My soapy hand grazed over the underside of my left breast and there it was. The dreaded lump. And it was big -- just a wee bit smaller than a golf ball. How the hell did I not notice that before? I poked and prodded at it as if that would make it go away. I swallowed my panic. It can't be cancer, I told myself. It's just a cyst. It's fine. I just had a clear mammogram four months earlier for God's sake.