Recently on Facebook I was involved in a thread about sweatpants. Though it was one of many as of late -- this one got ugly. Do I like to poke the bear? Maybe a little but only because people are so defensive about their right to wear sweat pants. They make it too easy.
In this thread I was called a f*cking moron, biased, uneducated, and a fashion whore with low self-esteem who is the reason that 13-year-old girls cut themselves. I was taken aback by all of these remarks from perfect strangers for simply suggesting sweat pants were best left at home.
I always say the same thing over and over again when I am involved in these conversations: "When you dress better you feel better", that is the only point I ever have. Is there a time and place for sweatpants if your choosing to wear them? Sure. At home or the gym -- not at the mall, not on a date. And never do I ever attempt to make my point in a mean-spirited aggressive manner such as the one I was met with in my last discussion.
After the annihilation of my stylish ego I immediately took to social media licking my wounds and sounding off on how the sweat pant army was after me. Of course an outpour of love, reassurance and humour filled my news feeds from friends, clients and students. I knew I wasn't crazy.
But really what is the trigger here? Is it the sweatpants? Or is it just fashion in general?
What is it about someone who loves fashion or just simply cares about what they wear and how they present themselves to the world that is so infuriating to some people?
In the opening minute of The September Issue Anna Wintour describes the fashion world best:
"I think what I often see is that people are frightened of fashion and that because it scares them or makes them feel insecure they put it down.On the whole people that say demeaning things about our world, I think that's usually because they feel in some ways excluded or not part of the cool group. So as a result they just mock it.
Just because you like to put on a beautiful Carolina Herrera dress or I don't know a pair of J. Brand blue jeans you know instead of something basic from Kmart it doesn't mean your a dumb person.
There is something about fashion that can make people very nervous."
Listen, I am the first person to admit that I am not saving lives over here in fashion land, but there must be something positive about helping men and women dress better if they feel better in the process. And I refuse to believe that in order to dress sophisticated, classy and charming, a wardrobe of sweat pants is involved.
What happened to "Dress for the job you want not the job you have?" Does this not apply to everything? Dress for the type of date you'd like to attract, dress for the type of party invitations you'd liked to receive, dress to get bumped into first class, dress to get a front row seat at New York Fashion Week last-minute because your not getting there if you look like a slob.
Where has the pride in presenting oneself gone? I grew up literally North of nowhere, but when we went to town we dressed up, when we traveled we dressed up. Going somewhere whether it be a restaurant or to the mall used to be a privilege. What happened? Who is to blame? Lululemon?
I blame them a lot but it's not their fault they made awesome yoga gear that somewhere along the way somehow became totally acceptable clothing to wear to work with heels. How can people not know this isn't appropriate? Was there a memo that went out that I missed or something because I just don't understand?
At the end of the day I don't care if anyone wears sweatpants in public. Go ahead, you obviously don't need my help because what you're really saying is "I have given up anyway," isn't it?
Follow Karla CarolAnn on Twitter: www.twitter.com/karlacarolann
Lastly, I'm surprised at how many people claim to not care about how they are perceived. It's all well and good to feel that you are above looking nice, but just remember that regardless of how you feel about it, we all pass judgement on others based on appearances. Chances are, you aren't getting the respect you deserve when you don't present yourself well.
They say you have to see yourself how you want to be seen. Next time you throw on those sweats on your way out the door, take a look in the mirror, and ask yourself what you really see.
For a lot of people dressing up involves donning expensive clothes. These clothes aren't the everyday wear for most people, and could leave them feeling like they're playing dress-up or just plain uncomfortable. And for what? To impress other people? That does seem to be the impetus to dressing up. Otherwise you'd be wearing something comfortable, like you're used to.d
And of course you have the flip side of people who follow fashion, and can afford it. They're used to better quality, better tailored clothes that would make them feel good and presentable. And I bet if you had them wear yoga pants and t-shirts for a whole day, they'd be the ones complaining about looking slouchy and unkept. It all just boils down to perception though, and it's no coincidence that the "better you look" the more money you'll have spent on clothes, hair and make-up.
If a person has never spoken to you, they are going to make assumptions about you based on how you look, whether they are concious of it or not. Dress the way you want people think about you. If your personality reflects what you're projecting to the outside world, you can never go wrong.
And your main point is horribly wrong.
The quotation should be:
"When you, Karla, dress better you, Karla, feel better".
The trigger, the cause of the argument is that you, Karla, feel the need to impose your standards and your insecurity on other people.
You, Karla, may do so, but I do not tie my self worth into my clothing.
I am completely self satisfied with my life and my being whether I'm in sweat pants or in more 'formal' clothes.
Know what I blame? You, Karla, being insecure and needing "fancy" clothes to feel better about yourself, combined with you, Karla, expecting that everyone else should as well.
I would also add that there is some sense of personal fashion. If you agree that clothing defines the person, then why should someone who buys cheap Walmart "dress clothes" be given more credit than someone who IS spending hundreds of dollars to buy Lululemon "sweatpants". Or does dressing up include jeans? What about expensive designer jeans? What if those expensive designer jeans are pre-ripped or made to look used and/or wrinkled?
The perception of clothes is now less about what they were meant for (ie. the gym) and more about personal style and, in a sense, how much it cost. Hell even at work I am expected to dress professionally. They banned "dress down" fridays because they felt jeans weren't professional. And yet my dress down clothes were far nicer and more professional than a number of people's dress UP clothes.
Secondly, I think you have some fair points, however, I take serious issue with your last comment - "At the end of the day I don't care if anyone wears sweatpants in public. Go ahead, you obviously don't need my help because what you're really saying is "I have given up anyway," isn't it?
Obviously you do care, otherwise you wouldn't be writing about it. And no, to be clear, I don't need your help, thanks anyway. I wear sweat pants in public sometimes, not often, but there are days when I just feel like it. It doesn't mean I've given up, it just means I don't constantly feel the need to dress up and I don't care what people might think. Sometimes comfort is my top priority. I suggest trying it sometime, it's nice and kind of liberating!
Signed ~ Sad in Belleville ON
When I dress to the 9's I feel no different than when I'm wearing a ratty t-shirt and sweat pants (except that I'm a little more careful not spill things on myself...or won't let the dogs jump up and down on me).
Having said that, I do note that I get treated better, and flirted with more when I'm dressed up.
Having said THAT, so long as I act with integrity, kindness and wisdom, how other people view me really isn't my problem.