With labour and six weeks of recovery under your belt (oh yeah, and a newborn baby to care for) sex might be the last thing on your mind. If you're looking to bring intimacy back into your lives, try these sex-boosting tips.
1. Embrace Your Body
The first step to bringing the sexy back is to feel sexy. Your body is different now but different isn't always bad. You may be curvier than before but your body has just undergone one of the most beautiful processes of all time. You have given life. Be proud of that hard work. Your body may be fuller but a few extra inches in your bust line is never a bad thing so look in the mirror and appreciate what you see. A little confidence can go a long way.
2. Put on Sexy Lingerie
Head to the store and find something that flatters your figure and that you feel really comfortable in. Just wearing a sexy outfit will make you feel more attractive and will certainly get your partner in the mood.
3. Mom and Dad are Important Too
Although your newborn is the most beautiful child in the world and you love him or her to pieces, it's not at all selfish to give yourselves some alone, baby-free time. Once in a while, get a relative or friend to come over after you've tucked baby in and head to a hotel with hubby for the night. Keeping your intimate life steamy is also important for your emotional connection and ultimately, your relationship. If everything you say begins with the words, "The baby," then you definitely some time alone.
Related: 3 Common Arguments of New Parents
4. Role Play
You're a new mom and you've been breastfeeding all day. Dad has been up all night for feedings and working all day. Needless to say, your current lives may be a little less "sexy" than you would like them to be. So next time you and your partner decide to get intimate, give role-playing a try. You'd be surprised how quickly you can forget how "unsexy" you have been feeling when role-playing begins.
5. Try New Positions and Places
As soon as your doctor gives you the go-ahead to have sex again, try something different. You may not reinvent the wheel, but having sex in a different position, or in a different room (like the living room instead of the bedroom) will spice things up a little bit. And you can never have too much spice in your love life.
6. Practice Kegel Exercises
While Kegel exercises are usually performed to control urine leakage after delivery, they can also be used to tighten the muscles in the vagina and make for better orgasms, too. On an empty bladder, lay down on your back and contract your inner pelvic muscles for 20 seconds at a time. Repeat this 10 times in a row, three times a day.
7. Have Sex Right Now
Maybe not right this second, but some time today. Be spontaneous and just do it. Forget planning it for the perfect night. There's no time like the present.
Written by Maria Barillaro for BabyPost.com
According to Dr. Jennifer Berman, co-founder of the Female Sexual Medicine Center at UCLA, orgasms increase your circulation, keeping the blood flowing to your genital area. This in turn keeps your tissue healthy!
Although it can't be considered an alternative to daily exercise, having an orgasm is a cardiovascular activity. "Your heart rate increases, blood pressure increases [and your] respiratory rate increases," says Berman. And because it's akin to running in many physiological respects, your body also releases endorphins. Sounds like a pretty fun way to work your heart out.
Feeling down in the dumps? An orgasm might be just what you need to pick yourself up. In addition to endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin are also released during orgasm. All three of these hormones have what Berman terms "mood-enhancing effects." In fact, dopamine is the same hormone that's released when individuals use drugs such as cocaine -- or eat something really delicious.
A little pleasure may go a long way towards a good night's rest. A recent survey of 1,800 women found that over 30 percent of them used sexual release as a natural sedative.
Having an orgasm not only works out your heart, but also your head. Barry Komisaruk, Ph.D. told Cosmopolitan that orgasms actually nourish the brain with oxygen. "Functional MRI images show that women's brains utilize much more oxygen during orgasm than usual," Komisaruk says.
One thing that Victorian practitioners may have been onto is that orgasms can work to soothe certain aches and pains -- namely migraines and menstrual cramps. (So now you know what to do next time you have a headache if you don't feel like popping an Excedrin.) According to Berman, the contractions that make up an orgasm can actually work to evacuate blood clots during your period, providing some temporary relief.
Most of our lives are so hectic that it's hard to even imagine being relaxed. However, it turns out that sexual release can double as stress relief. Not only do the hormones help with this task, Berman says that being sexual also gives our minds a break: "When we're stressed out and overextending ourselves, [we're] not being in the moment. Being sexual requires us to focus on one thing only."
There actually might be something to the idea that we "glow" after sex. The hormone DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone), which shows increased levels during sexual excitement, can actually make your skin healthier.
Last but not least, when you know what it takes to make yourself orgasm, you may increase your emotional confidence and intelligence. "When you understand how your body works and ... [that it] is capable of pleasure on its own, regardless of your partner status, you make much better decisions in relationships," says Logan Levkoff, Ph.D., a sexologist and certified sexuality educator. "You don't look to someone else to legitimize that you're a sexual being."
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