Josh Bowman

Why I Didn't Go To Your Show (And Why You Probably Won't Go To Mine)

2013-02-05T13:14:47-05:00

I'm broke. Ok, I'm not broke. I can afford food and rent. But as I get older, I'm realizing that my discretionary money has to be saved sometimes, and it means I have to make choices about where I spend it. I'm sorry, but your show is not my priority anymore.

It's going to suck. I hate to say it, but it might be that your show will suck. And what will happen is I will go to your show, and sit through an interminably long series of sketches/improv scenes/songs/modern dance numbers and then you will come up to me and I will have to tell you it was a great set, or I found it interesting. It's even worse if you bomb, and you know you bombed, and we both have to sit there and be encouraging. So, let's avoid it all and I'll stay home and send you a Facebook message later.

I'm socially awkward. I don't know why, but over the past year, year and a half, I have found it harder and harder to make small talk. So, instead of putting both of us through the awkward and uncomfortable motions of trying to communicate as two functional humans, I'm going to stay home and watch Dewey Cox, which won't be that great, but at least it's pretty inoffensive.

I'm not trying to get laid. I used to go to shows all the time because they were good places to meet fellow performers and acquaintances who might be interested in sleeping with me. Now that I am in a stable relationship with somebody who would definitely cut my balls off if I cheated (also I would never cheat because I love you!! Smooches!), the incentive to get gussied up and paint the town red is mostly gone.

I'm not trying to get drunk. As per above. Getting drunk was often a prelude to gathering the courage to ask somebody out. Now, getting drunk is just a way to feel terrible the next day, and spend money I don't have. No THANKS.

It's not my job. I have worked in theatre and I have worked in the music business. I have also been producing comedy shows for a while. When you work in the arts, going out and socializing at shows and concerts is part of your job. You have to be out and about, schmoozing, meeting people, and seeing what's "out there." It starts to become a real chore after a while. Now that I don't work in the arts anymore, I don't see all that much theatre/live music/comedy. It's sad to say. Maybe when I'm older and (hopefully) richer, I'll start getting subscriptions and seeing live shows again. Until then...sorry, but that ain't part of my job description no more.

I'm not trying to guilt you into seeing my show. In the arts world, people just go to each others' shows. There is an unspoken understanding that if you want me to see your show, you have to come to mine. This is particularly common in the Toronto comedy scene, I've noticed. So everybody goes to everybody else's thing, and the audiences just migrate from one theatre to the next. Well, I'm out of that equation. I still perform, and I'd like you to see me perform, but if you don't...I get it. I wasn't at your thing, after all.

You didn't invite me. Sometimes, I'm not invited to things. When I'm not invited to things, they aren't on my radar. So, I don't go. Honestly, I don't really understand why I'm invited to anything these days, but I appreciate it! You never know, I might just show up cause I'm bored!

I don't know any of the acts. I'm less exploratory than I used to be. If I don't know anybody on stage, or any of the acts, or any of the songs...I'm probably going to stay home. My time is precious ("but all you do is sit at home and watch Dewey Cox? WTF?" "Yeah, well...it's a sweet movie ok! Leave me alone!!"), and I'd much prefer to see something I know or know of. Same goes for restaurants, generally. I need somebody to tell me it's good. Then I'll go.

I'm depressed. Number one reason, generally, is that I'm depressed or tired. Maybe I'm stressed out from work. I don't have the energy to make it out. I'd like to see it. I really would. I just...can't.

Originally published here.

How One Girl Capitalized on the Ikea Monkey

2012-12-11T01:16:48-05:00

Full Disclosure: I have been friends with Bronwyn Page for a few years now. Her brother was my roommate, and we have a number of mutual friends. Bronwyn is a vibrant, social, and intelligent young woman. She is a combination of Holly Golightly and Mindy Kaling. She is also someone who (by her own admission) loves attention. Every year she throws herself several birthday parties, and her friends are indie rock musicians, CBC producers, craft brewers, writers, and other young dynamos.

When this Ikea Monkey story blew up on Sunday afternoon, I thought it was hilarious, and I knew it would be right up Bronwyn's alley to talk about the fact she was there.

By Sunday evening she'd already done four local TV interviews and lined up a handful of interviews for the next morning. On Monday, Bronwyn woke to find that much of Europe had caught on to the story and were requesting pictures and interviews from her. She Skyped with BBC World News later that day.

Her face was on Buzzfeed and the Ikea monkey story climbed to number one on Google News and Reddit.This whole monkey business had gotten out of hand, right? Not as far as Bronwyn was concerned.

I called Bronwyn up to talk about the media firestorm, and how she is handling her new-found celebrity. As usual, she is handling it with great aplomb. Her Twitter feed has been "non-stop since Sunday." She has gained hundreds of new followers, and stayed up until 2 a.m. on Sunday night dealing with all of the social media buzz around the story. She then woke up early on Monday morning to give interviews.

While she was modest about her success ("I don't know how it happened! Other people had much more to do with the monkey than I did."), Bronwyn did a remarkable job capitalizing on the rising interest of the story. She responded to media requests immediately, and stayed active on Twitter and Facebook.

Her friends designed memes (one of her live interviews even got auto-tuned), which she shared online. She had a significant role in building buzz around this issue, to the point where she had friends in Denmark and Sweden contacting her about the media attention she was receiving in their countries.

I asked how she would capitalize on this zeitgeist. More to the point, is it even possible to do so? One of the fascinating aspects of internet celebrity is how incredibly small the window is to capitalize on fame. The news cycle is fast and furious, and even being a day late means you are old news (as I will be when this article is published).

Bronwyn expressed interest in connecting with media figures and celebrities who she admires, but realized that her best chance to get responses is while there is still so much news and media attention on her. That means in the next few hours or, at most, days.

