2013-05-23T05:58:34-04:00 Marci Warhaft-Nadler http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/author/index.php?author=marci-warhaftnadler Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Marci Warhaft-Nadler Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3268604 2013-05-14T11:07:14-04:00 2013-05-17T15:07:41-04:00

Marci Warhaft-Nadler http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marci-warhaftnadler/
Crystal Chan is a 14-year-old, international taekwondo competitor who has been training in her sport since the age of seven. She says that she started taking taekwondo classes because it looked like fun and because she wanted to learn self-defence, but she's gotten much more out of it than she'd expected. Along with making new friends and getting to compete with people from all over the world, Crystal says that she doesn't worry about her weight or how she looks the way most of her friends do.

"Most of the girls in my grade NEVER eat lunch because they're afraid of gaining weight. They're always talking about how fat they are and how they need to tone up for summer, but never want to do anything active because they don't want to sweat. It really upsets me when they talk like that because it's much more important to be strong, healthy and fit than to worry about your weight all the time."

"Six in 10 girls quit activities they love because of how they feel about their looks," according to new Dove research.

Last month, Dove launched its Girls Unstoppable campaign with the goal of preventing girls from giving up on the sports and activities that can help them build their confidence and self-esteem. The campaign also hopes to spark conversations between parents and their daughters on the subject of body image before it's too late. I absolutely love this campaign because I hear from parents all the time whose daughters are struggling to find their own identity in a society that's constantly telling them they don't measure up. With so much focus put on image and appearance, it's crucial that our daughters start believing that their bodies are capable of so much more than just being looked at. They need to stop worrying about how their bodies look and start taking pride in what they can do.

2012 Olympic Gold medalist, Rosie MacLennan, knows firsthand the amazing things that can happen with encouragement and support, which is why she was so eager to work with Dove on their campaign. Rosie is a Canadian trampoline gymnast and current reigning Olympic champion in the individual trampoline event. She wants girls to know that being part of the action is much more fun than sitting on the sidelines all the time. I spoke to Rosie last week and asked her a few questions about the connection between sports and body image.

Me: You started taking trampoline lessons at seven years old, what made you stick with it?

Rosie: Being involved in a sport I loved, gave me a place to find my voice. I had friends in school, but making other friends who were as passionate about the same things I was, gave me another place where I could feel comfortable and supported.

Me: We live in such an image obsessed society; have you ever felt self-conscious about your body when competing?

Rosie: I have felt pressure at times. As a gymnast, the uniforms don't leave very much to the imagination and it's not uncommon to be compared to girls with smaller body types. What helped me was having a coach who put performance before aesthetics. I learned that in order to perform at my best, I needed to do things that would help me get there, which included feeding my body what it needed instead of restricting my food to change my physique. I don't compare myself to anybody else, because we're all built differently. I have muscular legs and a bubble butt, and these attributes give me the power I need to jump high and perform my best. I celebrate my body. We all should.

Me: How did your mother keep you interested in sports as you got older?

Rosie: My mom would always point out female athletes, so I grew up admiring women like Silken Laumann and Clara Hughes for what they accomplished in sports and in life. She also made a point of regularly checking in with me to see how I was feeling. I knew if I felt stressed, I could share those feelings openly.

Me: Have you seen girls drop out of sports because of body image issues?

Rosie: Sadly, yes. Some girls let the criticism get to them. It can be hard, but I understood that if I was worrying about how I looked in my gym suit, I was not focusing on what I needed to focus on, which was my performance.

Me: What's the number one message you'd like to share?

Rosie: Find something you love and are passionate about. You'll face challenges, but stick with it. Hold on to whatever your goals are and give yourself the chance to live your dreams.

What it comes to, is that being a kid shouldn't be this stressful. Young girls need to start appreciating everything that they are, and stop judging who they think they're not. Life is not a spectator sport, it's time to get in the game and start playing!

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3197222 2013-05-02T12:22:28-04:00 2013-05-02T12:22:38-04:00

Marci Warhaft-Nadler http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marci-warhaftnadler/
But that changed.

