THE BLOG

It's Okay To Be 'Just a Mom'

06/01/2014 11:42 EDT | Updated 08/01/2014 05:59 EDT

Have you seen the Facebook status meant to buoy stay at home moms up and make themselves feel as if they're worth something?

"You're just a mom??

Uhh Yes....I AM A MOM!!! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, handyman, security officer, photographer, counselor, chauffeur, event planner, personal assistant, ATM, & I scare away the boogie man. I don't get Holidays, Sick pay or Days off!! I work through the DAY n NIGHT!!! I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. And that's just my First JOB.....Being A MOM!!!! I may not be anything to you but I am EVERYTHING to someone........ Repost if you are a PROUD MOM!!!!"

I'm a proud mom, and no. No, I will not repost that because it's utter garbage, as is usually found on Facebook. No offense to those who have posted it. I mean, I understand the sentiment, and how often have I, myself, said that we're under-appreciated as a group? I'll say it again.

We are an under-appreciated group. And it is hard to be a full-time, all-the-time mom. I complain about it all the time. But that doesn't make me a photographer or a counselor, does it? Not likely.

Let's go through the grammar because I simply can't move forward until I do. If you are a mom, hell, if you are even a semi-educated adult, you'll know that using capital letters to get your point across doesn't work. You'll also know that four exclamation points are no more excited or angry than one. Same for question marks. You're not suddenly more incredulous because you've used two question marks. Ellipses are three periods together...l ike this. And why would you bother typing out that mammoth paragraph of an update if typing the word "and" is too hard for you? Also, it's Bogeyman. The one place you have to legitimately capitalize, and you miss out. Speaking of, holidays, sick pay and days off are all lowercase. I'm sure there's more, but that's enough grammar snark for now.

I was joking about this status with a childless friend of mine, and I said, listen, being a mom makes me a god, okay? Which is basically what this status is saying. In its attempt to validate a mother's choice to stay home and "do nothing" in society's judgmental eyes, we've grossly overstepped.

My friend asked me to provide the paperwork that authorized me such a position, to which I replied that being a mom makes me harried and disorganized, and while it may make me a maid, that doesn't mean it makes me a good one -- which is a key point.

Yes, as stay at home moms we do put bandages on scraped knees. That doesn't make us nurses. We do take pictures of our kids. That doesn't make us photographers (even if we have DSLRs). We do clean up the living room and put the dishes in the wash. That doesn't make us maids. Organizing a playdate for our little ones and driving them there doesn't make us personal assistants, event coordinators or chauffeurs. And teaching our children basic life skills does not make us teachers.

Do you know what those things make us? They make us moms.

And what's wrong with being moms? What's so awful about this that we feel we need to shout at the world that we are so much more than moms, that we are so much more than everyone else?

Fighting fire with fire rarely works and this is yet another case of it.

If you were truly proud to be a mom, you wouldn't have to validate your choice on Facebook. This status update screams insecurity at me. It's a rightful retaliation of the judgement we as moms face every day, but it's done all wrong.

You don't have to be an ATM, or a handyman, or a waitress to be proud of being a mom.

You can just be a mom. You are everything to your child, like that status says, so you do not need to justify your existence falsely to the world.

You can just be a mom.

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