Debra Macleod
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Debra Macleod, B.A., LL.B., is an international marriage author-expert and couples mediator. Visit her private practice at DebraMacleod.com.

Entries by Debra Macleod

Is A 'Partner Predator' Circling Your Husband Or Wife?

(11) Comments | Posted April 25, 2017 | 5:38 PM

affair

You're having a nice coffee date with your wife when her phone chimes with a new text. She reads it, giggles, and starts texting this other person back. You know who it is.

It's him. It's always him. Your neighbour, that overly friendly guy that...

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When Does A Work Wife/Work Husband Become An Affair?

(17) Comments | Posted March 17, 2017 | 11:47 AM

Recently, I was chatting with a woman who had contacted me after what she felt was a disastrous marriage counseling session with another practitioner. She described a scenario I've seen play out many times.

It all began as an occasional after-hours and work-related text from one of her husband's female...

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10 Proactive Ways To Fix The Cracks Forming In Your Marriage

(1) Comments | Posted March 9, 2017 | 3:39 PM

As someone who works with couples who are struggling with infidelity and other serious marriage problems, I often hear people say that their partner's affair or request for separation came "out of the blue" and that they had "no clue" their partner was that unhappy or close to leaving.

Yet...

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Marriages Crash When Sex Falls Off The Radar

(3) Comments | Posted January 17, 2017 | 2:24 PM

When it comes to marriage, emotional and sexual intimacy are two sides of the same coin. In successful marriages, we see a pretty decent balance. We see a couple who is going through life as best friends, and who just happen to think the other is pretty damn...

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When His Midlife Crisis Wreaks Havoc On Your Marriage

(0) Comments | Posted January 11, 2017 | 11:11 AM

Ah, the stereotypical male midlife crisis -- it summons images of a middle-aged man cruising in a red convertible, trying to recapture the feeling of lost youth. Who can blame him? We all want to cover those grays, one way or another. And hey, it's only in midlife that a...

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10 Things Your Cheating Spouse Doesn't Want You To Know

(5) Comments | Posted January 3, 2017 | 10:16 AM

Finding out that your husband or wife has been unfaithful isn't just a time of profound heartbreak and shock, it's also a time of intense confusion. There are so many unanswered questions and so many overwhelming emotions.

Most unfaithful partners are deeply committed to saving their marriage. They are honest,...

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Here's What Your Partner Really Wants For Xmas

(0) Comments | Posted December 15, 2016 | 7:05 AM

If you're like most people in a committed relationship, you're spending this week shoulder-checking shoppers at the mall to find your sweetheart that present that will light up their eyes on Christmas morning. Or you're desperately scouring Amazon to find something suitable -- and something that will arrive before Christmas...

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'Tis the Season For Holidays And Horrible Marriages

(0) Comments | Posted December 8, 2016 | 6:37 AM

Right around this time every year, I sense a certain panic my clients' voices. "Deb, we need to fix our problems -- Christmas is coming!"

You're correct. You do need to fix your problems. And Christmas is coming.

But you don't need to fix your problems because Christmas is...

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Counselling Can Ruin What's Left Of Your Struggling Marriage

(0) Comments | Posted November 4, 2016 | 4:02 PM

Couples counselling isn't always what it's cracked up to be. In fact, in some ways it's the complete opposite of what a struggling couple needs. Why? Because counselling is a practice that primarily focuses on the self. In fulfilling one's own needs over the course of numerous weekly sessions. Or...

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You Can Save Your Marriage In 60 Seconds

(1) Comments | Posted October 4, 2016 | 1:09 PM

Got a minute? Good. Let's see how you can start to improve the dynamics in your marriage right now.

It's like this: There are sixty seconds in your day that are absolutely pivotal in terms of how you and your spouse will relate to each other for the entire...

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Should You Contact The Person Your Spouse Is Cheating With?

(9) Comments | Posted September 14, 2016 | 9:15 AM

It's something I hear all the time in my practice: "My spouse is having (or had) an affair. Should I contact the Other Man / Other Woman?"

My short answer is this: Nooooo!!!! Don't do it!

Easier said than done, right?

If you don't know who the...

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Being An "Alpha Mom" Is Killing Your Marriage

(5) Comments | Posted July 27, 2016 | 8:07 AM

A few days ago, I was trying on some clothes in a fitting room when -- just as I pulled the shirt over my head -- a sudden wall-shaking bang just about made me fall over.

I waited a moment and then, there it was: another wall-shaking bang. And...

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When Your Unfaithful Spouse Refuses To End An Affair

(16) Comments | Posted July 20, 2016 | 7:43 AM

When most people imagine a scenario involving a "cheating spouse" being caught having an emotional or sexual affair, they assume said cheating spouse will react apologetically. "I'm so sorry! It meant nothing, you're the one I love and want to be with! I'll do whatever it takes to fix this!"

...
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Why "We're Just Friends" Is Often A Lie

(24) Comments | Posted July 7, 2016 | 10:45 AM

So, I'm just wondering... whatever happened to trusting one's own gut? Is it unfashionable to do so? Politically incorrect? Fattening? There must be a reason that so many people have stopped doing it.

As a couple's mediator who works with couples trying to overcome infidelity and broken trust, I hear...

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The Difference Between Following Your Heart And Trusting Your Gut

(0) Comments | Posted March 3, 2016 | 3:40 PM

At first glance, you might think that "following your heart" and "trusting your gut" are similar. They're both about listening to your intuition, right?

It depends. I think our heart -- and, by that, I mean our desires and hopes -- can definitely help us become more intuitive and make...

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8 Ways To Have More Sophisticated Sex With Your Sweetheart

(3) Comments | Posted February 4, 2016 | 8:44 AM

Be honest. Have you started wearing your husband's T-shirts to bed too often? Have your formerly grand romantic efforts dwindled to a half-hearted, "So, you wanna?" Well, today's your -- and your partner's -- lucky day. Here are eight easy ways to class-up a sex life that has fallen out...

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8 Relationship Resolutions Every Couple Should Make

(6) Comments | Posted December 31, 2015 | 2:15 PM

Ah, we all love a fresh start, don't we? But between charging up that new Fitbit and vowing to stay on budget, be sure to make a few promises to your sweetheart. Here are eight relationship resolutions every couple should make:

1. Talk to your partner like he or she...

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Looking For A New Holiday Ritual? Try Something Old

(0) Comments | Posted December 15, 2015 | 1:54 PM

Ah, those nativity scenes outside churches this time of year are pretty, aren't they? The little baby, the cattle, the quaint little manger. I think they're lovely -- yet I don't actually believe the nativity story for a moment.

And I'm not alone. We live in a multicultural society where...

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These Are The Signs Your Spouse Is Having A Texting Affair

(1) Comments | Posted November 24, 2015 | 2:16 PM

When we talk about affairs, we often categorize them as emotional, physical, or both. That's helpful to some extent. Yet nowadays, there's another category that we can loosely call the texting affair.

An oversimplified scenario goes like this: Your spouse strikes up an opposite-sex friendship with a person at work,...

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Are You Afraid To Make A Change? Don't Let Fear Paralyze You

(0) Comments | Posted October 26, 2015 | 5:19 PM

I don't know about you, but every now and then when I'm highway driving at night I slip into a strange type of reverie. The black sky with the stars visible through my sunroof. The wash of white light from the headlights on the black road, illuminating my path as...

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