The truth is that they always knew their mom was a bit "different," they just didn't know why. I may have convinced myself that they were oblivious to my disorder, but how could that be true when we'd be walking out the door to go for dinner and one of them would ask, "Are you eating today, Mommy, or just watching?" or they'd shout, "Look, Mommy's a dinosaur!" because the bones of my spine would poke out so sharply from under my skin.

They knew something was wrong, they just didn't know what it was.

After I found recovery, created my Fit vs. Fiction body image workshops and started speaking out and writing about body image and eating disorder issues, I knew that I had to come clean to my kids. I couldn't be sharing my truth at schools with children I didn't know while not explaining the situation to my own children first. I could have kept it brief, or cleaned it up a bit. I could have made it a bit less scary or gross, but I chose not to, and here's why.

Eating disorders are evil, nasty and cruel. The damage they cause is not just physically devastating, but also breaks us down emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. They are also incredibly difficult to recover from.

It seems like more and more celebrities have been opening up their own eating disorder issues recently. Lady Gaga spoke out about her battles with bulimia and actresses Lucy Hale and Demi Lovato shared their struggles as well. I think it's really important when celebrities come clean about their body image issues because their fans need to see that even the perfect people aren't so perfect. I know that there are kids who felt inspired by Demi's revelation and I wouldn't be surprised if hearing about her problems encouraged other kids to seek help for their own.

But here's why, for my kids, that isn't enough. While we're listening to the adversity that these women overcame and while we're hearing about how bad things may have gotten for them, they still seem pretty fabulous. As difficult and painful as things may have been for them at times, right now, in the eyes of their fans, their lives seem more than OK. They've got fame, they've got fortune and they've got beauty. It's crucial for young people to understand that there is NOTHING glamorous about eating disorders.

The reason why my kids won't be pulled into my body image nightmare is because they've seen the reality of it first hand, they just didn't understand it until now.

They remember seeing me lying on the couch, unable to make it up the stairs to tuck them in at night. Now they know it's because I had spent the day binging and felt too sick to move.

They've seen me crawl up the stairs instead of walk like everybody else and now know I'd gone days without eating and was too weak to stand.

They remember trying to figure out what happened to all their Halloween candy when they knew they should still have bags of it left, only to find empty wrappers in my bedroom. Mystery solved.

They remember wondering why we didn't join the rest of the family on family vacations and why I'd cry when the word bathing suit came up. They think It's silly, but now they know why.

They also know about the times, while they slept, when I walked for hours to the gym in the middle of the night after not sleeping for days because my fear of gaining weight was more intense than my fear of dying.

I don't try to hide what I did or how my disorder made me feel. I want them to understand why I am so determined to change the way kids treat and feel about themselves these days. I want them to appreciate the value of who a person is over what they look like and that going through horrible things does not make us horrible people.

My eating disorder was disgusting. I am not a disgusting person for having battled it.

I believe that our kids can learn as much from our troubles as our triumphs. My kids know that I'm not perfect. They know that I've fallen several times. But they've also seen me pick myself back up each and every time.

I won't hide the dirty, ugly truth from my kids because I want them to know that life can be tough. But they can be tougher.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3106277 2013-04-18T12:21:14-04:00 2013-04-18T12:13:02-04:00

Marci Warhaft-Nadler http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marci-warhaftnadler/
Earlier today, I was picking my kids up from school when I saw a woman pushing a baby carriage. At first I assumed that the woman was the child's mother, but when I took a closer look, I could see through her shirt that her stomach was not completely flat and that her arms and legs weren't covered in chiselled muscle.

The baby looked at least six weeks old, which we know from reading People magazine and watching Entertainment Tonight, is more than enough time to pop our babies out and suck our bodies back in. I assumed that this woman could not have been the baby's mother because that's not what post-pregnancy bodies look like! While she didn't look like a new mom, she seemed to act like one. She was singing to the baby and pointing out the things they passed in the street, and seemed to be enjoying herself.

I just don't get it.

