Natasha Koifman2013-05-26T02:56:30-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.ca/author/index.php?author=natasha-koifmanCopyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc.HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Natasha KoifmanGood old fashioned elbow grease.Fashion Should Be for Everybodytag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.33280392013-05-23T17:35:22-04:002013-05-23T17:35:31-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
But this isn't only about industry versus individuals. After all, the fashion industry is made up of many individuals. And it is supported by us; we covet and shop for clothes, we buy the magazines, we dissect the bodies of other women. And many of us -- myself included -- wallow in the no-holds-barred fantasies concocted in those Annie Leibovitz / Grace Coddington Vogue spreads.
So, we want conflicting things from fashion. We want it to be "real," relatable, directly inspiring. At the same time, we want to aspire, to fantasize and be transported away from real life; we don't necessarily want to be reminded about limitations (size, price) all the time!
This is all to say that none of it is simple.
Boundaries are breaking down all around us. And this new wave of feminism we're experiencing has impacted many of the boundaries in the world of fashion too; the idea that there are standards of beauty that we must conform to, that being beautiful is a feeling that should be available to only a few privileged few, rather than something every woman should feel, from both inside and out.
When the ground shifts like this, it can cause tensions. People examine more closely the messages around them, question the authenticity of editorials, brands and messages in general. Recently, I've noticed different brands trying to express themselves in very different ways to their customers. As a PR professional, I am of course interested in their approaches. But more, as a woman, I'm interested in how it all makes me feel!
(1) Abercrombie + Fitch CEO talks about size
The most extreme headline-making example was the declaration by Abercrombie CEO Mike Jeffries that:
"We go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive, all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don't belong [in our clothes], and they can't belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely."
His statement has been dissected and critiqued up on many media sites. You can read about it here, I also recently spoke about this on a recent Newstalk 1010 segment.
For me, the issue here isn't simply size. After all, many stores of all kinds concentrate on different sizes: there are plus-sized stores and petite-stores, "big and tall" stores. We all shop knowing the stores that stock our sizes, and that also cut their clothes in a way that flatters our shape.
The issue is that Mr. Jeffries deems those who do not fit within his store's target demo as "unattractive." Frankly, his idea of beauty is what you would expect from a high school "mean girl." But he's not some kid. He's a CEO of a major fashion retailer and, therefore, he's in a position to impact the feelings of many women, to make them feel entirely alienated and abandoned. What's worse, his attitude implies that people who don't conform to his standard of beauty simply don't deserve the same fashion choices.
(2) Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty
Contrast Mr. Jeffries with Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty. This campaign tries to send the message to women of all shapes and sizes that they are beautiful -- and yet it too has received criticism. The best -- and most balanced -- response I've read to this campaign was over on The New Inquiry and I urge you to take a moment to read it.
Even though Dove's message is a lot more positive here, the campaign is still one that exploits our bodily insecurities to sell us a product (i.e. soap). Once again, we witness a narrow definition of beauty (superficial, looks-based) as the basis for self-esteem and worth. Of course, the ad cleverly shows the women involved that they are much more beautiful than they themselves perceive.
But instead of highlighting insecurity, should we not highlight that with the everyday examples of pride and confidence? Like, women dancing like nobody's looking, women smiling at their own reflection in the mirror (yes, it sometimes happens!), women strutting the street in a new outfit (yes, we sometimes strut!). Because negative as we sometimes feel, don't we also have moments when we fully occupy and accept our own bodies!?
Addition Elle's most recent campaign seems to capture that very exuberant joy; the model poses confidently in her sexy lingerie, the "Showstopper" soundtrack is energizing and uplifting (so much so I downloaded it for my playlist!) It doesn't try to say "you're beautiful" by playing on issues and insecurities. It just does it by simply showing a beautiful woman, wearing clothes that fit, feeling confident -- just like that.
(3) H&M's swimsuit campaign with Jennie Runk
This brings me to H&M's swimsuit campaign. This campaign was a surprise: first, because I never really thought of H&M as a brand that would lead with a strong body-image stance, but also because the execution was distinctly NOT statement making. It was this simple: H&M rolled out a swimsuit campaign and the model (Jennie Runk) was not a size zero or two. There was no message or mandate, no "look at what we did." Instead they said:
"At H&M we try to show a mix of models in all our seasonal campaigns. Our aim is not to convey any particular message or ideal, rather to find a model who wears the collection in an inspiring way. This online campaign shows our H&M+ summer collection."
Perhaps the biggest statement is to make no statement at all. Instead, just to show women enjoying their body and clothes, inspiring us to look beautiful, to find joy in dressing our bodies. By omitting any message, H&M also made this catalogue entirely inclusive. These swimsuits are not just for women shaped like the model. They are for all their customers.
When we talk about fashion embracing more diversity and becoming more inclusive, we run the risk of shifting the paradigm and simply alienating a new demographic. Talk of "real, curvy women" or "normal-sized" can alienate women who do not have curves (many don't!) or who are naturally thin (many are!). The point shouldn't be to embrace a new idea of normal, but to recognize that ALL different shapes and sizes are normal and beautiful. Once we realize that, perhaps we'll also begin to see beauty that radiates from within.
xo Natasha
]]>The Only Way to Find Love: Ditch the Rulestag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.32814212013-05-16T08:24:06-04:002013-05-16T08:24:13-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
For every set of rules we try to establish, there's always a relationship that disproves the hypothesis. We think love thrives on shared interests, but find so many great examples of relationships where complete opposites attract. Or we think a similar background, culture or set of family values is important -- only to find many examples of love crossing all boundaries.
I tend to think there are no rules guaranteeing success in matters of the heart. We're all such complex individuals, governed by many (sometimes conflicting) needs and wants, that it's nearly impossible to come up with a formula for romantic success. This makes dating hard in general, but it especially makes me skeptical about online dating. That's not to say it's impossible to find love online (you can find love anywhere!), but I don't think that's because of the right algorithm or formula...
I really believe that finding love is about opening your heart and mind, meeting people and throwing away the rule book:
(1) On sharing the same interests
It's easy to bond quickly over shared interests. For instance, you like doing the same things in your downtime, you enjoy eating the same food or you both love design... etc.. . But is this what really makes for a successful relationship? Sure, it can, but not necessarily.
For me, the key isn't that a partner share my interests as that he respects and cares about my interests and passions and wants me to pursue those things. If your partner loves a particular hobby or sport, it's often more important that you support them in that endeavour than that you join in. Sure, you should also have some interests and hobbies that you share (movies you enjoy watching together, places you both want to travel), but so much of what intrigues and sustains us is what we also do by ourselves, as individuals. You don't need to share it all!
(2) On sharing the same aspirations
Online dating sites in particular tend to put a lot of emphasis on compatibility based on career, status and income. It makes sense why; after all these are quantifiable things and online dating sites use equations, not emotion.They're not entirely wrong either, these things can be important to some people as a measure of compatibility.
However, I think there's another perspective on these same values: Instead of income and status, look for a match in terms of character, work ethic and life goals. Think also about the things you can achieve together as a couple, not just what you've achieved thus far. You may find that integrity is more important to you than material success. That work ethic and drive is more important than status. That likeminded life goals are more important than being in the same salary bracket.
(3) On being swept off your feet
Romance and chemistry are not the same as love. Romance is a way of expressing love, just as laughter is a way of expressing joy. But that doesn't mean that if you're not laughing, you're not happy. Movies and literature glorify the romance and passion because they're easy to display on screens and pages. But those same movies and books also at times create a false ideal about what love should look like - that it should be all passion and fireworks and grand gestures.
