29Secrets2013-05-20T23:49:32-04:0029Secretshttp://www.huffingtonpost.ca/author/index.php?author=secretsCopyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc.HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for 29SecretsGood old fashioned elbow grease.Five Mother's Day Gifts from the Hearttag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.32249312013-05-07T11:39:25-04:002013-05-07T12:27:47-04:0029Secretshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/secrets/Mother's Day, we have the chance to offer a small token of our appreciation and to give back to our selfless and loving mamas.
Although it's hard to give a gift to the person who has given you everything, here are some gift ideas that are guaranteed to bring a smile to your mother's face:
1. Make your memories into a presentation
A box of memories, a collage, a photo book, or all three of these things if you have time. Collect any photos, ticket stubs or other types of significant memorabilia (and or little figurines or objects that have symbolic significance) and put them into the box or album. Decorate the front cover with photos of your mom and you, when you were a child.
2. Spa day
Get her a certificate for a massage, a mani-pedi and any other treatments that might tickle her fancy. This is her day, so she should feel as good as possible. What better way to reward her for all her incredible hard work than to treat her to a day at the spa?
3. Get her (or make) an at-home spa kit
Creating some homemade scrubs and bath products will help keep you on a budget and also show mom that you put in the effort to make her happy. To make her heart shaped soaps, check out this recipe and to make a homemade body scrub.
4.Give her a crafted journal
Make her a personalized journal. Use photo corners to fix a special photo of your mom , or your mom and you on the front cover. For a special touch write short blurbs of quotes about mothers, and/or expressions she likes or perhaps short blurbs of memories you've had together on part of the page.
5. Plan a get a way just for her
Where is somewhere she has always wanted to go to but never has the time? Book a hotel and have a fun overnight away together. As we get older, we have less time to visit with our parents, so some nice quality time would be a wonderful way to spend this May 12. Bring magazines, movies, nail polish and other fun things for your "sleepover" party with mom.
This article was written by Andrea Pare for 29Secrets.com
]]>Survey Says, Half of Us Lie on First Datestag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.31647162013-04-26T18:10:54-04:002013-04-26T18:11:09-04:0029Secretshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/secrets/Zoosk.com survey. Whether it's your age, salary, or hair colour, are some truths just too compromising to tell the people we're trying to impress?
Romance Expert Lida Elias believes telling the truth is important if you want your relationship to go places. "A relationship built on deception can never truly flourish," she says. "Your partner should love you and want to be with you because of who you are, regardless of your past. If your partner does not stick around once they learn about your past, they probably were not right for you in the first place."
If you've ever made the mistake of blurting out a personal tidbit on one of the first few dates, you know that there's such a thing as too much honesty, too soon. So how much do you tell, and how do you know when to tell it? Elias offers two pointers: don't reveal too much too soon, and choose your words carefully before you speak.
"There are certain things that should be shared and discussed slowly as your relationship progresses from casual to more serious," says Elias. "If you want to say something that you don't think will be received positively by your partner, keep it to yourself until you find a better way of expressing it that does not sound like negative criticism."
As for the little white lies, they're probably fine. After all, food or sports team preference really aren't what your relationship is built on. But the big ones, let them out. You owe it to your relationship.
This article was written by Kait Fowlie for 29Secrets.com
]]>10 Things Men Do That We Don't Understandtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.29160302013-04-08T15:48:37-04:002013-04-08T15:48:39-04:0029Secretshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/secrets/
We'll gladly accept personal theories on any of the following. Warning: ridiculously sweeping generalizations follow. Certainly these don't apply to all men. Only the ones who baffle us the most.
1. How horrified they get at the mention of "period." Sure, it's unpleasant, but it's an undeniable fact of life. Why do some men react with sheer horror? What are they really afraid of? Is it really that gross to hear about a period? For the record, PMS isn't a myth. Haywire hormones are a totally valid reason for being moody once a month. We don't choose it, we don't control it. We're not happy about it either.
2. Cat calling. Do they expect you to chase down their car and give them your number? It can be flattering sometimes, but really, what's the point of the cat call?
3. Their heightened sense of responsibility over how drunk you get. Ever partied with a group of guys and get a text the next day saying "sorry I got you so drunk last night"? No one "gets you drunk." You do it yourself.
4. Their sheer surprise to hear you swear. Ladylike language is for the early stages of dating. Everyone needs to use the F bomb sometimes.
