After receiving word that our daughter's sobo (grandmother) had passed away in Japan, her mother and I discussed whether we should engage our daughter in the potentially traumatic Buddhist rituals around her sobo's cremated body? We were mindful of the gravity of the experience and knew that it would be a watershed moment in our daughter's life. In the end, we thought she was ready. So did she, our brave eight year-old. We were all wrong. When she came back, my daughter was no longer the same child I said goodbye to at the airport three weeks ago.