2013-05-24T01:29:21-04:00 Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/author/index.php?author=samantha-kempjackson Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Samantha Kemp-Jackson Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3216061 2013-05-07T07:44:43-04:00 2013-05-07T15:23:41-04:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/ An Emergency Preparedness Checklist -- Top 10 Tips For Families

The week of May 5 to 11 is Emergency Preparedness Week in Canada. An annual event, the first week of May signals an opportunity for people to make sure that they're ready for any eventuality that may occur in their homes. After all, with the unexpected severe weather events of recent years, is it any wonder that emergency power outages are not uncommon?

Emergency preparedness is particularly important in families with children in the home. Not only should parents make sure that their kids know fire drills and how and when to act in emergency situations; they should also make sure that kids are well-versed on where certain items are in the home, and where to find them in the event of an emergency. Kids can be particularly affected by change and the unknown; for these reasons, parents should assure that they are not only prepared for emergencies, but that their kids are as well.

Following is An Emergency Preparedness Checklist -- Top 10 Tips For Families

1) Money, Money, Money -- We all love money, but never more so than when we really need it and may not be able to get it. Many of us forget that in an instance of a power outage or similar event, bank machines and access credit are down -- often leaving us in the lurch. With children in the mix, it's important to have access to funds, which may be needed to purchase food supplies, medicine, etc. Make sure to always have a supply of cash on hand to cover expenses for a short period of time. It may be sufficient to have $50-$75; just make sure that the money is broken down into smaller denominations such as $10 bills so that change for payphones and other incidentals is easily attained.

2) Doctor in the House -- A First Aid Kit is key to being prepared for any type of emergency. In times of crisis, it may not be possible to get medical attention or help as quickly as we would like. Because of this, having a First Aid Kit that includes some standard items such as bandages and gauze, medication (Advil, Tylenol and related children's doses) and more is more important than ever. The point is to be prepared until further medical help arrives. Check your kit regularly to make sure that all items are replenished.

3) Food, Glorious Food -- In addition to the First Aid Kit, it's important to have a supply of emergency food and water that will last your family for a full 72 hours. While that may seem like a long period of time to be without power or to be in the midst of an emergency, you just never know, so why not be prepared? It's always better to err on the side of caution. If you're like me, you might even include some treats to help alleviate the nervousness or to barter for better behaviour!

4) Entertainment: Make sure to include things that you can entertain the kids with in your kit. It's pretty much a sure bet that after the first hour they'll start to stir, and complain that there's nothing to do. For younger children you can easily print off a list of games to play in the dark. Also look for a site that provides a good checklist of all the things you'll need. Remember as well to pack some books, toys, and a deck of cards.

5) In a Flash -- Of course a flashlight seems like a no-brainer as part of an emergency kit, but did you know that battery-powered or wind-up flashlights are the best in situations like this? Without having to rely on electrical power (or batteries in some instances), these items will prove to be priceless when the lights suddenly go out.

6) Charge it! -- Having a smart phone is of little use if it's not charged. In the event of a sudden emergency, you may have to make a call from your wireless phone. If possible, have a charged one always at the ready; there are many reasonably priced portable, stand-alone chargers for cell phones that are now available. Consider investing in one and keeping it and your phone charged in the case of an emergency. Or, have your car charger handy as you can always use that as a back-up.

7) Get Grounded -- And despite of your best cell phone charging efforts, doing so just doesn't cut it sometimes. In some emergency situations, cell phones won't work. In other words, if you're thinking of ditching your landline, think again. While trends have led many to forgo traditional technology for the sake of wireless and mobile phones, a blackout where there's no access to wireless service reminds us that the old-fashioned home phone line is useful after all. In addition, calling 911 with a cell phone might make it difficult for emergency responders to locate you. In emergency situations, your landline is your friend. Have one available if you can.

8) Bundle Up -- A sleeping bag or warm blanket for each member of the household will come in handy in the event of a power outage or family emergency. Have these available as part of your Emergency Preparedness kit.

9) A List of Who's Who -- Scrambling in the dark for phone numbers and contact information is no fun, particularly when small kids are in the mix and possibly panicking. Make sure to have an emergency contact list of all of the people that you may need to get in touch with in the event of an emergency. These include family members, child care providers, school contacts, neighbours and more. Have this information compiled in the light of day before anything happens so that when you do need to contact people, you won't be in the dark -- literally -- trying to find the numbers.

10) Road Trip!: Have a relocation plan. Have an alternate location to go to in the event that you cannot be without power, even for a short period of time (i.e. babies might need a bottle warmed and being without heat or air conditioning might present risks to the very young). Consider a local library or community centre or even a friend or family member's home.

So as you can see, there are some simple things that families can do to assure that they're prepared in the case of an emergency situation at home. The key is being prepared before the emergency happens.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3218996 2013-05-06T11:10:57-04:00 2013-05-06T12:42:13-04:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/
That frail old woman, doddering and slow, walking along with a cane.

Poor thing, you think. And then you move on.

You go about your day, perhaps on to work; then to the grocery store for a few items, then on home to the family. Dinner awaits, after all, and you are head cook.

Because of this, your wonderful husband and lovely children are going to take you out for a well-deserved brunch in celebration of Mother's Day this Sunday. After all, you deserve it. You've loved, cared for, sacrificed and encouraged your kids like no other, and they appreciate you. You're a good mom.

Oh -- and remember that frail old woman that you passed in the street earlier? So is she.

That unremarkable wisp of a person has a remarkable story, for anyone who would care to listen, for she -- like you -- has done her share of scrimping, saving, sacrificing and soothing, and then some. She's not only done it for her kids, but for the kids of her kids and perhaps, even, yet another generation of little ones. Grandma, great-grandma, aunt, friend and sister -- she is all of these things and more.

She wiped the tears away from more than a few crying children before any of us were born. She raised a family, then stepped in to help raise her children's families as well. She was the nice neighbourhood mom whom all the kids loved. She was one of the more active members of her kid's school PTA. She did all of the mundane "mom" things that we all do, and did it probably more often than all of us. She knows the meaning of "mom" like no other.

Yet her contribution to motherhood is often forgotten in the bloom of youth. After all, moms, as many of us see them are younger, more vibrant, more alive. Ironic, really, because this mother, grandmother, great-grandmother -- well, she's lived alright. She's lived a thousand lifetimes of 4 a.m. feedings, dirty diapers, teen angst and college convocations. And remember -- she's done so for more than one generation of kids.

We often pass her by on the street; a natural reaction, after all. She's nondescript, elderly and often unnoticeable, but only because we've chosen not to notice. She doesn't stand out in the crowd so why should we look twice? It's human nature to overlook things that blend into our surroundings, this is true, but should this also be the case for people? She may not look like our idea of a "mom" but she is one, through and through.

