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The Wrong Kind of Threesome: Obama, the Church, and Sandra Fluke

Posted: 03/ 6/2012 2:36 pm

The feebleness of the Republicans and obtuseness of much of the media has, as was widely predicted and feared, transformed the proposed requirement that Catholic institutions be obliged to pay for insuring their employees for the costs of contraception, including abortion-inducing drugs and sterilization, into a ludicrous and degrading farce.

There were many ways of insuring these costs without the government gratuitously assaulting the Roman Catholic Church and creating a blood sport showdown between the Catholic Church leadership and the most militant shock-troops of the ad hoc abortionist-free love coalition. In fairness to the President, he must be commended for envisioning the almost unbelievably absurd spectacle that has already unfolded.

He well knew the screeching nature of his feticidal allies such as Planned Parenthood, but was he, with all the other preoccupations of his great office, aware that a Sandra Fluke was lurching around, close by, careering about in search of new ways to amplify her harradanly onslaught on the central nervous system of America? The answer must be that he did; such a miraculous anti-apparition could not just have emerged, like the Virgin Mother to Ste. Bernadette at Lourdes or to the children at Fatoma.

In a last-ditch effort to retain some context in this cacophonous divertissement to this generally fatuous election campaign, the issue has almost nothing to do with access to contraceptive medicine and devices. The government had many ways of including these in insurance without stamping its fiat on the Roman Catholic Church like a hob-nailed jackboot. It premeditatedly selected what it takes to be the primitive sacred cow of the Roman Catholic episcopate, and goaded it with an affront to First Amendment religious rights, while opening the cage of the snarling, flesh-rending women of the feminist left in a 360 degree behavioural coalition.

From the anti-choice, pro-abortionists at Planned Parenthood, the trip-wires snapped across the spectrum to Sandra Fluke, the compulsively belligerent and apparently sexually hyperactive campus radical claiming that the Obama measure spares her the schizophrenia-inducing choice between sexual abstinence and penury from the costs of birth control pills.

This is nonsense of course, as Planned Parenthood and like-minded organizations have useful and very affordable programs for the acquisition of birth control needs. Nobody, including the Catholic bishops, are trying to deny women access to contraception at bargain cost. (Three years' use of the oral contraceptive Tri-Sprintec, available at Walmart and Target, would cost $150; three years of two condoms per day would cost $881. Presumably the eager males could be persuaded, if necessary at the decisive moment, to split the cost.)

Contraception is not a health care issue at all. Pregnancy is not an illness; prevention of pregnancy is a completely legitimate step and should be practically available, and is. But it has almost nothing to do with health care. The whole discussion is a red herring except for the administration's premeditated ambush of the Catholic bishops, which Obama and his strategists calculated would be a free goal against an anachronistic paper tiger trying to impose medieval humbug on American women (and men).

The self-righteous pieties of New Jersey Democratic Senator Frank Lautenberg, that, "I don't want Republican politicians making decisions about my family's health care," and Democratic Senator Patty Murray's (Washington), "The Senate will not allow women's health care choices to be taken away from them," are ridiculous, and are not connected to the issue.

But the versatile, manifoldly hyperactive Ms. Fluke provided the piece de resistance; as former president of the (Jesuit-directed) Georgetown University Law Students for Reproductive Justice, she asserted the right to require the Roman Catholic Church, as it tries pastorally to persuade her of the virtues of a more restrained sexual regime, to pay to insure her contraceptive costs; i.e. the avoidance of reproduction in the name of reproductive rights, the subsidization of non-reproductive sex to the account of the chief public advocate of sexual moderation, and oppression of the Church by the State in the secularly holy name of church-state separation.

I would never have suspected Mr. Obama of possessing the imagination to create such a Gordian Knot of an imbroglio. Rush Limbaugh should not have called Ms. Fluke "a slut or a prostitute" and he has rightly apologized for doing so. But his suggestion that if she were going to conduct her sex life at the public's expense and at a frenetic pace, she should make and distribute videos of it, was not unreasonable, even if it was facetious.

The controversy is both entertaining and discouraging. The sex lives of competent adults are no business of anyone except the individuals involved, though religious and other institutions have the right to disapprove of some practices as long as the sanctions do not exceed their rightful sectarian jurisdictions. Preventive birth control is not only in widespread use; it has removed a great deal of tension in society and facilitated much inoffensive pleasure.

It is, in fact, a fine scientific advance that all conscientious people are free to apply as they think appropriate, (which is close to the position of many Catholic bishops). It is also a good thing, and Ms. Fluke may actually deserve some credit here for her commendably unabashed proclamation of energetic sexuality, that this antediluvian charade that women are demure, reluctant sex partners -- as much victims of male lust as happy participants -- is giving way to the admission that almost everyone likes sex.

The administration's attempted financial penalization of the Roman Catholic Church, to impose what the pope has rightly called "militant secularism" at the expense of the Church's legitimate official canons, is oppressive, unconstitutional, repugnant, and the lowest form of political chicanery. Senators Lautenberg and Murray are just dissembling hacks.