In this case, the star of this bizarre and hilarious story is a rising star in Canadian media. She studied Radio and Television Arts at Ryerson, and has worked on a variety of programs at CBC Radio, most recently as an Associate Producer with CBCMusic and Canada Reads.

Her own media savvy had a large role in this story being as successful as it was. While she initially was surprised by how quickly and vigorously the story was picked up, she was able to handle media interviews and online interest with skill and confidence.

I'm happy Ikea Monkey is so popular, because it is cute and hilarious. I know that in time, Bronwyn will be more than the "She Saw The Monkey" girl, but for now...that just might be enough.

Ten Lessons I Learned From Rob Ford

2012-11-26T13:37:26-05:00

On November 26, 2012, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford was found guilty of breaking provincial conflict of interest law, and has been ordered to leave the mayoral office in 14 days. He can appeal the ruling, and likely will.

Here are some of the lessons I have learned from the troubled and short reign of mayor Rob Ford:

As a public official, you must always be vigilant to act in an ethical and legal manner. No matter how small or inconsequential it might seem to you, even the slightest transgression can come back to haunt you.

Learn to reach across the aisle. You may disagree with someone politically, but it is unwise to cut yourself off from everyone who disagrees with you. You don't want to live in an echo chamber, and you don't want to create such a hostile environment that your opposition will have no sympathy for you when you fall. This goes for the Left, the Right, and everything in between.

Respect the media. All the media. If you don't speak to a newspaper that you disagree with, then they will print whatever they want without you.

Understand the local issues, and be open to changing your opinion once you have reviewed all the facts. Yes, your constituency might react poorly, but you will ultimately make for a more just and open-minded (and better) leader if you consider both sides of an issue before making a decision.

People hate nothing more than hypocrisy in politicians. Corrupt politicians who complain about corruption. Lazy politicians who complain about waste. Lying politicians who complain about a lack of accountability. Nobody is perfect, but if you are going to launch an attack, do your best to live by the principles you espouse.

Learn how to represent your city's issues nationally and internationally. Speak with decorum and political savvy. As a politician, you are also a diplomat. Understand what the expectations are, and represent your city with dignity and grace.

There is no such thing as easy money. Good fiscal responsibility requires long-term planning and cautious fiscal management. A ferris wheel or casino are not viable solutions to serious financial problems.

Be repentant when you err. Admit when you are wrong. Pick your battles. Do your research, and you will always speak with authority.

Your reputation is everything. Being removed from office for a conflict of interest is not as shameful as being arrested for crack cocaine use, but it's hardly something to celebrate.

When you are a politician, your life becomes your job. That means you have to give up some of your hobbies. If you don't like it, don't run for office.

This Ain't My Grandma's Republican Party

2012-09-27T00:08:55-04:00

My grandma Maloha was a card-carrying Republican all her life.

She grew up under the shadow of Coolidge, Hoover, Eisenhower, and (her hero) Reagan. Her proudest moment was serving Ronald Regan coffee while working as a waitress.

One of Maloha's most difficult trials was watching her son (my dad) leave the United States and come up to Canada to protest the Vietnam War. It was hard for her to watch him leave, but she still loved him and she loved the family he eventually raised (despite being a family of Godless Canadian Liberals. I think I just invented a new term for Ann Coulter to use: "GCL." I want residuals if she uses it). She knew my dad acted out of deep principles, and even though she wished he had stayed in the U.S., she understood his decision.

Maloha defined the word "feisty"; she was loud, outspoken, direct, and tough. She went through four (at least) marriages, including her first marriage to my grandfather Babe (an alcoholic jazz musician who spent most of their relationship on the road). Maloha worked hard. She waited tables, temped in offices, and ran her own wooden roller exercise machine "slenderizer" parlour. She was a self-made, hard-working, red-blooded American Republican. She even owned a handgun.

Maloha's principles fell fundamentally along traditional Republican lines: She believed in hard work, in taking care of yourself and your family, and in being a good neighbour. She pitched in to help her friends, and she wasn't afraid to speak out when she felt there was an injustice.

Maloha, like millions of seniors, valued the right to vote; when she was a child, not all women could vote. She valued her rights as an American. She lived through the Depression and the Civil Rights Movement, and multiple wars. She took her freedom seriously.

♦◊♦

I've been left-of-centre all my life, but I have also always had family and friends who were conservative, or who have held at least some conservative principles. Even I have some conservative principles (I am more fiscally conservative), and I'm a GCL. We live in a world where there are a multiplicity of views, and it behooves all of us to consider every view out there rationally and with an open-mind. I might debate an issue I believe in, but I'll go home and consider it from both sides. My grandma was the same way.

Watching the last few years of American politics from my side of the fence, I am absolutely flabbergasted by how deeply entrenched and polarized the two parties have become. In particular, I am appalled at the actions of the Republican party and the Conservative movement, both federally and at the State level. From voter suppression to media distortion to stalling the economy for political reasons to dismissing 47% of Americans to attacking science and education, the list goes on and on. And I didn't even mention the Birthers.

I'm not flabbergasted because the Republican Party has different political views than I do. We can respectfully disagree with one another. That's what it means to live in a democracy.

I'm flabbergasted because a party that is supposed to stand for individual freedom, family values, and good neighbourly conduct has seemingly forgotten those core principles in favour of elitism, reactionary social conservatism, partisan personal attacks, and a terrifying dismissal of the scientific method and fact-based research. The Grand Old Party has lost its way, and has become mean, bitter, and hard-line.

Maloha was a Republican, but first and foremost she was a neighbour, a friend, a mother, and a grandma. She loved and respected her family, even when we disagreed about politics. She believed in individual freedom, and the value of hard work. She moved all over California, living in L.A. for a while, then eventually moving to the tiny rural town of Rail Road Flat. She respected her friends, her family, and her neighbours. Even when they disagreed.

My grandma may have been a Republican, but she would be so disappointed in a party that has forgotten what it means to respect each other, even when you disagree. For her, it was a matter of principle.

