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Why <i>The West Wing</i> Is The Best Wing

10/27/2014 05:35 EDT | Updated 12/27/2014 05:59 EST

What did you get up to this weekend? Maybe you hung out with your friends? Maybe you went to work? Maybe you did some errands? Maybe you wrote a super controversial Facebook status update with tinges of victim blaming? That all seems like it was probably fun for you. You want to know what I did this weekend? I watched the entire first season of The West Wing and it was potentially the best thing I've ever done.

Now before everyone is like "Wow Hannah you just now realized that Aaron Sorkin is super dope and creates well written shows? You're really on the pulse of the cultural zeitgeist, you dumb dumb!" I want to note that The West Wing aired in September of 1999 which means I had turned nine a mere three weeks before and all I knew of The West Wing was that when the tall lady started walking down a hallway my mom was gonna tell me to go to bed. Which I hated.

Then, this past weekend, my roommate was gone. And the only thing I hate more than my mom telling me to go to bed (which rarely happens anymore you guys! I'm totally growing up!) is living in my apartment alone. So, to trick myself into thinking I wasn't alone, I decided to play an episode of The West Wing because I knew that their whole schtick was that they talk a lot and fast and I needed some sweet sweet white noise. For about 7 minutes it worked to fill the air while I got some work done and then I very quickly made the decision to cancel pretty much everything I was supposed to do this weekend and watch the entire pilot season from start to finish. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Here's some thoughts that have been floating around my head for the last 72 hours.

1. C.J. Cregg is the single best written female character in television. Ever. She is mediating power in a room full of men and it is disgustingly beautiful to watch.

2. Walk slow + Talk fast = huge acting technique boner from Hannah

3. I (and potentially everyone) should start referring to the bathroom as "The Situation Room" because it will be so funny. I promise. Just imagine"Where's Emily?" "Sir, She's just entered the Situation Room"

4. Rob Lowe is the epitome of late nineties dreamy. Swoon alert.

5. Aaron Sorkin is teaching every television writer a clinic in tension building in this show. 30 minutes before anything bad happens you (to quote the great Carrie Underwood) get a real good feeling something bad's about to happen.

6. The part where Prez Bartlet is explaining to that dude what would happen if he and the Veep died and he says "You have a best friend? Is he smarter than you? Yup, that's your chief of staff" and then Leo overhears is the tenderest moment in old man friendship I've ever seen. It's the only time I've ever wanted to be an old, privileged, white, WASP-y, male.

7. Danny ConCannon is such a good name for a character. It's fun to say, it sticks in your brain, and it's got a great cacophony sound to it. You can be mad at a dude named Danny and you can have a crush on a dude named Danny all in the same minute. High fives to Danny's everywhere.

8. Bradley Whitford should be regarded as the greatest television actor of our time. This is not hyperbolic. Why is he not more famous? Someone please explain to me right now!

9. I need to sleep a lot less. Those people never sleep! I feel like such a lazy cuss.

10. Casting Rizzo from Grease as the first lady is such a hilarious move. Of course FLOTUS used to be a Pink Lady. Makes such perfect sense.

11. My oldest sister Martha owned every single outfit that Zoe Bartlet wears in this season. Martha, if you are reading this, don't deny your past preoccupations with Gap sweater sets, corduroy pants, and decorative bobby pins. 1999 was a weird fashion time for young women.

12. I'm fairly certain that Donna Moss is my idea of the perfect woman.

13. How sad is it that Martin Sheen's sons are such serious weirdos. Charlie Sheen for obvious "tiger blood" reasons. And Emilio Estevez because of Emilio Estevez reasons. My heart bleeds for the disappointment Marty must feel.

14. Knowing Rob Lowe as Sam Seaborne makes everything he does on Parks and Rec so much more impossibly funny.

15. Toby sucks. You think so too, I know you do. Even when he does good stuff like arrange a military funeral for a homeless guy my whole body is just like "ughh shut up Toby!"

16. No offense to Snuffy Walden but the music in this show is pretty wack. It's so funny when they end a show with an epic Sorkin closer and then it's like weird tinny music.

17. Prez Bartlet talking to children has taught me how to talk to children. Adults pretending to be dumb dumbs is flawless kid schtick.

18. I've started yelling "Get me (insert name of person I want to talk to)" into Siri on my phone as if Siri is my Donna. It has brought me a lot of pleasure in the last few days.

19. How the deuce does anything get done in American politics? I mean I know this is a fictional show but my lord! The beauracratic hoops!

20. I really need to find a hobby. I just spent three days watching The West Wing alone. Send help. I've gone down a Sorkin hole. Like a rabbit hole but filled with pith and vinegar.

Okay. You can now go back to stalking the #JianGhomeshi twitter feed. Thanks for reading my nerd notes. I'm gonna try to get a couple Epi's in before I have to go to work.

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