Jowita Bydlowska
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I'm the author of the bestselling memoir, Drunk Mom (Doubleday Canada, HarperCollins Australia, Penguin USA). Out in the U.S. on May 27, 2014.

Entries by Jowita Bydlowska

I Get Peaches Geldof: I Was a Mother While I Was an Addict

(2) Comments | Posted May 15, 2014 | 12:53 PM

Last month, an English celebrity, Peaches Geldof, 25, died of a heroin overdose while at home alone with her 11-month-old baby, Phaedra. I understand that kind of dangerous aloneness: a few years ago, I too was alone with my baby boy as I repeatedly got drunk, tried to stay sober...

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Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Get Out of Your Damn Tower And Get me a Beer

(14) Comments | Posted August 3, 2012 | 12:55 PM

I went on a date the other day. My date was engaging, excitable, asked me a lot of great questions and offered a lot of detail about himself. He shared his food with me. We totally hit it off. During rare moments of silence I would get distracted by the...

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The Deadly Cost of Bullying

(12) Comments | Posted June 22, 2012 | 11:05 AM

Confession: I was an A-hole kid. My parents raised me well but my teachers broke me. I gave into the monkey mentality and harassed another person who everyone decided was a loser. I will never, ever amend that. We were nine or 10 and he was a new kid who...

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Paper-Pushing Toddlers

(1) Comments | Posted April 23, 2012 | 3:29 PM

Have you noticed how much kids enjoy the mundane and bureaucratic aspects of life that we grownups hate so much? Pushing buttons, inserting coins, handing over tickets? How when you give them some old business card they hold onto it for dear life, how they go bug-eyed with excitement over...

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Postpartum Depression: Let Them Catch You Before You Fall

(3) Comments | Posted January 24, 2012 | 11:12 AM

Let them catch you. And if they catch you and let you go, write down their names and numbers, and keep them close... If you feel yourself starting to fall again, scream for the nets. You might need the nets later. Don't rip through the nets. They are there to...

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Is There a God? Always Question

(27) Comments | Posted December 22, 2011 | 9:36 AM

I want my son to question everything and Christopher Hitchens died recently (Dec.15).

First, about Christopher Hitchens: I'm weirdly sad. Maybe because I've just started to love him (I'm a late Hitchens bloomer), or maybe because I thought his last columns in Vanity Fair on his "living...

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Hey, Postpartum Brain, Shut Up!

(2) Comments | Posted December 13, 2011 | 10:17 AM

This sucks but listen, you gotta get with the program. You really do. So many people want to have babies and can't. And so many new parents adjust so well! And there you are, moping about, thinking how strangely horrible this is and feeling guilty about thinking this way. Look...

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Reading Is Hard! (In Defence of Real Books)

(37) Comments | Posted November 9, 2011 | 12:03 PM

There's a video going around of a baby who's using the hand gestures you'd use on an iPad when leafing through a magazine. This video kind of pissed me off. Or not the video, but rather the father's commentary: the baby doesn't understand how a magazine works because...

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How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Motherhood

(4) Comments | Posted November 2, 2011 | 9:25 AM

Here's the truth: despite the fact that I loved my kid more than anything in this world, I wasn't too thrilled about becoming a responsible grown-up when I had him. A recent Guardian article, "Growing-up for goths" by Louise Tickle, brought back memories of that first year with...

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From a Child Prostitute to a Housewife: Yay Women.

(31) Comments | Posted September 12, 2011 | 9:23 AM

Off the top of my head I can think of four reality TV shows that have stupid females in common. That seems to be the basis for these four shows. One: stupid, and two: female.

The first show is Keeping up with the Kardashians, which I haven't seen ever...

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Naked and Free on a Nude Beach

(21) Comments | Posted September 8, 2011 | 9:32 AM

The summer is almost over but it's not too late to get naked: consider the nude beach.

Though perhaps leave your students at home so you don't end up like the group that I saw huddled at the entrance to the beach, a couple of them making a few...

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I Cheated on You... Will You Marry Me?

(61) Comments | Posted September 2, 2011 | 7:00 AM

Every time I got cheated on, I was promised stronger commitment to make up for it. The first time, a reluctant boyfriend begged to move in, the second time a boyfriend got down on his knees and proposed, the third time a boyfriend signed us up for some very pricey...

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Solidarity -- From Lech to Jack

(5) Comments | Posted August 29, 2011 | 12:47 AM

As I looked across University Avenue and Queen Street I could see a sea of people peppered with orange to celebrate the colours of New Democratic Party (NDP) and pay their respects to its recently deceased leader, Jack Layton.

I was with my toddler and I promised him a...

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Little Girls Wearing Bras

(132) Comments | Posted August 20, 2011 | 10:36 AM

Three things. One: I had photos taken of myself at 11 wearing a corset and I liked it.

Two: When I was 12, I read Lolita.

Three: I have a problem with the Jours Après Lunes (days after moons) collection campaign that shows prepubescent girls in...

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A Failed Woman Out of the Kitchen: Why I Don't Cook

(114) Comments | Posted August 17, 2011 | 2:15 PM

I'm a failed woman. I'm not a cook. I'm not a bad cook or anything, I'm just not a cook. I don't make pies, cupcakes, pickles, jams, banana bread or even cookies from a mix. If you make me a pie, I will not make you one in return and...

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Kate Middleton and I Would Probably Rather Be Sad Than Fat

(50) Comments | Posted August 15, 2011 | 4:17 PM

That famous fattie, Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, has been slimmed down on the cover of Grazia magazine. Grazia is a UK tabloid and is now going through the typical tabloid day-in-life -- currently apologizing up and down for their tiny mistake to the media and...

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Relax!

(1) Comments | Posted August 4, 2011 | 12:34 PM

In the bedroom in the cottage where I'm staying there's a sign on the wall that I see first thing on waking. The sign reminds me of my childhood when my mother would barge into my room early in the morning with a litany of complaints. Her shrill voice was...

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