2013-06-19T11:52:42-04:00 Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/author/index.php?author=kathy-buckworth Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Kathy Buckworth Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3458332 2013-06-18T11:57:09-04:00 2013-06-18T12:12:52-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
Also, be prepared for the following conversation:

Him: Okay, honey, so I'll take care of dinner tonight. I picked up some steaks.
Me: Great. So what are we having with them?
Him: Potatoes and corn.
Me: You have that?
Him: We always have potatoes and corn in the house. (Sadly, we do.)
Me: Okay, whatever.
Him: Right then, I'm starting up the barbecue.
Me: Yeah, listen, I only need about an hour to get the other stuff ready. You might want to wait.
Him: (Gone outside.)
Me: *%^&*'ng idiot.
Him: I'm ready for those steaks now.
Me: Fabulous. Hope they need about forty-give minutes on the barbecue because that's how long the rest of the dinner is going to take. Hey, who's setting the table?
Him: (Back outside again, stopping only to grab a beer out of the fridge.)
Me: %^$&#*'ng idiot. Kids, get in here and set the table and help me husk the corn!
Him: Okay, we're almost done.
Me: Stupendous. Just cut my finger with a knife while trying to peel the potatoes because your idiot son used the potato peeler to whittle a stick last week. Oh, yeah. The corn is still hard and we've only found four forks.
Him: (Gone. The sound of a beer cap twisting can be heard from the deck.)
Me: ^&$^#'ng idiot. Ouch. Crap. Damn.
Him; And we're ready. Kids, dinner!
Me: What the hell are you doing? The potatoes are half raw, the water for the corn hasn't boiled yet and I'm still on hold with Telehealth to see about this red line that's travelling up my arm from the cut on my finger.
Him: Mmmmmm. Now that's a steak. Your Dad knows how to cook, eh guys?

If you plan to go the barbequing route during the week, you might want to make sure you
have bagged salad, frozen French fries, or other "ready in an instant" side dishes in the
fridge or freezer. As an alternative, you can also practice counting to ten. Whatever
works for you.

Excerpted with permission from Kathy Buckworth's Shut Up and Eat! Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay, Key Porter Books, 2010. Available at bookstores everywhere, online at Kobo and now on Audible.com ]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3426713 2013-06-12T16:33:16-04:00 2013-06-12T17:04:24-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
Why would this be?

Personally I'm not entirely surprised by the findings. I think Albert Einstein had stay-at-home moms in mind when he defined the word "insanity" as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Have you ever been at home with young children? Have you tried to get them to clean up their rooms, pee into the toilet, or stop hitting their sister? No matter how many times they are told (clearly it is not "nagging" when it is simply giving them excellent advice), the outcome is often the same. Nothing changes. At least not immediately, and not without years of bribing and threats.

Add to that the fact that my research (I drove around a bit) shows that there isn't a big list moms can carpool to at the end of the day in order to check off: a) Continued successfully raising child, b) ensured food was edible and in good portion size and c) minimum health standards were met. Many moms at home just don't get to feel that sense of accomplishment that comes with actually moving something forward and affecting change. Not in the short term, at any rate, and one of the most distressing things a parent of young children can hear from parents of older children is that it "never gets easy."

There's no such thing as a performance review when you're on the home front: except for the ones you get from snarly teenage girls who aren't necessarily focusing on your positive attributes, as the ones in a professional work environment might. Unless "You suck" is now a good thing in the way that "That's so sick" has become. (I do try.)

The reward system for moms at home also leaves something to be desired. In that there really isn't one, except for the playground high fives you exchange with a friend when your kid wasn't the one kicking someone else off the slide.

Compare this to the workplace, where most employees can expect to be treated with a modicum of respect, have performance reviews which don't include door slamming (to be fair, there aren't any doors in most cubicles), and best of all, they get to take on new responsibilities with the positive achievement of old ones. Being relieved at duties you've perfected is something moms at home never get to experience. Until the kids are the ones to leave home, that is.

This article was originally run in the Metro News

Kathy's new book "I Am So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family The Business" is available at bookstores everywhere. Follow Kathy on Twitter @KathyBuckworth

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3404418 2013-06-08T08:38:35-04:00 2013-06-08T08:38:41-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
When the kids are younger, and the friendship is new, you might invite the mom of your child's playmate over as well, or stick around her house, as you feel out the relationship and your comfort level with the child, and the family's life.