Note: originally posted on The Good Men Project.

10 Signs She Is The One

2012-09-17T01:58:11-04:00

There are a lot of lists out there for women about how to find The One -- that special person you could build a life with. But as a guy, I find it's not something we talk about all that often. It got me thinking... what qualities would make for a great partner for my life, as a guy?

Your life is better when she's around. Things start to click. You land that new job. She helps you get your stuff organized. You start cooking again. You start really reducing that debt. She just makes you want to be a better person.

Your close buddies and family can't help but be charmed by her. Maybe you don't care what other people think, and that's fine. Isn't it nice, though, when your family and friends are just as enamoured with your girlfriend as you are? When you can all hang out and she holds her own? When she can tell dick jokes and listen to grandma talk about Jeopardy?

She's motivated and handles her business. Motivation is a huge turn-on for me. Somebody who can handle her business (whether that means working hard at her job, or juggling clients as a freelancer, or planning her future) is somebody who you can rely on. Boo co-dependency!

She has your back. Ah, Michelle Obama...what a woman! It means so much to know that your partner is in your corner and you owe it to her to be in hers. When you feel supported, it makes a world of difference.

She calls you on your shit. The flip side. Somebody who cares for you wants to you succeed, and she will help you, even if it means tough love. I'm not talking about nagging (which is THE WORST). I'm talking about somebody who keeps it real when you need her to. She gives you honest feedback on your writing. She plays devil's advocate. She calls out your messy room. Yeah, I'm mad at first, but I appreciate it later.

You trust her, but you are still a bit jealous. I used to brag that I was never jealous about my girlfriend. Now I realize that a little bit of jealousy is not a bad thing. I like the thought that I have to work to keep my relationship going, and I like knowing that people out there think my girlfriend is hot. At the same time, I don't want her to actually cheat on me....I just like the idea that she is desired, but I'm enough of a stud that she is gonna stick around. It's an ego game, I guess. But I think a bit of jealousy (note: I'm not talking insane, angry jealousy here...) shows you care.

She is funny. This is so important. Dating somebody without a sense of humour, or even a wildly different sense of humour, is torture. If she laughs at your jokes, and you at hers, she is probably a keeper. Humour = hot.

She is in the same place as you. In my experience, timing and location can impact relationships more than just about anything else. Does she want to travel the world? Is she stable? Does she just want something casual? Is she interested in having kids? Is she religious? A lot of these questions can be deal-breakers, and the more you have in common ("oh, I just want a casual, no kids relationship where we travel the world and pray to our God the Giant Spaghetti Monster too!"), the better.

You have sexual chemistry. This is critical. She isn't your friend, she's your romantic partner. If the sex isn't happening, and it can't be saved with therapy and lots of talking, then you may need to DTMF (Dump The MotherF***er -- all credit to Dan Savage). To further steal from Mr. Savage, it helps if both of you are GGG (Good, Giving, and Game) for just about anything in the bedroom.

She makes you feel...like a natural man. I'm not naturally a terrifically manly man. I play basketball and keep in shape, and I'm (pretty much) straight. Also, I look good in a suit. In a lot of ways, however, I can be pretty effete and/or childlike. Consequently, it is important to me to be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't constantly emasculate me. Even the most liberal, bicycle-riding, hippy-dippy, skinny-jeans wearing, bi-curious dandy likes to feel like a high-status man sometimes.

Also read Josh Bowman's "Ten Signs She Might NOT Be The One" and "She's The One" by Tom Matlack.

Do We Need Charities When Fundraising Is So Easy?

2012-08-18T00:00:53-04:00

Anybody who works in the charitable sector knows that things ain't what they used to be.

While charitable giving is recovering well since the recession, we are learning tough lessons about what the modern donor needs before making a gift. Many donors today want to know how their gift truly makes a difference. They are interested in personal stories. They want to connect to the cause.

They want a two-way conversation, and to be more involved with their charities of choice. They may have decreased the number of charities they give to in order to have a larger impact on a small group of chosen causes. Direct mail, while still effective, is being combined with email, social media, and face-to-face fundraising to create nuanced and integrated multi-channel fundraising programs.

Charities today are actively looking for innovative ways to connect people to their causes. What is interesting is how much innovation is coming from outside the traditional charitable sector. We are learning that if a cause or a project matters to people, they want to be a part of it even if it is not connected to a known charity. What is surprising is what kinds of causes people want to support, and how they go about supporting those causes.

Some of the most recent successful campaigns have happened through crowdsourcing platforms such as Indiegogo and Kickstarter (among others). Crowdsourcing is the process of outsourcing labour or investment to an undefined public. Wikipedia is based on a principle of crowdsourcing. So are investment-based platforms, where a project is funded by the general online public.

Crowdsourcing can be remarkably successful:

Marketing guru and author Seth Godin recently made headlines through his Kickstarter campaign to fund his next book, The Icarus Deception: Why Make Art? He raised a total of $287,342 for his book, with a compelling message of how authors create art, and how there might be other methods of distributing books and connecting to readers.

Anita Sarkeesian raised $158,922 for a project to study gender tropes in video games. Unfortunately, through this process she received unprecedented threats of rape, death, and violence. Fortunately, she raised enough money to be able to focus on her project full-time, addressing the type of rhetoric and violent speech that was targeted at her.

While not a charitable cause by any stretch, the Pebble "e-paper watch" raised a stunning $10,266,846 for their watch project. Makes you think what that kind of money could do for your cause, doesn't it?

♦◊♦

Two recent projects have caught my attention as examples of how you can raise money on a grand scale, or promote a smaller project to a grassroots audience.

The first project is The Oatmeal's hilarious and passionate Indiegogo campaign to buy back Nikola Tesla's old laboratory, known as the Wardenclyffe Tower, and eventually turn it into a museum. The goal is $850,000, and the campaign has already raised over $380,000. In two days. The push is on to raise at least the full goal; additional money raised will go towards building the museum over the next few years.