Now, I'm not saying that romance and passion don't play an important role (I am, after all, a complete romantic!) Indeed, the absence of these manifestations of love would be as concerning as the absence of laughter in a person who claimed to be happy. But as a culture, we tend to be obsessed with the "display" rather than with the underlying feelings. True love isn't really (or only) about gifts and grand gestures. It's also about support and kindness, sharing and respect. After that early burst of passion, these are the deeper feelings that hold a relationship together.
(4) On finding a soulmate
The idea that another person can complete you is one that dates back to ancient Greek philosophy. Plato presented the idea that we are lost souls literally wandering the Earth looking for our other half, our soulmate. It's a beautiful and romantic idea, but the truth is that it's likely there isn't just ONE person for each of us. And no person, no matter how loving and strong a partner they are, is going to complete you.
You are your own whole. Instead of thinking of a partner as your other half, think of them as another circle intersecting with yours, like a Venn diagram. You share a lot, you overlap and support each other. But you cannot complete or "fix" each other. The more you work on your own individual selves, the stronger your relationship will be and the more intertwined your circles will be. Don't rely on another for your sense of fulfillment, that's something every person should seek and create for themselves.
(5) On happily ever after
Most of us girls grow up on a staple diet of fairytales with Prince Charmings and happily ever afters. As the rhyme goes "first comes love, then comes marriage and then comes a baby in a baby carriage". With such early indoctrination, it's no surprise that we sometimes have a hard time processing the reality of love and romance.
My own life is a testament to the fact that things rarely run such a smooth and predictable course. The fact is, there isn't just one route to love and sometimes you get lucky a second time. Sometimes, people find love much later in life. Others find that the conventional relationships of those fairytale fantasies aren't what they yearn for at all.
The key is to be an AGENT in your own life. Allow yourself to make mistakes, to take risks, to try something different... Trust that the universe is guiding you along YOUR path, even if it doesn't always look like a fairytale. As long as you follow your heart and you are your most authentic self in that moment, I believe you'll find love and happiness. Above all, never stop believing -- as much as the rules and the fairytales should be taken with a grain of salt... love itself is very real!
]]>Tips for Wearing Vintage Clothingtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.32302342013-05-08T07:53:10-04:002013-05-08T07:53:17-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
It's remarkable to see the impact this one movie has had on designers in recent seasons -- it started even when the movie was just announced. Chanel Haute Couture, Oscar de la Renta, Miu Miu and Alexander McQueen are just some of the designers inspired by this era. Flapper-style dresses, dropped hemlines and luxe deco-inspired jewels started to make a big impact on runways that trickled all the way down to stores.
Now, with the release of the movie, Tiffany & Co. unveiled a new collection of jewels inspired by the latest adaptation...including the ring-to-wrist pearl and diamond stunner worn by Carrie Mulligan on the current Vogue cover.
But Gatsby isn't the only show on our screens making us nostalgic for the style of times past. Downton Abbey, now going into its fourth season, can be credited with some of the recent ladylike and romantic style motifs, delicate lace and long sleeves; a more restrained style sensibility characteristic of the decade just prior to the roaring 20s. So, from post-Edwardian Britain to 192's New York, it's definitely a throwback moment for fashion.
While current designers and collections offer many options for those of us enchanted with these styles, we can also go right to the source. On a recent trip to New York, I went searching for some authentic vintage finds. The appeal is quickly apparent; not only can you find something truly unique and beautifully made, but there's also a sense of history and character to the piece. I love the idea of mixing a vintage piece of clothing or jewelry with my more current and contemporary pieces.
Sometimes, I even think about their original owner -- wondering how differently we're wearing the same piece, how different our lives are. There's something magical and mysterious about the connection to a woman you know nothing about other than that you wore and loved the same piece of clothing or jewelry and that somehow it has lasted all this time.
But there's another reason to think about shopping for a vintage piece; it is both ethical and green. I'm not saying that I'm only ever going to wear vintage clothes... but shopping occasionally for vintage is a small way of buying something lasting and special. Two of the stores I loved in New York were Melet Mercantile and A Second Chance.
But, of course, you don't have to travel to New York to find amazing vintage finds! Websites like 1stDibs have an entire vintage fashion section and, of course, there are finds to discover on eBay and Etsy too. If you're shopping for vintage designer items, authenticity and condition will be key. Although, you might happen upon a lucky find, vintage designer items are just as likely to give you sticker shock as new ones!
Here are some more tips for shopping vintage:
(1) Follow your heart and your style: When you're submersed in that vintage shopping experience, it's easy to lose sight of your own style. Remember you're not looking for a period costume, but for something that can be incorporated into your existing wardrobe. For me, this means sticking to my trademark palette of black. Think about how you'll wear the vintage item, how you can update it (with either complementary or juxtaposing items). Vintage is one area where you can really follow your heart and make that impulse purchase because if you wait, you'll never find that item again.
(2) Ignore sizes and embrace alterations: We all know that sizing has crept up in recent years. This means that what was a size 6 in past decades may be significantly smaller that what we call a size 6 today. If you're buying online, ask the seller for waist and bust measurements to be confident the item will fit. If you're buying in person, be sure to try on. Most vintage store-owners can also make recommendations about where small repairs and alterations can be made on a piece too. Don't rule out a little bit of tailoring to get that perfect fit!
(3) Make a statement: With so many options for great basics in every style, shape and colour today, look specifically for something DIFFERENT when you're shopping vintage. Seek out bold accessories and embellished clothing, like beading or lace work. Your vintage piece should be a conversation starter... and one secret you'll gleefully share!
Vintage style is not just something to admire on the silver screen. With a little exploration and experimentation, you can give a vintage piece a new lease on life, a loving home and in the process, give yourself a new fashion outlook!
I'd love to know what past styles and decades inspire you and what your favourite vintage sources are... feel free to share in the comments below!]]>When Cities Grow, Do They Lose Their Soul?tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.32088762013-05-03T12:33:45-04:002013-05-03T12:33:50-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
Upon my return recently, I've been struck by the sea of glass and steel that's transforming my beloved hometown. Of course, Victorian neighbourhoods (like Parkdale and the Annex) and older industrial areas (e.g. the Distillery) still abound. But the dominant skyline of Toronto has become that of the high-rise condominium.
As a through-and-through city girl, I love this urbanization and development of our cities. And there are definitely examples of where an effort has been made to not only construct a building, but also create a place for people to congregate and build community -- such as HTO Park on the lakeshore and the park in Yorkville -- a welcome respite for shoppers and those living in surrounding condos!
But examples of truly successful and integrated dwell-live areas are too few and far between. I can't help but question if the current form of that growth is really a good thing for our city, for our communities and neighbourhoods. Boom times, of course, bring much that is good; modernization and development, an opportunity to innovate and attract leading architects. A good example of this is Frank Gehry's condo towers -- a collaboration with David Mirvish -- of which Gehry has said that "he wants the first six storeys to deliver a feel of 'old Toronto.'"
But boom times also create demand that outstrips supply. And sometimes this results in developers hastening to fill that market gap with little forethought for what they're building, how it will age over time, or contribute to the lifestyle and vitality of our cityscape. Because Toronto is my home town, of course I care about this! I also think about the real estate options that will face my son Justin, if he chooses to make Toronto his home.