Sometimes you can find a new close friend yourself; the perfect arrangement. But what do you do if you discover you just don't click with her? As the kids get older, they start to ask why you don't want to be friends with Junior's Mom anymore, leading to some uncomfortable and not entirely truthful answers.

It could be a general lack of kinship, or it could be more than that, including being uncomfortable with sending your child to their house. Of course, you can always try to insist on having the friend to your house more often, but that becomes a burden as well.

So what to do? Try these tips before you reach the end of your relationship rope.

1) Don't say anything negative about the child, or their family, to your own child. It will be repeated back, and it can be extremely uncomfortable and hurtful for the kids, as well as for the adult involved. Bite your tongue and find excuses not to engage on a one to one level.

2) Keep conversation between yourself and her to a minimum - once kids are old enough to use the phone and make their own play dates, you just have to give your permission through them. Limit the at-the-door conversation and politely decline if there is an invitation to talk further. You don't have to force yourself to like each other.

3) Resist sharing with other friends of yours about the issue; gossip travels quickly and neighbourhood and school circles are small. If you're complaining on-line, be prepared to have it read or passed on by other moms as well. You might lose some friends who feel inclined to "take sides".

4) If you're truly not comfortable with the other child's home environment, don't allow your child to visit there without you. Keep the relationship at your house as much as you can, assuming you are okay about your child being friends with them, regardless of their family life.

5) If you're in an unavoidable situation where you have to interact with the other mom, try to enlist a mutual friend to come along too. This should help diffuse some of the tension and help to distract you from why you are so annoyed. Why are you so annoyed with them? It can be useful to logically think it through and determine whether you can overcome it for your child's sake. But if not, move on.

6) Don't be a martyr and have the entire family over just because your child is insisting on it. It's not worth it and could establish a precedent for future gatherings. Keep your relationship at a courteous and comfortable distance. Don't feel bad about declining invitations either. Most families are extremely busy and it can be easy to find 'excuses' for not finding the time.

"Life is too short and time too brief to spend time with people you don't like", says Jo-Anne Wallace, mom of two. "We've decided we need to like the whole package (i.e. kids and adults) in order to hang out." Now that's a secret worth sharing.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3321836 2013-05-23T13:43:37-04:00 2013-05-24T08:20:25-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
1) Plan ahead: Make a weekly meal plan so that making a shop list is a breeze. Have the kids get involved by picking some favourites. Get inspiration from recipes from your favourite cookbooks or online sites like pc.ca. Shopping with a list can help you stick to and the ingredients and foods you need and help prevent you from picking up items you don't need.

2) Write or print your shopping list out, and split it up for the kids to go on a mini-scavenger hunt in the store to find the ingredients: If they pick up the wrong item, show them the right one and teach them the difference (for example icing sugar versus regular granulated sugar, or other easy mistakes).

3) Stock up on the essentials: Foods such as pasta, canned vegetables and soups and rice all have a long shelf life. Buy these in multiples when they are on sale even if they aren't on your original list. A couple of dollars in savings on the essentials can add up over the course of a year.

4) Join a loyalty program that gives you rewards for food: Grocery loyalty programs such as PC Plus rewards you with points on the items you buy most often, helping you save money when you redeem the points at check-out. This rewards program is designed for a smartphone and also has tools such as meal plans and integrated shopping lists that allow you to add foods from Loblaws flyers, from recipes and from your personalized points offers.

5) Never shop on an empty stomach: Shopping when you're hungry can make items that you don't need look more tempting and buying on impulse can run up your bill.

6) Shop the outside perimeter of the store first:That's where the fresh fruit and vegetables, bakery, meat and dairy items can be found. The internal aisles tend to carry more processed and packaged foods which in general are more expensive and less healthy. Keeping the kids out of these aisles altogether reduces temptation to buy junk food.

7) Once you have all the food at home, make sure to store foods appropriately to avoid spoilage and use up fresh fruits and vegetables before frozen or canned.

8) Get the kids involved in making meals: If they have been involved in the process from the beginning they are less likely to turn up their noses and refuse to eat the meal, reducing the amount of food which is thrown away.