The Oatmeal is no stranger to raising huge sums of money for charity in a comedic way. This past July, the site managed to raise $211,223 for the National Wildlife Federation and the American Cancer Society as a result of a dispute with Funnyjunk.com.

The Oatmeal is doing something remarkable: using the site's popularity, combined with (site owner and artist) Matthew Inman's abiding love of Nikola Tesla, they are getting thousands of people to financially support a cause that would be unthinkable through conventional means. Can you imagine raising almost a million dollars through a letter campaign for a Nikola Tesla Museum?

With the exception of very specific grant programs (which this project has actually acquired from the State of New York for $850,000, or half the required funding), you wouldn't think that there would be that much interest in building a museum for a respected but controversial scientist who has been dead for over 70 years. You would clearly be wrong. Never mind that this would be the second Nikola Tesla Museum; the first one has been quietly sitting in Belgrade since 1952. People want their American Tesla museum, and they want it now! (or over the next few years)

This project is terrifically well put together. The Indiegogo site is targeted brilliantly to The Oatmeal fans, who have already shown their willingness to support the site in July. The incentives for donors are significant, starting with a photo of Tesla, and ending with a hotel stay in New York to attend a Tesla conference.

This is crowdsourcing done right. A very specific purpose. A passionate commitment to the cause. An ambitious goal. A clear and compelling lists of incentives, a huge social media presence, and a lot of goodwill.

♦◊♦

On the other side, we have a small project that came to my attention from Clarity, a singer-songwriter in Australia. Clarity and her project manager Wendy Hanks are looking to create music for children (aged 6-12) to combat the hyper-sexualized imagery and music they are exposed to on a regular basis. Their thesis, based on 'Letting Children be Children' (Report of an Independent Review of the Sexualisation and Commercialisation of Children), is that there is a lack of access to age appropriate music for children aged 6-12, resulting in many younger children consuming music that is hyper-sexualized and not appropriate for their age level.

This project is interesting, because while the focus is on providing funding for the artist Clarity to record her album, the incentive behind the project is provide positive and age-appropriate music to a group of impressionable and often under-represented children.

Clarity's funding site reflects the grassroots nature of the project. The incentives are small, and there are only two giving levels. The video is simple, and the message is simple. While there are definitely areas I would recommend updating (higher incentivized giving levels, a cleaner and more direct message, and a sample of music in the video...also, a description of what the next steps would be if the goal is reached or exceeded), I find it inspiring that a young artist can take an issue she is passionate about and put together an appeal on her own initiative.

Imagine an artist like this starting up a site for a different cause: to save a local theatre, work with low income children, save a park or local museum...the possibilities are endless. Clarity's sincerity comes through, doing far more for her cause than a slick, but impersonal, donation ask could ever provide.

♦◊♦

I believe that there are millions of people online who are eager to make a positive difference in their world. I believe that charities who are in a position to help create that change must know how to connect with those people in a passionate way that matters. I believe charities must find champions outside of the organization who want to take more initiative. Maybe they will tell their friends about why this matters on Facebook and get a petition signed. Maybe they will start their own Kickstarter campaign to save an endangered species or even just get a few more books in a local school. Charities can't remain static; not with so many wonderful tools and people who are just waiting to help make a difference.

To support The Oatmeal's campaign to help build a Tesla museum, go here.

To support Clarity's "The Gap" project, go here.

To read Seth Godin's excellent post on his Kickstarter campaign, go here.

Originally posted at The Good Men Project.

Real Villains of Batman Shooting are Lax Gun Laws

2012-07-20T15:19:22-04:00

Last night, at the opening night of The Dark Knight Rises, a gas-masked gunman opened fire at a theatre full of people, killing twelve and injuring dozens more. From CBS:

The violent and chaotic scene erupted about 12:30 a.m. local time as the suspected gunman, identified as 24-year-old James Holmes, stood at the front of one of the Century 16 theaters at the Aurora Mall where the latest Batman movie The Dark Knight Rises was playing. Witnesses reported that the gunman entered the theater through an emergency exit door and threw a gas canister before opening fire.

He reportedly had a shotgun, two pistols, an assault rifle, gas canisters, and potentially explosives in his home.

This is a horrible tragedy. Children as young as three months old were sent to the emergency room.

What I don't understand is how it can possibly be alright for a civilian to have access to these kinds of weapons. I don't understand how these shootings can happen over and over again, and we have state governments who seem to have their hands tied by gun lobby groups like the NRA. It is outrageous. Innocent people are being mowed down because it is incredibly easy for anybody to acquire and carry assault rifles, handguns, and even automatic weapons. In some states, anybody can walk around with a concealed weapon. In other states, you can shoot somebody if they are on your property. I live in Canada, but even here there are clearly enough guns to go around.

Did you know that the United States was reported to be the most armed country in the world, with 90 guns for every 100 citizens? There are 270 million firearms in the U.S. alone as of this report, which means it is almost 300 million now. I hate to use an individual tragedy to make a political point, but to me there is a direct relationship between the high volume of gun ownership, easy access to weapons, and widespread gun violence. In the U.S. in 2011, there were an astounding 12,996 murders, 8,775 of which were caused by firearms. America leads the world in school shootings.

Violent incidents like what happened in Aurora, Colorado exist within a larger cultural, legal, and social framework. If we continue to ignore that framework and the root causes of this violence, we do so at our peril. My heart goes out to the victims of this horrible incident in Colorado, I hope the perpetrator is locked up forever, and I hope that we really consider what steps we need to take to stop this violence from recurring again.

Originally posted on goodmenproject.com.

Ten Things I've Learned From Nora Ephron

2012-06-28T16:36:11-04:00

Nora used her films as vehicles to talk about women in new ways, to address elements of institutional sexism, to tell honest stories. She used humour to bring her audience with her, and she was loved because of it.