Some of our older neighbourhoods; like the Annex, Cabbagetown and even my own small enclave of South Hill have so much character -- so much SOUL -- because they've grown organically over time. The homes there were built with pride and are now maintained with love. It's palpable on those streets and seems to have a knock-on effect on the street life -- even diversity of retailers, from independent stores to the reliable chains. This mix creates character and adds something for everyone -- a true "neighbourhood" experience.
Perhaps this is all simply a function of time... and with time the newer neighbourhoods, like those high-rise condo towers on the lake shore, will take on the same character as our beloved older neighbourhoods. But right now they don't feel quite the same. There's little soul in the newer construction in Toronto neighbourhoods, and I'm guessing the same could be said of many other Canadian cities like Calgary and Vancouver.
Of course, city planning and development is not my area of expertise. I come at this as a resident looking at how her own city is developing. I wonder how much of a city's character is planned "top-down" versus growing organically "bottom-up" over time?
When I travel, I look at cities like New York or Montreal and can't help but feel they do a better job merging old and new, preserving what's interesting and soulful; upgrading rather than tearing down. When I was looking for an apartment in New York, I was looking for a historic loft space in a 100+ year old building and this was entirely feasible. Toronto is, of course, a younger city (York was incorporated and renamed Toronto in 1834. But it was only in the second half of the last century that Toronto surpassed Montreal as the economic capital of Canada and its largest city). Even so, we should be doing a better job preserving and building upon the history we have.
This isn't only about housing, but also public spaces. The Highline in New York is an example of something old being reinvented and reinvigorated. It fits with the city; as a historic freight rail line it's long been part of the city. But now it offers a new perspective to tourists and residents alike. When I think of the ravines in Toronto, for example, I wonder if we could be doing more to make them vital and usable for commuters and tourists and just about anybody seeking refuge in a green and shady space.
I wish that the new construction contributed more to the overall lifestyle and beauty of our cities. It's one thing to throw up a condo tour and sell X number of units starting in the $300's (and yes, affordable housing should be celebrated in these inflated times). But where's the investment in the surrounding community and infrastructure? Who does that come from and how can we guarantee that what's built supports not only the demand for residences in a certain neighbourhood, but adds something to our cities that will stand the test of time.
When I look at other cities I love to be in; whether it's Paris, Montreal or New York... it's the sense of soulful evolution, honour given to both old and new that energizes and inspires me, that makes me fall in love with these places over and over again. But - most of all - it's character that transcends architecture or age. I hope that as Toronto continues to grow and thrive, we create a hometown that inspires that kind of pride and love.]]>Succeeding as an Introvert in an Extroverted Worldtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.31631682013-04-26T12:04:46-04:002013-04-26T15:03:21-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/The Quiet Power of Introverts seeks to bring back some balance into our thinking and appreciation of the introverted disposition. You can also watch her TED talk here:
The key feature that makes us either an introvert isn't the job we do or the number of friends we have; it's where we draw our energy from. Extroverts find company stimulating and energizing. They'll feel less energized if they're forced to spend time alone. Introverts, on the other hand, find their energy from being alone. This doesn't mean we don't like going out or won't enjoy a social gathering. But, our energy will be depleted by those events and we then need time to recharge alone, quietly.
Before I even learned about her book, I was acutely aware of this introverted/extroverted friction. You see, I've always categorized myself as an introvert, which may seem at odds with my industry -- after all PR is about being "out there" a whole lot. And I do host and attend large events, red carpets and work in a bustling office.
Yesterday, I spoke at a Women of Influence event about networking. At first glance, it may appear that networking is yet another area that's simply easier for those who are extroverted...that it comes more easily for the hyper-gregarious. But I don't think that's necessarily true. Here are some ways I think introverts can successfully network (perhaps even better than extroverts!)
(1) Cultivating deep one-on-one relationships
OK, so an introvert isn't going to be the person grandstanding at the centre of a room, but they definitely can hold a deep one-on-one conversation. Nurturing these kinds of relationships is really the hallmark of how I approach my business. I don't seek to dazzle an entire room, but hone in on those people with whom I have an authentic connection.
While introverts find it hard to be immediately outgoing, we're often good at observing and listening to others. And when you're looking to make like-minded connections, those are special skills. It means that the connections I make are -- first and foremost -- authentic and sincere. And the truth is that those are the relationships I want in my life and career; I really want to work with people I respect and admire!
(2) Creating intimate and personalized events
One of the things NKPR has become known for is our personalized touch. We don't use the same "blast" approach as so many other PR companies (an approach, I hasten to add, that has its own merits and can be effective in other ways). Rather, we think carefully and selectively about who to engage on every project.
We often host events in intimate places, like our own offices, which have been designed to facilitate this. And I sometimes even host events in my own home, which is where I'm most at ease and I can be social on my own terms. This not only fits with my disposition, but has resulted in a deeper and more intimate relationship with clients and contacts.
(3) Preparation and practice
I've had two occasions in recent weeks that pushed me outside my introverted comfort zone. The first was walking the runway at the Dare to Wear Love fashion show, the second was speaking about networking for Young Women of Influence. Of course, this isn't my first time speaking in public, but for sure, it's something that pushes me outside my comfort zone. It might be an introvert's first instinct to run away from such occasions, but there are times when we all know that pushing outside our comfort zone will be a rewarding and affirming thing.
For me, the key is preparation and practice. I practiced my walking for the runway show and I had some help from supermodel Stacey McKenzie, who gave me some tips about what to do and think when walking the runway (she said, think SEX...). But I also put my own spin on it; live tweeting and taking pics of the crowd as I walked. I prepared and practised, but I made sure I was still "me."
Similarly, I prepared my speech in great depth. I even gave myself a chance to warm-up by doing a live-Twitter event, which lifted my energy for the occasion. A lot of this practice and preparation took place in my introvert's comfort zone; alone. It allowed me to harness my energy for what I knew would be an exciting and rewarding, but energy-depleting, event. And afterwards, I made sure I had some down-time to regain my energy again.
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Susan Cain's book isn't defensive. She doesn't favour introverts over extroverts. Rather, she tries to point out the error of thinking success only looks one way; that it's all about brash backslapping. She also encourages us to learn how to interact with introverts as they are rather than thinking they ought to change to be more "outgoing," "bold" and "assertive." This is really about embracing diversity.
Introverts can be highly creative individuals, using their alone time to generate original and innovative ideas. Nurturing a balance of introverts and extroverts isn't only about doing what's right by individuals, it's also smart for our schools and businesses, for our own personal relationships. And, as an introvert, finding ways to network and operate on MY OWN terms has helped me create something original and distinctive, while also being true to myself.
]]>Don't Follow a List! Must-Haves for Spring Are All About Youtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.31035452013-04-17T17:36:18-04:002013-04-17T17:17:29-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
One of the nicer things about being somewhat older and wiser is that we settle down those insecurities. I now have a strong sense of who I am and what I like. Nowadays, my purchases aren't governed by external ideas of what the "right" thing to buy is, but what feels right to me. As we start a new season, I think it's a perfect time to explore something new, to give yourself a fresh start, in some small way. It may be as simple as a new shade of lipstick, or as permanent as a tattoo. For me, it's really about finding and following your own heart, listening to your own inner voice...
Here's what's calling to me right now:
(1) Wearing my heart on my sleeve
Each of my tattoos is a very special reminder and meaningful affirmation for me. I got them at a point in my life when I knew exactly who I was, and what was important to me. They're messages I want to be reminded of every day. One says "Gratitude," the other, "Be Brave" -- and I'm about to get a new one that will say "Love" -- funny I always seem to get my tattoos in the spring!