9) Keep uneaten food for leftovers to be reheated, sent for lunch, or reused in a new recipe.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3277481 2013-05-15T12:31:24-04:00 2013-05-15T12:31:31-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/ The Simpsons is when Bart complains he is having the worst day of his life. "So far," responds his unsympathetic yet correctly predictive father, Homer.

I liken that to a study by Today.com that suggests three is the most stressful number of children to have. A mom of three explains that the stress level increases when it comes to things like crossing the street, versus two kids. I would agree that getting three kids to do anything in tandem is harder than getting two kids to do it. But I have four kids, and to the best of my recollection, I don't recall sprouting an extra arm when that last child arrived. Similarly, my friends with five, six and more children have no more appendages which it make it less stressful, or easier for them to cross the street. Maybe for moms of three, three is the most stressful number of children for them to have...so far.

The study indicates mothers of more than three kids, on average, self-described themselves as at a lower stress level than their triumvirate sisters. It concludes that families with more than three children experience the "Duggar Effect", referencing the TLC reality family with 19 children. While I am 15 short of this number, admittedly older kids can, on occasion, help younger kids. But does that really offset the stress of knowing you have more children to feed, clothe, potty train, change sheets for, teach how to drive, suffer through first dates, explain birth control to and pay for their post-secondary education? According to MoneySense.ca, the average cost of raising a child in Canada is almost $244,000. Adding this expense for each child doesn't raise your stress level? Really?

I'm not saying that three kids aren't stressful for a lot of people. It can be. Just like it is very stressful for some parents of one child, two, four, five, etc. I call it the Pitter Patter Principle. (The original Peter Principle I'm referencing states that people are promoted to a level of incompetency.) Perhaps those who are lucky enough to actively choose the number of children they have, sometimes also reach beyond the level of what they would see as acceptable stress. They are not incompetent in this way, of course. They just learn when to stop.

So what comes first? The proverbial chicken or the fertilized egg? The stress of having kids or the stress level of the parents prior to having them? Since we can't give back the number of children we had past the third one to do a truly fair comparison, (I may have tried) I guess we'll never know.

This column was originally run in the Metro News.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3186067 2013-05-01T12:25:20-04:00 2013-05-01T12:25:27-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
According to a recent poll, 64% of families say "eating healthy" is the top priority in protecting their health. Yet 14% say they still have this on their "to do" list. Likewise "exercising regularly" is a top priority for 44%, but with a bigger 32% admitting this is something they would like to do, but have not yet done.

Rounding out the top three, 25% of Canadian families say taking vitamins and supplements is important, with 14% still waiting "to do" just that. This is a similar pattern as the top 12 list unfolds -- Canadians are well aware of the right things to do when it comes to our health, but moving them from a "doing" list seems to be tough.

Interestingly, there is a difference between men and women. While on an aggregated basis the top three priorities mentioned of eating healthy, exercising and taking vitamins, men place greater priority on exercise and limiting alcohol, whereas women focus more on eating healthy, taking vitamins or applying sunscreen.

The good news is that Canadians are aware that the number one way to take care of their health is focused on the food that they eat, and how they manage their body weight and fitness levels. Awareness can often lead to action.

But there are other ways we can prevent the onset of illness. When asked if their family's immunizations were up to date, 75% of Canadians said "Yes", 8% "No", with the remaining 17% admitting they "don't know." (For up-to-date vaccination schedules and information about vaccines, www.urimmunized.com is a great resource for families.) Those with children are more likely to place an emphasis on making sure vaccinations are up to date for the whole family.

The complete list from the research findings is below. What things do you need to move from the "to do" to the "doing" list in order to keep your family healthy?