What is it about our society and culture that embraces youth so desperately while at the same time, discards anything -- or anyone -- who has the slightest tinge of age? How can it be that a sage of a person who as the wisdom of time as well as the battle scars of service be tossed aside as we go about our daily lives, often so self-possessed and myopic about our own entitlement? Why do we not remember the love and sacrifices of the older generation of mothers who are often now long forgotten by not only society but worse -- their children and grandchildren?

As we walk down the street we are passing many moms, grandmothers, aunts and sisters, all of whom have played a vital role as a motherly figure in so many lives. That homeless woman with the shopping cart, the strange and cranky old lady across the street, that quirky "cat lady" colleague who's now mothering only felines -- they all have stories to tell, many of them involving their kids. If only we'd take the time to listen. This Mother's Day, let's remember all of the mothers who have contributed so much to our lives yet have so often become forgotten.

For they are mothers too.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3094894 2013-04-18T08:26:53-04:00 2013-04-18T08:26:47-04:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/
No sooner do those dreaded words leave the lips of your child and you've already broken out into a cold sweat.

The thought of entering a public bathroom with your kid is more than you can bear. A cesspool of germs -- literally -- thoughts of the Bubonic Plague and worse swirl around your mind.

"Are you sure?" you ask, hoping for a reprieve. "Can you wait until we get home?!"

Of course the answer is a big fat "NO!" from your child who is now hopping up and down, trying to hold off an imminent deluge, much to your protestations.

Have no fear the next time this scenario presents itself. There are, thankfully, some very simple tips and strategies that parents can use in order to avoid picking up too many of those dreaded germs, diseases and other choice microorganisms that seem to fester in public bathrooms.

Following are the Top 5 Ways to Deal With Public Bathrooms When Out With the Kids

1) Don't touch anything -- Make sure to use tissue to open doors before and after leaving the bathroom. Don't touch the bathroom locks, doors, taps etc. with your bare hands. Flush the toilet with your foot. I'm serious.

2) Bring hand sanitizer with you -- Apply after washing hands. you may accidentally touch something and no amount of soap and water will make you feel clean. The hand sanitizer is an extra reassurance that you will get our of that place without the a serious illness or disease.

3) Teach your kids not to touch everything and to always wash their hands after every trip to the toilet -- Explain to them how diseases are spread in simple terms. Once they get it, they won't want to touch anything in a public washroom either. Trust me on this.

4) Hover -- A must if you're raising a little girl. For boys, this may prove to be a necessary skill as well. Failing this or weak thigh muscles, put toilet paper on the seats. By all means, try to avoid contact with the toilet seat whenever possible. I know that experts say that you can't catch diseases from toilet seats but why take a chance?

5) Make a deposit before you leave the house -- Urge your child to go to the bathroom at home. To avoid the nightmare that is often a visit to a public bathroom with your kids, let the little ones get in the habit of going to the toilet before going out to decrease the likelihood of them having to use public facilities. Even if they do have to go when you're out, it won't be as bad if they've visited the loo before heading out.

So you see, your trip out with the kids doesn't have to be a stressful and anxiety-producing event. Prepare accordingly by following the tips above and you'll be good to go.

This post also appears at www.multiplemayhemmamma.com

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3032999 2013-04-08T08:22:28-04:00 2013-04-07T23:09:56-04:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/
The Top 10 Mom Types You'll Find at the Park

1) Hover-Mom -- Think helicopter mom on steroids. This mother believes that anything and everything in the world outside her door can and will harm her child. As a result, she will be in extremely close proximity to her child at all times to the point of practically smothering her little darling. And don't get in between her and her kid or else you will have a "mama bear" scenario on your hands and it won't be pretty.

2) Freestyle-Mom -- Live and let live. This mom believes that the child could and should do whatever they like. Accordingly, you'll be the one watching them in the sandbox just before they eat a mound of dirt. Just make sure that you have 911 on speed-dial when you're in the presence of this mom's child because you know that you'll be the one having to call emergency.

3) Techno-Mom -- This mom is up on the latest tech gadgets. Think smartphone, iPad, e-readers and more. This mommy looks at an afternoon at the park as an opportunity to catch up on her email, phone calls, latest bestselling novel (in digital form, of course) and music. She also will spare no expense on being fully outfitted with the trendiest new gizmo as per Mashable, in order to accompany her kid to the park. After all, it's really important to spend quality time with her child.

4) Business-Mom -- A very close relative of Techno-Mom, Business-Mom is a no-nonsense, Type A parent, even when she's helping her kid to navigate the see-saw and the monkey bars. Following the philosophy that it's "all business, all the time," this mom has no problem closing a multi-million dollar deal, delegating a killer presentation or chastising an employee all while smugly glancing at those "simple" parents who don't have the sophistication to be employed in such a high-powered career as hers.

5) Bossy-Mom -- To this mom, it's her way or the highway, no questions asked. This includes questions from other parents as well, as this mom will not only direct her child as to what playground item to play on next, but will tell you and your child what to do as well. She knows, you know. She knows.

6) Superior-Mom -- "Mother Superior" in the true sense of the word, this mom is so much better than all of the other mothers at the park. After all, she's given her child organic, top-of-the-line, farm-grown dandelion leaves for lunch, unlike you. She is also going out of her way to make sure that her child wears only the best, most expensive, healthiest and synthetic-free clothing that was purchased at the leading natural clothing co-op, because she's doing her part for the environment, her child and the world, and you're not.

7) Passive-Aggressive Mom -- "No, do it this way, Darling," you'll hear her say, and often. This statement will then be followed by something like "You know that mommy will be so hurt if you fall down and break your collar bone! Mommy doesn't like having to go to the hospital with you all the time, even though she loves you so much! Mommy does everything she can for her sweet little boy, so please don't make Mommy upset!" Guilt and indirect shaming of the child are part and parcel of this mom's arsenal.

8) Food Issues-Mom -- You'll know this mom by the fact that she's following her kid around with a juice box, sandwich, pieces of cheese and veggie sticks with an extremely anxious and worried look on her face. She's convinced that her child is on the verge of starvation and that it's only a matter of time before he faints from malnourishment. Thankfully for him, her very large backpack is stuffed to the brim with supplies that are evidently required to fend off certain starvation that would have occurred for that one hour trip to the park.

9) Competitive-Mom -- This mom's child is better than your child and this mom will let you know it -- over and over and over again. Tell Competitive-Mom that your son hit a home run at his latest game and you will be quashed by stories of how this annoying parent's kid always hits home runs, not to mention the fact that her child is the team captain, MVP and hero of every kid's sporting team possible. "Insufferable" is an understatement in describing this parent; avoid and ignore her at all costs.