If she was, in fact the mother of this new human being, what has she been doing for the last few weeks? Is she choosing to spend more time with her newborn than her personal trainer? Is she resting her body while her baby naps instead of shredding it to a Jillian Michaels DVD? One also has to wonder what she's been eating! I'd be willing to bet that she's allowing herself to nourish her body with foods from ALL of the food groups and is actually eating until she's satisfied instead of following the weight loss diets of new moms like Tori Spelling who recently lost 45lbs and is proudly showing off her rockin' body on this month's cover of US magazine. Tori is gracious enough to share her diet tips with us, which I'm sure all pregnant women can relate to because, let's face it, who can't relate to Tori Spelling? She's just like us!

Hollywood Life reports "For breakfast she starts the day with a brown rice cake and Smart Balance chunky peanut butter. At lunch, she loves having soup and her favourite lunch is vegetable puree. For dinner, she tends to eat fish or steak with vegetables."

Wow, I'm full just from reading about all that food!

What is it about some celebrity moms that gives them the willpower that the rest of us lack to put their bodies before their babies? What is wrong with the rest of us who are incapable of putting ourselves through gruelling workouts and on overly restrictive diets almost immediately after childbirth? We should be ashamed of ourselves!

OR...

Maybe, just maybe, we need to give ourselves a break. I completely understand the pressure famous moms are under to retain their "Hot chick" status during and immediately following their pregnancies, but how great would it be if they didn't cave into that pressure? If we truly want to support each other as women, we need to start glorifying the beauty of our honest to goodness pregnant and post-pregnant bellies instead of demonizing every stretch mark or area of sagging skin. Pregnancy isn't a crime, so why the need to hide all of the evidence?

Were you able to completely enjoy your pregnancies, or did you spend part of it worrying about losing weight afterwards?

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Marci Warhaft-Nadler http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marci-warhaftnadler/
Unfortunately, the hits keep on coming. This morning I read that Donald Trump had decided to voice his opinions on Kim's pregnancy fashion choices, saying that he didn't think she should be wearing tight clothes because they were not appropriate for women over 120lbs. First of all, let me just say that it's so nice to see Donald speaking out this way since he's usually so shy about sharing his opinions and is always so very careful not to speak with authority on issues he knows nothing about.

Oh, if only that were true.

While I may not be the hugest Kim Kardashian fan and have yet to figure out exactly WHY she is famous and I realize that with her very public lifestyle and reality show, she invites the world into her life (the good, the bad, and the stuff nobody really needs to see), but I still find it despicable that people choose to insult her body when it's in the process of doing something pretty spectacular.

She is growing a HUMAN BEING in her body. A HUMAN BEING!

Hey Donald, you may have earned another million dollars today, but Kim did that AND created a nervous system. Beat that, big guy!

I honestly believe that we have forgotten the miracle that childbirth is. Show me a woman who has tried unsuccessfully to conceive, and I'll show you a woman who would joyfully trade her flat stomach and narrow hips for the stretch marks, expanded rear end and growing belly that can accompany a pregnant body.

Pregnancy is an experience that affects a woman's body, mind and soul from the minute she decides to conceive. Most women, famous or not, feel tremendous pressure to live up to the bizarre and completely unrealistic ideals of our image and skinny obsessed society and it's keeping us from living our lives as fully and completely as we should be. No matter how happy or successful we may think we are in our personal and professional lives, if we're not wearing the "right" pant size, we're supposed to feel like total failures.

For so many years, there were people who said that women didn't belong in the work place and needed to be at home making babies, but now even making babies isn't good enough if we can't do it without keeping our girlish figures in the process!

I find it really hard to believe that there is nothing more important going on in the world than how fat Kim's ass looks in her designer maternity wear. What I'm asking is this: is it really an issue that Kim is comfortable showing off her growing, changing body or is the real issue that we're uncomfortable looking it?

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2935721 2013-03-24T18:01:20-04:00 2013-03-24T22:07:48-04:00

Marci Warhaft-Nadler http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marci-warhaftnadler/
One of the girls shared that her father will eat the french fries off her plate while explaining that he's trying to save her from getting fat. The other one said that whenever she reaches for anything to eat, her mom looks at her disapprovingly, shakes her head and says things like, "Should you really be eating that?" or "Don't you think you've had enough? You don't want to gain weight,do you?" It was explained to me that one of these moms is struggling with her own weight and is quite obese, while the other one has just lost a significant amount of weight and has become determined to make everyone follow in her footsteps, whether they need to or not.