As a writer, you might be surprised to discover your niche. Nora Ephron became a go-to writer for Romantic Comedies, but she began her work as a journalist in the 1960s and 70s.

Some things are meant to be private. While many people were surprised to learn that Nora had been diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia back in 2006, it was her secret to keep as she lived vibrantly for the past six years.

Some secrets are meant to eventually become public. Nora reportedly knew the identity of Deep Throat for many years before it was made public, and reportedly would tell anybody who asked.

As a principled young activist, Nora Ephron marched on Washington in 1967 against the Vietnam War. Unfortunately, she didn't remember much of the march because she was holed up in a hotel for most of it having sex with a lawyer. Still, it's the thought that counts, right?

Writing a screenplay means that you will watch your initial work change many times over the course of a production. I'd imagine Nora Ephron's original screenplays were, in some cases, much snappier and more savvy than the final result.

Food is delicious. Knowing how to cook food is socially important. We socialize around food, we exist because of food. We should appreciate food, and the luxury we have to truly enjoy it.

Who else would write Billy Crystal, Tom Hanks, and Stanley Tucci as romantic leads (ok, maybe the casting directors had some say too...)?

Humour and satire are powerful vehicles to tell important stories. Nora used her films as vehicles to talk about women in new ways, to address elements of institutional sexism, to tell honest stories. She used humour to bring her audience with her, and she was loved because of it.

There are smart ways to callback classic film tropes. Sleepless in Seattle is an excellent example of this.

It is hard to tell the difference between a fake and real orgasm. Particularly if you are having sex with Meg Ryan.

Originally published here.

By the Time I Get to Arizona -- What SB 1070 Means Now

2012-06-27T19:34:37-04:00

Whether or not the climate in Arizona is becoming more progressive, the passage of SB 1070 contained a chilling anti-immigrant subtext, and has had larger ramifications for the rest of the country.

In San Francisco, I met a remarkable Diné man named Rocky. Rocky makes delicious fry bread in the Mission district, and has a loyal and devoted clientele. Everybody loves Rocky. If you are ever in San Francisco, go to "El Rio" in the Mission, ask for the fry bread, and tip generously.

Rocky spoke with me about his experience living in Arizona, and how he made the decision to leave after the passing of SB 1070. There were other factors, of course. He moved out to San Francisco with his girlfriend at the time. He wanted a change.

What really stuck out for me was Rocky's awareness that life became a lot less safe for him in Phoenix in the summer of 2010. He could be stopped at any time and asked for his papers, and arrested if he did not have proper documentation. He could be harassed on a day to day basis by police with no recourse for justice.

The thing is, Rocky is Diné. Also known as Navajo. Also known as Native American. Also known as the first people encountered by European colonialists (also known as our forefathers). Rocky is as far from an illegal immigrant as you can get.

Rocky is not an illegal Mexican immigrant, but if by the guidelines of SB 1070 he looked that way to a passing police officer, or if the police had reason to suspect that he is illegal, he could be stopped and potentially arrested. People who hire him or house him could be fined or worse. While Jan Brewer has taken great pains to publicly condemn the notion of racial profiling by the police, Arizona doesn't have the best history when it comes to race, and a new police training manual does not guarantee an end to racial profiling.

To some extent, things have changed in Arizona since SB 1070 was first signed into law by Jan Brewer. This past Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down three of four key provisions of SB 1070, reversing many of the harsher elements of one of the strictest anti-immigration laws in recent American history.

Arizona business leaders and community groups have reportedly made an effort to encourage a "more tolerant climate for immigrants", following a series of country-wide boycotts of Arizona tourism businesses and hotels that have cost the state upwards of $141 million.

Whether or not the climate in Arizona is becoming more progressive, the passage of SB 1070 contained a chilling anti-immigrant subtext, and has had larger ramifications for the rest of the country.

Laws such as SB 1070 (which was imitated unsuccessfully in six other states) are reflective of larger economic fears and xenophobia.

When we talk about laws that crack down on illegal immigrants, we are specifically speaking about Mexican immigrants who illegally cross the border to work in the U.S. When we talk about racial profiling at the airport, we are really speaking about stopping Muslims who we "reasonably suspect" could be terrorists. When we talk about policing gang violence in inner cities, we are discussing young Black and Hispanic men. All of these conversations are couched in language that hide their inherent prejudice, and this misdirected fear comes from our reaction to stories we see in the media, personal experiences, and financial instability.

When xenophobia and fear become law, the consequences are far-reaching and create a variety of challenges. Just look to Trayvon Martin, and the complications created by the Stand-your-ground law in Florida. In the case of SB 1070, we see a ripple of anti-immigration sentiment in other states. Not enough time has passed to assess the impact this law (even with the Supreme Court revisions) has had on the lives of Arizonans or Americans in general, but without a doubt it reinforces a larger discriminatory and anti-immigration sentiment already roiling just under the surface.

I suspect that in Arizona right now, less individuals are coming forward to report crimes to the police, for fear of being arrested or worse. I suspect more innocent "suspicious-looking" (read: Hispanic) citizens are being stopped and questioned on the street and while driving. I suspect that, in general, Arizona is a less kind and less safe place to live for young American entrepreneurs like Rocky.

Fear and prejudice are dangerous and unwieldy legislative tools, and they can spread like wildfire (particularly in an uncertain economy). The Supreme Court has attempted to provide some level of moderation, but it is up to every state official to act rationally in the best interests of all of their constituents, and not in fear or out of prejudice.

A Naturally Anxious Guy's Tips To Relaxation

2012-06-14T08:07:51-04:00

Life is stressful.