10) Kiddie-Mom -- It's often difficult to discern the difference between who's the mother and who's the child in this combo. Kiddie-Mom is reliving her obviously too-short childhood through the opportunities presented by her own children and doesn't care who is there to witness the debacle. Kiddie-Mom will swing higher than her child, bounce her daughter too hard on the see-saw (while she sits on one end of it, weighing four times her child's weight, just to make the drop down extra good) and will compete with her child on the monkey bars. She will also play tag with the other kids at the park and catch them really quickly when she's "It." This is because her legs are three times longer than the other children who are playing and she can easily grab a hold of the terrified kids who are trying to avoid her. Stay away from Kiddie-Mom. She may be the scariest archetype of all.

And yes, you can insert "Dad" in place of mom, though just not as often ;).

This post also appears at www.multiplemayhemmamma.com

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2952927 2013-03-26T12:02:05-04:00 2013-03-26T12:11:49-04:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/
The reality of being called "mom" or "dad" means that you're gonna have to bend the truth somewhat. And often. Sometimes the lie is to get your child to do something, like eat their dinner (yes -- it's magic broccoli!). Sometimes the lie is said to spare the child's feelings (you are an amazing artist! I love your artwork!). Sometimes the reason behind the lie is a lot more self-serving. Take, for example, the usual reasons why parents lie about something like how long it takes to get somewhere ("Yes, we're almost there!") or how much things are going to hurt ("No, that needle won't hurt that much at all!"). We do it to give ourselves some momentary time to experience peace and quiet, even if just for a very brief period of time. Because we all know, as parents, that these oases of peace are as fleeting as the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny.

The lies parents tell their kids range from the ridiculous to the sublime. These lies can range from a simple white lie to a real doozy. It's all just a matter of scale. Whatever it takes, right?

I've written about the lies kids tell their parents before but not the other way around. Parents should definitely get an honourable mention for the creative truths that they come up with, all for the purposes of subduing, placating, or otherwise calming down their children.

To this end, here are The Top 10 Lies Parents Tell Their Kids

1) Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny Need I say more?

2) "We're almost there!"-- Uttered on a road trip when three kids are one by one melting down in the back seat after repeatedly asking "are we there yet?" and not getting a satisfactory response.

3) "I love it! It's beautiful!" -- And into the recycling bin it goes. Yes, we love our kids' artwork but not every single piece. Like any artist, there are some good pieces and ones that are, well, not so good. Those ones are promptly disposed of, but not before a solid lie to the contrary is uttered.

4) "It won't take long" -- Uttered in the waiting room of the doctor/dentist/hospital emergency, usually during the time of a medical/dental crisis by your child -- think broken leg or collarbone, loose teeth as the result of a playground accident or a high fever.

5) "No, it won't hurt" -- Think dentist, needles, doctors appointments and general medical procedures. Chances are it will hurt, at least a little. While we're just delaying the inevitable -- pain and tears -- it's worth it...isn't it?

6)"It's delicious!" -- No, liver, Gorgonzola and brussels sprouts aren't really what are considered delicious foods but for the sake of getting protein and nutrients into my kid, I will say that they are.

7) "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you" -- Often uttered before some type of discipline; grounding, taking away a privilege, etc. No, actually it's going to hurt your kid more. Trust me on this.

8) "Looks don't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts" -- This may be a great philosophy to live by but unfortunately we live in a looks-obsessed culture where one's appearance does matter, as evidenced by the very good-looking non-talents who are successfully navigating fame and fortune.

9) The Cabbage Patch, The Stork and other creation myths -- Yes, our penchant for not coming to terms with explaining "the birds and the bees" to our kids has borne (pun intended) a whole roster of creation myths intended for young imaginations. Too bad the fantasy doesn't last forever and kids do finally figure out how things get done.

10) "You're beautiful and unique" -- Yes, you're unique -- just like everyone else ;) It's a hard lesson to learn but someone had to tell you.

See more at my blog.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2879540 2013-03-15T11:43:10-04:00 2013-05-15T05:12:01-04:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/ is that?

My mother is no different. Sure, there as a time -- a long time -- that I didn't believe her. After all, what did she know? She couldn't have any sound advice because she hadn't lived, at least not like I had. This was the delusion of my teenage mind.

It was only when I became a mother myself that I realized that my mom knew far more than I had given her credit for. The very sage advice from mom that I had previously ignored seemed to all of a sudden resonate with me. Yes -- I will tell anyone who listens that the old adage is true: Mom really does know best.

And throughout the years, the many tears, joys, disappointments and surprises, my mother has been right all along. She just knew that things would work out the way that they did. How could it be?

Perhaps the reality was that she had indeed experienced life, love and loss, and as a result, was able to provide advice on all of these subjects with authority.

Because only those who can say that they have truly "been there, done that" have the ability to give bang-on parenting advice -- and then some.

Only recently I realized that Mom's good advice had actually sunk in, and that I was following her words of wisdom. So true are these pearls of wisdom that I felt that it was only fair to pass on the intelligence to others.

1) No price? Don't bother asking -- If you go to a store and are admiring a beautiful item of clothing, trinket or home furnishing, look for the price-tag. If you don't see a price-tag, guess what? You likely can't afford the item. Products that are not labelled with a price are almost always much too expensive for the average Jane. By not pricing an item, the assumption is that "money is no object" and therefore, not necessary to scope out before making the decision to buy.

2) If you don't cover your neck you'll get a cold in your chest -- The human neck is an often ignored part of the anatomy. My mother is convinced that not covering your neck when it's even just slightly cool out will bring on a bout of a very bad cold. For years, I was convinced that my mother was obsessed with necks. This part of the body needed to be covered if the weather seemed to be even just a tad intemperate. Of course while I was a teenager I thought my mom was crazy, but as I've gotten older, I must admit that there's some truth to this. No scarf = a cold, some coughing and sometimes worse -- guaranteed. Now I always cover my neck.

3) Never show up at someone's home empty-handed -- It's rude, disrespectful and thoughtless. If someone has taken the time to invite you over, whether it's for a coffee or a full dinner, make sure to bring a token. It doesn't have to be expensive; it could be some flowers, a plant or a box of chocolates. The key is to show your appreciation for your host's efforts. A little thoughtfulness goes a long way.

4) Always make sure you can take care of yourself -- Unfortunately this is especially important for women because at the end of the day, women still make 77 cents to every dollar that a man makes. Coming from a family where hard work was prized above all, there was no excuse for laziness. At the end of the day, I learned from my mom that being self-reliant and independent is one of the best gifts that you can give yourself. Knowing that if push comes to shove, that you can take care of yourself and your kids on your own is empowering, and a lesson that all parents should teach to their kids.

5) Cut your losses and get out -- If a bad situation seems like it's rapidly becoming hopeless, end it. It's probably not worth any more of your time or emotional energy so get out while you can. This applies to relationships, work, school and all other life situations that can cause you great stress. This is particularly sage advice for teenagers hanging on to a hopeless relationship with a loser boyfriend.

6) Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself -- No one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them. So said my very smart mother and of course she was right. We teach people how to treat us, and if we accept bad behavior, that's what we'll keep receiving. Have some self-respect, treat yourself well and others will follow suit.