The positive thing about this situation is that the girls understand that their parents are being overly critical and even irrational, and they are feeling angry towards them instead of personalizing it and letting the comments affect their own self-esteem. The negative part is that one of them has already started to rebel against the criticism with food. Instead of avoiding food to please her parents, she's started eating more of it to prove a point. The quickest way to get a teenager to do exactly what you don't want them to do, is to try and take complete control over it. Without realizing it, every time her mother tries to steer her away from certain foods, it just makes them that much more enticing. Every bite is a "screw you, mom!"

There are so many parents who believe that they're helping their kids by constantly offering diet and weight-loss advice when they may actually be setting them up for lifelong battles with food and negative self-esteem. I hear from so many women who are still wrestling with these issues years after they've grown up and moved away from their parents' critical words.

Thirty-five-year-old Jean, shares: I can vividly remember being at a family gathering when I was about 8 years old. The table was filled with food, and I went to take something to eat. My aunt pointed at me and said to my mom, "Look at her, she's eating AGAIN!" My mom felt the need to react, so she walked over to me, slapped my face and told me to stop eating." The sad part is, I don't even remember eating very much that day.

Forty-three-year-old Susan: I grew up with a mother that was overly concerned with weight -- her own and everyone else's. I feel that it was her constant negative comments that encouraged my issues. When I was a kid, I was always active and always playing sports, nevertheless, my parents nicknamed me Pillsbury Dough Girl. As I got older, the comments didn't stop. When I was pregnant with my first baby, my mother told me that maybe I'd get lucky and the baby would suck the fat out of me.

As parents, it may seem like our kids spend most of their time ignoring our advice and direction, but the truth is that our words yield a tremendous amount of power and need to be chosen carefully. If we are constantly commenting on their bodies (or our own) they will mistakenly grow up believing that our love is conditional and based more on how they look than who they are. It's our job to teach them how to tune out the negative messages they're bound to hear from our diet obsessed society and be a voice of balance and reason. By sharing our body image insecurities and food anxieties with our kids, we are almost guaranteeing that they will continue the unhealthy cycle of negative self-esteem.

6 super quick tips:

1. Stop the fat talk. No more counting calories or fat grams. Pick foods for their healthy ingredients and listen to your body's hunger and satiety signals.

2. Understand that kids are growing and have the appetites to match. Keep nutritious foods around the house, washed and ready to grab and eat.

3. Food should be enjoyed and not feared.

4. Get active with your kids. Being active feels good and when we feel good, we tend to treat ourselves better and that includes what foods we decide to eat.

5. If we want our kids to love and respect themselves, we need to love and respect ourselves first so they can see how it's done.

6. Play more, stress less.

RELATED ON HUFFPOST WOMEN:

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2910237 2013-03-20T12:54:08-04:00 2013-05-20T05:12:02-04:00

Marci Warhaft-Nadler http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marci-warhaftnadler/ CBC News Toronto just posted an article stating that less than 50 per cent of elementary school students are getting daily exercise. While I'm not at all shocked by their report, I do find it incredibly frustrating. Not only has this been a problem for quite sometime now, it doesn't seem like there are very many plans in the works to change it.

If kids today aren't as healthy as they used to be and if, as so many TV commercials are telling us, they aren't getting nearly enough exercise and are at risk for a plethora of health concerns down the road, can't our schools help us out? Since not all families can affored extra curricular activities or may have a problem with transportation, shouldn't we be working together on this?

Our kids are in school most of the day and need a chance to move around, get their hearts pumping and blood flowing. It's been proven that just 20 minutes of sustained, vigorous exercise helps kids learn better, which is why Ontario introduced the "Healthy Schools Initiative" in 2005 which ensured that kids got up and moved for 20 minutes everyday.

Sadly, this program has pretty much been abandoned. I don't blame the teachers. Most of them would love to give their students a chance to re-energize during the day but feel that their schedules just don't leave them ample time to do it.