5. Prolonged bathroom time. It's a seldom noted fact that men often take even longer than women to get ready. What do men have to do in the shower? Shaving aside, how can their getting-ready process take up to half an hour?
6. Breast fascination. Men seem to believe that if they had breasts, they would "play with them all day." This means that squeezing ours is a source of endless amusement.
7. Being emo when they're sick. When you're around, they're dying. Around their friends, they seem to be able to muster the strength to put on a stoic mask.
8. The need to fix things. Its great to know a handy guy. But why dedicate an entire day to a plumbing issue when you could just leave the house and do something else while a plumber fixes it? We'd rather just get on with our lives! Calling a pro to do it isn't even a matter of being able to get the job done better, it's just more efficient.
9. The sandwich obsession. Sandwiches are great and all -- they're tasty, simple and cheap, we get it. But what's with the obsession with us making them for them?
10. The BBQ obsession. Why do men make a whole night out of standing around watching meat on a barbecue? It's like meat is a symbol of manliness and guarding it from female hands will protect their masculinity. The efforts to keep rituals like this "sacred" that is, limited to men, is just so weird.
Related Articles:
- 5 Things You Should Never Tell Your Man
- 3 Things Guys Wish You Understood
- Signs He's Wrong For You]]>Signs You're in the Wrong Careertag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.30299052013-04-08T08:13:06-04:002013-04-07T23:10:07-04:0029Secretshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/secrets/dissatisfaction at work, but how do you know it's something that's negatively impacting your life, and that you are ready to jump ship?
QUITTING
The thought of quitting is stressful and we all know that it can disrupt your career and personal life. But staying in an unhappy situation can be far worse! Don't stay put because it's "easy." If you're in a mismatched career or role, watch for the signals:
1) RESENTMENT & CONSTANT FRUSTRATION
You keep telling yourself that you'll quit, but you never do. This is a sign that you are not fully satisfied with your current role and this series of "false starts"** is a symptom of something much bigger. Be honest, are you frustrated on a daily basis? Do you resent your teammates or boss? If so, don't allow risk-aversion scare you from pursuing an uncharted path or start a new career.
2) HEALTH, ANXIETY, STRESS
Stress, anxiety, depression are more common than ever. Workplace stress can manifest itself in many ways. Early in my career, my job was giving me anxiety, insomnia and had me at the brink of tears in the office. Fortunately, I was able to learn techniques to cope with the stress (breathing exercises, therapy) and I learned that my health was a symptom of stress as opposed to the job itself! It is possible that your workplace environment is toxic and leading to health issues. If this is the case, is the current situation fixable?
3) NO CHANCE FOR CAREER DEVELOPMENT
Are you stuck in a dead-end job? Is there a way to grow and improve, professional or personally? Before you consider quitting, do you see career potential in your organization? Perhaps there are roles within the organization, or there is a need that you can fill in a role that doesn't exist yet. Try to see if there are options from where you stand before you throw the baby out with the bathwater.
DOs:
- Try to see if your current situation is fixable
- Have some sense of what you want to do next before your quit
- Ultimately, there is no such thing as the "perfect" job -- take things with the highs and lows, just make sure the highs out weigh the low
- If you leave, leave as gracefully as you entered. Disengage in a respectful manner
Related Articles:
- 5 Job Interview Tips You Need to Know
- Easy, All Natural Solutions for Insomnia
- Why You Should Keep a Dream Journal]]>Size Matters! Why You Should Know Your Measurementstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.29641942013-03-28T08:44:57-04:002013-03-28T08:44:56-04:0029Secretshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/secrets/bra shopping -- like an adult. I went to a lingerie store, I got measured like a grown-up, and I found a bra that fit. Then, I bought it. And guys, my life changed for the better.
I hope this isn't over-share. I only mention it because after actually learning my measurements did I realize that clothes can actually fit better, and you don't necessarily need underwire to be coming out of your pilling, misshapen bra from high school. THERE IS A BETTER WAY. We don't have to live like this! Freedom. Just like they said in Braveheart. So here's how to tackle your measurements and begin living, as Oprah says, your best life.
Obviously this is what she was referring to. Clearly.
1. Bra size
I'm going to be honest: don't try this at home. I mean, you can, but why? Professionals won't make you undress in public (I got my bra measurements done wearing a light sundress), they know what they're doing, and they won't force you to buy anything. They also know what to look for, and can help guide you to a bra that fits. And I will be honest: a good-fitting bra makes all the difference. You stand up straighter, your clothes fit better, and you won't want to hurl your bra into the sea in a fit of defiance.
