECOND-FAVORITE OF THE DAY).

"Decisions and not conditions determine your destiny. Your biography is NOT your destiny. Rather it's your DECISIONS that create your destiny." - Tony Robbins (And he used Oprah as a powerful example that her past, her story, did not get in the way of her destiny. Rather it was her life choices that changed her course. ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVORITES.)

"The path of least resistance is the path with no joy, no growth." - Tony Robbins

"Common sense is not common. If you're not doing it, it's not common." - Tony Robbins (SO TRUE.)

"Leap and the net will appear." - Oh, I so believe this!!

"How well you manage problems determines how far you go." - Bishop TJ Jakes

"It's the things that go wrong that make you better." - Bishop TJ Jakes

"Act like you know you're golden." - Iyanla Vanzant (as she danced down the aisles -- loved her).

"Embrace the truth. Speak the truth. Be the truth. When we welcome the truth, we live our lives like it's golden." - Iyanla Vanzant

"Tell the truth to yourself, about yourself. No one ever died from telling the truth. We often don't tell the truth. You gotta tell the truth as soon as you know it. - Iyanla Vanzant

"Tell the truth in a way that's kind." - Iyanla Vanzant

"Challenges are there to make you more aware of your inner purpose." - Deepak Chopra

And after two hours of incredible learning, my Oprah took the stage. Chills. Goosebumps. Tears.

She began telling us how thankful she was for all her fans, how she had been reading all the tweets and Facebook postings. She then said, "One girl wrote to me this morning that she just got out of the shower and was excited for Lifeclass." I don't know what made me blurt out -- and LOUD -- "THAT WAS ME!!!!!" Oprah then laughed and said, "Are you serious? WAIT, YES, IT WAS YOU! And you look just like your picture!" Again, I flushed scarlet.

And then, my Twitter was a buzzing: "Did Oprah just call you out from the stage?" and "Was Oprah just talking to you?" Then Adam Glassman, creative director of O, The Oprah Magazine tweeted me, "Was that just YOU xoxo?" Andrea Wishom, EVP of Harpo Studios wrote, "Hey! Just saw your cute moment with @Oprah just now!" "You look JUST like your picture!" "Have fun!" or "Saw you on the live streaming of Lifeclass. So cool!!! Is it as great as it seems?" Or "Oprah is talking to Erica Diamond. She must be on cloud 9!" They kept coming in.

All fun stuff.

Then, it was time to film Lifeclass. Our episode of Lifeclass on gratitude was about to be broadcasted live around the world. The curtain went up, and there they appeared.

[
From left to right: Iyanla Vanzant, Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Bishop TJ Jakes, Oprah Winfrey

It was a brilliant hour. Our episode will be the season finale, and will air on April 30.

Here were some other great highlights of the day:

Me and Maya Watson, Marketing Manager of Harpo

The brilliant Tony Robbins

Iyanla Vanzant dancing!

Deepak Chopra

Erik Logan and one of my favorites, Sheri Salata sharing some OWN news

This photo was shot one minute after I met Oprah. Hello, bucket list!

By the stage

[
On stage, flashing one of my tweets

Oprah talking

People Skyping in to speak to the experts

Me and Mom in the audience

Oprah in my row, watching the stage

Thank you all for tuning in!

So after a heavy six hours of learning, my mom and I walked back to our hotel, put on our running shoes, and explored Toronto. It was almost 90 degrees, and we ended up at a great Italian restaurant outside -- wine, pasta, and lots of conversation and reflections about the day. About our lives. About expectations, disappointments, celebrations, breakthroughs, and challenges.

We walked back to our hotel, showered, and there we were -- both in our own beds, on our own Macs watching Lifeclass, in our matching hotel bathrobes. It was quite the sight.

As I laid in my bed, I came to two real realizations: Those experts were really just preaching to the converted. It's funny, I find in life that the people who don't subscribe to spirituality or self-improvement, are usually the ones who need it the most. So, I urge you, if you are suffering in any way, to stop complaining, and take action. Movement, no matter how small, in the right direction, is game changing.

And second, Tony Robbins' concept is really one to embrace. There are really no excuses to failure. Resourcefulness and tenacity will win, every time. I speak from experience. You want something? Stop making excuses why you can't have it, and start getting resourceful. You'd be surprised just how resourceful and resilient women are.

When we arrived home yesterday, as I got out of the car to run in and see my boys for the first time in 48 hours, my mom took my hand, kissed it gently, and said to me, "These last two days were magical."

And they really were.

Tell me -- I'd love to know if any of the 23 lessons hit home, or if you have any of your own secrets that have improved your life. This is a broad community of women, always looking to get off the fence, and take the jump to their happiness. Share your tips and thoughts.