It's not only important to me to wear such meaningful messages, (literally my heart on my sleeve!), but also because the commitment of getting these tattoos is such an empowering thing to do for myself. I know that tattoos aren't for everybody. But it is one of those things we do for ourselves; it's like giving yourself a birthmark, something you'll have forever. And it's lovely to start a new season on a new and affirming note.
(2) Wearing the clothes, not the other way around
In Miranda Purves' Editor's Letter in the May 2013 Flare, she talks about needing her clothes to take care of her, not the other way around. She's exploring this concept in the context of wearing what she feels drawn to, not what she feels like she "should" wear. This is a powerful message for me and speaks to the same idea of letting go of the rule book...arriving at a place, and sense of self, that puts you firmly in charge of your own style, not following the pack.
I try to embody the same approach by letting myself love what I love regardless of prescribed rules. I just bought six (yes, six!) new kaftans from Soigne K in New York, and feel they'll be perfect for so many occasions. Some of my friends have joked that I'm entering a Mrs. Roper phase, but knowing what I love and going with that is something I now have the confidence to do. It's liberating, but it also makes me feel stronger in my self. I don't need approval or permission to wear what I want!
(3) Hanging art with a meaningful message
An art collection is so much more than a collection of pictures, it's an artist's narrative becoming part of my own life and story. Every artwork I own tells a story about a certain time in my life, about a certain place or outlook I had, or about a connection with an artist. Most of us don't have the talent to create amazing artwork, but by selecting and displaying art, we add our own self-expression to the artist's talent.
Credit: Olivia Steele
Right now, David Drebin is doing an incredible collection of neon installations. I've been following his work for a long time now, and he always takes things in interesting new directions. I've also been admiring neon installations by Olivia Steele with their messages like "I dream of you in colours that don't exist"... these are words that strike a chord deep in my soul.
(4) Talismans and charms
I'm also really drawn to the new jewellery that's surfacing right now, especially ring-to-wrist jewelry. Jacquie Aiche has some amazing pieces -- and her collection also carries a lot of meaning, like her iconic "love" rings. I'm also loving knuckle rings right now -- Shopbop and Odette both have a good collection! My Redline bracelets are also my constant reminder of love, luck, and life -- the three Ls!
Credits: Jacquie Aiche & Odette
Jewellery is sometimes seen just as a luxury adornment, but it can also be deeply symbolic. Designers like Jeanine Payer, Me & Ro, and Canadian company Pyrrha, all make a strong statement with their pieces, not just from a design standpoint but with messages that reflect and reinforce an individual's outlook. I love the idea of these talismans guiding us, keeping us safe and serving as a constant reminder of what matters most. When I found my Anita Ko heart, I was immediately drawn to it, (almost like falling in love!), and it's something I never take off; it just spoke to me and it wasn't even a question whether I'd buy it or not.
As new collections hit stores and the spring issues of magazines break out all the new trends, the must-have purchases and emerging designers, you may feel pushed and pulled to adopt certain looks. It can feel overwhelming at times; this sense of constant reinvention that the style world cultivates. Let's face it, most of us don't reinvent, rather, we evolve; that means adding and subtracting in ways that are more personal and profound than a simple checklist of "must-have stuff."
Following your heart, whether it be the choices you make around fashion, design, or love...is always the right thing to do.
]]>When Quitting Is the Right Choicetag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.30157642013-04-05T07:59:35-04:002013-04-05T07:59:54-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
On the other hand, sometimes the most liberating and empowering thing we can do is allow ourselves to give up on something that's simply not working. Quitting isn't always a negative thing. Sometimes, it's the right decision and it frees up space in our lives, creating opportunity to begin something new and better. I listened to this talk over the weekend, and it was a light-bulb moment!
The big question, though, is HOW and WHEN to make that decision to walk away. Everybody's situation is different and these are highly personal choices. If you're thinking about giving up on something, here are some questions you might ask yourself:
(1) Are you quitting or running away?
Some of us walk away from things because it's hard to commit. We may use language like "self-sabotaging," or wonder why we repeatedly overlook great relationships, or good career opportunities. Sometimes, we're holding out for a level of perfection that simply doesn't exist. But, other times, it's really about fear.
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A "flight instinct" is a primitive response that's supposed to protect us from imminent danger. And, in a way, perhaps people are scared of happiness because it also means being vulnerable to hurt and disappointment. But, quitting something because you're afraid of success or feel that you're not deserving, is neither positive nor liberating. Do a little gut-check...you'll probably recognize that you're being driven by fear. In that case, work on eliminating the fear before making any rash decisions that you might later regret.
(2) When was the last time it made you happy?
If you're considering giving up on something, ask yourself when it last made you happy. With any job or relationship, there was a likely time when you felt happiness, optimism, and joyfulness. When did you stop feeling it and why did things change?
All things go through difficult phases, but if you've been struggling to find joy in your situation for a long time, it might be true that it's no longer working for you. If you can, see if there are steps you can take to reignite the joy. However, if you can't imagine the situation improving no matter what you do, give yourself permission to seek a fresh start. After all, you deserve to be happy in your life and if a situation is making you miserable, set yourself free from it.
(3) Is there a future promise that's worth waiting for?
Many of us stay in situations because we build hope around what MIGHT manifest if we stick it out. We think that platonic friendship might turn into a perfect relationship. Or that horrible job might turn into a dream opportunity. Promises and opportunities dangle like proverbial carrots, just always out of our reach.
This is really normal -- especially at the beginning of something, when hopes are high and you're waiting to see if this will be "The One"... But, it's also worth formulating a framework for yourself: How long are you willing to wait for the dream to become a reality? Are you actively working at it? And, most importantly, how realistic is that dream outcome? If you're fantasizing about a fairytale outcome that's not realistic, don't let it hold yourself back from something that would make you feel happier.
(4) How does the thought of giving up make you feel?
You can make all the pro and con lists you like, but odds are your decisions will be as much about your own emotions than anything else. This also means that it's subjective... my "right decision" may not be the same as yours. So, forget about what you think you should do, or what other people have done, and think about how it feels to think about quitting.
Letting yourself engage your own emotions in this decision doesn't mean it has to be impulsive or unconstructive. You can feel, for instance, that you want to keep trying, but decide that you're only willing to do that for a certain amount of time, or make yourself list positive steps that will help you arrive at one decision or the other. If the thought of quitting makes you sad, dig into those feelings and explore what that sadness is about. Is it about regret or disappointment? Because to remain "stuck" doesn't necessarily fix those feelings.
But if, on the other hand, the thought of quitting something makes you feel liberated or empowered, feel immediately lighter and more optimistic, those are feelings to be seized and embraced, without regrets or looking back. After all, let's remember that endings are also beginnings... and that's a very beautiful thing.]]>Three of My New Beauty Obsessionstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.29782932013-03-29T17:53:30-04:002013-03-29T17:46:40-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
Plus, our skin, complexion, and ideas about beauty are very individual and there's no one-size-fits-all approach to skincare and make-up. Finding those products that work for YOU is an individual quest. That said, there's nothing quite like a recommendation from a girlfriend to help guide the way! Because my job throws me the way of so many new products and innovations, technology, and myths, I thought I'd share some of my own top picks that have made it into my medicine cabinet as trusted additions to my regimen!
(1) Strataderm
There are many scar-reduction creams on the market now. And I have to admit, I have mixed feelings about this quest for flawless perfection; after all, some of our scars have stories to tell and I think they're part of what makes us individual (imperfections can be beautiful too, after all!)