You might not also believe the size difference if you attempt to tackle those measurements solo. I, to be honest, went in thinking I was a B36, only to discover I was two letters past that and probably had been for years. Yes, it blew my mind. Yes, I re-evaluated everything I owned. Yes, I bought new bras, and now my dresses fit like they're supposed to. Miracles happen if you just believe.
2. Bust size
A-ha! Now here's a difference. Contrary to popular belief, "measurements" don't include your band size -- they include your bust size. So when you're on Etsy and see dress measurements, these include the widest part around your chest(if you just go with your band measurement, you'll find yourself in the type of predicament I was in when I ordered a bridesmaid dress and was horribly, horribly surprised.)
So take a tape measure, and wrap it around the largest part of your chest, and measure. Write that number down -- hello, bust size.
3. Waist size
Also a thing! (I didn't know this until I began ordering online.) In this case, these are not your hips, and this is not your stomach -- this is, if you're looking at yourself in the mirror, the narrowest part of your figure. The hourglass, if you will. So, like you did with your bust, wrap the tape around yourself, and write that number down. Behold: your waist size.
4. Hip size
The trifecta is almost complete! Though this one can be a little tricky. Hips can sometimes be mistaken for thighs or even the waist (which I say because I have done that), so make sure you're measuring the widest part of your hips, or your shape if you're looking at your figure head-on. If you're not sure, head to a tailor just to confirm, since wrong hip size and can make or break a lot of outfits.
And mission accomplished. You can order online, buy dresses with confidence, and sleep soundly knowing you can get underwear and clothes that fit. We did it, everyone. Together.
]]>Fashion Dos and Don'ts From HBO's "Girls"tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.28694832013-03-15T08:15:59-04:002013-05-15T05:12:01-04:0029Secretshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/secrets/HBO series Girls follows the lives of four friends in NYC -- an aspiring writer, an uptight idealist, a free spirited nomad and a regular Polly Anna -- Sex and the City it is not. You won't find the glossy, high fashion or glamour we all loved in SATC, and you will never, ever catch the would-be Carrie Bradshaw, Hannah Horvath, lusting over a $400+ pair of strappy Manolo Blahniks. The clothes, for the most part, are about as real, raw and awkward as the dialogue, which makes for some pretty interesting style choices. Here's what we've learned so far from this fresh, new group of 20-somethings as they try to figure it all out -- including what to wear:
DO: Look so effortlessly hip you make people sick
When the worldly Jessa Johansson makes her onscreen style debut in an earth-toned hat and a soft, velvet blazer, it's like she might as well have stepped right out of an Urban Outfitters catalogue. In the words of a shocked Shoshanna, Jessa looks "so hip I could puke." Some (OK, most) girls just can't quite pull off that hipster-chic, boho thing, but Jessa's got it right down to the appropriately weathered Louis Vuitton luggage. While her outfit screams fashion, it also looks like it's effortlessly thrown together from a random pile of lucky vintage shop finds.
DON'T: Overdo the hybrid thing
While Jessa has her own sense of style down, Hannah Horvath, the self-proclaimed "voice of a generation," is all over the place. Case in point: more than once, instead of opting to pair a cute top with a figure-flattering pair of shorts, she goes for the ease of a two-in-one. The result? An ongoing love affair with what she calls "shorteralls." While the romper, or onesie, CAN work, Hannah's attempts are often a too small, overall unflattering, bra strap revealing, frumpy, diaper-like mess. Much like when it comes to her approach to life, when Hannah rifles through her closet, she seems to have the best of intentions, but is at a loss as to how and where to start.
DO: Look amaze when you take that party by storm
Staying true to her preppy, girly roots (think Juicy Couture velour tracksuits, headbands and plenty of bows), the deflowered -- but NOT devalued -- Shoshanna Shapiro makes her entrance at Hannah's dinner party with her own, perfectly coiffed, ladylike version of "I am woman, hear me roar." Prim in pastel, the scorned Shosh channels an ice cream hued old Hollywood heroine -- the perfect outfit for arguing about emojis. Here, what may look ridiculous on any of the other Girls, suits bright-eyed Shoshonna just fine, and you believe that that dress definitely belongs in her tween-inspired closet.
