profile image

Marcia Sirota

Author, speaker, coach and MD

Marcia Sirota is an author, speaker, coach and psychiatrist. She's the founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute, whose mandate is to help people have better relationships, be happier and create good habits.
flickr: macisaguy

Six Ways To Eliminate Your "Inner Critic"

You might be one of those people walking around today with an extremely negative voice in your head. It's the voice that tells you what you "should" and "shouldn't" do; it makes you feel stupid, small, awkward and inept; blaming you for the things that go wrong in your life and refusing to give you credit for your accomplishments.
07/23/2012 02:48 EDT
Alamy

Why It's Impossible to be "In Control"

The other day, one of my patients described herself as a "control freak," and an unhappy one at that. Certainly, she's not the first person I've worked with who's been frustrated in their attempts to be "in control," but it always saddens me to see someone wasting her time on something that's neither possible nor necessary.
07/04/2012 04:24 EDT
Shutterstock

Relationship Woes? Maybe You're Making One of These Mistakes

There are three common relationship mistakes that many of us make, which can get in the way of our happiness and success in love. Understanding what these mistakes are and why we're prone to making them can help us learn to avoid them in the future. If we recognize and let go of these, we're likely to have a lot more success in our current and future relationships.
06/27/2012 02:28 EDT
alamy

How to Stop Being an Angry Person

Anger that's being denied festers inside you like an unhealed wound. The pain you feel as a result of this buried emotion causes you to have one of two reactions: either you become overly nice and pleasing, in reaction against the anger bubbling up inside you, or you become irritable or surly, defensive or hostile.
02/27/2012 11:08 EST
Thinkstock

How to Survive Being Dumped

Being dumped can bring up a lot of self-doubt. You could start thinking that you're too fat or too scrawny; that you talk too much, or you're too quiet. All of these things are possible, but more than likely, the reasons that you were dumped were about the other person and not you.
02/22/2012 02:31 EST

10 Good Habits to Cultivate in 2012

You create a lot of unhappiness for yourself out of your impatience. Why not give yourself a break, enjoy the present moment and have more reasonable, realistic expectations of how long things should take? You'll be much happier, less anxious and more competent if you do this.
12/30/2011 09:07 EST
Getty Images

10 Bad Habits to Let Go of in 2012

No matter how curious you are about what your ex is up to, there's never any good that can come out of scrolling through his/her Facebook page. Let go of this bad habit and let go of the ex so that you can move on to better things.
12/29/2011 08:58 EST

The 12 Elements of Emotional Intelligence

Intellect can be measured by standardized IQ tests, but there's no actual measure of what I call the "EQ," or Emotional Quotient. Practicing the following elements will enable you to boost your EQ and improve your life.
11/15/2011 09:13 EST

What Men and Women Really Want in Love (and How to Get it)

Men and women have needs that are specific to their gender. What we want from our partners isn't necessarily what they want from us. Men and women communicate differently and we must tailor the way we express ourselves to suit these differences.
11/08/2011 09:32 EST

When to Un-Friend an Old Friend

Whether it's because you've grown apart because you no longer share the same values or lifestyle, or because you realize that the friendship isn't giving you what you need (and maybe never did), it's time to un-friend this person.
11/01/2011 09:43 EDT

How to Deal With Bullies

There will always be people who are jealous or resentful of your success. They're spiteful people who begrudge you the pride you have in yourself and the recognition you're receiving from others. They can't stand it that you're happy, fulfilled and achieving your goals.
10/18/2011 09:35 EDT

How to Say "No" to Bad Behaviour

Lately, my patient Lisa has been disappointed with her boyfriend Dennis, whom she describes as usually very supportive. Something happened that put Dennis and his family into clearer perspective. Den...
10/13/2011 09:48 EDT
Thinkstock

Relationship Advice: When to Break Up

If one or more deal breakers are present in your relationship, you'll have to see whether it's possible for you partner to stop what they're doing immediately. There's no point in waiting for them to change. You've already been tolerating the intolerable.
10/11/2011 11:03 EDT

To Forgive or Not to Forgive?

If someone has to force themselves to forgive in order to meet someone else's expectations, they'll be more tormented than if they'd held onto their hurt. A better solution would be to learn how to let go.
10/06/2011 03:12 EDT

20 Steps to Genuine Happiness

When we're clear about where to find happiness, we can make the kinds of choices that will maximize our chances of having more of it. Here's a list of ingredients that you can combine in your own way to move toward greater happiness.
10/03/2011 09:13 EDT
Thinkstock

The Real Reason Why People Cheat

It's too easy to say that people cheat because they're unhappy in their marriage. I've observed that there are a number of reasons why people cheat, and these have everything to do with the character of the person cheating.
09/29/2011 09:16 EDT

How to Talk to Your Friends About Your Feelings

A few pointers on how to go about the scary business of confrontation: Most importantly, start by being affirming. Let your friend know how much you value the relationship, and that this is why you're sharing your concerns.
09/26/2011 01:27 EDT
Getty

Reality Television Is Rotting Your Brain

Maybe some people like to feel superior by laughing at the characters on these shows, but by choosing to waste their time on such drivel, they inadvertently demonstrate their own lack of discernment.
09/21/2011 08:34 EDT

Stop Taking Bad Advice From Good Friends

The worst type of advice my patients describe involves dating; the most egregious being that they should "give the guy another chance." Usually this advice comes after one of my patients has gone on one or two dates with someone who's behaved pretty badly.
09/16/2011 07:36 EDT
Thinkstock

Six Successful Relationship Tips

Your partner has to see and accept you just as you are. There's no point in presenting a "cleaned up" version of yourself because then they're not loving the real you. You can't feel loved if you're being inauthentic.
09/11/2011 06:25 EDT