Canadian's "Top Priorities" When it Comes to Health Protection
1. Eat healthy, (64%), 14% to do
2. Exercise regularly (44%), 32% to do
3. Take vitamins/supplements (25%) 14% to do
4. Lose weight (24%) 29% to do
5. Apply sunscreen (21%) 14% to do
6. Stay at home when sick (19%) 15% to do
7. Schedule regular visits with the doctor (18%) 18% to do
8. Ensure smoke/carbon monoxide detectors are working in my home (16%), 14% to do
9. Quit smoking (15%) 14% to do
10. Ensure immunizations are up to date (14%) 10% to do
11. Limit alcohol intake (11%) 11% to do
12. Purchase organic food (5%) 17% to do

*Findings based on a Leger Omnibus Survey Results -- April 2013, based on interviews with 1,502 Canadians]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3187700 2013-05-01T08:02:40-04:00 2013-05-01T08:02:42-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/ I Am So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family "The Business" compares life in the corporate lane to life in the car pool lane, and provides tips on how moms can use corporate structure and rules to rule the household.

But while many concepts are transferable between home and office, Mother's Day is an event that is really only celebrated at home, not in the workplace. I don't think it's a mistake that it always lands on a Sunday, where it can't take up precious billable hours between Monday and Friday. But what if we could re-write the calendar and have Mother's Day land on a workday? How would we be able to tell it's Mother's Day versus any other day in the office? I've been thinking about this.

You know how moms always tell their kids "every day is Kid's Day"? First of all, that's crap, or at least it should be, or they truly are the boss of you and you need to rethink a few things.

But it seems to me that Mother's Day is pretty much every day in the work world, and not in a good way. Hear me out.

At home, moms are privileged to receive the time honoured traditional offering of burnt toast and cold coffee from our own junior employees, which ostensibly is a "treat" and intended to save mom the trouble of doing this herself. Of course the dichotomy is that more often than not, this causes mom more work in the cleaning of the kitchen's aftermath, or maybe an extra half hour at the gym after breaking her 'no carbs' diet just to keep the smile on her proud child's face.

How might this manifest itself at work? It happens all the time. A badly written proposal can easily cause more work for the mom-manager as she works to get the employee to rewrite it in the way that will be acceptable. And how about a subordinate, who offers to attend a meeting on her behalf, but then makes inappropriate comments or, worse, commits the department to completing extra projects.

I'm not suggesting we tell our kids to stop making us a bad breakfast, or that we don't assign tasks to learning employees. In fact, it's the reverse. We need to keep doing this so that they can learn from their mistakes and one day graduate to making an entire unburned meal or being 100 per cent responsible for a professionally executed strategic plan. In this, we are still mothering them every day, all day. So let's take that second Sunday in May and celebrate Mother's Day the way it should be celebrated; with other moms, while we assign our employees to eat the toast themselves.

Kathy Buckworth's latest book "I Am So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family "The Business" is available at bookstores everywhere. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3060915 2013-04-11T10:14:29-04:00 2013-06-11T05:12:02-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
While I'm not sure about that -- productive, useful and obvious come to mind far before the word sexy does -- I do agree that we need to find ways to be more efficient at home to get some equal footing.

In fact, as I wrote about in my new book "I Am So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family The Business", I concur that applying a more structured approach to the home is one way to get some control into the "wild ride" of parenting. And part of that structure has to include an equalization of domestic duties. But ultimately I don't think that moms will have achieved equality with dads until we can save time like they do.

Only a dad can throw out kids' artwork without attempting to a) hide it under all the recycling first or b) photographing and scrapbooking parts of it first or c) feeling guilty about it for a week. Not so, us moms.

Dads can call a slopped together meal "Cowboy Casserole" and get the kids to eat it without them once questioning the origin or the pedigree of the ingredients. I usually have to prove to them why my cooking isn't bad.

And how about the amount of time we moms spend on making sure that we dress ourselves appropriately? Just consider how easy life would be at home if we didn't mind throwing on socks and sandals while proudly parading around in corporate logoed golf-shirts. Think of the accumulated minutes we could save just by not tucking in a shirt on the weekends.

But that's not all; until we can liberate ourselves from the brain space required to know the last time the seven year old had a shower, the ten year old went to the dentist, or the 14 year old cracked open a textbook, most moms will still be more worried about falling over (with exhaustion), than leaning in.

This article was originally run in the Metro News.