What's worse is how often gym is the first class to be cancelled when there's an issue with over scheduling and all of a sudden the scheduled two gym classes a week get cut to only ONE. Now factor in those days when it's too rainy or snowy for outdoor recess and the kids are kept inside all day. The situation is a grim one.

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The government is so quick to attack food as the problem but maybe that's because taking food out is easier than putting exercise in.

The truth is that as a parent, I'm less concerned with the food that's available at my children's school than I am with the physical activity that is NOT.

Recently, I was talking with some university students about the challenges they face when it comes to staying healthy at school and an issue that came up a lot was TIME. They don't feel that they have enough time to fit exercise into their schedules. I believe a big part of that is because from the minute they start school our school systems tell them that it's just not that important.

In many elementary schools, kids are supposed to have Phys Ed classes between one and three times a week (not enough in my books) and yet, I can't tell you how many times my kids have come home from school complaining that gym class was cancelled because they had an assembly or a presentation instead. Sometimes it's taken away as a punishment because the class was being too noisy or because they didn't finished their math lessons. It seems like gym class is the first one to be cancelled when teachers need to make room for something else and I'm just not OK with that. While it's become alright to cancel a gym class in order to get more work done in a different subject, you'd never hear a teacher say, "Well class, since we didn't finish our volleyball game, we'll have to miss math."

By the time most kids hit Secondary School, phys ed class becomes an option and once again the message this sends is that in order to succeed you must work hard at academics and if that leaves no room for physical activity, so be it. It's no wonder that by the time these kids get to University, they're feeling incredibly pressured to perform well academically and feel that making room for exercise is a luxury they can't afford.

A study out of Queen's University revealed that 51 per cent of female students between 18-25 years old reported binge eating due to stress and pressure to succeed academically and stress is also known to increase the risk of heart disease. Interestingly enough, exercise has been proven to be a great stress reducer!

If our school boards think they are doing our kids a favour by keeping them tied to their chairs and computers, they are sadly mistaken.

All the professional and financial success in the world means nothing if you don't live long enough to enjoy it.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2863398 2013-03-13T08:16:20-04:00 2013-05-13T05:12:01-04:00

Marci Warhaft-Nadler http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marci-warhaftnadler/
While it's become nearly impossible to turn on a TV or read a newspaper without hearing about the obesity epidemic and it seems like there are anti-obesity campaigns popping up everywhere, I believe we are focusing our energy on the wrong problem.

Is obesity a serious issue? Yes. But obesity is just one symptom of the real issue which is unhealthy living. By focusing solely on obesity, we are turning a "lifestyle" issue into a "fat" one and are completely missing out on giving people the information they need to be truly healthy.

The dangerous part about this is that instead of encouraging people to get healthy we are demanding that they get skinny and the truth is, skinny is not always synonymous with healthy.

Our "war on obesity" is creating a generation of kids who are terrified of being overweight and because of our society's obsession with thinness, they don't even know what being overweight truly looks like! Watching TV or reading magazines and being inundated with unrealistic images of unattainable physiques can have most kids feeling inadequate within minutes. When the media is telling them that they need to be skinny to be beautiful and anti-obesity campaigns are telling them they need to be skinny to be healthy, the only message they're hearing is: YOU NEED TO BE SKINNY!

Here's a shocker: You can't always tell how fit or unfit a person is simply by what they look like. Being a little overweight and active is healthier than skinny and sedentary. Weight is not the ONLY factor in a person's overall health.

Dangers:

1.Thin kids become apathetic
There are kids who can eat as much junk food as they want and do very little physical activity without gaining any weight. Healthy? Nope. However, if they're constantly being told that obesity is the issue, they won't see the risks related to their present lifestyles.

2. Skinny at all cost
How about the kids who are so afraid of gaining weight that they become overly concerned with everything they eat? I get e-mails from parents of kids as young as five-years-old who are already struggling with eating disorders! While it wouldn't be surprising to hear our toddlers worry about imaginary monsters, hearing them cry because they feel they look fat in their snowsuits is something most parents are not prepared for. Young kids are putting their health at risk through dangerous behaviour to lose weight and a huge part of that is because of our society's fat phobia!

