Being single when you really want to be in a meaningful, loving relationship can be difficult. There's no doubt about it. It's especially challenging when everywhere you look, you see other people, some of them your closest friends, who have someone and wonder what's keeping you from that.
As hard as it may seem, being single isn't the worst thing in the world, and in fact means you get to date and hang out with cool new prospects. Even if you're an introvert or have had bad dating or relationship experiences in the past, dating gives you another opportunity to meet new people and have new experiences.
When it comes to dating, it's important to stay positive. However, if you struggle to think positively about dating, consider re-thinking the way you think about relationships. While you don't want to pretend that dating isn't stressful, or whatever other negative aspects you think about when it comes to dating, re-framing your thoughts about dating will help create a much better dating experience.
There's Nothing Wrong With You!
The first thing to keep in mind is that your being single doesn't mean you're undesirable or not good enough; there's nothing wrong with you. And, unless you've deliberately chosen to be single or purposefully isolated yourself from potential prospects, there's nothing inherent to who you are or what you're about that makes you single.
Life Can Be Challenging; Dating Doesn't Have to Be
Some people believe that they would be flooded with a stream of dating prospects if only they could change one thing about themselves. However, the truth is, that finding a potential prospect is a lot more complicated than that.
There are things that each of us has that makes us unique, and that means that we're not always going to be compatible with everyone. Creating the relationship that you want is a process, and it requires figuring out what works best for you, and your potential partner.
Therefore obsessing over that one change won't make a difference. In fact, it will just make you feel more insecure about potential incompatibilities. Instead, focus on finding someone who is willing and mature enough to work through those areas of incompatibility.
There's Someone Out There
Another strong false belief that single people have about dating is that, no matter how hard they try to find a partner, it will never happen for them because there is no one out there for them. In most cases this limiting belief is particularly pervasive among individuals who have been in several serious relationships that for whatever reason fell through.
While it can be hard to believe that your perfect partner is out there, especially when your dating and relationship experiences have been challenging, it's important to keep an open mind while you strive to find your perfect partner. Otherwise, this belief will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, where your belief turns into the very thing you don't want -- being single and alone.
Steer clear from limiting beliefs! They don't serve you, nor your agenda. Instead, surround yourself with people who support your dating agenda, and who will remind you of how magnificent you are, when you get down on yourself. It's essential that you do whatever it takes to stay positive, and so that you can maintain your focus on your truest desire -- meeting the love of your life -- so that your perfect partner will find you.
Collette Gee is a Certified Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner, a Violence Prevention Specialist and a Matchmaker, and Holistic Relationship Coach that helps men and women create and sustain healthy relationship patterns and behaviors. Visit findinghappily.com to learn more about Collette Gee
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