7) Get an education -- The importance of a good education was not lost on my parents and was imbued within us as early as was humanly possible. My mother always said that your world would be so much easier to navigate with an education. Schooling opens doors, no doubt about it and not getting an education would not have been accepted by my mother or father. Thankfully I listened and am glad I did. Chalk up another winner for Mom.

8) Whatever you do, do it well -- Following #7, do the best you can at whatever you do. My mother always said that it didn't matter what it was that you were doing; what mattered was that you were happy doing it, and that you were doing it to the best of your abilities. A lesson well-learned and always remembered. Don't do a half-hearted job; it's worse than not doing it at all.

9) Don't worry about it -- Really. Don't. It's not worth it, in the long run. No matter how much you think that the situation that you're in is the be-all and end-all of everything, you will very quickly learn that this is never really the case. Mom knew this and did her best to teach me this very important philosophy. After many, many years of stress, I think I'm finally learning. Variation on this theme: "Better days are ahead" (my mom always said this as well).

10) You can never be too kind -- "Kill them with kindness" was always one of my mom's favourite expressions. This is particularly the case when you're confronted with a truculent sort. They're usually thrown for a loop when you smile sweetly and respond positively to their crabbiness. Try it. It works.

I love you mom. And thanks.

This article originally appeared on www.multiplemayhemmamma.com

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2616596 2013-02-04T17:11:04-05:00 2013-04-06T05:12:01-04:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/
Now, you may have noticed that I didn't ask the question, "What if they don't want to play sports," because, for the most part, it doesn't really matter. Whether your child is the next Super Bowl star of more of the bookish type, the penchant for folks to ask "what sport will he/she be taking" won't diminish. It seems that the millennium has brought on the expectation that parents will automatically enrol their kids into their (the parents') sport of choice -- or else.

Once the domain of hockey parents and soccer moms alone, being a "sports parent" has extended beyond a specific few. Now, we expect children to be enrolled, engaged and excited about the opportunity to participate in our society's sports culture. Having a junior athlete is de rigueur amongst the parenting crowd these days.

Yet, like any cross-section of any large populous, children are no different. Children range in not only personality types but interests as well. And still it happens that sports as a pursuit is expected, regardless of a child's personal wishes.

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So what does this presupposition do to our kids, one has to wonder? For the children who have a propensity to kick that ball with vigour, for those would-be Beckhams, it's a win-win situation. The parents get to live out any vicarious fantasies that they may have, stemming from youthful sporting pursuits yet unrealized; the child gets to bask in the glory of the thrill of victory as well the gleam in their parents' eyes. The darker side to this reality, however, is the ongoing feelings of anxiety, stress and inadequacy felt by those children who may not have the desire or ability to become the next Olympic gold medal winner. For these children, just the mere spectre of competition within the athletic realm is enough to make them quake in their boots. This because all children are not created equal, despite all of us being told otherwise.

No, all children are not equal. Some of them are natural athletes, excelling at any given team or individual sport with ease. Some may have the artistic aplomb to become the next Picasso or Rembrandt, if given the nurturing, love and support required to succeed. It is these children of whom we should be particularly interested -- and concerned. Because as many children that there are realizing their dreams of achieving a magnificent touchdown and leading their team to victory, there are just as many kids as equally talented, but not within the sphere of sports. It is this group of children that need to be remembered, before they are signed up for an activity that has the ability to leave them quaking in their newly-purchased Nike running shoes.

For these are the children that bear the brunt of our desires, who are catapulted into a world that they dread to appease our own vicarious longings. It is this group of unfortunate young ones that have to walk the walk -- or run the track -- in order to satisfy their parents' expectations. Is this fair?

Ask any dad sitting in the stands at a hockey game why he's there. Ask any mother shouting encouragement to their daughter from the sidelines at the soccer game why she's there. Ask both of them whether or not they've gone into debt just to finance their dreams of fame and fortune for their child. The answer to the last question may be yes or no, however I guarantee that the answer to the first two will be the same: Because they want their child to learn about teamwork, excel at an activity and perhaps have fun in the process. That's right -- they want their child to do all of these things. It's often not the child's choice.

Stage parents and hockey parents: are there really any differences between the two? We loathe the stereotype of the pushy, self-serving "stage mom" yet we seem to have no problem at all with the parent who pushes their child to excel at sports at any cost. Why? Are we so enamoured, so inculcated with the idea of sports that we've lost our collective abilities to separate the wheat from the chaff?

Our culture reveres sports stars, elevating them to the status of heroes, often just because they've exhibited athletic prowess. While this feat may indeed be notable, is it really that important in the larger scheme of things? What does it say about us as a society when we pay athletes millions of dollars per year to hit or kick a ball around, yet charities continue to flounder due to lack of funds and support?

We tell our children to follow their dreams, that we will support them in anything they do and that they can be anything they want to be. Yet so many of us impose strict parameters on their extra-curricular activities if they don't involve sports. You see, art classes and piano lessons are all well and good, but don't even think about dropping out of Little League. No, that would be too traumatic for mom or dad.

And in these instances, the message that we're sending to our children is loud and clear: we want you to excel at sports, so you'd better do it. We want to see you become an athletic star, regardless of your interest (and often skill level). We want to finally realize that long-standing dream of hearing the roar of the crowds, experiencing the adoration of the fans and seeing the dollars on the bank statement, even if we didn't earn it. If it's for our kids, that's close enough, right?

"Do as I say, not as I do" is the message that we're teaching our children. This is a direct contradiction of the other messages that we tell them, that they can be anything that they want to be and that they should follow their dreams. Is this fair?

As much as we strive to be the loving and supportive mother and father that we would like to be, our more egotistical and narcissistic need for adulation too often supersedes any semblance of reason -- or fairness, for that matter.

Until we let go of our collective dreams of athletic super-stardom, of touchdowns and home runs, we will continue to negatively affect our children's psyches, despite our desire to do otherwise. So next time little Connor asks to take art lessons, hold your tongue, smile and run out and buy him a paint brush. You'll be glad that you did.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2432333 2013-01-08T12:04:36-05:00 2013-03-10T05:12:01-04:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/ Pinocchio's famous schnoz.

Perhaps it's their incredible cuteness that makes them so believable. Perhaps it's those big eyes, those dimples, that innocent look that gets you every time. You want to believe your kid but this nagging feeling that your child just may be telling you an untruth (or two) just won't go away. Believe your gut instincts, mom and dad, because you've been had. Your kids have lied to you successfully and gotten away with it to this point. Distressing to say the least considering that you really wanted to believe that a nocturnal monster absconded with that whole jar of cookies during the night while you were sleeping.

Anyway, every day's a new day, right? Just because you've been lied to by your child doesn't mean that it has to continue. No, you can beat them at their own game by learning the truth behind their most common deceptions. It's you against them when it comes to the truth. You're their parent, so you should win.