That said, I think most of us also have a scar or imperfection that we would rather just disappear, whether it's from an accident or operation. Thankfully there are many products on the market that help reduce scar tissue. I've had amazing luck with Strataderm, even on an older scar that's always bothered me. What makes Strataderm stand out is that it's classed a Health Canada Class 1 medical device, developed after first line hospital therapies. Cosmetics need only prove safety, but medical devices must prove safety and efficacy.
(2) Simply the best lip gloss!
You know those products you love so much that you keep one in your desk drawer, one in your purse, one at home, and one in the car (basically EVERYWHERE you might find yourself)... YSL's Sheer Candy lip gloss is that must-have product-of-the-moment for me.
It's hard to find that perfect "Goldilocks fit" when it comes to lipstick: Too glossy and our lips feel sticky; too creamy and it feels like it won't stay put. This balm dresses your lips in a sheer veil of brilliant colour, boosted with vitamin and antioxidant-rich fruit extract. Plus, (and we know this is important when it comes to lipstick), the packaging is completely beautiful - definitely one you'd happily apply in public!
(3) Vitamin C
We've known for a long time that Vitamin C is good for us. In fact, I was talking to a girlfriend recently and she recalled that Body Shop's Vitamin C soap was one of her first "beauty products" way back in the '80's. But, while the nutrient itself is as good as it has always been, what's evolved and developed is the mode of delivery.
The challenge with getting any nutrients into our skin is formulating products that don't lose their nutritional value. Just like fruit flown around the world and sitting in your fruit bowl for a week is less nutritious than one freshly picked, so are creams and lotions, exposure to sun and air can begin to degrade in their potency.
Look for products with a high concentration of Vitamin C (about 10%) and that come in serum form, preferably packaged in dark glass. I've been using Kiehl's Powerful-Strength Line-Reducing Concentrate as a supplement to my nightly skin regimen and definitely see and feel a huge improvement!
For me, the biggest skincare lesson is to pay attention to your own skin's needs. We tend to look for a regime that works and that we can stick to. But, just as we love routines in our own daily lives, so there are times when we need a break in routine... Similarly, there will be days when your skin wants something more than even the most successful routine you've established -- a little extra hydration, or a deeper cleanser, a day without make-up or irritants. On such days, be prepared to step back from your routine, and cater to your skins special and changing needs.
When it comes to beauty, change is also something to be embraced... with new technologies and formulations out there, it's always fun to experiment with new texture and shades. Make-up is an area where we can all afford to have fun (moreso than with fashion, where whimsical purchases can seem impractical or daunting). So, you can try that seasonal lip or eye shade, or try out that new technique. Plus, there's something so appealing about the promise those little containers of make-up contain... sometimes it's as much about the new packaging as the product, and you know what...sometime that's okay too!
Xo Natasha]]>My Favourite Inspirational Quotationstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.29342512013-03-23T08:46:16-04:002013-05-23T05:12:01-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
And spending time with Essie and Max is also inspiring; they've been together for 26 years, and I can say, without reservation, that theirs is one of the relationships I truly admire. Of course, like all couples, they've had their struggles, but their kindness, support, and love is palpable when you're in their company, and it expands to include their friends, colleagues, even their business!
Naturally, when you're in the company of such people, you want to glean some of their wisdom So, I asked Max what's the biggest thing he has learned about love and life. His three pieces of advice were:
1. "Know yourself." Once you know yourself, you accept who you are and understand what you want and why.
2. "Be lucky." This isn't something that happens to a lucky few, but a way of being you can choose: Embrace the good things that happen to you! Opportunities will not jump out at you and scream "opportunity!" You have to recognize them and seize them -- choose to be lucky.
3. "In life, never do things because you want something back." This is so true... we often do things because we hope it will make people love us, or that we will get a certain result. We should BE ourselves and DO what is natural and authentic for us, regardless of what other people may think or do in response.
Our conversation got me thinking about those quotations, I so often look to for affirmation or comfort or inspiration. So, with that, I thought I'd share some of my favourite quotes! I hope they move and inspire you, as they do me every day.
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." -- Maria Robinson (author)
I think this is an important one because so many of us dwell in the past, or live with regret. But, of course, we can't go back in time and change what's already happened (and really, I believe you should trust that what happened then was authentic in the moment). But if you're unhappy with something, you still have the power to affect change. The greatest power we have is to decide what we want to do today, right NOW. We can pull ourselves out of the past and take action today that will change the ending, even create a new beginning!
"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." -- Edward Vernon Rickenbacker (pilot and aviator)
I have a tattoo that says "Be Brave" -- it's my own daily reminder to take on things that scare me a little (or a lot!), to embrace change even though it's sometimes the hardest thing to do, and to be proactive rather than passive. I love this quote too because it acknowledges that it's okay to be afraid... in fact it's a sign you're about to do something significant... and that's empowering!
"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about." -- Winston Churchill (former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom)
Another quote that I feel is so important, but with a qualification... I don't think we should give up on things we think about every day, but I think we should reflect on what's holding us back. For me, this quote is a useful guide, like a compass, reminding me to reflect on what I want. Sometimes, that examination leads to positive action -- a structured set of goals. But sometimes that examination is a way of resolving something that has been too long left unresolved.
"I've learned that 'making a living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'" -- Maya Angelou (poet)
We live in such material times and, naturally, we all have our aspirations and passions with regards to work and money and the life we want to build. But sometimes we don't see the wood for the trees and we forget the reasons we're doing all those things. This isn't a criticism of ambition or having aspirations, just a reminder to see "making a living" in context... what we all really want is to be happy and make our loved ones happy, to love and allow ourselves to be loved... this is "making a life."
"If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life." -- Oscar Wilde (writer and wit)
This is really about love and patience -- about the kind of love that's worth waiting a lifetime for, and that it's something to not take for granted, but to cherish, honour, and respect.This is the kind of love that makes all the waiting worthwhile and that we would never abandon out of impatience or distraction. This quote speaks to the lifelong commitment of true love.
"The highest form of wisdom is kindness" -- The Talmud
This is such a fundamental idea for me, because we're so often pushing ourselves to DO and BE better, but so rarely do we think about the difference being KINDER would make. Whether it's at work, or in your relationships, being kind to each other is one of the most life-altering things we can do. Whether it's a small kindness, like helping a stranger, or a big one, like supporting a friend or relative, kindness defines us and brings out the very best in us and in others. And wouldn't the world be such a better place if we were all a little kinder?
If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know that I love a great quotation. When the right quote hits you on the right day, it can seem to bring structure and clarity to what's happening in your life, to make sense of all that's going on. It can be something you dedicate to another, like a song, (the song "This is Dedicated to the One I Love", by The Shirelles is - right now - making me smile!). I'd love to know what your favourite quotes are! Please share some in the comments, or tweet at me @natashankpr.
Xo Natasha
]]>Striking a Pose and Giving Something Backtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.28754982013-03-14T12:16:35-04:002013-05-14T05:12:01-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/Sex and the City has been on my mind lately. In particular, that season four episode where Carrie is asked to walk in a fashion show and ends up runway roadkill, with Heidi Klum stepping over her after she falls on the catwalk. It's one of those moments that would make any girl cringe for years to come. And why is it on my mind? Because I'm about to put myself in that exact position -- walking the runway for Dare to Wear Love!