You wake up late. Or you wake up with allergies or a headache. You make it out the door, only to get crushed in the subway, stuck in traffic, or nearly 'doored' on your bike. You get into work, and you are already behind. Sometimes it feels endless. As a naturally depressed and anxious person, here are some things I suggest you do to relax:

Take a walk outside. Even when it's raining. If it is raining, I can come back to work dripping wet and say "holy crap, it's raining out there guys! Why didn't I bring a jacket??" I make a whole thing of it, and stomp over to the washroom. That process usually takes at least 20 minutes out of my day.

Yell and grunt. There are a few socially sanctioned times to yell and grunt, including: biking uphill, moving a boulder, doing bench presses, fighting a dog/wolf/bear, playing football, throwing a discus. Find a reason to do one of these activities, and work out some of that deep rage and frustration.

Have a nap. Maybe you are just tired, and it is making you irritable. Does your workplace have a corner in which you can doze for a quick 15? Snag a nap and wake up peppy!

Get drunk. Now, I actually don't drink anymore because I have a lot of emotional issues I need to deal with, but I fondly recall those days where I would blow off some steam with my friends by drinking too much Sailor Jerry and Coke Zero (note, this post is not sponsored by either brand in any way). When was the last time you got drunk and went dancing? Oh, last night? And the night before? Actually...maybe just rent a movie tonight.

Eat a cupcake. Look: the fact is, cupcakes are delicious. Just eat one. Really get into it. Don't think about calories or anything. Pour yourself into that cupcake and eat that stress away!

Close your eyes and clear your mind. Just like the Ghostbusters (the first one, where they try not to think about anything Gozer could use to destroy the city, but then stupid Ray thinks of the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow Man), try not to think about anything dangerous or stressful.

Have sex or masturbate. Maybe you just have a lot of pent-up sexual frustration. Take care of it and enjoy that temporary feeling of warm euphoria.

Do yoga. I have never done yoga, but people I know who are way more chillaxed than me swear by it. Warning: yoga may cause you to grow a ponytail and wear really tight pants everywhere you go. Also, yoga may lead to energy healing and a belief in the power of 'flower essences.'

Sing karaoke. I love singing karaoke. Find a real power ballad and belt it out. You will feel like a rock star. Stay away from songs that have words like 'tear' or 'ain't no...' in their titles. They are likely sad, and will not help you.

Laugh at yourself. You are a ridiculous person. No really, you are. Don't take yourself too seriously, and life suddenly becomes a lot less stressful.

Shocker! Tasers May Cause Death

2012-05-14T12:08:30-04:00

A new study published by Dr. Douglas Zipes has found that Tasers can cause death in some cases.

The study is being questioned by Taser International Inc., because Dr. Zipes has been paid to be a witness in a number of Taser-related court cases. Whether or not the study is valid, there were over 300 Taser-related deaths between 2001 and 2008, and there is a reticence by law enforcement officials and Taser International Inc. to acknowledge the potential dangers of these devices.

A number of medical examiners and Taser officials have concluded that in many Taser-related deaths, the cause of death was a case of "excited delirium," often related to mental illness or drug abuse.

While this diagnosis has faced criticism from civil rights groups, it still begs the question: if death from "excited delirium" is a possible consequence of Taser use, particularly when it comes to individuals who may have mental health or drug abuse issues, shouldn't that suggest much more cautious use of these devices?

Just over two years ago, the RCMP publicly apologized to Zofia Cisowski for the death of her son. For those who don't remember, Robert Dziekański was a Polish immigrant who became agitated at the Vancouver International Airport, and was subsequently Tasered multiple times by RCMP officers until he died.

While the RCMP did issue an apology, and while the Braidwood Commission did report that there was misconduct in the incident, very little was actually done to restrict Taser use, or properly charge the officers in question.

Tasers are still dangerous weapons. While they are restricted to law enforcement officials in Canada, they can be legally carried in 43 States in the U.S. without a permit.

Without a proper acknowledgement of the risks involved with using these weapons, there will continue to be considerable potential for abuse.

The Talk: Nonwhite Version

2012-04-09T14:53:48-04:00

As a response to how black parents have had "the talk" with their children following the recent murder of Trayvon Martin, noted racist and modern-day Latin-afficionado John Derbyshire recently penned a reflective, presumably tongue-in-cheek advice piece for fellow fearful, racist white parents who may be concerned about their children interacting too much with black Americans.

As a white myself, I appreciate Mr. Derbyshire's efforts, and would like to pay for it by providing non-whites with some advice on the talk you may wish to have with your children about us. You're welcome.

************************* (you know I'm serious by how many stars I've typed here)

(1) Among your fellow citizens are over 220 million who identify themselves as white, and whom I shall refer to as white. The confusing (and Dave Matthews non-compliant-he's South African) term "European-American" seems to be in decline, thank heavens! "Cracker" and "Honky" are archaisms. What you must call the 'W' word (I mean "Whitey", but I'm just too much of a coward to actually write what I mean) is used freely among us whites, but is a no-no to nonwhites.

(2) American whites are descended from European populations, with some Viking ad-mixture. Probably.

(3) Your own ancestry is (insert here), but whites will take you to be nonwhite, and will probably ask you where you grew up ("No, but like...where did your parents grow up?").

(4) Whites are just like anybody else (see below for how we totally aren't), and we are entitled to the same courtesies as you would extend any nonwhite (although we may not understand your handshakes). In return, we will do our best to ignore you and look back down at our copies of the latest E.L. James novel.

(5) As with any population of such size, there are many variations among whites of any human trait you can think of. Fat, skinny, annoying, goofy, entitled, creative, likes long walks on the beach, doesn't like commitment, likes wearing shorts, doesn't like wearing shorts, and patronizing. There are white car salesmen and white suit salesmen. You get the idea. We really are just like other human beings! Except no white people have ever won a "Vibe" award. Except maybe Eminem. Anyway, most people live and die without ever meeting (or wanting to meet) a Vibe-award winner.

