This question landed in my inbox and it was too colourful (and I fear too common a situation) for me not to share it. Here's what they are dealing with:
My neighbour's dog never shuts up.
A normal day has it up at 4:30 a.m. wherein it then proceeds to whine, cry, bark, and howl until 7 a.m. It barks when it's outside, it barks when it's in, it barks when our neighbours are home, it barks when they are not. It's relentless and even as a non-violent person, I've started fantasizing about drop kicking it in its curly stupid face. We like our neighbours and do the "Hey, how are you" thing, but we aren't close. How do I address this situation with them without utterly destroying our relationship?
Help?
Sleepless in T.O.
Dear Sleepless in T.O.,
Almost two things are as certain as your justified frustration. The first is that it is not the dog's fault. The second is that your neighbour is not going to like you calling them out. And that's just fine.
Dog owners think their pets are wonderful in the same way that parents think of their children, and that is in the most positive light. Maintaining the understanding that you can't knock the pooch off its pedestal will help you smooth this out. You won't win if you approach it from any other way. The pooch stays on the pedestal.
If you are close enough to exchange pleasantries, then you are close enough to have this conversation in person. Resist the temptation to slip a passive-aggressive note under their door. I am not suggesting the discussion is going to be pleasant, but it is worth it to have it face-to-face.
Take a deep breath and knock on the door. If the little offender greets you at the door when your neighbour answers, offer your hand for a sniff and a little head scratch. The pooch's owner will note the gesture.
Ask your neighbour if they have a quick moment to chat and explain that while you think their dog is delightful (this compliment is key), you are an absolute walking zombie because its barking keeps you awake. Let them know you've been debating how to broach the subject for ages and hoping it would just stop, but as it hasn't, so you've come to them to deal with it. Don't bitch. Don't complain. Don't get snotty. Simply state the situation, thank them for their time and wish them a great day. From there, you'll have to see how it shakes out. In the meantime, get earplugs.
If a week goes by and you are still not seeing progress, make a "Dog Be Damned" playlist that you can crank up to drown out the barking. See if they have the audacity to complain about how loud you're playing music at 7 a.m. If they do, I wouldn't be too fussed about destroying a relationship. They don't sound like the sort of people you'd want as friends anyway.
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Dealing with a noise nuisance : Directgov - Home and community
Environment & Heritage | Dealing with barking dogs
How to Handle Noisy Neighbors and Their Barking Dogs
Noisy neighbours dogs recorded in our kitchen 2012'01'09 at 17.41 ...
In our house, a similar situation across the lane.Constant barking outdoors. I would bring the dog to our yard and house, but they did not get the hint. I invited the neighbours for a cup of tea and asked what we could do. Suggested we could take the dog when we were home, but not always. Then proposed other options, citronella collar, keeping inside and hiring a service to take the dog out daily. It also worked out. Loud music is hostile.
I don't like noise and I don't like dogs very much, although I do make exceptions for individuals if they demonstrate likeable characteristics. I'd be on the phone to the by-law enforcement and the police until the barking was dealt with. As it happens, I've been very lucky with good neighbours over the years, but when the adult children of one set of neighbours used to stay over to "look after the house" for them, I called the police on their drunken, foul-mouthed selves, and I'd do the same for barking dogs.
After three years of unrelenting barking, one of the dogs was attacked and killed by another dog... I'm ashamed to say, I was thrilled. The lab died two years ago and the other dog followed within months. They bought two more dogs immediately and these are normal dogs. They bark when the mailman comes for 10 minutes and then quiet.
I love my neighbors, I loved their son when he was learning drums and I'd laugh when I'd hear the kids come screaming down their stairs but those dogs had me dreaming of violence. We even thought about moving.
I should say that they tried everything to solve the problem. I was honest with them because I work at home and my hubby works shifts so it really was horrible. The only thing that could have helped would have been to send them to a country home.
I live in what used to be a very quiet neighborhood-retirees and low key people. Some of us (myself included) have dogs, but I've never had a problem before. That is, until the house next door sold and in moved a family, and their token barking dog.
He starts at 7am, and often barks for hours, unnoticed or attended to by it's owners. I have no idea why these people even have a dog, as it's tied to a dog house for 12-14 hours a day, whether they are home or not, no matter the weather and best I can tell, no one pays it any attention. And it's LOUD. I have to turn my TV to full volume just to drown it out because it is as if the dog is in the next room.
I know some people wouldn't be bothered by a dog barking between 9-5-ish hours, but I've been off work the past year+ undergoing cancer treatments and recovering. I still spend many days at home, and I have no peace while this dog barks. Never mind it waking me up in the mornings.
My town has a bylaw, but I have been hesitant to report because I really don't need the potential backlash.
What I don't understand is, bylaw or neighbors or no, what pet owner wants to listen to that themselves?
I'm glad the situation worked for you, but not an option for me, I have enough on my plate caring for the one I have.
As an aside, pets are wonderful, but are not always healers or peaceful companions at times like this. Some animals feed off stress while their owners are ill, and act up as a result. Animals do not always understand that you feel horrible or are too weak to get off the couch, they still want letting out or their messes cleaned up. An animal is a huge responsibility, and not something to take on lightly as an illness companion, particularly if you live alone.
A friend tells, "A neighbor up the street from us had a small dog, and they allowed the dog to run loose all night, every night. Naturally he ended his flight each night, at our back yard, barking at the animals in the area, rabbits, squirrels, etc.
My dad was a light sleeper and came home from work each day terribly exhausted, so his sleep was utterly a must. He had little patience with this neighbor, who basically told my dad to live with it or move. Well, dad would not settle for that kind of a response. So he plotted his little revenge.
Next night the dog came back again and while he stood out there in the (full) moon light of the middle of the night, dad pulled his little old shot gun out through the window and gifted that doggie a tail end full of buckshot.
Doggie never came back of course. Dad was left looking like a ridiculous fool for having no self-control. His shame left him red faced for weeks. The neighbor was furious and it ruined our relationship with them forever."
Not a good direction to take, obviously. But, I thought it a good story to depict just how bad a barking dog can affect a neighborhood.
Wishing you "all" the best of outcomes.
***
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It is true that many of these bylaws are basically just giving the facade that town/city council is actually doing something. I can somewhat understand police reluctance to involvement in stuff like this-it should be primarily animal control, while police deal with the criminal code violations. I personally hate calling police for stuff like this.
That said, it doesn't sound like the dog owners in the story are quite so conscientious. And your first advice, however patronizing it sounds, is good advice. Don't insult the dog or the neighbor but let them know that it is bothering you. Most responsible pet owners would be receptive. This won't work for everyone (particularly the folks who just have dogs as animals in the backyard and not family members) but it's definitely a good place to start.
The same people who would flip their lid and maybe confront neighbors if someone reported their dog(s) are often the same ones who wouldn't bother to even mosey over to introduce themselves and comment about how their dog might be bothersome.