We finally decommissioned our son's stroller a couple of months ago. It had sat largely unused in our back room -- blocking our dish cabinet and generally being in the way -- ever since Emile, who recently turned three, grew old enough to walk decent distances... and old enough to decide he was a big boy and that strollers were, like, totally for little babies.
Yet for those first 20-some months of his life, it was our most-used possession. It was also one of our most expensive and most controversial.
Strollers, ironically, come with a lot of baggage. These days, they can cost upwards of $1,000 and are seen as symbols of status and sources of derision. They even comprise their own battle division in the Mommy Wars. My wife may have loved our stroller, but she felt a lot of hating from other moms, online and off. As the New York Post described the stereotype in a strollers vs. slings piece: "stroller moms are corporation zombies with pimped-out rides that cost more than their first car."
Now, I must make a disclaimer: our Bugaboo Cameleon, with its gratuitous-yet-gorgeous, limited-edition Paul Frank fabric, was a generous gift from my mother-in-law. Being thrifty by nature, I may not have bought this particular stroller -- and definitely not new -- and surely wouldn't have shelled out extra for the primary-coloured print of monkeys, puppies, and pirate skulls. But damn, I'm sure glad we had it -- and, considering the countless hours we spent pushing Emile around and rocking him to sleep in it, I like that it was nice to look at, too.
But mostly I like how useful this marvel of modern engineering was, how it broke down into a small, easily packed item and transformed from a baby bassinet into a toddler chair while also being compatible with our car seat. I was able to take it into restaurants and fold it up out of the way. It navigated snow, sand, and forest trails, could be forward- or rear-facing, store plenty of groceries, and was lightweight, too -- a plus for my wife when she was out with Emile on her own. These so-called SUV strollers get a lot of grief for their size, but ours was a relatively compact 60 cm wide and 82 cm long.
Babies sleep a lot, so a stroller that doubles as a bassinet meant our baby was in it a lot, whether parked at the foot of our bed overnight, behind the couch in the evening, or in the kitchen while making dinner. It was so much more than a transportation device -- it was E's headquarters. Even after he moved to a crib at night, he still napped in it until last spring.
Sure, these strollers are totally overpriced and most fancy features add nothing but corporate profit -- the Bugaboo Donkey, released in Canada last year, costs between $1,200-$1600. No wonder many believe they represent the worst excesses of modern, materialistic parenting. The Globe and Mail's recent "Conspicuous Parenting" feature leads with an anecdote about a Thornhill man and his beloved $900 Origami stroller, which charges his Smartphone, measures his speed and distance, and even has headlights. "It's kind of an ego-booster," he said, embarrassingly out loud. The New York Times wrote a similarly themed feature on stolen strollers last year in which the author, and former owner of a $400 stroller, described it as an item "that epitomized privilege, and all that is loathsome about urban bourgeois parenting to begin with."
But let's put this into perspective. A thousand dollars for a stroller is a lot of money, but serious cyclists can also spend up to the same amount on their bikes. I'm not saying this Origami stroller and its ego-boosted owner aren't ridiculous, but its price point is an issue because it's a kid's stroller, not some expensive adult item like an iPad or a car. Is everyone who's not using an Android tablet or driving a used Tercel loathsomely bourgeouis, too?
Strollers have also become a flashpoint between parents and non-parents. Brooklyn hipsters are angry about sharing patio space, while recently in Toronto, a transit rider took to social media to sound off on a driver who refused to lower the bus for her and her stroller. According to mom Jodi Christie, the driver said she should "really get a smaller stroller that you can manage to lift onto the bus so that I don't have to mess around with this stupid bulls*** at 6:30 in the morning."
There was even a recent police stand-off in Halifax following a confrontation between a bus driver and several moms who refused fold up their strollers.
As per the Globe's example, the typical response is "maybe they should go out and buy a less expensive, smaller stroller." I get that. I bike (a $200 beater, if you were wondering) and feel the same way about actual SUVs hogging the streets. But unlike a downtown SUV, we used all the figurative horsepower our stroller had.
When people think of strollers, they tend to think of the tiny, fold-up umbrella variety, and that may be why these big ones are so hated. But those cheap strollers aren't suitable for babies and can be a nightmare to navigate. We did buy one for times when we wanted something smaller, but barely wound up using it because it was such a piece of crap.
We live downtown and we walk, a lot, and for those first couple of years our kid couldn't. When my wife was on mat leave, the stroller became her lifeline to get him around the city (and served the same purpose for me on weekends). This was especially true in the winter. If you drive everywhere, or usually use a sling, or live somewhere without snow, then an inexpensive stroller is fine. But that is not our life.
There's a curiously intense judgement surrounding these strollers, which are indeed unnecessary if you're primarily using it as a status symbol. But if you're using it as multi-functional device for hours and hours every single day, including sleep, naps and transport, it's a worthwhile investment.