(6) As you go through life, you will encounter a great number of white Americans. We are literally everywhere. Assuming your encounters are random -- just off the top of my head, let's say not restricted to white pedophiles or Presidents of America -- you will start to notice that many traits are very different for white and black Americans, as has been confirmed by countless stand-up comedy routines.

(7) Of utmost important to your personal safety are the very (italics mine -- for emphasis) different means for antisocial behavior, which you will see reflected in, for instance, a love of adult contemporary music, passive-aggressive behaviour and an inability to handle really spicy food without getting really red in the face.

(8) These differences are magnified by the ignorance we whites have towards other races. So not only do we not know much about other white people, we don't know anything about the rest of the world. Remember Ms. Teen South Carolina? Even A.C. Slater was like, "Come on!"

(9) I'm just going to go ahead and make up some percentages here, and say that around 50 per cent of white people feel really uncomfortable around nonwhite people, and the other 50 per cent of us white people try super-hard to act like we aren't racist by having at least one non-white friend. I personally have several. Some whites really hate non-whites, or are racist and try to couch their racism in academic language and fancy words. I can't really say why they do this, but I would probably avoid them at dinner parties.

(10) Thus, as you can see by my airtight argument here, just be careful around whites and use common sense:

(10a) Avoid concentrations of whites not known to you personally. If they are known to you through MTV (i.e. the band "The Fray") or if you recognize them from a dream that you had, they are probably ok.

(10b) Stay out of heavily white neighborhoods, unless you are really into sipping lattes and listening to Michael Buble while wearing yoga pants.

(10c) If planning a trip to a museum or a park or whatever at some random time or something (I'm just phoning this one in, to be honest), find out whether there will be a lot of whites around. Seriously. I am suggesting that you pick up the phone, call the city, and find out if a lot of white people will be at the park. Do it. See what happens.

(10d) Do not attend events likely to draw a lot of whites. Avoid St. Patrick's Day like the plague. That's just good advice in general.

(10e) If you are hanging out at some event, like Caribana, and suddenly you see a ton of white people show up, get the hell out of there. They will just ruin the whole vibe. Same goes for your favourite Chinese food restaurant.

(10f) Don't live anywhere run by white politicians. In other words, move to Jacksonville, Florida. Or...not America.

(10g) Before voting for a white politician, scrutinize their character more than you would...oh, who am I kidding, you just vote randomly anyway, don't you, just like everybody else?

(10h) Don't help anybody ever. They will axe murder you!

(10i) If accosted by a strange white in the street, smile but keep moving. They are either trying to sell you religion or get you to become a monthly donor to Greenpeace. Either way, that's at least 15 minutes of your life you will never get back.

(11) White people do pretty well on IQ tests. In a totally unrelated note, white people created the IQ test. I'm going to use some italics here: nine in 10 whites. Five in 14 blacks. Seven in six dolphins. You do the math. In conclusion, "any argument is more compelling when you use statistics."

(12) Many white people hate affirmative action. Here is why. Let's say you give your white toddler a whole bunch of toys. You love the little guy, and you want him to have everything. Then you adopt a new baby. Let's say that she is black. Your first toddler is way ahead of the game here, and has all the toys. Now what happens when you ask the first toddler to share their toys with their new black sister? And when you start to give her more attention? The toddler gets upset, and starts screaming and throwing a tantrum. Then he grows up and writes a letter to Congress about affirmative action taking away his speedboat.

(13) There are many Whites who are Able, Social, Capable, Independent, Smart, and Talented (I will use WACIST as an ad hoc abbreviation.) You should go out of your way to pretend to be friends with WACISTs. Not only do you get a well-mannered new friends to impress with your (insert ethnicity here) cooking, but nobody will fire you for "not fitting in."

(14) Be aware, however, that there are not too many WACISTs about, and they are in high demand. Most white people are the worst.

(15) Unfortunately, the demand is greater than the supply, so WACISTs are somewhat like the elusive chupacabra, or Bigfoot: boasted of by monster hunters, coveted by people who watch TLC. Just look at the smile on the face of a non-white in the company of a WACIST! Wipe that drool off your face and try not to be too envious, it will be taken as prejudice. Not that I'm bitter (I'M TOTALLY BITTER).

*******************************************************************************************************************************************

You don't have to, and really shouldn't, listen to anything I just wrote. If you don't know how to raise your own children to be open-minded and thoughtful young people, then there is not much I or anybody else can do for you. We live in a society that is still climbing out of the muck of many years of slavery and colonialism and general discrimination. Our kids need to learn how to recognize and call out racism (and prejudice); not to reinforce it.

10 Things Every Charity Should Know

2012-03-24T23:52:09-04:00

People like giving, and often feel awkward about being thanked for it. But secretly, they appreciate it.

How a donor responds to direct mail is often different from what they say they want. Why do you think so many charities use frills (like mailing labels)? They make a lot more money than they cost. I don't love frills personally, but there is a lot of hard data to suggest that they work. And that's just one example.

Giving is emotional, not rational. We might rationalize it, we might want to see evidence, but the impulse that triggers the gift is an emotion.

Older ladies and gentlemen who have time to talk can be enlightening. I spoke with a woman who grew up in war-torn Eastern Europe. She learned how to cook and feed her family in an extremely difficult situation. She hated cooking, but she was an expert at preparing and storing the most food possible. She wanted to make donations because she understood, on a very personal level, what it means to go hungry.

Different charities very often have different groups of people who donate to them, meaning there is less competition than you would think. The kind of person who might want to donate to Lincoln Centre is often very different from someone who may donate to a hunger relief organization. Is there cross-over? Of course! But understanding motivations for different types of gifts is critical.

Arts organizations walk a fine line between providing professional productions and selling out houses (which are important for grants, publicity, revenue, and reviews) and also clearly demonstrating need. Simply put, a person who walks into a beautiful theatre to see a sold out show will have a hard time understanding why that theatre needs support. They might still donate out of principle, or for prestige, or for naming rights, or through a personal or board connection, but it doesn't have the same perceived urgency. Arts fundraising is tough.

