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"Where Do Babies Come From?" and More Awkward Conversations With Kids

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PARENTING TEENS

A girlfriend, and mother of a seven-year-old going on 13, recently recounted a conversation she and her daughter had when they were showering together the other night, sometime they hadn't done in a while. They've had a few discussions about what's going to change about her body as she gets older. And so her daughter looks at her in the shower and says: "So, three things are going to happen to me."

"Three?" my friend asks, thinking they'd only discussed hair growth and boobies.

"Yeah, I'm going to get hair on my vagina and under my arms, then I'll get bigger boobies, and then a big butt," she declares.

Ah, kids say the darndest things! Especially when it comes to sex.

Like another friend's daughter who watched mommy breastfeed her newborn sister and then went to her new school and promptly asked her new female principal: "Who drinks milk from your boobies?"

Or the older of a mom's two sons who asked her how babies are made when he was seven. After consulting some books on how to talk to your kids about sex, she explained it to him. He looked at her with a horrified look and said "You mean you and daddy did that twice?!"

Another mom, pregnant with her fourth child decided to be straight with her eight-year-old when he asked her how she got pregnant in the first place. "He giggled and squirmed his whole way through it. I handled that pretty well, I thought, patting myself on the back. The next night at dinner, he came to the table, and looked at his older sister, his younger sister, and my huge stomach and said 'Oh Mom! Do you mean to tell me you had sex four times?!'"

"When my boys asked why I didn't have a penis I told them it was because I was a girl and girls had vaginas," retells yet another mom. "The word seemed a bit harsh for a two and a four-year-old, but the experts say to use the proper terms. So when Grandma came for dinner later that night, my eldest decided to share his newfound knowledge. He told Grandma that he knew she was a girl because she had a 'Gina.' I like the sound of that word a whole lot better, even though it made Grandma blush all the same."

"My youngest son wanted to know what the 'part' below his penis was," another mom tells me. "I explained to him that it was his testicles. He quickly replied he didn't like the look of it and could I take them off. I desperately wanted to agree with him about how they looked but instead I managed to explain as best I could without laughing that he might want them one day!"

Another mom whose son was discovering his testicles decided they were his "pumpers" and they were there to help get the pee out of his "weenie."

"I'll certainly tell that one at his wedding!" she laughs.

Do you have any funny stories about talking to your kids about sex?

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