Look: the billion-dollar parent-industrial complex is a terrible thing that scaremongers parents into overspending on their kids. In hindsight, we would have bought much fewer (and cheaper) items for those first two years. But this stroller more than came through in the use department.
Of course, stroller parents need to share sidewalks, be mindful on transit, and generally be more conscious of their surroundings, but so does everyone else. And, as for the high cost, well, just buy it used. I know of at least one that's up for grabs...
A version of this blog was originally published by The Grid.
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He's already full on crawling and pulling himself up to stand and transferring to different furniture - maybe because I don't restrain him in a certain type of seat nor do I think that I'm a certain type of mom other than whatever is most convenient to us.
My son is nearly 5 and when I do a 10k walk/run he still fits in it and reads or plays games or music requests for when he's too tired to keep up. Friends who had a travel system stroller couldn't walk with us in the snow, or their wheels locked regularly and this thing practically pushed itself and turned on a dime like a thing of magic. I can sell it now and still recover easily 2/3 of what it cost, meaning it wasn't really much more expensive than a typical "travel system" stroller would have cost. It was for years my grocery getter when we lived in town (6k walk each way) and nap encourager, and a great way of getting around and getting fresh air when we both needed it. My son was going through forest trails by the age of 2 weeks, checking out garter snakes with mummy. Worth every penny in our books.
I absolutely would have spent $1000.00 on it if the alternative was nothing. But if I can get a marvel of engineering for $250.00, why wouldn't I?
There may be a real case for the $1000.00 Bugaboo, but you are not very convincing when you list all of the normal features of strollers as game changers.
The of the childre -oh wait.
I know it is out of fashion to "have kids before you can afford them". But I have never been all that fashionable to begin with. So the kids wear thrift shop clothes and hand me downs and we spend the extra monies on healthy food and activities. My kids are healthy and happy, that's all that matters.
When I see other parents pushing their kids in thousand dollar strollers, you know what I think? Nothing. What do I care where they spend their money? Do I care what they think about my family's stroller? Of course not. Don't judge others and you won't worry about being judged.
I would have been thrilled if our baby carriage stroller would have converted to car seat and back, instead of filling the trunk or or having to switch to an umbrella stroller that gave a napping child no support. But that was in the early days of child car seats.
As for the price tag and gadgets -- I think a lot of first time parents and grandparents just get over-excited. Ever notice how there are twice as many photos of the first baby as there are of the subsequent ones all together? ;-)
Some women will do the same with a cheap stroller.
Some will never use either enough to justify the expense.
All I know is, during these periods of a womans life, they are completely insane.
Hormones and stuff !!
And now I'm going to slowly back my way out of this forum.
Sometimes it's the dads who are over the top.
And even more often -- it's the grandparents, especially if the first grandkid has been a long time coming. My in-laws wanted to buy us all kinds of fancy stuff -- first grandchild for them. My parents presented some very practical inexpensive stuff -- 12th grandchild.
The fact of them expresses our increasingly materialistic and vapid existence.
When we had a baby, our friends with 3 kids gave us the best advice: don't buy anything. Get a car seat, a wheel set that you can attach the car seat to, and a basket for sleeping. And for the next 6 months, that's pretty much all we needed.
Hey, you think they'd let a pregnant woman take a trip up to the ISS for a few months? Its a long shot, but I think orbiting in space might, just might be too far for them to travel. *hmmmmmm*
Just put a few necessities on the list: diapers, diaper genie, crib, snap and go, car seat, receiving blankets, onesies, sheets, clothing, stuffed animals, exersaucer, jumping thing, books. Other than this, get other people to make a donation to a worthy related charity.
Then you might actually enjoy yourself. Don't get caught up in the baby-industrial complex.
Designer fabrics? Seriously? LMAO!
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Just you wait, the effects of stroller envy manifest later in life and are devastating. Paul Bernardo? Cheap stroller. Osama Bin Laden? Cheap stroller. Celine Dion? Cheap stroller. Cher? Bought a cheap stroller.
If I were you, I'd run (not walk) to the nearest "Pramporium" and finance the most expensive contraption they have before its too late. *Trailing off* Tooooo laaaaaaaate.
The parents are doomed either way.......
That stroller represents a lot of unneccessary oil. All the plastic parts are made of oil, the metal needed oil to be smeltered, the factories ran on oil, the fabric is probably an oil synthetic, the wheels are prbably an oil product and on top of this is a lot of oil to bring them to market.
Now lets add in the extra oil burned while buses "lower" and the extra waiting time idling while this is done.
Seems ridiculous but all this is true and it is willfull blindness that these hyprocrits who are likely anti-oil. It is also why we will continue to pollute the air with carbon, because people are only concerned about their survival and having children which they want to have more stuff than the next child.