Kathy Buckworth's latest book, "I Am So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family The Business" is available at bookstores everywhere.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2931163 2013-03-22T12:31:16-04:00 2013-05-22T05:12:01-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
I have a theory about mission statements. I believe that they came to be as a result of countless CEOs asking countless versions of the same question: What am I trying to accomplish here? And how many times might you have muttered this as a mother? While literally or figuratively pounding your head against the wall? The mission statement is a shortcut to the answer -- a handy-dandy, quick-reference guide to what the company is all about. Or why you chose to throw birth-control caution to the wind. Once or twice. (Or four times. What was I thinking? Cue more head-pounding.)

As the boss of your family, you will likely find a mission statement handy, if for no other reason than to remind yourself of what you were thinking when you brought these people into the world. And why you shouldn't take them out. Corporately, a mission statement should address the employees, the shareholders, and the customers. Here's a quick primer on adapting those three categories to family life.

• Employees: Your employees are the members of your family. And we all know who the boss is, right?
• Shareholders: This refers to your own parents -- or any other relative or friend who has invested in you and wants you to be successful. No matter how old you are, your parents will always want to take responsibility for your successes and failures. If you are the parent of a young child and currently wondering when things get easier, it sucks to realize this.
• Customers: Who are we getting to buy from us? Our neighbours, friends, acquaintances? Everyone we interact with on a daily basis? How about the world at large?

At its most basic level, a mission statement should easily and clearly define who you are and what you do. Think of it as your family's elevator speech -- a thirty-second-or-less summary of what your business is. This might be the time you've got to introduce yourself at an indoor playground before the screaming starts.

Poke around on the Internet and do some research. Make a list of words that mean something to you, that perhaps reflect the attitudes or approaches you feel are important: commitment, knowledge, quality, weight loss, child control, or wherever your focus needs to be. String ideas together until you come up with a mission statement of your own. Mine? I worked with keywords such as know, admire, inspire, value, personal mastery, and focus. After a lot of thought, I boiled it down to this: "Do your best. People are watching."

Excerpted from Kathy Buckworth's "I Am So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family "The Business"McClelland & Stewart, 2013.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2867314 2013-03-13T11:31:36-04:00 2013-05-13T05:12:01-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
March Break. Just because the kids are on a so-called "break" doesn't mean you get to take a break from being a parent. (I've tried.) Personally I like calling it "March Break" instead of "Spring Break" mostly because it's more descriptive in terms of the timing of it (there's still snow outside my window), but also because it serves as a reminder that we can, as parents, at any point during this "week off", demand that our kids "march". To their room to clean it up, to the dinner table without complaining, to the shower when they start to smell, and to the front door to get outside and start shoveling away that 'spring' snow.

March Break doesn't mean breaking the rules or the routines -- in terms of bedtimes, meals and, let's face it, personal hygiene -- but it can be a great time to break out some new activities that don't normally fit into your schedule. If you have more than one child to organize during the week, have a discussion with all of them to find out what they'd like to do, beyond just "not go to school". But do your own research first. Look up a few free activities (start with community events) so you'll have some easy and cheap suggestions to make to them. Check out what (appropriate) movies will be playing, find out the hours and rates of pay-for activities such as the bowling alley or roller rink near you, and look into whether your local public swimming pool has special events or hours in place during the break.

Talk to other parents in advance of the week to see if they want to either join you and your kids for some of your activities, and also if they'd be interested in trading off some time so that you can both get done what needs to get done during the week. (Laundry and grocery shopping don't go on holidays! Trust me; I've also tried this.)

Often parents struggle with balancing school-age kids on March Break and having a baby or toddler at home as well. This makes it the perfect time to try out a teen babysitter during the day. Don't forget that high school kids are on break as well, and many of them would love to earn some money as well as a spot in your evening babysitter rotation.

If you're getting to know them for the first time, book them for a few hours to play with the big kids (take them for walks, to a park, even drop them at a museum or movie), or to watch the little ones while you get out with the school-age kids. If you're the parent of a high school student interested in babysitting, make some connections for them, or have them put up posters or drop off flyers.

Resist the temptation to let the kids stay up late at night as a treat, as it can be tough to get them back into regular bedtimes on the Sunday night before school starts up again, let alone having to deal with an overtired and under-eager student the next morning. You'll be ready for a break from the break by then, yourself.

