With Valentine's Day coming up, I thought I'd find a little somethin' somethin' to wear to mark the occasion. You know -- something cute and sexy that only my Valentine would get to see. But lo and behold, once again, I left the lingerie stores empty handed, disappointed and wishing I hadn't eaten that family-size bag of Lays. All by myself.
Normally I'm quite happy with the way I look. I eat well, I exercise and with the right lighting, look not half-bad for my age. But stick me under fluorescent lights after a weekend of eating Super Bowl food and holy moly hot bananas -- somebody get me a robe.
What is it with fitting room lighting in lingerie shops? No matter how dim it is, there's something incredibly unflattering about it. Don't the shop owners realize that with the right lighting some of us ladies would feel a lot better about our purchase and probably buy more? Because without suitable lighting, the tiniest lump, bump, ripple or dimple can look a million times worse.
Lingerie can be pretty tricky. Ideally it should look great on and make you feel incredible. But if you don't feel right in it, then what's the point. If it's not making you feel just a bit more special wearing it, then it just becomes a bra and panties; a slip or a nightie. I could find a ton of other ways to spend my money that don't require hand washing.
Shoes on the other hand, well, they never let me down. No matter what I look like, when I put on a sexy pair of shoes, I am transformed. Think about it. When's the last time you heard a woman say, "Do these red, platform, 5-inch heels accentuate my cellulite?"
Fabulous shoes really are miracle workers. They can make the difference between feeling frumpy and feeling fabulous. They can transform an outfit from being just OK to dynamite. They have a way of making a woman's legs look super shapely and lift her butt in just the right way. Put on a sexy shoe and instantly you're a goddess, a siren, a vamp -- a confident woman who knows what she wants and can take charge.
Here's another thing about shoes: the right pair can turn up the heat in the boudoir just as well as any sexy lingerie. Don't believe me? This Valentine's Day, if you're in the mood to spice things up, try walking into the bedroom with just your stilettos on and nothing else. And tell me that your Valentine won't know that you mean business.