It’s Aug. 16, aka National Tell A Joke Day! You’re probably thinking, “Ugh, that’s not a real thing! You’re making that up!” One, if I was going to make up a day, it would be National I’m Awesome Day.
Two, does it really matter? After the week we’ve had, I think some stupid jokes that send us teetering between giggles and groans is exactly what we need.
Here are some of the best offerings from the beautiful people of Twitter for #NationalTellAJokeDay:
Why did the can crusher quit his job?
— Dad Jokes (@dadtellsjokes) August 16, 2017
Because it was soda pressing.
#NationalTellAJokeDay
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog #NationalTellAJokeDay
— That Guy (@RedDogFaction) August 16, 2017
#NationalTellAJokeDay
— Jikster (@Jikster2009) August 16, 2017
I suffer from kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
Why is peter pan always flying?
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) August 16, 2017
He neverlands.
I like this joke because it never grows old.#NationalTellAJokeDay
#NationalTellAJokeDay #bizhour
— Printworks Liverpool (@PrintLiverpool) August 16, 2017
*Knock Knock!*
"Who's there?"
"Someone who can't reach the doorbell"
😂....
What did the librarian say when the books were in a mess? We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves! #NationalTellAJokeDay @Booktrust pic.twitter.com/9eihAJZ60E
— Wolves Libraries (@WolvesLibraries) August 16, 2017
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He'd stop at nothing to avoid them. #NationalTellAJokeDay
— Mick (@RemeMick) August 16, 2017
#NationalTellAJokeDay
— Josh (@JoshScarabin) August 16, 2017
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
#NationalTellAJokeDay what is Forrest Gumps email password?
— Jodie✌️ (@wanhedaswolf) August 16, 2017
1Forrest1
I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded. #NationalTellAJokeDay pic.twitter.com/b6VUV5iilM
— The Ice Age (@Jamie_Woodward_) August 16, 2017
What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe?
— St Paul's Cathedral (@StPaulsLondon) August 16, 2017
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Narnia business!#NationalTellAJokeDay
#NationalTellAJokeDay I told my mum I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti,
— JoeyAC (@JoAsYouKnowIt) August 16, 2017
You should of seen her face when I rode straight pasta.
As I got out of my car this morning some guy threw milk, cream and butter all over my car.
— ilk (@ilkagency) August 16, 2017
I thought how dairy! #NationalTellAJokeDay pic.twitter.com/iHRPkbqEGd
#NationalTellAJokeDay I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me. 😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/7rrqR8NV58
— Great North Lodges (@GreatNorthLodge) August 16, 2017
Why are pirates called pirates?
— Bewl Water (@bewlwater) August 16, 2017
They just Aaarrgghhhh! #NationalTellAJokeDay pic.twitter.com/yCQQFLUECt
I just got diagnosed as colourblind! I didn't expect that-it came straight out of the purple! #NationalTellAJokeDay
— Antares (@Antares_912) August 16, 2017
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