To see Carrie's runway fall:
I love, and work alongside, the fashion and the style community, so it's both important and inspiring when the industry uses its powers for good. The Dare to Wear Love initiative is just one such project. Event founders Chris Tyrell and Jim Searle, of Toronto-based Hoax Couture, invite 25 top Canadian fashion designers to participate. Each is given six yards of African fabric from which to produce a one-of-a-kind ensemble, and the resulting creations are modelled at the gala by supermodels, dancers, musicians, and others (yes, including me!) The Gala raises funds to support the Stephen Lewis Foundation in its fight to turn the tide of AIDS in Africa. Naturally, I was keen to support such a worthy cause.
Now, the task of getting runway-ready! I'm definitely used to wearing sky-high heels. But, walking unselfconsciously, and with poise, is one of those things that seems easy until you actually try, imagining every step being watched by many onlookers! I've been practising my model walk in the office (so far, so good -- no runway roadkill!). The girls keep reminding me to keep my head up, plant my feet confidently, and channel some of that all-important attitude -- knowing they'll be there to cheer me on definitely helps! And let me tell you, I have a newfound respect for the men and women who do this for a living.
You may also recall in that SATC episode, Carrie's outfit is switched at the last minute and she has to walk in nude, sequined underwear. Thankfully, that's one thing I won't have to worry about -- I'll be wearing my favourite designer Greta Constantine... so, at the very least, I'll love what I'm wearing, which of course makes it a lot less intimidating. I think we women know how much easier it is to strut your stuff when you actually feel confident and comfortable with what you're wearing! The rest, then, is up to me!
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Much as I'm nervous, I'm also excited! I love fashion and runway shows. I always sit in the front row in awe of the production and performance that goes into these events, from the hair and makeup to the fabulous clothing, lighting and music. Fashion shows pulse with excitement and optimism as we look forward to a new season and allow ourselves to fantasize about what's on show, all the possibilities the clothes suggest, and how deeply entwined with each of our identities style becomes.
Naturally, I love looking at the beautiful models too. And I know that, under normal circumstances, I would not be a candidate to walk a runway. So, it's a true treat and honour to play "model for a day," and I'm also proud to walk representing an age and shape that is not often represented on the runway. When I was asked to participate, I quickly chased away my own insecurities and thought, this will be a good thing, for myself and for other women. After all, fashion should be celebrated by all of us -- not just for one body shape or size.
But, I'm really doing this because Jim and Chris's passion for this cause resonated so deeply with me! Their enthusiasm was really infectious -- so much so that I got my whole team on board! The Stephen Lewis Foundation puts money directly into the hands of grassroots organizations in Africa that are turning the tide on the AIDS pandemic in ways that are innovative, sophisticated and effective.
I've written before about the importance of finding a way to give back. And it inspires me to see others find that worthy cause that's a fit for themselves as individuals and as professionals. With so many worthy causes and ways of giving, it truly is about finding that organization that resonates with you as an individual.
If you would like to attend the show on March 22, please visit the Dare to Wear Love website for information and tickets... And, if you do attend, cross your fingers for me! I'll be doing my very best to take it slow and enjoy every step -- after all, fashion dreams are made of such moments!]]>Five Ways to Mend a Broken Hearttag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.28283502013-03-07T12:18:22-05:002013-05-07T05:12:01-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
Sometimes, our instinct is to blame ourselves for being so wrong. We criticize our early optimism, promising to be more guarded with our heart in the future, to not allow ourselves to be hurt by others. But as long as you're putting yourself "out there" there's always going to be a chance you'll get hurt again. As with all falls in life, it's important that you acknowledge you've been hurt, but also help yourself get back up again. Here's how:
(1) Grieve
We tend to believe we should just be able to bounce back from heartbreak, especially if the relationship was not a very long-term one. It's important to allow yourself to acknowledge that you had deep feelings, that you had felt a connection with another and invested your hopes and even dreams in that connection.
Many people will take these feelings of grief out on themselves, thinking they should not have invested too much too soon. But relationships are about making little leaps of faith all the time, and being willing to give your heart away to another. When it doesn't work out, instead of beating yourself up, allow yourself to acknowledge the disappointment. This need not be about blame -- things often don't work out for many different reasons and sometimes things just aren't "meant to be." Still, even if that's the case you're allowed to feel sadness.
(2) Heal
While you're grieving the sadness of a failed relationship, it's important you heal too. By a certain age, most of us are carrying some kind of baggage from past relationships. There's a big difference between learning a lesson about yourself or about love, and holding onto emotional baggage that drags you down. We all naturally want to protect ourselves from future hurt, but it's also true that being mistrustful or suspicious of others in the future will not help you move on. So, you must allow yourself to heal your pain, and to understand that heartbreak is not some inevitable outcome that you're bound to repeat again of relationships past.
(3) Reflect
While self-blame is often exaggerated and unproductive, it's also worth reflecting on the relationship and possible reasons why it didn't work out. This exercise is not about performing a postmortem on your past relationship, but about understanding yourself better through reflecting on what happened. True healthy love only comes when you've worked to understand your past relationships and key learnings.
Things you might consider include:
- Communication styles: Did you feel you could express yourself well in this relationship? How did you communicate when you were angry or hurt, for example? Did you "listen" to your partner's needs/concerns?
- Affection: Were you speaking the same "language" of affection and, if not, did this lead to misunderstandings or feelings of dissatisfaction?
- Compatibility: Did your lifestyles mesh? For example, were there issues about work/life balance, finances or life ideals?
- Dynamic: Was your relationship based on mutual respect, friendship, and affection? Or, were you always trying to "fix" the person, or were they trying to "fix" you? (nobody and no relationship is ever going to fix you, you have do that for yourself!)
The goal here is not to dwell on the past but to enable yourself to learn from past relationships. If you find that you're always drawn to the same type of person or are prone to repeating mistakes, understanding the patterns you're repeating can help you avoid the same mistakes again.
(4) Find support
I guarantee you this: All your friends have experienced some kind of heartbreak. It's important to confide in somebody who will listen and be supportive. But, while there are friends who will listen supportively and empathetically, there are also people dying to say "I told you so" or "I never liked him anyway". While you're feeling vulnerable, avoid those kinds of interactions that might make you feel even more vulnerable.
At the same time, there's usually a time limit of even the most kind friend listening to you mull over a breakup. If you find that you need a neutral third party to help you work through heartbreak, consider seeing a therapist or counselor . They'll also be able to help you see the bigger picture.
(5) Believe
I really believe that it's better for something to fail than to be trapped in a situation that's not working. Once you've recovered from the disappointment of heartbreak, you're free to find a new and healthier relationship. And in that way heartbreak is part of the journey to finding the best relationship you can be in. When you do find that true love, you'll look back on those past relationships and understand the role they played in shaping you and also helping you along the path to finding your soul mate.
We tend to be very impatient in matters of the heart, always wanting to find "the one", and for things to progress perfectly. Instead of rushing to that finish line, slow down and patiently consider what it is you want and need to feel happy. Nine times out of ten you'll realize that the relationship you're sad about wasn't working for you either. Remind yourself that you deserve nothing but the truest love and happiness, heal your heart and, above all, keep believing.
Xo Natasha
]]>How to Put the Spark Back in Your Careertag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.27826442013-02-28T17:55:40-05:002013-04-30T05:12:01-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
My own career is so much more to me than a job I clock into every day. It's not just a source of income, but one of personal identity and pride. Even so, it's not without its challenges. Like all relationships, your relationship with your job will have highs and lows. But how do you rekindle the fire when you've gone through some career lows? Here are some of my tips:
(1) Pace yourself
I see this all the time: People are so hungry when they first take on a new role or embark upon their career. But when the gratification, promotion, or success is not overnight, they jump ship. Our culture is definitely one of instant gratification, and patience is a rare trait. But managing a career is more like a marathon than a sprint. It's important to commit to the long course and to pace yourself to go the distance.