NEVER: Wear a mesh top sans bra (ever)
Even if it's a Wednesday night, and you're alive, and want to celebrate that fact in a place outside of your comfort zone... just don't do it. While Hannah's fashion fumble was a clearly misguided dance-floor trade for a sweaty stranger's electric yellow mesh tank, and her original outfit (Elijah's "power-clashing" combo of ill-fitting mismatched fruit print separates) weren't too maj, that's still no excuse to full-on show your ta-tas in public. Like, on the streets of New York PUBLIC. If you must with the mesh, keep it PG. Nudity is always a no. You want to turn heads, but not for THAT reason, right? Marnie's, "WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!" really says it all.
DO: Look hot when you get fired (or, "downsized")
So, Marnie, not-a-strand-out-of-place Michaels, goes to lunch with her boss from her cool, grown-up art gallery job and gets casually fired. Like, as in her boss forgot to tell her over the lunch -- which was arranged especially for the firing -- kind of casual. Being thrown an unexpected blow like that is hard, and you'd probably want to be at least dressed for it, right? Think about it, no matter how dishevelled you feel inside, at least you'll still look kind of together. In true Marnie-form, the freshly jobless 20-something looks sophisticated, meticulously groomed and maybe even a little over-dressed in an amazing, basic purple sheath, and takes that bad news like Rocky dressed in couture.
DON'T: Go for see-through when you'll be around children
Free-spirited Jessa lands a nanny job, so obviously her first day outfit is a floor-length, billowy, COMPLETELY SHEER white dress that more or less exposes her neon pink bra and thong, and um, every body part (including her belly button, as Shosh points out). While Jessa may be gorgeous, and "very current," basically flashing children is not cool. Even her half-hearted attempt at covering up via an oversized shawl, ever so casually falling off her shoulders, doesn't save this R-rated disaster. Try a slip, or you know, not a dress that makes it look like you might as well not be wearing a dress.
DO: make an impromptu mid-party change if you're not feeling it
So you're playing hostess at your own party, and look down at your dress and decide you don't want to wear it because it makes you feel like a "stupid, sailor nun." That's OK, and it's also totally OK to make a quick dash to your bedroom to swap it for something a little more flattering and less matronly, peter-pan collared and '90s wallpaper print-inspired. Hey, you want to be comfortable while you're juggling all the drama between your gay roommate and his older boyfriend while your ex-roomie slash best friend has an awkward run-in with her ex and his new bitchy, pint-sized girlfriend.
Related Stories:
- Fashion Trends that Men Hate
- Q&A: Celebrity Stylist Jennifer Rade
- Backstage Beauty at New York Fashion Week]]>Stars Before They Were Fashion Iconstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.28120532013-03-06T08:11:59-05:002013-05-06T05:12:01-04:0029Secretshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/secrets/favourite fashion icons looked before they were the A-listers they are today? Before stylists, designer collaborations and fragrance deals?
These ladies were always beautiful, but with time and experience, they've turned into the most stylish women in Hollywood. The transformations will shock you.
Check out these celebrities now and then:
Sarah Jessica Parker
Now: SJP at the I Don't Know How She Does It photocall in London, looking absolutely fabulous.
Then: Sarah Jessica Parker at the 2001 Golden Globes with blonde straight hair and an ill-fitting gown. Oh no!
Rihanna
Now: Riri was stunning in her custom red Azzedine Alaia gown at the 2013 Grammy Awards.
Then: Rihanna was working it on stage during a 2006 concert. Not much going on under that jacket!
Anne Hathaway
Now: Anne Hathaway had a major fashion moment at the New York premiere of Les Miserables on December 10, 2012.
Then: Here on the red carpet for the premiere of The Princess Diaries in Hollwood in 2001, Anne is almost unrecognizable.
Jennifer Lopez
Now: Jennifer Lopez made our jaws drop at the 2013 Grammy Awards. Look at that leg!
Then: JLO at the 1999 Teen Choice Awards before she was one of the world's top style icons.
Gwyneth Paltrow
Now: The almighty G shows us her six-pack at the 2013 Emmy Awards.
Then: Gwyneth Paltrow looked so humble and innocent at the Screen Actors Guild Awards in 1999.
Beyonce
Now: Beyonce shows off her sleek and sophisticated style in pants at the 2013 Grammy Awards.
Then: Beyonce looked like a fairy-tale princess at the 60th Annual Golden Globes back in 2003.
Blake Lively
Now: Blake Lively at the world premiere of her film Savages in Los Angeles on June 26, 2012.