Top 10 Lies kids Tell Their parents

1) "I don't know" -- They probably do know but do you really think they're going to tell you? Since the outcome of doing so will clearly not be in their favour, they'll continue to plead ignorance.

2) "I didn't do it" -- If you're asking, they did do it. And you know it.

3) "My brother/sister/imaginary friend did it" -- Again, they -- your child -- did it. Deflecting the blame on a sibling is an easy out, especially if the sibling is much younger and not able to speak (think: baby).

4) "I finished my homework" -- If there's a really good TV show on that they want to watch, a play date with a favourite friend or the hope of playing around on the iPad for a number of hours, this is what they'll tell you.

5) "I ate my lunch (that you packed)" -- In reality, your kid gave it to their friend in exchange for the latest video game/hockey card/headband/bracelet, etc. They may have starved for the remainder of the day at school but heck, they really scored a deal!

6)"I feel sick" -- This statement is often precipitated by your child's realization that today might be a really good day to stay home from school and watch TV while being spoiled by their mother.

7) "I don't like you" -- Yes, this one is a perennial favourite among kids of all ages. It's meant to be a zinger that mom or dad can't bear. Funnily, parents often respond with "I don't care," or "I don't like you either."

8) "I need to go pee" -- Often part of a ruse perpetuated by younger children (ages 3-6) when you've just put them to bed. Realizing that they can stall just a bit longer, they swear that their bladders are full. You relent and let them get out of their beds to go to the washroom only to hear them laughing, playing and making a total mess.

9) "I'm going to listen/behave" -- The fact that they're saying this means that they've been warned incessantly (by you) about the importance of toeing the line. Unfortunately, they have no plan of listening or behaving.

10) "Johnny/Janie is allowed to!" -- You've told your child "no, absolutely not!" when they asked if they could jump off a bridge/get the latest iPhone/eat candy for dinner every night. They tell you that their friends are allowed to do whatever it is that you're telling them they can't in the hope that you'll capitulate. Apparently you should be easily swayed with the knowledge that other six-year-olds in your child's peer group are allowed to live out the "you only live once" philosophy and lifestyle. Don't buy it.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2381730 2012-12-31T12:24:31-05:00 2013-03-02T05:12:02-05:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/ excited anticipation. No, you are in a different stage of your life now. You are a parent of children. Young children. Ones that can't be left alone while you party hardy with your friends. New Year's Eve and kids are a combination that requires a bit more planning, some patience and perhaps -- just perhaps -- a tip of wine (or champagne).

Though it may seem this way as you approach December 31 with the family, all hope is not lost. There are things that you can do with the kids where you and the little ones can enjoy the celebration.

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1) Special Dinner -- It's the end of the year so celebrate! The kids will surely be in a celebratory mood so why not get them involved in cooking? Get some family-friendly recipes that the children can help you make (including baking a cake or cookies for dessert). Timing is everything: start the baking in the afternoon, the dinner preparation in early evening and sit down for a nice meal a bit later than normal. Do your New Year's Eve with the kids early if the children are on the younger side. If they're old enough to stay up late, let them. This night is not the night to insist that they follow their usual bedtime rules. It's New Year's Eve and staying up to see midnight is part of the fun, after all.

2) Games Tournament -- How about some old-school entertainment for the family? You can always turn off the TV or XBox and gather around the dining room table for a Monopoly championship. If your kids are old enough, consider playing this classic game as it is not only fun, but it takes time (at least a couple of hours) and will get them thinking and strategizing -- which is always a good thing. If the kids are on the younger end of the spectrum, card games are always a favourite, with Go Fish, Crazy Eights and Concentration as great games to keep the little ones occupied.

3) Movie Night -- How about a themed evening of entertainment? After the homemade dinner (see point #1), sit the family down to some old classics as well as some new faves. New Year's Eve can be a wonderful time for families to bond together over the dinner table (see above) and a good movie. As with anything, plan in advance and have your mix of movies ready to go for the big night. That way no time will be wasted deciding on a film that everyone will like.

4) City Festivals and Parties -- The dilemma of "what to do with the kids" has finally sunken in and now most cities have family-friendly activities and entertainment events planned. Whether it's at the city hall grounds, a popular park or similar landmark, for the most part, these fetes are free. Better yet, they are catered to both adults and children, so you'll be guaranteed to have activities that will be enjoyed by the whole family. If you're in a part of the world where it's cold on New Year's Eve, make sure to bundle up the kids so that frostbite doesn't ruin your night out. If you're in a warmer climate, what could be better than ringing in the new year on a beach, or somewhere outside, without a jacket?

5) Museums and Galleries -- Most cities have museums and art galleries that offer special new year events that are specifically geared towards families. Many of these locales offer kid-friendly parties, arts and crafts and live entertainment, often at a discounted rate. Best yet, they often start early in the evening and wrap up just in time to get the kids in bed so that you and your significant other can ring in the new year alone. Check your local listings and make a date with the family for December 31.

6) Family Party With Friends -- There's strength in numbers/surround yourself with like-minded people/misery loves company. Whatever the platitude, you can enjoy New Year's Eve. There are many, just like you, who are dealing with their kids and wondering how to entertain them on the last night of the year. How about a party -- with kids? One of the things that many adults miss when they become parents is the social aspect of getting out. This is often due to the lack of a babysitter, lack of funds or lack of energy. New Year's Eve is the perfect time to reconnect with friends -- those with kids -- who you may not have seen for some time. Invite them and the whole family over for a mini-party (if you don't want it to get too crazy) and get your groove on! Put some movies or music on for the kids, set up some games, have some goodies out, serve some easy buffet-style food (e.g. chili, pizza, etc.) and have fun! Just because you're a parent it doesn't mean that you can't have a good time.

New Year's Eve should be a celebration, mom and dad. With some simple planning you can have lots of fun ringing in the new year with the kids.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2244657 2012-12-06T10:48:42-05:00 2013-02-05T05:12:01-05:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/ the Mayan prophecy. Apparently, the world, as we know it, will come to an end. It's over, folks. It's the end of the world as we know it; I feel fine but many kids don't.

For the record, I do not believe the predictions and have given the hype surrounding this "prophecy" little thought, despite the doomsday prophets and naysayers best efforts. They really know how to spoil a party, don't they? NASA says it's not going to happen, so that's good enough for me, but apparently not for a legion of little children who are feeling that their world is going to come crashing down -- literally.

Sarcasm aside, all this talk about the world ending can't be good for our kids. As we approach "doomsday" and the hype surrounding it increases, one has to wonder what all of this nay-saying is doing to our children. While we may laugh it off or give it nary a thought, our kids could be quaking in their collective boots. And that's not good.

