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Erika Katz

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Preventing Teens From Asking "Am I Ugly?"

Posted: 02/22/2012 2:53 pm

An alarming new trend among teens and tweens are a slew of YouTube videos they are posting of themselves titled "Am I Ugly?" This video got over 3 million hits. Notice the bevy of comments ranging from insults from kids to come-ons from pedophiles.

These children's naivete and insecurity are out there for the world to see. In this particular video, it is clear the girl is seeking compliments. She believes she is pretty and wants everyone to agree with her. But, how does a parent prevent their tween or teen from exposing themselves like this? We have seen kids harming themselves due to cyberbullying when they do not put themselves out there. Now, they are asking for the ridicule, not to mention exposing themselves to sickos that want to hurt them. As parents, how do we help them to make better choices and control some of this? Here are some of my tips that can help.

1. Parents need to learn social media

So many parents tell me they are clueless about social media, do not have a Facebook page and don't even know what Twitter is. There is no excuse for this. Parents need to educate themselves on how to use Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, and any other social media their child uses.

2. Own the passwords

Parents must have all account passwords and should monitor texts, posts, and uploaded photos and videos. Being "friends" on Facebook is not enough because they can block you. You need to be able to get into their accounts.

3. Privacy settings

If your child posts to YouTube, go to the "Info and Settings" tab, scroll down to "Comments" and check off "Allow all comments with approval only." Your email should be attached to the account so you can personally monitor the comments. For Skype, only allow calls from contacts. For Facebook, be sure your kids do not have personal information on there and only allow friends to view their pages.

4. Remove inappropriate videos from Youtube

If your child has posted an "Am I Ugly" video, remove it immediately. Ask them why they felt the need to do this, what they were looking for, and show them the dangers of it.

5. Scare your kids

Educate your kids about the evil people in the world that want to harm children. Show them these videos and point out the comments that could be from pedophiles. Also, explain to your kids, once its posted on the Internet, it is in the cyber world forever. No comment even on your private Facebook page is private. Even deleted YouTube videos can be found.

 
 
 

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An alarming new trend among teens and tweens are a slew of YouTube videos they are posting of themselves titled "Am I Ugly?" This video got over 3 million hits. Notice the bevy of comments ranging f...
An alarming new trend among teens and tweens are a slew of YouTube videos they are posting of themselves titled "Am I Ugly?" This video got over 3 million hits. Notice the bevy of comments ranging f...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
anastmosis
04:15 PM on 02/22/2012
These suggestions may prevent teens from asking "Am I ugly?" out loud over the internet, but suppressing the expression of these impulses does nothing to address them. In fact, suppression can exacerbate the problem, whereas expression may be uncomfortable, but can be the first step towards addressing the root of the problem, which is the fact that these kids have these impulses in the first place. When these issues are addressed instead of merely suppressed, there are no more impulses to express and it automatically ends the problem of expression over the internet. Let's stop kidding ourselves that we're doing well only treating the symptom of the problem and start treating the problem itself.
09:18 AM on 02/24/2012
Well said.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
03:39 PM on 02/22/2012
I'm sure #6 was going to be...

Raise your children in way where they can deal with real life in case you aren't there to delete it, block it or NetNanny it.
10:32 AM on 02/27/2012
If only there was a manual for "raising your children right." You could raise three children the same way and they all make different mistakes. It is unlikely a parent would think to tell their child not to post a video like this because it seems absurd to do such a thing. Even the kids with the best upbringing do not always have the best judgement. The key to "raising them right" is to be involved in their lives and stay on top of what is going on in their world. While no parent wants to have to police everything their children do, social media is a different world full of pitfalls that can be devastating.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
12:06 PM on 02/27/2012
No, the key to raising them right is to teach them the tools to manage life on their own...without a helicopter parent buzzing overhead at all times.