Recently, many schools have started implementing their own anti-obesity programs.

Unfortunately, in an effort to solve one problem, they are inadvertently creating a bigger one by encouraging disordered eating and negative body image. While numbers and charts may offer some insight into a person's health status, they can be drastically misleading if other important factors are ignored.

Take for example, the recent story about the 10-year-old Massachusetts boy who was sent home from school with a letter saying he was obese. This boy's athletic (healthy) build was considered obese by the BMI rating his school was using to measure their students body weight. Personally, I'm against any kind of program that has school faculty measuring a child's weight and the fact that they'd use such an inaccurate system to do it, makes it all the more frustrating.

Schools need to educate, not humiliate.

3.It's become okay to point fingers at the chubby kid.

You'd think that with all the talk about bullying going on these days, we'd be able to recognize when we're doing it ourselves, but here's another example of good intentions lost on bad execution. By singling out the "overweight" kids we're making them easier targets to be picked on. Some might argue that if they're overweight, they're probably already being picked on, but the difference is that they've now got school staff agreeing with the bullies. This kind of negativity will only make them feel less worthy of respect from others and themselves. HOW does that help??

We all want our kids to grow up as healthy as possible, but we have to be very careful about how we go about doing that.

Eating with balance and moderation and being physically active shouldn't be something we feel forced to do because we hate our bodies, but something we want to do because we love and respect them. We can't lose weight in order to like ourselves, we have to first like ourselves in order to lose weight.

Fat isn't a bad word. It's a nutrient necessary for good health. Why have we turned it into an insult? Teaching kids that fat is "bad", can be a dangerous lesson. However, educating them about the benefits and risks related to different kinds of fats can be extremely helpful without being judgmental.

A truly healthy child is one that is healthy physically, emotionally and psychologically. By focusing simply on the physical, we risk damaging everything else.

The question I'm asking is: Do we want healthy kids or just skinny ones?

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2861181 2013-03-12T17:00:59-04:00 2013-05-12T05:12:01-04:00

Marci Warhaft-Nadler http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marci-warhaftnadler/ the ruling has been been made and our right to drink super sized, sugar loaded beverages remains intact.

I'll be honest with you and say that I'm feeling somewhat conflicted by the decision. I know that the main argument against the ban came from people who just don't want the government telling them what to do. Nobody likes to be told what they can and cannot eat or drink and people tend to get a little annoyed when they feel like they're being treated like children, or fools, or foolish children. That said, who the hell needs to be drinking soda from a cup big enough to swim in, anyway? If you're still thirsty after drinking enough liquid to bathe in, you've got some bigger issues that need to be addressed. I have no problem with Mayor Bloomberg wanting to limit the size of sugary drinks being sold, However, I do have a problem with the fact that, once again, he is completely missing the mark when it comes to taking action in the name of health.

An article by The Canadian Press states, "The rule prohibits selling non-diet soda and some other sugary beverages in containers bigger than 16 ounces."

Non-diet soda.

Aye, there's the rub.

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Why is drinking copious amounts of sugar-laden drinks unhealthy but consuming the same amount of chemical filled crap just fine? WHY are we protecting people from the evils of sugar while promoting, accepting and even encouraging the consumption of diet drinks which are filled with chemicals that come with risks related to health issues like depression, severe migraines, inflammatory bowel disease and cancer?

Oh wait a minute, I know why, because they have less calories! Calories are bad because they make us fat and fat is bad because it can lead to health issues. Can you see my concern here? Why is that certain health risks are acceptable as long as they don't affect our size? Why are we, once again, putting our weight ahead of our health?

Here's the really crazy part, some research has suggested that artificial sweeteners can lead to, say it ain't so, obesity!

I have no problem with the government wanting to help us get healthier, but I do have an issue with it just wanting to make us skinnier.

I work with kids as young as seven and eight years old who have already started counting calories in fear of getting fat and that's just not OK! If we want to raise healthy children we need to teach them that eating well makes them feel good, instead of promoting the dangerous message that eating less makes them look skinny and skinny is what they need to be.

Time to stop trying to lose weight and start focusing on gaining health.]]>