I get emails from public relations companies all the time. Generally for medium to large breweries announcing a new product or event, but there are exceptions to that.
The other day I got a message about a bar opening in Toronto. It doesn't really matter what bar it is, as it raises a concern that exists in a variety of bars. In fact, the problem isn't even black and white, there's definitely a variety of shades of grey. Of course, the company was looking for some coverage, which is a big part of what I do. Normally I would have just sent a quick "No thanks" email to be polite and left it at that, but for some reason, yesterday was different.
I'm not sure if it was because it was my 9th wedding anniversary, and my wife continually impresses me and brings me joy. Possibly it was because I have a daughter now, and I'm thinking about my actions as a man, particularly relating to how they relate to girls and young women who are growing up in a messed up world. Whatever it is, I started typing and the next thing I knew, I had a blog post. So here's what my problem is, and what I wish for in the world (among a lot of other stuff).
Thanks for the note. While I appreciate you taking the time to write me, using women's bodies to sell alcohol is probably the thing I hate most about the broader beer culture in the western world. As this is foundational to [The Bar]'s business plan, I would hardly be able to avoid editorializing on my feelings about this, and I don't think this would be at all helpful to your marketing campaign.
I would say I wish the [The Bar] success, but I don't. I wish they would encourage their servers to dress in a way that is tasteful, and respectful to who they are, rather than how they look. To embrace who they are as individuals, rather than using their sexuality to increase the company's bottom line. I wish their customers would have the confidence to drink in social settings where they are valued, not for how much money they might spend, but rather, for what they add to the interesting mix of folks who inevitably provide the life and "feel" of a great bar. I wish they would have enough faith in themselves to not believe the hype, that drinking brand X at bar Y somehow validates them.While this might sound preachy (it probably is), know that I feel genuinely bad for both the servers who work at these types of bars, and the customers who drink at them. Because participation in a bar culture can be a healthy wonderful experience, where you can find real validation being who you are, whether you are an attractive young women, or a balding middle aged dude like me.
Again, thank you for thinking of me. Feel free to keep me on your contact list for future announcements regarding beer and related stuff in Toronto.
Best,
Chris
What are your thoughts? Are using breasts and immodest clothing as a marketing plan acceptable? The servers are hardly being forced to work at these establishments, they choose to do so. The customers must know that the (mainly female) staff are only being to paid to act interested in them (at least they must know it on some level).
If everybody is going in with their heads up, is there a problem? Am I crazy, or an over-sensitive father? I should add, I realize this isn't exactly revolutionary thought. But I've been struck by it a lot recently. I think as a man, I need to be held to a higher standard. It's not OK to actively participate in both the objectification of a woman, and in the simplification of who I am as an individual. We need to demand better of ourselves.
Follow Chris Schryer on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ChrisSchryer
"What's wrong with Sexy?" Nigel Tuffnel
If you as a father don't want to attend these establishments, don't go. Its the wonder of a free market. If you don't want your daughter to work in a bar showing off her assets, well that's a harder thing to assure. I know a few waitress' who work at bars who started as they wanted to freak out dad. :-)
Now for me, I find so much flesh posted everywhere that I really don't seem to notice it. It now fails to gain my attention, and many bars and casinos with ads that display attractive men and women having fun, well the reality when you get in there is the attractive people tend to be elsewhere.
The fact that you associate market forces with "how things ought to be" is your choice, but you first have to convince me why market forces trump moral truth before I can accept something like that (I am not from the religious right, but what we ought to do should be based on some moral outlook and principle)
Clearly I won't be attending these bars, but a big piece of writing this post was to challenge other people to consider their actions. Why choose to drink in these places? What on earth does one gain over the many other bars available, other than looking at a woman's body, that you will very likely never have any more intimate contact with than staring? Why not buy a 6-pack and stay home and spend some quality time with Google Image search?
The thought of both my son and daughter's choices of rebellion are simultaneously a joy and terror. Joy remembering how hard I tried to carve out my own identity as a teen, and terror remembering significant parts of the process that I would rather they avoid.
As far as desensitization goes, I know what you mean, but I try to stay quite aware of the prevalence of sexuality on display for the sake of dollars in coffers. There are days when indignation doesn't strike as I walk by an American Apparel advert, and I need to consciously remind myself that this is not OK, no matter how common-place it becomes.
Some people need a smack to the face to see clearly.
I think the difference is that beer ads are the least subliminal to the point that they suggest sex more blatently than the erectile dysfunction ones do.
Regardless of the product ad makers know that sex sells and the newly converted feminist father is just beginning to realise how deep that truth runs.
We never get off the teat we just change the contents.
sordo44 What's the beer in question? Recently I've been drinking a lot of Sawdust City and Bellwoods, which are two very small craft brewers here in Toronto.
For now, let me allude to it, and say that two main themes seem to be emerging, both here and on twitter. What I would call the "passive", that the girls are choosing to do this, so it's "harmless", and the "pessimist", that it's always been like this, men will be men, etc, and there's nothing to be done about it. I don't think either of these are valid arguments, and I'll explain why in the post. For now, what does everybody else think? Reasonable? Not?
By the way, this isn't to devalue the other types of comments, including those or support and empathy. Thank you for those, as well as all the others. This was my first post here, and I'm really excited about the engagement.
Thanks!