When you're first embarking on your career, it's important to absorb as much as you can from the people around you, to challenge yourself to higher and higher standards. As a manager, I really notice those people who create their own passion and sparks, rather than those who expect it to be given to them. But even if you're proactive, it all takes time... so, unless you want to burn out, make sure to pace yourself!
(2) Keep a life
Yes, you should pour your heart and soul into your career, make it a thing of passion. But it shouldn't be the ONLY object of passion in your life. We all know how important both giving and receiving love is -- and your job can be a place of love, (love for your job and for the people you work with). But also, leave plenty of room in your life for other people and for hobbies that fill you with passion and energy. For example, Bunmi in our office loves to sing and is recording a CD -- which is amazing for her, but also something the entire office shares in the excitement of!
I really believe your life should be integrated, (not in competition), with your work. So, if fitness is important to you, set your days up so that you can workout without feeling like you're performing a high-wire balancing act. If you're always trading off the things you love doing or people you love being with, because of your job, you'll start to resent your workplace -- which isn't good for you or your employer.
Arriving at an objective understanding of your role so that you can set priorities and identify areas that can be streamlined or eliminated is one way of making sure you keep your work-life in check. Sometimes we get sucked into doing way more than is necessary, adhering to procedures that are no longer valuable or efficient. Staying streamlined and open to help from others will help you keep everything balanced. Simply put, if you keep your career in a healthy and balanced place, you'll feel passionate about it for a lot longer.
(3) Find your role
No matter what industry or position you work in, you have a set of skills that are your real core strengths. Perhaps you're an excellent communicator, or maybe you're a mentor who loves to take new staff under your wing. Maybe you're a soloist who likes nothing more than to own a project completely and work independently.
Without judging yourself harshly, acknowledge the kind of role you really thrive in and try to create opportunities to put yourself in a position to do more work in that vein. If you're a communicator, maybe ask if you can contribute to the company website or blog. If you're a mentor, see if there's an internship or work placement program you can get involved in. We all feel deeper satisfaction when we're doing that thing we're really good at. Sometimes, it's not even a matter of changing roles, but of manoeuvring yourself into a position where you can play to your own key strengths.
(4) Give yourself butterflies again
This one really applies to those of us who have been doing the same job for a long time. When we look back on those early days of our careers, many of us can remember the excitement of learning the job. Much of this excitement was wrapped up in nervous and excited energy -- every meeting was nerve-wracking, every new project a challenge.
The more experienced you become the less you feel that early nervousness. In some cases, people start to coast once they've figured out how to do a job well. In more extreme cases, people become resistant to change. So, if you want to keep the sparks alive, be sure to challenge yourself. Whether it's through adopting new technology, challenging yourself to come up with new ideas, or doing something an entirely different way... you'll reignite that early nervous excitement again and you'll see it's really good to give yourself butterflies.
***
There are definitely times when, for personal and professional reasons, you may decide that a change of workplace, or even industry, is the thing you need to keep the spark alive. Obviously, we all need to follow our own heart and path when this happens and sometimes that kind of change can be one of those landmark transformations in a person's life.
On the other hand, it's always easy to assume the grass is greener on the other side. If you're contemplating change, make sure you're considering it from a grounded perspective. Perhaps there are opportunities in your current workplace that you might want to consider? It's worth exploring whether you can grow and develop WITH a company rather than jumping every time you get itchy feet.
Work should be exciting and challenging, a source of pride and joy. And each person's definition of "success" is subjective. When you're staying true to yourself and following that course, your passion will stay alive.
xo Natasha
]]>Stretching My "Uniform" With Must-Haves for Springtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.27301712013-02-21T12:47:41-05:002013-04-23T05:12:01-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
As we move into a new season, I get just as excited about the arrival of new collections as a person who reinvents their wardrobe every season. Why? Because although I've figured out my wardrobe, there are always exciting new versions of things to help me expand my style in new directions. True, I won't be wearing an abundant Dolce floral this spring, but that doesn't mean I won't be trying new things in my own way!
The truth is that no matter how much you have got your style figured, it simply can't stay the same... even the most basic basics evolve over time and you could very quickly look outdated if you didn't adopt new cuts, materials, hemlines, heel height etc. I don't necessarily chase every new trend (last summer's peplum, for example, was NOT for me!), but I do look at what's emerging for new things that will fit with my existing style.
What's on my radar may not be the same as what every fashion editor is picking out. Trends like neons, pastels and florals rarely make a dent in my fashion consciousness. I look for subtler shifts in my style and for new designers whose signature look matches my own. In that way, my wardrobe keeps moving forward and I get to partake in all the joy of dipping into new collections, discovering those new designers and, of course, adding new shoes and accessories!
So what's on my radar for Spring? Here's where I'm going fashion-wise:
(1) Leather
Leather is one of my mainstays -- especially leather jackets. This season, I'll be wearing skinny leather pants, but also some relaxed leather pants I found from Vince -- with a T-shirt and great heel, my outfit will be complete. Barbara Bui also did an amazing leather tunic and pant combination this season. It's been a while since I did head-to-toe leather, but I think we can totally do it! If that's too much for you, check out Denis Gagnon's incredible mix of leather and linen.
(2) Shoes
Shoes are always a BIG focus for me and one of the areas where I'll sometimes let colour creep in. Navy and white are always crisp and casual but I love strappy heels and embellished (studs!) shoes too. For flats I usually love a Chuck Taylor style high-top (my favourite pair are studded too!) but I'll also try out the new Celine slip-on trainers.
(3) Embellishments
I'm opting for a lot of embellishments right now -- I picked up a great Michael Kors top -- my trusty black, but with an incredible chain neckline. I especially love tougher embellishments -- chains and studs and more gothic style embroidery -- over anything overtly romantic or feminine.
(4) Silhouette
My favourite silhouette of the season was from Greta Constantine and I've resolved to try out the maxi dress this season; I just love the idea of breezing about in something more voluminous. I'll also be relying on my favourite silhouette -- a dress or tunic over pants. I do this even with flats. The key for me is always having pants cut at the ankle (no matter what the heel). In terms of those anchor pieces, I'm loving Rag and Bone jeans right now.
(5) Hats!
I'll be rocking lots of hats this spring. They were all over the Saint Laurent runway and I was really inspired by the looks. This will be one of those new things that pushes in a slightly new direction, while still fitting my established style. As in all things, it's good to push yourself to experiment with your wardrobe... if everything starts to feel very safe and the same, try something that makes you a little nervous... you may even find that it becomes your new signature look!
]]>Love's Evolution Through Your Twenties, Thirties and Fortiestag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.26420902013-02-08T12:12:10-05:002013-04-10T05:12:01-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
But love isn't an easy concept. For me it's something that has changed as I myself have changed. No relationship ever stays the same and as we evolve and grow, so too does the love in our lives. Sometimes those changes mean we grow apart from loved ones. Other times, we change and grow together and our mutual love evolves to a new place. It's different for every person and relationship and there's no right or wrong way... like so many other things, all you can be is authentic to yourself in the moment and honest with the person you're with.
In each relationship and decade of life, love plays a different role, takes on a different hue...
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In our 20's...
I sometimes think about the way I loved in my 20's and realize how different it is for me now. In our 20's, most of us are still "finding ourselves" -- figuring out what we want to do, finding our individual style and lifestyle. But those first steps can be tentative too... we're at once bold and brave, but also insecure. Everything is new and we feel it all so deeply.