Children are fragile creatures in many ways, and despite their outward displays to the contrary, they can and are affected by pronouncements made by what they see as reputable sources, e.g. the media, TV, the Internet and their friends. Right or wrong, it is what it is, and if your child is socializing with other kids on any level, they have likely gotten wind of this "world ending" business in some form. I've heard from more than one parent that, with great anxiety, their kids have been asking questions. It's a real shame that children should even have to go through these feelings of fear due to media hype and other opportunistic channels.

The sun will come up on December 22, 2012, I'm pretty sure, but many children aren't as optimistic. For the parents who are dealing with their kids' anxiety and fear, here are six ways to navigate the (non-existent) storm that has come to be known as "Doomsday, 2012."

1) Talk it through -- Your child may be harboring many feelings of anxiety, fear and depression as a result of what they've heard about the impending date. One of the best things that you can do for them is to lend an ear and listen to their concerns about what they think is going to occur. Doing so will give you the opportunity to provide them with your point of view, as well as information about how this is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that people will be making these types of predictions. Having your child realize that this is not a one-time thing and that the "end of the world" scenarios are as old as the world itself may ease their fears and lessen their feelings of stress.

2) Comfort them -- Of course this seems obvious but it may not be for some of us who, as adults, don't give this prophecy much thought as we think it's a complete hoax. In our adult minds, we've decided that it's nonsense, but not so for a child who has not had the life experience and insight to come to this conclusion. For them, this scenario is likely petrifying, even if they don't show it outwardly. As with point #1, comforting your child should always be accompanied by talking through the child's fears and concerns until they feel reasonably comfortable with the outcome of the discussions.

3) Validate them -- Saying "Oh, don't worry about it, Honey -- everything is going to be fine" probably won't work. In your mind, you know better, but for a child, they need to have their fears and feelings validated through words and actions. For example, saying something along the lines of "I know that this must be really frightening for you," or "I understand why this type of information makes you feel scared" will give them comfort just for the fact that you're acknowledging their emotions. Having them know that you're doing your best to put yourself in their shoes will be a big step towards them overcoming their fears.

4) Reassure them -- One of your primary jobs as a parent is to protect your children and to provide them with a warm, safe place to land and reside. This is particularly the case in instances like this where they may feel that they have no control over the situation, and that the "inevitable" is going to occur. Be consistent in your assurances to them that nothing is going to happen on December 21, 2012, and that it is just another day on the calendar. Hearing this information from mom or dad goes so much further than hearing it from anyone else.

3) Give Them Facts -- It's been said that "the truth shall set you free," and never is this more true than now. Kids need facts in order for them to understand, process and release the irrational or unfounded fears that they may have. This is particularly the case with this 2012 scenario because, unfortunately, we're bombarded with "news" about how the Mayan Prophecy works, but not enough equally balanced information refuting it.

4) Enlist Help -- Two heads are better than one and in addition to your spouse, partner and close family, this is a really good time to engage others, such as your child's friends. With the support of their parents, of course, it might not be a bad idea to meet with other children and their parents to show your child that there are kids, like them, who are not feeling fearful about this particular "event." Children in particular, often look to their friends for signs about what is true or not, so being in the company of those (and their families) who are not worried or concerned about the coming date will likely help.

5) Go to the Pros -- Why not do some research with your kids to help them get a grasp on the unlikeliness of this "prophecy?" If they're old enough (this won't work as well with younger kids), it's probably not a bad idea to get online with your child and show them all of the information out there from reputable sources that refutes all of the hype and nonsense surrounding this date. December 21, 2012 is just another day, after all.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2219873 2012-12-04T07:03:26-05:00 2013-02-03T05:12:01-05:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/
Sure, in some instances extended family is the glue that holds everything together, from child care to support to finances and more. There's nothing like having grandma and grandpa step in and give mom and dad a well-needed break.

But what about discipline? Does the "village" paradigm still hold when it comes to this touchy subject?

How we choose to discipline our children -- or not -- is one of the few polarizing topics that divides parents like no other. Discipline, which could mean anything from a "time out" to, in some cases, corporal punishment, is an extremely personal aspect of parenting. It's one of those topics that has been formed in our psyche from the time we ourselves were children. From those of us who may have received a "spank" here and there to others who were the victims of full-on physical abuse to still others who were spared the rod (and apparently became spoiled in the process), it remains a touchy subject in more ways than one.

When children enter the picture, couples are forced to discuss how the little ones will be disciplined. Often a point of contention, it's not unusual for disagreements to ensue. After all, if one party believes that spanking is acceptable and the other party disagrees, what to do when the child misbehaves becomes a source of struggle. To spank or not to spank -- that is the question, and most people fall squarely on one side of the fence or the other. The ensuing discussions and potential disagreements are considerably magnified when taken to the public forum.

It's one thing trying to sort out the best course of action when it comes to correcting your child and teaching them right from wrong. But how do you feel about other people disciplining your child?

We've all been in situations where there's been a public display of bad behaviour by a little one. Whether it's in your local grocery store or supermarket, the park or the movie theatre, it's never pleasant. Seeing a child in the throes of a full-on meltdown is only less stressful than watching a parent who doesn't do anything to quell the situation. It's annoying in the least and agonizing at best for those who sit by and do nothing.

But what can be done? Is it alright to discipline other people's children? Spanking notwithstanding, is it ever OK to jump in and take the bull by the horns? Whether or not you agree or disagree with spanking or otherwise, the overarching issue of discipline is one that becomes acutely in focus during public displays of bad behaviour.

We've all been in situations where there's an uncomfortable silence that counters the screaming of an unhappy child at the store/park/playground/[insert locale here]. It's uncomfortable not only because of the child's screaming, but because many of us don't know what to do. We're often stultified against our better judgement that tells us that the offending child just needs a good talking to -- or worse. What stops us in our tracks? Is it our fear of repercussions from the child's parents or other strangers? Is it the fear that perhaps we're wrong in our desire to stop the child and perhaps we should just let nature take it's course? Or is it the fact that we are ourselves unsure of what is the correct course of discipline for this or any child that steps out of the boundaries of acceptable behaviour?

The issue of boundaries when it comes to other people's children is one that, in our society, is sacred. We're taught to not cross that line, and when in doubt don't. We err on the side of caution just to be on the safe side. Often against our better judgement.

Yet, in many parts of the world, the "village" philosophy continues as it extends to children in public spaces. In these cultures, the support of the community is what in turn makes the same community strong, and if that includes public discipline of others kids, so be it. So what about us? Have we lost our sense of responsibility to others, or are we just being smart and staying out of the fray?

I'll put myself on record by saying that while I've never harshly "disciplined" another parent's child in public, I have spoken to kids who are out of line where I felt was appropriate. Case in point: at the local playground, there's been more than one occasion where a child was acting up, e.g. hitting another child in the sandbox, grabbing toys out of others hands, etc. This was in view of either the parent being there or close by and not doing anything. In each instance, I was thanked by the parent for stepping in. That being said, I'm not foolish enough to believe that similar future outcomes should be so rosy. We're all touchy about our children and our "mama bear" claws come out when we feel that they are either being threatened, or boundaries are being crossed.