Then: Rewind seven years, Bake Lively was fresh-faced at the world premiere of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, her first movie role and red carpet ever in Los Angeles on May 31, 2005.
]]>How to Boost Your Partner's Sexual Confidencetag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.27896922013-03-01T17:40:37-05:002013-05-01T05:12:01-04:0029Secretshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/secrets/confident in his sexual abilities, he'll be more uninhibited in showing you his love. Boosting his sexual confidence will actually boost yours too. Here's how to give him the attention and praise he needs.
Be vocal. You don't have to talk dirty, but making it evident that you're enjoying yourself during sex will let him know he's pleasing you. Encourage him during sex, whether it's by simply saying "right there" or "yes" or even heavy breathing. If you're completely quiet and still, he'll wonder what you're thinking, which could make him self-conscious and lead to performance anxiety.
Have constructive conversations about sex. Nothing is worse than something awkward happening in bed then no one saying anything afterward. The key to a great sex life is communication. Being open about what you like and what you don't will enable him to feel more confident about his ability to please you. Be honest and uninhibited when telling him what you think he's great at. When talking about the things you don't like, start your sentences with "I feel" rather than "you never" or "you always". For example, "I don't like this position because it makes me feel insecure about my thighs / butt / hips and I can't focus on enjoying myself."
Handle awkward situations with grace. If he loses his erection, don't just assume he's nervous - this will make him feel even more inadequate. Instead, tell him that to you, the goal of sex isn't to orgasm every time, but that you enjoy every part of it -- touching his body, him touching you, etc. Take a break and do that for a while. This may take the pressure off so you can work your way up to sex. If it's a recurring problem, talk about it outside the bedroom. Reassure him that he can be open with you about anything and everything. Articulate that you're on his side, and you're not interested in judging him, but helping him in any way you can. Good sex is a team effort, after all.
Reaffirm your love for him outside the bedroom. Be generous in giving him your love. Don't be worried about appearing clingy or too full on. This is your partner -- he needs to hear, regularly, that you're every bit as into him as you were when you first hooked up. Men tend to respond to actions more so than words, so show him your love with a random act of kindness every once in a while. Massage, anyone?
]]>Why Fighting Can Make Your Relationship Bettertag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.27835182013-03-01T08:43:06-05:002013-05-01T05:12:01-04:0029Secretshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/secrets/ honeymoon phase is officially over and you've reached that dreaded relationship milestone: you just had your first big fight. While butting heads with the guy you love is something you'd probably like to avoid, a good old-fashioned argument can actually be a healthy thing. Unless you're fighting non-stop, hurling insults and then going days without even a text (much less a resolution), the occasional tiff can do more for your relationship than simply keeping your mouth shut. Here's why jumping into the ring with your guy (not literally -- we don't recommend that) can make you closer, and happier in the long run:
It Clears the Air
As long as you're actually listening to what the other is saying, and not trying to yell over each other, talking things out and dealing with differences can be kind of like relationship therapy. By getting it off your chest and out in the open, you'll stop little things from festering and growing and then exploding one day over something tiny (like the annoying way he chews his Cheerios). Think of yourself as a volcano -- holding everything in is really not the best move for either of you.
It's Productive
Everyone knows that communication is key in any relationship. You can't date someone (and keep dating them) without knowing each other's limits. Your man needs to know about the things he does that you don't appreciate and you need to know what you do that isn't cool with him. Even if it's something small, like an innocent comment taken the wrong way, anything that ruffles any feathers needs to be addressed. It isn't about changing who you are, it's about being considerate, and working together to make things the best they can be.
It Builds Trust
When a couple never fights, it doesn't mean that they have some perfect, harmonious thing going -- more than likely, someone is just too scared to say how they really feel. If you're comfortable enough to let your man in on what's going on in your head (and vice-versa), you can say hello to a much deeper, more meaningful relationship. You really don't want to be "walking on eggshells," feeling ignored, disrespected and unable to tell each other what bothers you.
It Gets Better
Don't ever expect to stop arguing altogether, because, let's face it, there will be also something you'll disagree on, but learning to iron out any problems as they come up can help change the way you fight in the long run. With practice, you'll know how to tackle these little tiffs in a much kinder and easier way (this means leaving the whole childish name-calling, blaming, sarcastic behaviour out of it). As long as you have respect for each other and genuinely want to work things out, you'll be able to get past any bump in the road, no matter how big or small -- and that's a great feeling (and let's be honest, the make-up sex doesn't hurt either).