Without the wisdom of experience, we have only our own ideas about how things should be. My idea of romance in my 20's was based more on movies and books, than real experience. I was obsessed with the movie "'Til There Was You" -- you probably have not heard of it -- but for me, this movie defined falling in love in my 20's. The synopsis is: two strangers whose paths are always crossing finally meet when fate steps in. I suppose I still believe in all the amazing possibilities life presents to us when we least expect it.
The joy of finding love in this decade is that you can grow with your partner. Twenty-something relationships are really formative and if you meet somebody who you can continue to learn with, your relationship can be long and fulfilling.
In our 30's...
In my 30's, love became much more grounded. As careers are established and roots set down, our idea of romance is more integrated with the reality of our days. Small gestures, mutual support, planning and building a life together become important. Whereas in our 20's we were more likely to be swept off our feet by charm and chemistry, in our 30's we're usually more considered in our approach to love. Compatibility becomes key -- not just in terms of personality but also lifestyle.That's not to say those butterfly feelings evaporate in your 30's (I don't think they ever do!) but romance does become a little less heady.
On the flip side, those who are still dating may begin to feel jaded about love and to worry that time is running out. At any age, I think cynicism is something to protect yourself from. I really believe love can strike at any time... there's no right or wrong template, no time-frame or plan that must be followed; keeping an open heart and mind is key to keeping that romance alive! I also believe that in our 30's we're more self-aware and have a better handle on who we are. Whether you're in a relationship or still looking, this can be an advantage and a disadvantage. Love is all about compromise, forgiveness, continuing to grow. So while it's good to know who you are and be confident in what you want, also realize that love requires flexibility and forgiveness!
In our 40's and beyond...
We change so much in our 30's and 40's. And if you've been in a relationship during those decades you've probably experienced challenging times, when you and your partner moved away from each other. Occasionally, those differences prove to be irreconcilable, but sometimes the dynamic is redefined into something better, more reflective of who you both are as individuals and as a couple.
I believe the key to success is honesty. Honesty is hard. My friend Carrie gave me some great advice: It takes more courage to be honest with yourself and others than it does to hold it in. Honesty is a two-way street; it relies on both partners being engaged and open. If you create a culture of honest and open sharing in your relationship, it really will give you a basis to grow and evolve with each other.
Falling in love (or back in love) at any age presents both joys and challenges. Relationships exist in a mysterious space between two people and they rely on both people being open, honest, loving and having each other's backs. When one person withdraws or becomes angry, it's difficult for the other person to fill in the void. Without a doubt, love requires you to push outside of yourself even when you want to stick your head in the sand, to communicate even when the words are hard to say, to listen even when what you hear might hurt you.
But the reward is so worth it! The feeling of being connected, of loving and being loved unconditionally is life's most wonderful gift. Despite the hard-to-swallow "key learnings" and the heart-ache, I've never stopped believing in love and I'll always have an open heart... and that's what I'll be celebrating this February 14.]]>How to Travel With Only Your Carry-Ontag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.26000272013-02-01T17:42:50-05:002013-04-03T05:12:01-04:00Natasha Koifmanhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-koifman/
I travel a lot for work -- and as often as I can to favourite cities for leisure too. Having overcome my phobia of confined spaces (and therefore flying), I fully embrace the convenience and speed of air travel. It's not unusual for me to be in multiple cities in one week; recently it was Montreal, New York and Toronto in 48 hours! And in February I'm looking forward to LA, Manchester, London, two trips to New York, Dominican Republic, Montreal and Toronto -- phew! just writing it is exhausting never mind living it. Needless to say, packing for it all will be a daunting prospect!
One of the ways I've lessened the stress of all this flying is by only travelling with carry-on when I'm travelling for work or short trips. The slower pace of a longer holiday allows for check-in luggage, but when I'm staring down three cities in a couple of days, carry-on only makes sense. It takes discipline and, of course, there are rules and restrictions to follow, but it is doable! Here's how I pull it off:
(1) Consider shoes first
Shoes take up the most space in your luggage. And if you're like me, they're also the "signature" item, the thing that often makes your outfit stand apart. I bring just two pairs of shoes -- one flat (yes, I do occasionally wear flats -- mostly studded Converse high-tops!) and one heel -- on every trip. The first thing I do when packing is decide what shoes I want to wear when I travel... everything from the ankle up takes its cue from that! At this time of year, wearing your favourite shoes can be a risky business on our salty and icy streets, so it's even more of a pleasure to dwell on the possibilities of donning those favourite heels in friendlier climates!
(2) Stay neutral
I'm unapologetic when it comes to my all-black closet (what can I say? I LOVE it!) But it really does serve me well when travelling because I don't have to worry about colour-coordination. I need only concentrate on shape and length, rather than colour, when choosing clothing. With the right selections, I wind up with pants, tunics, dresses, a leather jacket, tights and sweater-coats that can be coordinated and layered to create different looks. Often my dress will act as a tunic over my pants topped with my leather jacket!
Even if you're the kind of person who adores colour, I'd suggest narrowing down your palette when packing so that you can stick with fewer items that can be worn interchangeably to create different looks. If you're going for a change in climate, think about exploring a palette that you might not wear during winter in Canada. I even occasionally reach for white, though my "stretch" colour is mostly navy!
(3) Day-to-night accessories
A black dress can be taken day-to-night with just a purse swap and the addition of a dramatic piece of jewelry. An evening clutch or envelope and dramatic necklace will take up very little space in your luggage, but will ensure that you can go from office to evening easily. Because my job often involves both daytime and evening events, making this transition easily and quickly is a real secret of success.
It's a pet peeve of mine, but I also think about the hardware on my purses. If I'm only wearing a few things and my clothes are all black, I find it really jarring when the hardware on my purse clashes with my jewelry or the hardware on my shoes. So, if I'm going to be wearing silver metals, I make sure my purse has similar hardware, likewise for gold. It may sound nit-picky, but these are the details that make you look polished and put-together.
(4) Pack travel sizes
Many skincare and cosmetics companies offer travel-sizes of your favourite products -- take advantage of them! I keep travel sizes of all my favourite Kiehl's products at the ready. When you're away from home, it's especially nice to have those familiar favourites and it becomes a way of creating a home away from home. Even scented candles come in a travel size and I always travel with my favourite Costes candle because it instantly makes a hotel room feel a bit more like home.
(5) The sweater coat
The sweater coat is one of my all-time wardrobe staples -- my favourite is by Jil Sander. I always wear one the plane so I don't have to pack its bulk away in my luggage...but it's an essential travel garment too. Even if your destination is warm, airports and planes can be cold and draughty. If you're travelling red-eye, you'll also appreciate having something cozy to curl up in too. And when you're tired and just dying to get home, a sweater coat nearly doubles as a security blanket -- something warm and familiar to make you feel comforted!
(6) Downsize the technology
This is one area where I really take advantage of the most recent advancements. Remember those unwieldy first laptops? No more! I don't even bring a laptop with me any more, but rely on my iPad Mini. Before you load up your luggage with bulky technology really think about the tasks you'll need to perform and what devices you can use. Maybe you're more likely to Instagram on your iPhone than carry around that DSLR with all its lenses. Be honest -- and ruthless -- with yourself!
I know many people aspire to travel carry-on, but can't seem to make it happen. But, trust me: If I can do it, ANYONE can! Hopefully these tips help you on your next trip. If you have any of your own tips you'd like to share, I'd love to hear them too!
