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Top 10 Retro TV Commercials & Jingles

Posted: 12/25/2012 5:23 pm

When I was a child in the 1970s and 80s, there was a plenitude of catchy commercials and singable jingles! My little friends and I would belt out these advertisements with the same fervor and conviction that we used to sing "The Ship Titanic" song! Many of these commercials had enough staying power to last a lifetime, and have been permanently imprinted on my memory. Here's a list of the best 10 commercials and jingles that I remember from my childhood, in no particular order.

1.Nair Who Wears Short Shorts? This commercial featured a singing group of young women who danced and pranced around with smooth, silky legs -- thanks to Nair hair remover! Beauty still sells products, but you don't see the singing so much anymore! "Who Wears Short Shorts? We wear short shorts! If you dare wear short shorts, get Nair for short shorts!"

2.Faberge Organics: I told two friends & they told two friends This was one of the earIiest commercials that I recall that featured the "screen-splitting" special effect. It started as a single frame of a beautiful woman on the screen, and her image kept splitting and multiplying into many of the same women. This woman liked Faberge Organics so much, that she told two friends about the product, then they told two friends, "and so on, and so on." Need I say that the commercial was parodied a great deal!

3.Be Very Careful Don't Cook Your Goose! Here's a child's game that I recently picked up again at a garage sale. The game was a cooking "pot" with a swinging board on which to balance little colored geese. The player who could keep their geese from falling into the pot was the winner. As the commercial panned to happy children playing the game, the jingle chirped "Be very careful don't cook your goose! Don't cook your goose! Don't cook your goose!"

4.Welch's Tired of Orange? Turn Purple! A bored little boy sat in an entirely orange kitchen. He wore an orange T-shirt, had an orange table napkin, orange kitchen fixtures all around him -- and a tall glass of orange juice. "Tired of orange?" a voice queried, "Turn purple!" Suddenly all the elements in the commercial turned purple, including the little boy's T-shirt and his kitchen. Of course, the glass of orange juice transformed into a glass of Welch's Grape Juice -- and the little boy's frown was corrected with a smile! Way to go, Welch's!

5. Eno: When indigestion is the burning question I was just a child, so obviously not taking antacid tablets, but I still remember the Eno commercial to this day. "When indigestion is the burning question, get fast relief with Eno! When your stomach says no, take Eno! Ahh!" My friends and I took turns making the "Ahh" sound!

6.Alka-Seltzer The market for indigestion products must have been really competitive when I was a child, because I also fondly remember one commercial for Alka-Seltzer. Various parodies also sprung from this one jingle. "Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is!" The demonstrative nature of the commercial was also memorable: two white tablets were dropped into a glass of water and began fizzing impressively! I've always been a sucker for a demonstration! There were many different versions of this commercial, starting in the 1960s.

7.Zips Sneakers I can still remember this commercial, although my parents refused to buy me these sneakers. Zips claimed that "they make your feet run faster." (Try that claim today without getting slapped with a class action lawsuit!) The commercial showed children wearing their Zips sneakers as they participated in various fun activities. The signature of Zips was a child drawing a big "Z" in the sand using their Zips sneakers! Oh, how many times did my friends and I draw that very same Z in our sandbox!

8.It's Slinky! Most everyone has heard of Slinky, the metal accordion toy! I remember watching the commercial with fascination as the Slinky slunk down an entire flight of stairs. Meanwhile the jingle goes something like this: "It's Slinky, it's Slinky! For fun it's a wonderful toy! Fun for a girl or a boy!"

9.Life Cereal: he likes it! Hey Mikey! I had to look up the commercial to find out it was for Life cereal, but I do remember the rest of the commercial. Two young brothers sat at the breakfast table, and didn't want to try Life cereal because they heard it was good for them. So they decided to pawn it off on their little brother Mikey, who apparently hated everything. But surprise, Mikey immediately started eating and savouring the cereal. So one brother intoned in disbelief: "He likes it! Hey Mikey!" Another widely parodied commercial.

10. My Little Pony Pretty Parlour My Little Pony is still going strong to this day, but I remember when it was called My Pretty Pony. This commercial showed little girls playing with their My Little Ponies and dressing them and styling their hair in a "Pretty Parlour" -- kind of like a plastic toy stable. Don't quote me, but the jingle goes something like this: "My Little Pony Pretty Parlor! You can pretty up your pony there! My Little Pony Pretty Parlor! My Little Pony has pretty hair!"

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When I was a child in the 1970s and 80s, there was a plenitude of catchy commercials and singable jingles! My little friends and I would belt out these advertisements with the same fervor and convicti...
When I was a child in the 1970s and 80s, there was a plenitude of catchy commercials and singable jingles! My little friends and I would belt out these advertisements with the same fervor and convicti...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Medusa Sant
Jedi on the streets. Sith in the sheets.
06:22 PM on 12/26/2012
I remember a commercial for Aero chocolate bars... Someone asks "Hey, what are you eating?" and the people pictured respond "Nothing! Nothing!". I think I remember an Inuit (Eskimo back then) and I know there were other people but I can't remember. It had to be in the 80's.
~or~
ABC Laundry detergent. I think it was... They all keep saying "I can't tell the difference, can YOU tell the difference?"
I watched too much tv when I was young. lol
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jenna Em
09:33 AM on 12/27/2012
Great memory! I recall both those commercials too.
03:07 PM on 12/26/2012
I watched WAAAYYY too much TV as a kid...and remember a few of those too. One jingle that's always stuck with me was for Happy Face. It was a moisterizing creme I believe. Then there was the Lipton Tea song! "When Lipton blows the whistle..." Then how could we forget the Benson & Hedges ads, which played that catchy tune in the background, which is actually called "The Disadvantages of You"...which I managed to buy on an album. (the name of the group escapes me... without looking it up). Those were the days indeed.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jenna Em
09:39 AM on 12/27/2012
I'll have to look up those commercials, rbwny!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
FearlessFreep
A radical leftist with a JS Woodsworth avatar.
09:24 PM on 12/25/2012
"Hey, you kids get out of that Jello tree!" (They changed it to "Hey, you kids getting me something from the Jello tree!" so it wouldn't look like they were promoting stealing.)
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jenna Em
08:44 AM on 12/26/2012
Oh, I have to look that one up...
08:05 PM on 12/25/2012
The one stuck in my head since childhood:

Weary, groaning voice "I can't believe I ate the whoooole thing"
Tired wife "You ate it, Ralph"
"I can't believe I ate the whoooooole thing"
"No Ralph, I ate it"
"I can't believe I ate the whoooooole thing"
"Ralph, take two Alka-Seltzer"

And then he is magically better!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jenna Em
08:45 AM on 12/26/2012
Alka-Seltzer seems to have made some very memorable commercials!
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truthupontruth
Grateful for every atom, photon and second
07:01 PM on 12/25/2012
My all time fave is Customer "How do you get my whites so white?" Dry cleaner man:"Shhh, ancient Chinese secret!" Dry cleaner wife: (from behind curtain) "My husband! Some hotshot!" (product plug) (Wife pokes head through curtain)"Need more Calgon!"Customer: "Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"
That lady was the first ethnic that I ever saw on TV without a foreign accent, just like me and my siblings.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jenna Em
08:48 AM on 12/26/2012
I remember the "ancient Chinese secret" part of the commercial, but did not remember which brand it was for. "Ancient Chinese secret" was the answer to many questions when I was a kid, thanks to that commercial! Here's the retro Calgon commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJP5f-fsHrs
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truthupontruth
Grateful for every atom, photon and second
02:21 PM on 12/26/2012
Thanks so much! I love it!!