Based on an article run in Metro News

Kathy Buckworth's books "Shut Up & Eat" and "Journey to the Darkside" are now available on audible.com Look for Kathy's latest, "I Am So The Boss Of You" (recently optioned by Warner Brothers Television) in bookstores everywhere March 26th.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2676895 2013-02-13T17:42:09-05:00 2013-04-15T05:12:01-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/ The Brady Bunch as a child, but after re-watching a certain episode I love it even more as a parent. It featured middle daughter Jan Brady (the family's perpetual loser) trying to discover if she had a natural born talent...for anything. Predictably, she failed at many different things (ballet, tap dancing, being a drum majorette, acting in the school play), much to her teen despair. Mom Carol Brady said to husband Mike, "Poor Jan. She's really miserable. I hate to see her going through this." To which he grunts unsympathetically "She'll have to figure it out."

I LOVED this. Today, do we ever let our kids "figure it out" for themselves? We constantly tell them they're good at everything, in a world where it's virtually impossible to fail a class, or having them participate in sports where no score is kept and no one ever loses.

On the show, it's Jan's sympathetic siblings who challenge and deliberately lose to her at a number of activities -- ping pong, Monopoly -- but of course she eventually discovers what they're doing, and becomes convinced she's an even bigger loser. Is this the risk we as parents take if we continue to prop our kids up with false praise, and an "everyone's a winner at everything" attitude? They quickly learn the truth about their talents when they leave the house for a post secondary education, or into the real working world, where discipline and criticism can be harsh. Preparing our children for disappointment and failure is one of the lessons we might want to have them learn at home, rather than from a disgruntled professor or angry manager.

American Idol is a great example of what can happen if you aren't honest with your children, and you send them out onto the stage, to fail. My kids are terrible singers. I am a terrible singer. Their father is a terrible singer. It's just who we are, and we all know it. They won't be one of those show contestants who are so painfully awful but are convinced they are the next Kelly Clarkson because their mom said so.

By all means, we should be encouraging our children for the things they are good at, and be their biggest cheerleaders, but let's make sure we're not cheering them on to great public failure. After all, not everyone can be a perfect drum majorette like their big sister Marcia.

The article was originally run in the Metro News.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2645472 2013-02-08T09:15:34-05:00 2013-04-10T05:12:01-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
Bermuda has two distinct precincts: Hamilton and St. George's. Hamilton offers up restaurants, high street shopping, and a wide selection of restaurants. The British influence is heavily felt throughout, including the micro Marks & Spencer store, a favorite for visitors and expats. The Fairmont Hamilton Princess is centrally located, and provides accommodation within three main lodge style buildings. The two pools and hot tubs are perfectly situated for an expansive view of the Atlantic Ocean and the island itself. Poolside at the Fairmont Princess in Hamilton Bermuda is a relaxing way to unwind after touring the shops of its quaint downtown.

A free ferry service is offered to residents of the Fairmont Princess, across to the Fairmont Southampton. Upon landing, the hotel's flagship restaurant, Ocean Club, has a menu that takes full advantage of the wide variety of seafood available, including the local specialty, rockfish. A trolley bus is at the ferry to meet passengers, who take a five-minute ride up the hill to the main building, and home to the acclaimed Willowstream spa, a favourite for pampered perfection.

After a spa treatment, guests are welcome to slide into the outdoor hot tubs or take a swim in the indoor pool. Wait staff are more than happy to serve up nibbles and the cocktail of your choice, while you lounge in the sun and take in the vista.

Visiting the island during the Bermuda Triangle Challenge Race (run every January) brings a physical fitness element to an escape. With the International Mile starting and finishing on the main street of Hamilton, through to the 10k run and walk the next day, and finishing up with a half-marathon to complete the triangle. Runners and walkers alike wind their way around the beautiful vistas and it isn't uncommon to see them stop to take pictures along the route.

On the other side of the island, the town of St George's offers up authentic island goods in a small and easily walkable shopping district. "Random Acts of Knitting" can be found on light poles and palm trees, which add to the vibrant colours of the town, already populated with brightly panted buildings. Lunch at local favourite Wahoo's provides for a great taste of the island with a daily menu, but most often features rockfish, done in inventive sauces and styles. Segway tours are available, and the town hall is open to the public, and has a remnant from the past present, in the gallows that are still standing in the town square.

