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Teenagers vs. Toddlers: Which Are Worse?

Posted: 11/24/11 09:10 AM ET

I recently engaged in a debate online with other parents about whether they thought the teen years or the toddler years were harder to survive.

Depending on the age of your children, opinions vary, although I think that parents of toddlers who nod and say, "I hear teens are worse" don't really believe anything could be difficult than the perilous parenting of a tippy and tantruming toddler.

Of course, both ages and stages have their challenges, but the general consensus seemed to be that the teens were a little harder to take; mostly because they weren't necessarily so cute anymore and there was this whole bad attitude thing going on. The girls get snippy and the boys get surly; that's what teenagers are made of. But as a mom who has brought up a few toddlers through to their inevitable teenage stage, I know that there can be some great things about having these older kids in the house. So I decided to employ a public relations strategy aimed at the average teenager, and inspire those parents who are currently going through the toddler years, and who might be feeling a little dispirited to learn that it in fact doesn't get any easier.

So, with some positive ink, here are the great qualities today's teenagers have, supported by words from their own brace-laden mouths:

• Budding Independence:
"I can manage my own life, Mom." Pause. "Can you make me a grilled cheese?"

• Critical Thinkers:
"Are you wearing that? Like outside the house? Just asking. Okay then."

• Clarity-Seeking:
"Oh, are you still talking?"

• Solution-Focused:
"What is the point of being fat? I mean, just stop eating. There. Done."

• Philosophical:
"What is the point of a parade? You just stand there and people go by and then it's over."

• Proud:
"That's just your work stuff. I have real work to do. You know, for school. For my future."

• Curious:
"What do you do all day? It's not that important, right?"

• Logical:
"But you'd have to drive me to this party if I didn't borrow the car. So I'm saving you time. What's your time worth anyway? Can you give me some money?"

• Comforting:
"Mom. Seriously. Don't worry about your hair. No one is looking at you anyway."

• Mindful of Others, Especially Brothers:
"Someone has to tell him he's an idiot."

• Efficient With Their Time:
"Anyway, I stopped listening 10 minutes ago. What?"

• Advisers :
"Old people go to bed at 10 p.m., Mom"

• Helpful:
"Could you buy some good food?"

Like many facets of parenting, it's always beneficial to look on the positive side of things. But try not to take it too far when they're toddlers. We're on to you when say thing like:

• The great thing about the baby waking up at 2 a.m. is that we have quality bonding time together. (HE DOESN'T SLEEP!!!!)

• He's really impossible to feed. Guess he has discerning tastes. (HE WON'T EAT!!!!)

• When he threw that toy at my head I knew he would be a man who knew his own mind. (IF HE ATE AND SLEPT MORE, HE WOULDN'T BE SO FUSSY!!!!)

Personally I embrace the more unpleasant qualities a teenager brings to the (dinner) table, versus his toddler counterpart. Not the least of which, they made writing this article incredibly easy, as I stole all of their lines from them. Now who's showing some attitude? And yes, I'm totally wearing this outside.

Quick Poll

Which are worse: toddlers or teens?

Toddlers! They're so fussy.

Teens! They all need an attitude adjustment.

When not writing down everything her kids say, Kathy is hard at work on her next book, "I Am So The Boss Of You", due out with McClelland & Stewart, Spring, 2013. Follow Kathy on twitter at www.twitter.com/kathybuckworth, and visit www.kathybuckworth.com.

 

Follow Kathy Buckworth on Twitter: www.twitter.com/KathyBuckworth

I recently engaged in a debate online with other parents about whether they thought the teen years or the toddler years were harder to survive. Depending on the age of your children, opinions vary, ...
I recently engaged in a debate online with other parents about whether they thought the teen years or the toddler years were harder to survive. Depending on the age of your children, opinions vary, ...
 
 
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04:20 PM on 12/01/2011
Hands down teens are WAY worse! My daughter was especially challenging as a toddler (flushing an entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet while I was on the phone was one of her many accomplishments) and is even more so now that she is sixteen. In fact, to maintain my sanity I blog about her and the rest of my family at Rita's Reflections. My latest post "I’d NEVER say I told you so, would I…really?" reveals what happened when she got her belly button pierced. http://ritarussell.wordpress.com/2011/11/30/id-never-say-i-told-you-so-would-i-really/
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AKQueenie
No such thing as coincidence, just synchronicity.
01:20 PM on 11/29/2011
Reason # 21 why I will never have children. I could never decide which age group was worse!
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Texplaygrl
07:48 AM on 11/29/2011
I'd take 6 toddlers to one teen!

Toddlers can be controlled to a point where teens...forget it!
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themightyabealrd
screw the real world-I'm an artist!
05:36 AM on 11/29/2011
I have plenty of memories (both good and bad) of my kids as toddlers and then as teens. Adolescents are in the process of breaking away from familial bonds and can be quite brutal at times. Then they'll turn around and do or say something that melts your heart.
There's no getting around the fact that I am really looking forward to my grandson becoming a teen, so that when his father (son #2) calls me to complain about his behavior I can laugh maniacally before saying "Payback!" and hanging up.
07:47 PM on 11/28/2011
I have personal experience with this topic, and must say that teens are definitely the more
challenging, frustrating, and down right anger enducing group. My 21 month is far more patient, helpful, relaxed, and stress free than my 13 year old. They both come with their own sets of issues, but at least the baby doesn't talk back!
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charleyvldm9
He thinks outside the box.
07:37 PM on 11/28/2011
TEENAGERS claim they're living in a vacuum--- too young to be adults, and too old to be children,thus giving parents the worse problems ever.
07:35 PM on 11/28/2011
Oh my goodness, I would much rather have teenagers than toddlers. At least with teenagers you can see the light at the end of the parenting tunnel. :o)
07:18 PM on 11/28/2011
I would say toddlers, because they have lack of ability to communicate and understand right from wrong. But then again toddlers are sweet and innocent and so cute, where with teenagers the attitude is no longer cute anymore.
07:12 PM on 11/28/2011
My oldest is 16 and my youngest is two and a half, so I get to experience the joys and pitfalls of both age groups everyday! Sometimes I think I'm crazy, to have had four kids spaced over 14 years. Especially when my lovely 16 year old son tells me I really should have stopped with one child when my toddler runs away from me at the 16 year old's tournament and strips off most of his clothes before I manage to reach him and put a stop to the naked while outside idea. But then the 16 year old spent 45 minutes playing his littlest brother's favorite game -- choo choo airplanes. I go crazy after 10 minutes, so it's nice to have someone who can hang in there for the extended version.
07:02 PM on 11/28/2011
that question was tooooooo easy...def. teens!
06:29 PM on 11/28/2011
I think teenagers have the potential to be much worse, as their impulsive, stupid decisions in an effort to be cool and liked can get them arrested, pregnant or killed.
05:36 PM on 11/28/2011
Not all teenagers are as terrible as this makes them out to be. I know plenty of teenagers that are respectful of their parents and would never say anything like what's in this article.
05:44 PM on 11/28/2011
Yes, but very few of them.
05:10 PM on 11/28/2011
Trust me on this one. Teenagers are worse than toddlers any day. They think they are so smart, can be so defiant and will more than likely drive you crazy. However, as in my case, my daughter straightened out when she got older and realized how smart I was! Hahaha!
05:08 PM on 11/28/2011
Trust me on this. It is teenagers.
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Cindy Downing
04:40 PM on 11/28/2011
Without even reading the article I am going to say teenagers, because you can pick a toddler up, carry them out of a store, put them in a car and drive them home where you can put them i their crib and close the door...knowing where they are and what they are doing at all times...