In a similar situation where my child was acting out of turn, I would have no problem if a parent accordingly stepped in and said something to my child, as long as it was done in an appropriate manner (I would not tolerate spanking). It takes a village indeed.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2166975 2012-11-20T17:48:16-05:00 2013-01-20T05:12:01-05:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/ should go, but often doesn't because of the age in which we live.

When it comes to discipline, many parents have taken a large step backwards, and technology is to blame. In this day and age of smart phone journalism, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook shares, parents have become wary and hesitant of punishing their children. The losers in this new world order? Our kids. Now that our every action and misstep can be recorded digitally to be played in perpetuity online, we are often reticent to discipline our children for worry about being caught on camera.

While the term "discipline" can take on many forms, you may be thinking that this new hesitancy pertains to physical punishment, or a good old spanking as it is sometimes called. Yet this is not the case. Parents are afraid to even raise their voices or say anything that is questioning of their child's behaviour, regardless of how bad, due to fear of being judged. Non-action as a parent seems to be the new normal.

How many times have we been in a public place and witnessed a child in the midst of a monumental meltdown? Without having to look too far, we've also seen a frazzled and stressed parent close by, often saying or doing nothing. The distinct look of embarrassment is clear on the face of this poor mother or father, yet they are clearly restrained in their response to situation at hand.

In previous times, the "spare the rod and spoil the child" philosophy would have been implemented on the spot, but not here and now in our age of reason. While I will say for the record that I believe that this is a good thing (there are alternatives to spanking), the choice to do nothing helps neither the parent nor the child in the situation. The parent has to deal with feelings of mortification because of her child's behaviour and the child has not learned the basic rules of how to behave in a public space. No one wins.

Is this hesitation to publicly scold or otherwise discipline our children representative of a generally more permissive society overall? How much does the fear of being judged, of the parents themselves being chastised and taken to task by observers factor in to whether or not mom and dad take action? Does the threat of being the next social media star to go "viral" -- and not in a good way -- stop a frustrated parent in their tracks, in spite of themselves? How about all of the above, with a particular emphasis on the social media angle? While we love our technology, we also fear it, as it has the ability to bring our downfall with a simple "like," "tweet" or "share."

In the classic sociology text The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (1959), Social Psychologist Erving Goffman popularized the concepts of "front stage" and "back stage." In the former, individuals behave in a certain manner when they believe they are being watched or judged (front stage); in the latter, an individual's true self and character is revealed when it is believed that no one is looking (back stage).

In situations where the question of whether children should be punished in public arises, it seems that all the world's a stage and all the mothers and fathers are merely players, whose actions at any moment can be recorded and uploaded to a willing audience in a matter of seconds. Not too appealing to any parent who has visions of their moment of weakness displayed forever on laptops, iPads and smart phones everywhere. This, to the detriment of their children.

As parents, our role is to teach our children right and wrong. We're obliged to educate them to differentiate between good and bad and how to behave accordingly. Technology notwithstanding, our responsibilities to raise our kids to have manners and to understand what is or is not appropriate behaviour should supersede any feelings of guilt or embarrassment, social media aside. Accordingly, let's do what's best for our children regardless of what others may think -- or record.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2156093 2012-11-19T17:11:01-05:00 2013-01-19T05:12:01-05:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/
He keeps me from raising my voice. He keeps my kids on their best behaviour. His spectre over the day-to-day insanity that is part and parcel of raising many kids is one that modifies the craziness, if only for a short period of time.

"He sees you when your sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake."

It is this mantra that evokes perhaps just a wee bit less whining, a touch more compliance and general good behaviour during the holiday season. Santa's a joy not only for kids, but for their parents as well. Santa, I toast you.

The fact that it is, for once, not mom and dad who are the final arbiters of whether or not a certain boy or girl has been good or bad, is a relief. It takes a load off, really. It doesn't matter if I agree or not that my kids' behaviors are unacceptable, it's Santa, after all, who is watching and taking notes. Actually, he's making a list and checking it twice, to be precise.

For maximum effectiveness, the use of Santa and his omnipresence is good for the window directly following Halloween until December 25 though the mention of Santa reaches it's peak efficacy between December 10th and 24th - the final two weeks before the big day. During this time, I enjoy the increased attentiveness, dearth of meltdowns and general calm that precedes Christmas day. OK, perhaps not calm, but less craziness, that's for sure. Even the littlest ones understand that Santa sees all, knows all and hears all, and aggregates such information in a final spreadsheet to determine who is and is not on the "good" or "bad" list. Funny how the young kids learn so early that this jolly man in a red velvet suit delivers presents to children around the world -- children who have been good, and who have been listening to their parents.

Other parenting tactics aside, the introduction of the all-knowing, all-seeing man in the bright red suit casts a whole new level of compliance that is savoured for that brief period leading up to Christmas. As it only comes once a year, it's definitely something to be savoured. Like Beaujolais.

Though there is some sarcasm that may be detected in this article, Santa Claus' presence is being regularly evoked these days, for the sake of my sanity. Mother of the year I'm not. What on earth will I do on December 26?

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2142523 2012-11-16T04:20:30-05:00 2013-01-15T05:12:01-05:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/
Il doit y avoir un gène qui se passe de génération en génération et fait que tout parent ressent le plus profond des plaisirs à énoncer certaines phrases à ses enfants comme un fait accompli. Maman ou papa l'a dit ; cela doit donc être fait. Or, il y a beaucoup de sous-entendus dans ces phrases que nombre d'entre nous disent à leurs enfants. En surface, elles sont assez claires et apparemment évidentes. Mais l'étonnante vérité est qu'elles ne le sont pas.

Ces perles de sagesse que les parents ont prononcé depuis des millénaires sont en fait bien plus complexes qu'on pourrait l'imaginer. La vérité est que la véritable signification de ces messages dits par les parents à leurs enfants est souvent moins évidente qu'elle n'en a l'air.

Ci-dessous, le top 10 de ces phrases et leur sens véritable.

1) "Cela me fait plus de mal qu'à toi": je vais te punir, te priver de sortie (dans certains cas), te donner une fessée ou encore te refuser quelque chose, et au plus profond de moi, je me sens vraiment coupable. En te disant que cela me fait plus de mal qu'à toi, je me libère de cette responsabilité ou je me décharge d'un peu de cette culpabilité qui pèse sur mes épaules.

2) "Tu vas te crever l'œil avec ce truc !". Je ne veux pas devoir gérer le festival de pleurs et la visite aux urgences qui ne manquera pas de suivre une fois que tu te seras planté dans l'œil cette fourchette ou tout autre objet pointu de ce genre.