WestJet flies to St. Lucia from Toronto three times a week. For information on Fairmonts in Bermuda visit www.fairmont.com/Bermuda

SIDEBAR:

It's not just about the women; Bermuda is a favourite of men as well, with its many golf courses and rum tastings.

Gosling's Rum has been around since 1806, and offers tours to see how its famous Black Seal rum is made, and of course, tasted. This is an essential ingredient in the island's signature drink, the "Dark and Stormy". www.goslingsrums.com for more information.

Turtle Hill Golf Club, conveniently located at the Fairmont Southampton, offers a challenging18 par three hole course set amongst the natural beauty and changing elevation of the island. Lessons are available for beginners, as well as bag storage and club rentals. For those wanting a longer game, visits to Port Royal, Riddell's Bay or Belmont Hills (all championship courses) can be organized by the hotel's Golf Concierge. www.fairmontgolf.com


This article originally ran in the Metro News.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2543074 2013-01-24T17:25:16-05:00 2013-03-26T05:12:01-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
For reasons I can't explain, PeeWee Herman and, in particular, his show, PeeWee's Playhouse, has always held great appeal for me. Fans of the show (back me up here!) know that if PeeWee had had a BlackBerry, he would have married it -- just like he did with the bowl of cereal. I now share this devotion. Not with cereal, people, but with my BlackBerry. It provides me with comfort, entertainment, advice, news alerts, laughs, and, most importantly, companionship. I am never alone when my square little black friend is with me.

Allow me to explain the push-me-pull-me addiction of BlackBerry love. "Push" as in always wanting to be sending someone, somewhere, an email about EXACTLY what I'm doing at that moment, and "pull" as in, I have to know immediately what's in that email that just vibrated into my world.

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The phenomenon is fairly easy to understand: Receiving an incoming email message on your BlackBerry is akin to having a note passed to you in class from the cutest boy in school. You have to look at it. You need to look at it. The need is especially strong when you are in a situation where you can't look at it (because to do so would either be rude or downright dangerous). It takes a huge amount of will power not to look at an incoming message, though you can always tell how many messages you have waiting for you by counting the number of buzzes. This is both intoxicating and annoying.

You can tell the depths of my devotion by the following typical attributes (which any true BB lover will have):

• The tell-tale thin red line on the right side of my stomach by my hip, caused by leaning over while wearing the holder and a too-short T-shirt or by making the amateur's mistake of putting the clip straight onto a waistband rather than a belt.
• The feeling of the "phantom" (or BraxBerry Hicks) vibrations, causing me to immediately look at a "no new email screen" and then feign reading in case others have witnessed my pathetic act.
• The stunned "hmmm?" response I offer when people are speaking to me and I'm simultaneously trying to read an email.
• The glazed look that automatically creeps across my face once the hummmm hummm of an incoming email is heard and the opportunity to read is denied due to circumstances beyond my control (toilet training a child, for example).
• A renewed interest in prayer -- prayer that once the sound of an incoming email is heard, the person you are speaking with will instantly be called away.

How did this happen? It's my own fault, really. After months of pestering my husband to "put the damn thing down and listen to me" (like putting an electronic device down is even possible for a male unless it's on fire, and never mind the "listening part"), I decided that if you can't beat them, join them. And from the minute that sleek black shiny square became a part of my life, I knew we would be inseparable. I have a love/love relationship with my BlackBerry. There. I've said it. Happy Valentine's Day!

Excerpted from "The BlackBerry Diaries: Adventures in Modern Motherhood", Kathy Buckworth, Key Porter Books, 2009]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2485762 2013-01-16T12:59:30-05:00 2013-03-18T05:12:01-04:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
1) Trophies for all: This one has been around for a while. We are raising our kids in a generation of "everybody wins and nobody loses" and what this does is make losers of us all. Without experiencing losing, kids don't know how thrilling it really is to bring home a coveted trophy or medal. They don't give out Participation Medals at the Olympics; let's stop giving our kids trophies for simply turning up. Think of the money, gold coloured plastic, and particleboard that could be saved.

2) Snacks at every event: From visiting the local park to half-time at a pre-school soccer game, apparently we've decided our children can not a) be hungry at any point or b) be expected to not have a snack every half an hour that c) parents must carry with them at all times. Recess snacks? Snack break at a playdate? End the madness, please.

