Debra Macleod
Debra Macleod, B.A., LL.B., is a top-selling relationship author, expert resource for major media and couples mediator. Visit her private practice at

Entries by Debra Macleod

Counselling Can Ruin What's Left Of Your Struggling Marriage

(0) Comments | Posted November 4, 2016 | 5:02 PM

Couples counselling isn't always what it's cracked up to be. In fact, in some ways it's the complete opposite of what a struggling couple needs. Why? Because counselling is a practice that primarily focuses on the self. In fulfilling one's own needs over the course of numerous weekly sessions. Or...

Read Post

You Can Save Your Marriage In 60 Seconds

(1) Comments | Posted October 4, 2016 | 2:09 PM

Got a minute? Good. Let's see how you can start to improve the dynamics in your marriage right now.

It's like this: There are sixty seconds in your day that are absolutely pivotal in terms of how you and your spouse will relate to each other for the entire...

Read Post

Should You Contact The Person Your Spouse Is Cheating With?

(9) Comments | Posted September 14, 2016 | 10:15 AM

It's something I hear all the time in my practice: "My spouse is having (or had) an affair. Should I contact the Other Man / Other Woman?"

My short answer is this: Nooooo!!!! Don't do it!

Easier said than done, right?

If you don't know who the...

Read Post

Being An "Alpha Mom" Is Killing Your Marriage

(4) Comments | Posted July 27, 2016 | 9:07 AM

A few days ago, I was trying on some clothes in a fitting room when -- just as I pulled the shirt over my head -- a sudden wall-shaking bang just about made me fall over.

I waited a moment and then, there it was: another wall-shaking bang. And...

Read Post

When Your Unfaithful Spouse Refuses To End An Affair

(17) Comments | Posted July 20, 2016 | 8:43 AM

When most people imagine a scenario involving a "cheating spouse" being caught having an emotional or sexual affair, they assume said cheating spouse will react apologetically. "I'm so sorry! It meant nothing, you're the one I love and want to be with! I'll do whatever it takes to fix this!"

Read Post

Why "We're Just Friends" Is Often A Lie

(24) Comments | Posted July 7, 2016 | 11:45 AM

So, I'm just wondering... whatever happened to trusting one's own gut? Is it unfashionable to do so? Politically incorrect? Fattening? There must be a reason that so many people have stopped doing it.

As a couple's mediator who works with couples trying to overcome infidelity and broken trust, I hear...

Read Post

The Difference Between Following Your Heart And Trusting Your Gut

(0) Comments | Posted March 3, 2016 | 4:40 PM

At first glance, you might think that "following your heart" and "trusting your gut" are similar. They're both about listening to your intuition, right?

It depends. I think our heart -- and, by that, I mean our desires and hopes -- can definitely help us become more intuitive and make...

Read Post

8 Ways To Have More Sophisticated Sex With Your Sweetheart

(3) Comments | Posted February 4, 2016 | 9:44 AM

Be honest. Have you started wearing your husband's T-shirts to bed too often? Have your formerly grand romantic efforts dwindled to a half-hearted, "So, you wanna?" Well, today's your -- and your partner's -- lucky day. Here are eight easy ways to class-up a sex life that has fallen out...

Read Post

8 Relationship Resolutions Every Couple Should Make

(6) Comments | Posted December 31, 2015 | 3:15 PM

Ah, we all love a fresh start, don't we? But between charging up that new Fitbit and vowing to stay on budget, be sure to make a few promises to your sweetheart. Here are eight relationship resolutions every couple should make:

1. Talk to your partner like he or she...

Read Post

Looking For A New Holiday Ritual? Try Something Old

(0) Comments | Posted December 15, 2015 | 2:54 PM

Ah, those nativity scenes outside churches this time of year are pretty, aren't they? The little baby, the cattle, the quaint little manger. I think they're lovely -- yet I don't actually believe the nativity story for a moment.

And I'm not alone. We live in a multicultural society where...

Read Post

These Are The Signs Your Spouse Is Having A Texting Affair

(1) Comments | Posted November 24, 2015 | 3:16 PM

When we talk about affairs, we often categorize them as emotional, physical, or both. That's helpful to some extent. Yet nowadays, there's another category that we can loosely call the texting affair.

An oversimplified scenario goes like this: Your spouse strikes up an opposite-sex friendship with a person at work,...

Read Post

Are You Afraid To Make A Change? Don't Let Fear Paralyze You

(0) Comments | Posted October 26, 2015 | 6:19 PM

I don't know about you, but every now and then when I'm highway driving at night I slip into a strange type of reverie. The black sky with the stars visible through my sunroof. The wash of white light from the headlights on the black road, illuminating my path as...

Read Post

Life Is Short, Turn Your Spouse On

(2) Comments | Posted August 19, 2015 | 7:59 PM

The recent Ashley Madison hack hasn't just exposed user data -- it's also brought to light our various attitudes toward marriage and monogamy in today's high-tech, high-strung society.

Ashley Madison's motto is brilliant marketing: "Life is short. Have an affair." Why is it brilliant? Well, because life is...

Read Post

Vestal Virgins: Feminism and the 'Evil Field'

(1) Comments | Posted August 15, 2015 | 7:49 PM

Despite the resurgence and richness of the Vesta tradition, many people who think "Vestal Virgin" still think of one thing: the fact that Vestals who broke their vow of chaste service to the goddess were buried alive. Let's be honest. Who can blame people for going there? It's a pretty...

Read Post

The Most Common Phrases a Cheating Spouse Uses

(18) Comments | Posted August 10, 2015 | 6:09 PM

As a couples mediator, my practice specializes in trust issues and tech-based infidelity. What do I mean by that? Well, it's infidelity that begins via technology -- in most cases, as texting between opposite-sex friends that eventually leads to an emotional and/or sexual affair.

While many couples enjoy...

Read Post

8 Ways to Take Your Marriage "Off Hold"

(1) Comments | Posted August 4, 2015 | 1:19 PM

Most of us have heard of the so-called child-centered marriage. It's where a couple focuses most of their time, energy and affection on their children and very little on each other. Of course, those of us who have kids at home know that the little darlings are demanding creatures (it's...

Read Post

6 Dating Tips From Around the World

(2) Comments | Posted June 25, 2015 | 6:02 PM

After many years of working with couples whose relationships are on the rocks, I know all too well how easy it is for spouses to fall into the "roommate rut" of familiarity and predictability. Yet singles and seeking often complain of the same type of thing: routine dating habits and...

Read Post

5 Ways to Succeed at Marriage

(0) Comments | Posted June 8, 2015 | 2:35 AM

succeed at marriage

Ah, the quintessential happy home -- mom, dad, a kid or two (or three) cuddled on the couch for a family movie night, munching popcorn and enjoying each other's company. In a world where divorce and family breakdown are rampant, does this vision still...

Read Post

Why Are Women Embracing Vesta and Contemporary Paganism?

(0) Comments | Posted May 8, 2015 | 5:49 PM

The rediscovery of ancient faiths like Vesta, as well as other pre-Christian polytheistic belief systems, has been skyrocketing for years now. And while both men and women are embracing these, I'd like to focus here on why women are doing so.

For starters, more...

Read Post

Should the Catholic Church Acknowledge the Destruction of Classical Pagan Culture?

(62) Comments | Posted April 16, 2015 | 2:04 PM

I recently read an article that offered a Christian apology to Jewish people for the wrongs committed against them. The author also acknowledged the way that Christianity was "built" on Judaism. That's great; however, there's a glaring omission here. Christianity was also largely "built" on the destruction and...

Read Post