People are more generous than we give them credit for. And while we celebrate the wealthy 5 per cent who give large sums of money to build programs/schools/theatres/hospital wings, we should also celebrate the senior who gives five,ten, or 25 every year on a fixed income. Because that money is incredibly hard to part with when you're just making ends meet.

Rich people are, surprisingly, just like not-rich people, and often don't like to be treated as walking money bags! Imagine that?!?

Donors want to be respected and listened to. If somebody asks to be taken off a mailing list, they get pissed (rightfully) when they get mail the next year. All you can do is apologize and do your best to fix it for the future.

The only way to learn what people want is by asking them, by testing, and by taking risks. We can make all the assumptions we want, but the reality is you can't know anything if you don't test. People like being asked for their opinions.

Why We Want Trayvon Martin's Death to "Mean Something"

2012-03-22T12:47:27-04:00

Race still matters, and for the foreseeable future, race will continue to matter.

It is fascinating to read through my Facebook newsfeed sometimes. Certain news stories will be perceived so differently among my friends. Some news stories are highlighted in particular communities (stories about Israel/Palestine, for instance, get a lot of exposure among my activist and Jewish friends), while other news stories are ignored by some, trumpeted by others (I first learned about Trayvon Martin's story from my African-American friends, long before anybody else picked it up).

Trayvon's death at the hands of George Zimmerman touches on, at the macro level, a ton of different political issues: gun and self-defence laws in Florida, vigilantism, the perception of young black men in American (and Canadian, for that matter) society, and race relations. I think that deep down, many people want his death to "mean something," not to just be another example of senseless violence.

I believe in gun control, and I believe that the notion of a "war on crime" is deeply flawed. Criminals are people who exist within a larger socio-economic context; one of marginalization, poverty, and drug and alcohol abuse (among countless other factors). We build more prisons and arm more citizens, without thinking about how we can provide social support for those in need.

Skittles. Nothing is more chilling than the visual I get of this skinny kid holding not a handgun, but a bag of Skittles.

George Zimmerman has already been tried in the court of public opinion. On one side, he is forever guilty, a representation of societal bias and profiling. On another side, he is a citizen standing up against criminals, doing what the law is afraid or unable to do. I am highly sceptical about his claims of self-defence, but until all the facts are in I can't say I really know what happened that night.

When you call 911, and they tell you not to take the law into your own hands, listen to them.

We have the capacity to gather reams of evidence independently and share that evidence online. This article in Mother Jones is an excellent example of how detailed (and compelling) the analysis can get. It makes finding an unbiased jury much more difficult for high-profile cases.

We aren't cowboys or secret agents; so why are we carrying around concealed handguns?

My heart goes out to Trayvon's friends and family. I can't imagine what it means to lose a teenage son. I hope that constructive change comes from this tragic incident. I really do. Many of these conversations are long overdue.

Dear Rush: In Canada, We Take Care of Our "Sluts"

2012-03-05T12:14:28-05:00

It was only just over 100 years ago (1892) that the sale or advertisement of contraception in Canada was outlawed.

Dr. Elizabeth Bagshaw was one of Canada's first female doctors, and believed that all women have the right to prevent pregnancy. She established the first family planning clinic in 1932, even though it was illegal at the time. Momentum built through the pressure of Planned Parenthood, Canadian doctors, church leaders, and other Canadian citizens (such as industrialist Alvin Ratz Kaufman).

Thirty-seven years later, contraception was decriminalized.

In 1972, Dr. Elizabeth Bagshaw was made a member of the Order of Canada (the highest honour of merit you can get in Canada without going straight to the Queen).

These days, thanks to a public health care system, any woman can access birth control pills through a prescription from their nurse or doctor. The cost is low ($25-$30/month), and many corporate insurance plans will cover the majority, if not all, of that cost. In 1998, 86 per cent of Canadian women had used a contraceptive pill at some point in their lives.

This history informs how we view contraception in Canada. We teach safe sex in our high schools. We have countless free and confidential clinics in our universities and community centres (which often provide free condoms and other contraceptive devices). We glorify those individuals who have fought for women's reproductive rights, such as Dr. Bagshaw or Dr. Henry Morgentaler. Birth control is a public health issue in Canada, and while not everybody agrees on the issue in this country, our priority is on health care above all else.

Across the pond, Americans are engaged in a deep and polarizing ideological debate. Birth control, contraception, and abortion are framed in religious or political terms. Health care is seen as a hot button issue. Rush Limbaugh, host of the highest-rated talk-radio program in the U.S., considers women who use contraception to be "sluts," particularly if they want the government to pay for contraception. The concept that insurers cannot opt out of providing health care in cases where they find it to be "morally objectionable" is hotly contested at the highest level of government.

I have friends living in New York, Chicago, South Carolina, and New Orleans. My sister is in San Francisco, and my family is from all over California. Their health and basic reproductive freedoms are in the hands of legislators and pundits, many of whom are debating whether they should even have access to either.

It's tough to compare these two scenarios. I take it for granted that my friend/girlfriend/sister/colleague can access health care or contraception whenever they need it. I know that if she chooses to do so, a woman in Canada has the freedom to get an abortion. Pierre Trudeau, arguably our most celebrated Prime Minister, famously stated that "there's no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation." We govern accordingly, protecting the privacy and rights of all of our citizens.

As I watch and read the heated rhetoric right now in the U.S., it makes me realize that this debate will never go anywhere while it is framed ideologically. Access to birth control and contraception is about public health, and public health policy is only effective when we have the freedom and knowledge to make healthy choices, and affordable access to medication and health care.

I can't wait for the day when all American citizens will be able to take that access and freedom for granted, as I do here in Canada.