If you are not in the relationship you desire, and want to be, you will find this article very useful as these techniques will help you let go of the old limiting beliefs you have surrounding relationships, and also become more aware of the negative self talk you say to yourself and others about relationships.
When it comes to getting into a meaningful relationship most people have an opinion on the subject. That's because many of us have been in a relationship, at one time or another. However, the thing is not every tool, tip or trick gets us into the relationship that we want. Mostly, because when it comes to relationships our emotions are involved, and emotions tend to push all of our dating and relationship techniques right out the window.
The first step in getting into a meaningful relationship is to believe that your perfect partner is out there. Believe that you are worthy and deserving of not only meeting this perfect partner, but of also sustaining a meaningful relationship.
Our personal beliefs play a huge role in how we view ourselves, and the world around us -- though our beliefs are not reality itself, but rather our thoughts about reality. In our quest for love many of us desire to live a perfect life in a perfect relationships with a perfect partner. But, often we end up in a relationship that is unfulfilled, with a partner that is below our standards, living a life that is far from perfect.
If a meaningful relationship is what you truly desire, then simply believe that a meaningful relationship is possible.
The second step in getting into a meaningful relationship is to think love and think relationships. Your thoughts manifest the life you want and the life you're living now, even the unfavorable stuff. Everything that you have, the people you know, and the experiences you have are all a result of your inner beliefs and thoughts.
If you're single and alone, but don't want to be, it isn't because you are undesirable, but rather because your inner most thoughts, and beliefs are not in alignment with being in a meaningful relationship.
Most people believe that they are thinking good thoughts about relationships, but in actuality they are thinking bad thoughts about relationships. You can tell the difference because people who are thinking good thoughts about relationships tend to say things like: I'm sure he or she is out there or I'm looking forward to meeting that special someone. On the other hand people who are thinking bad thoughts about relationships tend to say things like: There are no good men or women out there or only rich men or skinny women get the relationships they truly want.
Sometimes it's hard to see where we are on the relationship spectrum. Many of us think that we are thinking good thoughts, and keeping an open mind, when in fact we are sabotaging our chances of meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right. Consider checking in with yourself from time to time. Or try asking yourself questions like: Is what I am saying about relationships serving me or sabotaging my chance at having a meaningful relationship? If you try this and you still aren't sure, try checking in with a friend, preferably a positive friend who lifts you up, and ask them if the things you're saying about relationships are supportive or destructive.
The third and final step in creating the relationship you deserve is to "Act Accordingly." That means first doing what it takes to get your beliefs and thoughts in total alignment with your relationship desires. And second, letting go of beliefs and thoughts that don't support your relationship goals.
When I met the man of my dreams I knew that I had to be open and willing to receive all that he and the relationship had to offer, and that meant I was going to have to put in some work. Not necessarily the footwork, but rather the inner work on my Self. I knew this was important because ninety per cent of what makes a person attracts comes from within. While only ten per cent comes from the outer attributes.
People who are serious about being in a meaningful relationship not only do things like: join a Meetup Group, try Speed Dating, or Hire A Matchmaker, they also do things to make themselves more attractive, physically, mentally and emotionally. No matter what it is we want in life we have to be willing to do what it takes to get it, and attracting our life partner and sustaining a meaningful relationship should is no different.
In summary, everyday I come across people who are single, lonely or in unfulfilled relationships and they can't seem to figure out what to do. And, what my experience has taught me is that people who are in happy meaningful relationships are so because they are relationship minded people. That means they believe they are worthy and deserving of a loving relationship, they believe there are good men and women out there, and they focus all of their thoughts, beliefs and actions on being in a loving and supportive relationship. Therefore, if creating and sustaining a meaningful relationship is what you desire, be willing to believe, think and act in a manner that is aligned with what you say you want.
Collette Gee is Holistic Relationship Coach that helps men and women create and sustain healthy relationships. Learn more about Collette GeeMORE ON HUFFPOST:
Listen to and respect your partner. Nothing is more frustrating than feeling you are not heard. Let your significant other know that you hear what they are saying, and that you understand how they are feeling. While you listen, try to stand in your partners shoes in order to understand where they are coming from -- it will help you to resolve differences.
Never attack your partner with abuse – this includes meanness, cursing, screaming, or threatening to leave them. Treat them with the same respect you would want and ask for yourself.
We all get busy and tired, and it's easy to let having sex go as something that doesn't matter -- but it does. Carve out time, even if its planned and not spontaneous, to have a date night of some sort, and have sex. Talk to each other about what you like, about loving them, liking them, appreciating them. Make it a point to hug, hold hands, and nuzzle. These physical displays of affection keep the closeness alive and make both people feel loved.
Money is the number two source of fights and divorce among couples (second only to sex). Have a monthly conference where you both talk about where you are financially, and where you want to be. Discuss planning for children. Decide which expenses will be a priority when money gets tight (before it gets tight). Look at what was spent, any debt issues, and plans for investing. Set aside the time to go over this -- don’t talk about money off the cuff or in the bedroom.
Often enough couples don’t agree about many things, but it's the couples who really work to compromise with each other that go the distance. If you come ready for war and intent on winning, in the end you will actually lose your relationship. Instead, come ready to hear each other out and work to accommodate some of what each of you want, or take turns on who gets what they want each time.
We often believe that it's our partner who could and should make us happy. But really, everyone goes through periods of being unhappy that are not necessarily a reflection of a problem with our relationship, or certainly not a deal breaker. Too often couples break up because they rely on their partner for happiness. If you are emotionally struggling, it's important to look to yourself and examine what might be going on.
Some situations put yourself or your partner at high risk. Avoid confessing problems in your relationship to a special friend of the opposite sex with whom you feel close. Don’t go out drinking alcohol alone with this "friend" either. If you do develop a friendship, include your spouse in your dinner or activities with them. Don’t act privately with a friend in a way that you never would if your spouse were there.
Traditions can be the glue that provides a sense of family, belonging and love. Whether it’s about a holiday that you do together a in certain way, or weekend dinners that you create tradition around, having a sense of "this is what we do to celebrate together" not only makes the two of you feel closer, it makes a whole family feel closer.
Couples who are struggling often wait until they both really want a divorce before they go to therapy as a last ditch effort so they can tell themselves that they've tried everything. It's very difficult to make headway with a couple that has one foot out the door. Before you feel contempt for your partner, before you're rolling your eyes at everything they say, and before it’s hard to even be in the same room with them, come to therapy with an aim to set yourselves back on track to enjoy your marriage.
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