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Naomi Elana Zener

Author of "Deathbed Dimes," writer, satirist, entertainment lawyer, wife, mother, shoe & art lover. www.naomielanazener.com & www.satiricalmama.com

Naomi Elana Zener is a new writer with a fresh satirical voice. She's the author of both Deathbed Dimes and satire fiction, which is posted on her blog: www.satiricalmama.com. Her vociferous blogging has been read and appreciated by industry bigwigs such as Giller Prize winner Dr. Vincent Lam and New York Times best-selling author and journalist Paula Froelich. She’s currently working on her sophomore novel.

Visit her website www.naomielanazener.com for more information and follow her on Twitter @satiricalmama.

The Gross Things Only a Parent Can Appreciate

In life, we get to experience so many firsts, which we look forward to with unbridled anticipation, wondering when they will happen. Our first crush. Our first date. Our first kiss. Our first A in sch...
12/02/2014 05:04 EST

What Happened to the Sisterhood of Mothers?

Wandering aimlessly through the hallways of a mall, down a street, or even through a museum, while pushing my baby stroller, I've come to notice the unwelcome gazes and size me up stares I now receive...
11/11/2014 12:14 EST
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Don't Tell Me I'm on the "Mommy Track"

I resent being labeled as being on the "Mommy Track." First, unlike Thomas, I'm not a train, thus not on any track. Second, I've never once heard anyone speak about my husband or any male friend or colleague as being on the "Daddy Track." As soon as my husband inseminated one of my eggs bearing us our first child in 2011, all of my accomplishments and endeavours were overshadowed.
10/16/2014 12:36 EDT
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Things I Want My Son To Understand About Misogyny

To the Mr. Misogynists out there, I beg of you to ask, where did you go wrong in life? At what point in your lives did you stumble upon a fork in the road, taking the path poorly traveled, deciding to turn your back on your DNA? Was it in the boys' locker room, after the big game, patting each other on the bum?
10/03/2014 01:08 EDT

What's in a Name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet" -- William Shakespeare Your baby's warm hands caressing your face, its rosebud lips pressed ever so softly up again...
10/01/2014 12:17 EDT
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Why Your Husband Should Get a Vasectomy

Men, just remember that a vasectomy won't stop you from pitching a tent. It simply means that when the volcano erupts, the lava won't flow and the villagers won't have to run for their lives. Why not man up and undergo a routine procedure that you won't even feel or remember, one that's along the lines of your circumcision (if you had one, and if you didn't, then along the lines of your first routine infant vaccination)?
08/30/2014 11:02 EDT

Let's Stop Whipping Out the Bully Card For No Reason

As a society, we really need to stop pulling out the bully card with such ease and lack of thought to its meaning. More so as mothers, we really need to stop overusing it, labelling each other as one when we don't like what another mother has said. Otherwise, the word and definition will lose all meaning, giving real bullies power to carry on.
08/13/2014 05:18 EDT

I Took the #100daysofhappiness Challenge

Broken down to the most basic common denominator, I'm happy that I wake up every day, as do my loved ones, in North America, healthy and educated, with a roof over my head, a comfortable bed to sleep in, clean water to drink, uncontaminated food to eat, and having the freedom to pursue any goal I set for myself.
07/11/2014 12:35 EDT
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Cut the Drama on Parenting Forums

There's nothing scarier than the overseers-in-chief of online parenting groups, who are at the ready to fire without aim, to censor, shame or outright ban a member of their group without first hitting pause, rewind and investigating an issue before acting.
06/19/2014 04:06 EDT
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Entitlement and Misogyny: Why Gun Violence Occurs

A growing sense of entitlement is leading to gun violence in the U.S. Many people think they are entitled to guns, and are entitled to control the lives of other people. But this isn't the case. Let's be clear -- in life, we are entitled to but one thing: our own lives. Apart from the air he breathed to help sustain his life, we are not entitled to anything else -- no person, no shooter, is entitled to kill anyone.
06/17/2014 05:13 EDT