3) Ramping up holiday time: Kids used to send Valentine's cards to only kids they actually liked. Strange concept compared to today when kids have to send in cards to everyone in the class, and half of them come with candies, stickers, or pencils attached. Then there's the mom who brings in (more!) snacks to the class on her child's birthday. Let's lower that bar (and cost, and calorie count) just a bit, OK?

4) Food Deception: This trend continues to be popular as parents everywhere hide kale, quinoa, broccoli and other healthy foods inside sauces, stews and other mixed dishes. Of course it's great to feed kids nutritious food, but they should also appreciate and learn about what they are eating so that they can make informed decisions once they leave home. One day they'll have decide what to pick for themselves or (gasp) make their own lunch.

5) Kid-Tatorship: In many households, the kid is running the show when it comes to what they eat, when they eat, when they go to bed, what activities they choose to do, and even where to go on vacation. It's not all about the kids, kids. Remember that parents are people too and make sure you're not sacrificing all of your wants for theirs.

Originally run in the Metro News.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2358276 2012-12-28T07:00:00-05:00 2013-02-27T05:12:02-05:00

Kathy Buckworth http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-buckworth/
Chocolate Infused Cuisine:
Cocoa is the 2nd largest crop in St. Lucia (bananas being #1), and with the establishment of Chocolate Heritage Month in November, St. Lucia is becoming known for producing extremely high quality chocolate. The Hotel Chocolat exemplifies the infiltration of chocolate, opening Boucan in March, 2011, as an extension of the extremely successful Hotel Chocolat UK brand, which began as an online chocolate service and which has grown to 66 stores in the UK alone. The hotel offers a "Tree to Bar" tour which has participants harvesting a bean, going through the fermenting, drying, and roasting process. Turning the chocolate nibs into paste and then liquid chocolate takes it full circle. The chocolate nibs from the cocoa pods are used in most of the menu offerings at their restaurant Boucan, including a chocolate grinder settled next to the salt and pepper.

Their spa, like many others, includes several chocolate treatments. The Treetop Spa at the Sugar Beach resort offers a chocolate mint massage treatment in one of their seven treetop treatment rooms, which should be followed by a decadent chocolate dessert in their beachside gourmet restaurant, Bayside.

Outdoor Adventure Activities:
St. Lucia's lush landscapes are beautifully maintained in their very natural forms, allowing for some unique hiking opportunities up the Gros Piton (ironically the Petit Piton is not often climbed, due to its steepness). Most hotels offer guided tours to the top.

The Caribbean Sea is a warm and crystal clear body of water, and most resorts offer sailing, windsurfing, kayaking and other water sports. For the more adventurous, take advantage of being in an actual rainforest and visit Rainforest Adventures for ziplining through an actual rainforest. Start at 1,400 feet and zip down to 600, through 3,442 acres of wildlife and foliage. Mongoose, boa constrictors, wild pigs and more are under your feet. Or, take a four hour guided hike through the jungle-like setting with a trained guide. The tram ride provides a more stable ride to the top of the climb, and back down again.

Customer Service:
Tourism accounts for a minimum of 40% of the population in St. Lucia, and is their #1 business. The cab drivers are well versed in the history and facts of the island, and the tour guides are knowledgeable and friendly. Visits to several high end resorts on the island revealed that their staff to customer ratio is high: former Jalouise Plantation, and now Sugar Beach resort has 78 rooms/villas, with just under 500 on staff, including 100 grounds people. The stunning cliffside Jade Mountain can handle approximately 60 guests (rumored to have included Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez), with staff which includes a personal butler assigned to each room, and Hotel Chocolat with eight villas and six lodges, has 150 staff serving. At Sugar Beach, one need merely wave the red drink flag to have service appear in seconds by the pool. At Cap Maison resort, the "Champagne Zipline" has proven to be an instant hit with dockside clientele being sent their afternoon drinks via this unique contraption.

Service and fine cuisine come together at Cap Maison, which offers the services of chefs to teach or prepare food in villas for guests, and can also send a chef with hotel customers to the infamous St. Lucia food market, to learn about and select fresh food to prepare.]]>