Hollywood TV and film make the first date 'goodnight kiss' look so easy. It's usually not a closed-mouth 'see-ya-later' kind of kiss, but a deep, lingering, passionate kiss -- the kind that makes the viewer go, "Mmmm."
But the viewer doesn't see hands venturing anywhere inappropriate. Lips inevitably do unlock. And then what do the beloved duo do? They go home separately.
Pfft. Yeah, right.
There's no doubt in MY mind that 'parting' is a lot more difficult in real life. Especially when one is divorced and experiencing an intense, sexual dry spell. That lovely gentle kiss can very easily become deep kissing -- which causes hands to roam -- which leads to hips pressing, maybe some hair pulling and nail action; and HELLO! Who the hell wants to separate and go home then?
As a divorced woman who doesn't have an active sex life (sigh, blame it on bad luck) -- and hasn't for a long time, I'll honestly admit that if a man dared kiss me right now, and I was more than halfway into him (and he was a good kisser), clothes would be flying off within minutes. I wouldn't have the desire or willpower to show restraint. Nothing short of the roof collapsing would stop me.
I know my admission is very unromantic. I sound impatient, reckless, possibly even cave woman-ish. But if I polled a group of divorced men and women, I bet numbers would tilt more to the carnal side that the virtuous -- despite best intentions or values that insist otherwise. Stopping after a passionate kiss looks good and all in the movies, but it's what you do when you're, say, 15-years-old (or trying to be a good girl so he'll marry you?).
But to write the same script for a fully grown adult? One who knows how good sex feels, who went from a steady stream of sex while married to nada, and whose hormones are verging on a meltdown? C'mon! We're talking Mission (Next to) Impossible!
Sure, if one of the parties involved was self-controlled enough to take charge and pull him/herself away, then yes, perhaps all could unfold according to Hollywood script. "Maybe" the couple would even stand a better chance of a building a healthy, long term relationship. But a man has rarely tried to 'stop' with me post-kiss... even if we were still in his car! How about you?
So I opt to try and avoid first date kisses altogether -- a handshake or hug will do (as I beeline it inside my house.) I personally think it's easier to refrain from everything, than to have to shut things down mid-atomic explosion.
I'm just calling the situation as I see it here. folks. It's not romantic. It's not pretty. But it's darn well honest. What do YOU think?
Follow Delaine Moore on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Delaine_Moore