3) "Je suis ta mère, je ne suis pas ton amie. Tu n'as pas le devoir de m'aimer". Encore une fois, la culpabilité montre sa vilaine tête durant les épreuves de notre quotidien de parents. Une décision a été prise que votre enfant va probablement détester, et vous vous sentez horriblement coupable. Vous savez que votre enfant sera fâché contre vous et dira à ses amis quelle mère horrible vous êtes. Au fond de vous, vous détestez l'idée de ne pas être la mère la plus appréciée du quartier mais vous devez faire bonne figure quoi qu'il se passe.

4) "Et si ton copain te disait de sauter d'un pont, tu le ferais aussi ?": T'es bête ou quoi ? tu penses que ton ami est formidable et tu es suspendu au moindre de ses faits et gestes. Ce que tu ne sais pas, c'est qu'il est bien trop intelligent pour sauter d'un pont mais j'ai bien peur que ce ne soit pas ton cas.

5) "La vie est injuste". Oui, tu aurais vraiment dû être choisie pour le rôle de la belle princesse dans la pièce de théâtre de l'école, mais malheureusement, ta meilleure amie a été jugée plus mignonne et plus intéressante que toi et c'est donc elle qui a été choisie. Fais-toi une raison, Bouton d'or.

6) "Personne n'a jamais dit que ce serait facile." Tu as probablement visé trop haut pour tes capacités et tes parents essaient gentiment de te le faire comprendre. A part soi, ils se demandent quand est-ce que tu vas comprendre la vérité et ils espèrent que ce sera bientôt.

7) "L'argent ne pousse pas sur les arbres, tu sais !" Je ne veux vraiment pas dépenser de l'argent sur ce jouet/jeu vidéo/vêtement à la mode/billet pour le concert de Justin Bieber ridiculement hors de prix et je te rappellerai en conséquence que je travaille pour dépenser la plupart de mes revenus pour toi.

8) "Mange tout ! Il y a des enfants affamés en Afrique qui adoreraient avoir ça comme repas !" J'ai dépensé trop d'argent avec cette nourriture pour te laisser jouer avec ton assiette et jeter ensuite son contenu à la poubelle. Tu vas manger ton repas, que tu le veuilles ou non.

9) "Fais ce que je dis, pas ce que je fais/ Parce que c'est comme ça" - variation sur le même thème. Voir le point n°5. Je n'ai pas vraiment d'explication rationnelle pour expliquer pourquoi je suis en contradiction totale avec tout ce que je t'ai dit de ne pas faire en le faisant moi-même. Cette phrase est ma porte de sortie.

10) "Je vais compter jusqu'à trois..." : je m'apprête à commettre un infanticide dans trois secondes si tu n'arrêtes pas de faire tout de suite ce que tu fais.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2146537 2012-11-16T04:20:30-05:00 2013-01-15T05:12:01-05:00

Samantha Kemp-Jackson http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-kempjackson/
Il doit y avoir un gène qui se passe de génération en génération et fait que tout parent ressent le plus profond des plaisirs à énoncer certaines phrases à ses enfants comme un fait accompli. Maman ou papa l'a dit ; cela doit donc être fait. Or, il y a beaucoup de sous-entendus dans ces phrases que nombre d'entre nous disent à leurs enfants. En surface, elles sont assez claires et apparemment évidentes. Mais l'étonnante vérité est qu'elles ne le sont pas.

Ces perles de sagesse que les parents ont prononcé depuis des millénaires sont en fait bien plus complexes qu'on pourrait l'imaginer. La vérité est que la véritable signification de ces messages dits par les parents à leurs enfants est souvent moins évidente qu'elle n'en a l'air.

Ci-dessous, le top 10 de ces phrases et leur sens véritable.

1) "Cela me fait plus de mal qu'à toi": je vais te punir, te priver de sortie (dans certains cas), te donner une fessée ou encore te refuser quelque chose, et au plus profond de moi, je me sens vraiment coupable. En te disant que cela me fait plus de mal qu'à toi, je me libère de cette responsabilité ou je me décharge d'un peu de cette culpabilité qui pèse sur mes épaules.

2) "Tu vas te crever l'œil avec ce truc !". Je ne veux pas devoir gérer le festival de pleurs et la visite aux urgences qui ne manquera pas de suivre une fois que tu te seras planté dans l'œil cette fourchette ou tout autre objet pointu de ce genre.

3) "Je suis ta mère, je ne suis pas ton amie. Tu n'as pas le devoir de m'aimer". Encore une fois, la culpabilité montre sa vilaine tête durant les épreuves de notre quotidien de parents. Une décision a été prise que votre enfant va probablement détester, et vous vous sentez horriblement coupable. Vous savez que votre enfant sera fâché contre vous et dira à ses amis quelle mère horrible vous êtes. Au fond de vous, vous détestez l'idée de ne pas être la mère la plus appréciée du quartier mais vous devez faire bonne figure quoi qu'il se passe.

4) "Et si ton copain te disait de sauter d'un pont, tu le ferais aussi ?": T'es bête ou quoi ? tu penses que ton ami est formidable et tu es suspendu au moindre de ses faits et gestes. Ce que tu ne sais pas, c'est qu'il est bien trop intelligent pour sauter d'un pont mais j'ai bien peur que ce ne soit pas ton cas.

5) "La vie est injuste". Oui, tu aurais vraiment dû être choisie pour le rôle de la belle princesse dans la pièce de théâtre de l'école, mais malheureusement, ta meilleure amie a été jugée plus mignonne et plus intéressante que toi et c'est donc elle qui a été choisie. Fais-toi une raison, Bouton d'or.

6) "Personne n'a jamais dit que ce serait facile." Tu as probablement visé trop haut pour tes capacités et tes parents essaient gentiment de te le faire comprendre. A part soi, ils se demandent quand est-ce que tu vas comprendre la vérité et ils espèrent que ce sera bientôt.

7) "L'argent ne pousse pas sur les arbres, tu sais !" Je ne veux vraiment pas dépenser de l'argent sur ce jouet/jeu vidéo/vêtement à la mode/billet pour le concert de Justin Bieber ridiculement hors de prix et je te rappellerai en conséquence que je travaille pour dépenser la plupart de mes revenus pour toi.

8) "Mange tout ! Il y a des enfants affamés en Afrique qui adoreraient avoir ça comme repas !" J'ai dépensé trop d'argent avec cette nourriture pour te laisser jouer avec ton assiette et jeter ensuite son contenu à la poubelle. Tu vas manger ton repas, que tu le veuilles ou non.

9) "Fais ce que je dis, pas ce que je fais/ Parce que c'est comme ça" - variation sur le même thème. Voir le point n°5. Je n'ai pas vraiment d'explication rationnelle pour expliquer pourquoi je suis en contradiction totale avec tout ce que je t'ai dit de ne pas faire en le faisant moi-même. Cette phrase est ma porte de sortie.

10) "Je vais compter jusqu'à trois..." : je m'apprête à commettre un infanticide dans trois secondes si tu n'arrêtes pas de faire tout de suite ce que tu fais.]]>