Ms. Fluke is either a crank or a charlatan, (though a somewhat amusing one). The only player still in the dugout is Justice Antonin Scalia, whose last public proruption into Catholic university matters was to rage against joint-gender residences at the Catholic University of America. He and Ms. Fluke should become better acquainted; that is a match that would sell out the local football stadium.

President Obama should be rebuked for his outrageous HHS directive but commended for his exemplary sense of mischief. The Republicans have been exposed, a semi-weekly occurrence this election season, as a slapstick vaudeville routine. It is hard to believe, and far from a tranquilizing thought, that out of this process, the fate of a great nation will be determined for four years.

 
 
 
The feebleness of the Republicans and obtuseness of much of the media has, as was widely predicted and feared, transformed the proposed requirement that Catholic institutions be obliged to pay for ins...
The feebleness of the Republicans and obtuseness of much of the media has, as was widely predicted and feared, transformed the proposed requirement that Catholic institutions be obliged to pay for ins...
 
 
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12:00 PM on 03/08/2012
More poorly written, badly reasoned nonsense form Black. Like Limbaugh he falsely asserts that Ms Fluke is asking for someone else to pay for her contraceptives (with the sly insinuation that it's because she is some kind of slut...Black doesn't use the word but he;s happy to imply it...)

But anyone with half a brain, a search engine and honest intentions can see for themselves that as a student at Georgetown Ms Fluke is the one paying for her health insurance...http://studentaffairs.georgetown.edu/insurance/letteraccept.html

All she is asking is that the insurance she is paying for actually cover her medical needs. This should be non-controversial, to say the least, but since there is a hint of women maybe having non-Vatican approved sexytime we have creepy old men like Black and Limbaugh all a-flutter; declaring Ms Fluke's reasonable request to somehow be an assault on the mighty Catholic Church and she herself a slut.

Shame on you Mr. Black; not that I had any respect for you to begin with; but even for you this is a new low.
08:34 PM on 03/07/2012
"Contraception is not a health care issue at all." WRONG. Pregnancy aggravates certain conditions such as back problems or heart issues, which require medical treatment. Pregancy can cause strokes and hemorrhoids, which require medical treatment. Pregnancy can kill, but usually not before many expensive medical procedures are attempted to save the life of the mother and/or child. Pregnancy, most of the time, results in the live birth of a child - an individual who may or may not need costly medical treatment throughout his or her lifetime. "Pregnancy is not an illness..." I totally agree, but it does require health care, and health care is costly. Providing contraception - preventing pregnancy - can save huge amounts of health care dollars, making it a very important health care issue.
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10:48 PM on 03/07/2012
More on this in my comment above.
03:08 PM on 03/07/2012
Hey Conrad, nicely put. But, you do realize this is HP. The actual issue doesn't matter to progressives as long as some conservative organization, or preferably conservatives directly are punished through senseless coercion.

Now prepare yourself for the flesh rending commenters with their non sequitur comments.
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SimonLeigh
01:03 PM on 03/07/2012
The only sure protection of a woman's health during intercourse is a condom. Surely the Catholic church wouldn't want its male members carelessly infecting women. Condoms should be covered by health insurance.
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cdncommentator
10:37 AM on 03/07/2012
Only a man who doesn't have to carry, bear children and actually assume physical care for them would say that contraception isn't a health care issue.

It is a health care issue as well as a social safety net issue, because unwanted or highly disabled children cost the state money in care, support, fostering, etc. whether the child is kept by the parent(s) forever, initially, or not at all.

When churches choose to function as a business that pays business taxes and contracts with its membership clearly about its expectations and what it will provide, then there might be an argument that government has no right to insist that health care insurance cover the full range of services needed by responsible, normally sexually active, adult women. But while churches are exempt from business taxes, they are therefore supported by the government and subject to government regulation that they do not discriminate against their employees on the basis of sex, gender, race, etc. when such discrimination cannot be justified by the work they do in public according to the dictates of the particular religion. Clearly, taking medication (for whatever) in the privacy of one's home does not impact one's performance of churchly duties during the daytime hours.

Sorry Conrad, you're wrong.

And you need to check some of the flowery language as well. A little is ok, but too much is like overdecorating.
10:27 AM on 03/07/2012
I suppose we can add Conrad Black's name to the long list of people who can't tell the difference between "providing contraception" and "making contraception mandatory".

If any employee of the Catholic Church wishes to follow the teaching of the church and abstain, they're free to do so. If any employee wishes to follow their own conscience, they're free to do that too. The church doesn't have any special rights to different health plans than it has a right to be exempt from any other kind of occupational health and safety regulations.

That freedom to independantly make your own moral choices is a more important central teaching to any genuine catholic philosopher and theologian than any petty slap-fight over health plans ever was. Expecting the church to follow the law isn't "secularism run amok" or any other hysterical, hyperventilating sign of the apocalypse, it's just common sense.
10:07 AM on 03/07/2012
Conrad has picked up where Rush left off; how wonderful. The verbosity that he is known for mixes effortlessly with the labels that he is all too quick to apply. Contraception and the cost of it is a health issue. The Catholic Church's hierarchy will not chnage its mind on the issue , thus it is necessary and desirable that government intervene to put that hierarchy in its place. Do we know that followers of religious groups need protection from their spiritual leaders! Should it surprise Conrad that parishioners need more protection from out-of-touch elites? What's with this chinsy "wrong kind of threesome" headline? Is Conrad holding himself out as some sort of expert or is this simply more cute word-crafting?
11:56 AM on 03/07/2012
The role of the catholic church in a modern democracy it to tell there parishioners that their loving god will roast them in hell fire for eternity if they use contraception. If priests were being arrested for saying this, then perhaps the inane "war on religion" rhetoric might have some validity. If, like 73% of Catholic women, the female students at Georgetown choose to ignore this message, then perhaps there might be some fault to be found in the message.

What cannot happen in a modern democracy is for any church to dictate to the government what health care policy should be.
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SimonLeigh
07:48 AM on 03/07/2012
The Catholic church, for its own weird historical reasons, forbids using contraceptives. So Catholic men and women, if they're good Catholics, must not use contraceptives, whether they're free, expensive, or available through health insurance. Catholics have the religious freedom to NOT USE CONTRACEPTIVES. But no church or organisation has the freedom to prevent other people from using contraceptives; that would be illegal. Their religious freedom is only to preach that using contraceptives is sinful.
04:20 AM on 03/07/2012
Ridiculous. Yet another man who obviously didn't actually listen to her testimony and has no clue as to the other uses for contraception meds.
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agness nutter
What fresh hell is this?
01:51 AM on 03/07/2012
Just when we'd had our fill of Limbaugh, we are blessed with the splutterings of a very slightly less oleaginous, diaphoretic blatherskite
06:50 AM on 03/07/2012
Love it!
"...oleaginous, diaphoretic blatherskite" - worthy of Rex Murphy!
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agness nutter
What fresh hell is this?
10:43 AM on 03/07/2012
As Mr. Murphy would say, "That's high praise, indeed." Thank you.
01:30 AM on 03/07/2012
"But his suggestion that if she were going to conduct her sex life at the public's expense and at a frenetic pace, she should make and distribute videos of it, was not unreasonable...."

This is possibly not the most asinine comment in this essay, but I am not going to waste any more time reading this bunk....
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agness nutter
What fresh hell is this?
01:25 PM on 03/07/2012
I'm somewhat familiar with His Lordship, and even I was aghast at this.
wetcoastm
Free Speech As Dictated By Our Sponsors
01:19 AM on 03/07/2012
Just a touch heavy on the imagery.
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12:58 AM on 03/07/2012
The church does not have the right to dictate what health care options are available to a woman they provide generalized medical insurance for. The church cannot know in any case whether the hormone doses in question are used to control acne, to regulate migraine headaches, to mitigate against the worst effects of menopause, to prevent excessive bleeding during menstruation, to prevent the growth of certain ovarian cysts, or to prevent pregnancy. It's also none of their business. The Jesuits who run Ms Fluke's University have no right to her medical records - or those of the friend she testified about who lost her ovary.

There are religious institutions that probably believe heart or kidney transplants or life-support devices are against God's will. There are others that would probably prefer not to provide insurance at all and simply prescribe prayer as a remedy. Where do we draw the line?

As for Mr Black. He's currently housed at public expense in Miami. Does that make me entitled to have video surveillance of his every waking moment streamed into my home?
12:45 AM on 03/07/2012
I think I will use this column as an example of biased language for my English class. Thank you so much, Lord Whosits of Whatsits. Are you in competition with Rex Murphy to see which of you can be the most obtusely loquacious?
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agness nutter
What fresh hell is this?
01:29 PM on 03/07/2012
I love it when it comes out of Rex's mouth. I could listen to that man for hours - in fact I do - on Cross-Country check-up, when I don't defenestrate the radio.
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YankeeCanuck
dog
12:33 AM on 03/07/2012
Why, oh why were those 8 comments held up for 12 hours? It's not as if there was a torrent. And still 5 in the holding tank.
Is there a droit de seigneur on comments when the author is a lord? An incarcerated lord with a purchased title at that!
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agness nutter
What fresh hell is this?
03:02 AM on 03/07/2012
Apparently you can't say "blatherskite" here. I excogitated it would have been right up His Lordship's boulevard.
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YankeeCanuck
dog
01:16 PM on 03/07/2012
Marvellous word choice. However, Lord B's boulevard is one-way.
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Irazu
I have nothing to declare
05:04 PM on 03/07/2012
My Comment never even made the cut!!

I don't know what it was I said - the worst I can recall is "Lord Black the Incarcerated"..

Anyway, tried again in a bowdlerized form, let's see if it clears.